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Hi
Hey man
Me: *wakes up before my alarm* You know this feels very nice, actually...
*alarm rings reminding me of the shit I need to get done*
Me: *filled with sudden anger* CHAOS I CALL TO YOU
Hi, reader. Remember that children book series you adored? Here’s how old the characters would be now.
Percy Jackson - turning 31 this August (The Lightening Thief was published in 2005. Percy was twelve.)
Amy and Dan Cahill - 30 and 27 (The 39 Clues wiki page puts Amy as born in 1994 and Dan in 1997.)
Sabrina and Daphne Grimm - 30 and 26 (The Fairytale Dectectives was published in 2005. Sabrina was 11. Daphne was 7. Some disagreement on the fandom wiki for their birth years compared to publication date.)
Artemis Fowl - 38 (The first book was published in 2001. Artemis was 12.)
And the real kicker?
Junie B. Jones would be 37. (The first book was published in 1992. She was 5 in the series.)
I hope you all feel as old as I do.
WHY does no one remember that the name of Piper's ZIT is BOB.
Small Bob
Titan Bob
ZIT BOB
No thank you.
As It Was by Harry Styles and Nothing's New by Rio Romeo are both opposites of each other and somehow still feel like personal attacks against me.
As they repeat the same line over and over again I feel this sinking feeling of misery and nostalgia at once.
The best songs can rip you apart or put you back together.
Y'all, what if Percy went to a Greek museum (in new york, of course,) and told some genuinely Greek person that he was half-Greek and could speak Greek.
They stand there expecting this green-eyed white boy to spout some broken Greek but end up hearing the most pure, jaw-droppingly beautiful ancient Greek.
Everyone's shocked as hell and Percy's just confused until he remembers that he doesn't know how to speak modern greek
Percy runs away and gets chased by a few well-intentioned journalists on the way out.
Annabeth finds him somehow, sighs, and helps him get away.
"WE HAD ONE DATE WE PROMISED EACHOTHER!"
"I'm sorry Annabeth I swear."
Love this perspective 🥹🥹
I know Kaz gets a lot of shit for calling Inej and investment in Six of Crows, but if you take into account the culture he grew up in, it's actually really sweet. Hear me out. When you acknowledge just how important commerce is in Kerch, and particularly Ketterdam, it adds a lot more meaning behind the seemingly throwaway line. Commerce is more than just financial in that culture. It's spiritual. This is a place where the main god is Ghezen, the god of industry and commerce. Their main church is literally called the Church of Barter. Saying someone is an investment in a culture like that would have way deeper implications than simply a surface level business transaction. It's someone you'd want to take care of and protect. Someone you'd want to see succeed and keep close enough to reap the benefit from that success. Someone you'd put time and effort into. It wouldn't be surprising if marriage or having children would be considered an investment in that culture because, to them, it wouldn't cheapen the emotional value of these things but highlight just how important those relationships are. It's not surprising that this goes over Inej's head (and most of the other characters' heads) because she's not from that culture. But for someone who is, it would show just how important his relationship to her is to him. Especially considering he says this while he's putting himself in danger (and probaby a lot of pain considering his leg) just to save her and keep her safe.
I feel like Silco and Kaz Brekker would be allies who are wary of each other but also respect each other in their own twisted way.
I hope I die in 2069 cause that would be a great joke.
Ya know, just like my life.