Someone In My Family: Says Some Stupid Shit.

This is the best thing I've read all day!!

I used to feed the crows on campus every day because it was easier than making human friends (I had one already - and Robin likes crows as much as I do). Pretty soon, they figured out where I lived and would alight upon my dorm windowsill and watch me. I offered them only healthy things, like leftover fish, hard boiled eggs, nuts, suet, and dog food. They were already habituated to humans and had no fear of us, and I figured it was better to feed them real food instead of the french fries they’d get tossed.

It only got weird when people began to notice that crows would follow me to class. Two in particular would fly alongside me as I walked across campus, landing and cawing for treats and keeping pace with me. Sometimes people would try to scare them off and I’d have to explain that Heinrich and Fatima weren’t bad omens signaling my doom, just spoiled little brats.

Ah, shit... I know all of these

“kids these days are so cringey w their fortnite dances-” are none of yall going to acknowledge the shit we did. are we not going to acknowledge gangnam style. what does the fox say. if we go older hamster dance. crazy frog. the fucking duck song. the llama song. charlie the unicorn.

let he who is without sin throw the first stone

"I think we've all broken Bill Nye, and I, for one, am absolutely on board with his new, gritty reboot!"

~ John Oliver

BILL NYE can’t stress the importance of Climate Change enough

"Not a squirrel! " XD

Some more funny library signs.

What if Barack and Michelle were never on vacation, but were out destroying Steve Bannon’s horcruxes?

So important for everyone to understand

7 Rules For Fun And Consensual Sex, Courtesy Of Planned Parenthood

A new video series from Planned Parenthood is illustrating just how sexy consent is.  

Published on Sept. 21, the four videos created by Planned Parenthood discuss consent and how integral it is in healthy hook ups and relationships. The videos cover topics including the definition of consent, and the signals to look out for when your partner is just not into it.

More questions? For a detailed breakdown of what consent is read on here.

This happened to me today! Walking my dog and there was something, something in the front yard of a neighbour's property... I could almost see it, but not quite. It was like a mirage concealing something powerful and amazing.

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

A good story, flawlessly told? Nah...take a hard left turn off that road and hang on for the ride!

Prince Mith presents: “The Poet In Me”

♥ ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Isabella Diamonde, an ordinary country girl with seafoam orbs and honey-colored tresses, knows she’s taking a risk when she applies as a housemaid in the Black Estate. After all, an air of dark mystery surrounds its Count, the chisel-jawed and arrogant Arthorious Black, who is famed for his provocative iconoclastic poems and happens to be mesmerizingly handsome. But what choice does Isabella have? After all, her father, who always saw her as a burden, is terribly ill and can’t afford treatment.

Before Isabella knows it, she is caught in a downward spiral of sinister secrets and devouring passion, where desires pool darkly, salacious confessions are whispered and ejaculated, and inner deities dance to scandalous rhythms unheard of before.

And there’s bondage too!  

♥ ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Following last week’s poll, I decided to exchange the weekly bonus poems for one or two pages of “The Poet in Me,” a satire romance novel where I’ll try to fulfill every romance cliche, break every writing rule, and use every flowery adjective and metaphor to have ever been seen on a page. A little respite beside the serious writing for “Dreams of the Dying.”

Starting next week, I’ll release a new page on my Patreon each Tuesday for Patrons and probably make it public here on Tumblr a week later.

Please reblog if you think Isabella Diamonde’s and Arthorious Black’s story is worth being told! :)

just learned that magnolias are so old that they’re pollinated by beetles because they existed before bees

It’s COVID-19, not CORVID-19. A corvid is of the crow family.

19 crows are not gathering to kill you.

But if they are...it’s a murder.