Headshots For All The Characters I Did From Batman Caped Crusader.

Talia walked over to Damian, her expression a mix of playful reprimand and maternal affection. After a brief pause, a smile broke on her face as she scooped up her ten-year-old son, wrapping him in a warm embrace and showering him with kisses. Damian barely had time to react before he found himself trapped in his mother’s affectionate onslaught, overwhelmed by the scent of her strong perfume.

Damian (embarrassed): I’d rather be stuck in an elevator with Clayface than deal with this… this is my life now. Why is she so smothering?

Talia (ignoring her son's complaining): Shush, let me love you, my sweet tifl! I haven't seen you in three months and this is me being better then my awful, awful, awful father.

Ra's Al Ghul (smoking from a cigarette): I am the reason you stopped being insane after what Nyssa put you through, but sure put the blame all on me.

Damian thrashed his legs in a vain attempt to escape while reaching out to his grandfather for help.

Damian (begging): Grandpa, help!

Ra's Al Ghul: Nope. She once kicked me in the crotch with a heel when I tried to scold her parenting. Bruce, you wanna give it a shot?

Bruce simply walked away, not saying a word. Faced with the relentless affection of his mother, Damian groaned as Talia continued to shower him with kisses.

Talia: You should be happy to have such a strong, powerful, highly skilled, and sweet woman as your momma!

Damian let out a dramatic whine, but he resigned himself to her embrace, knowing this was just part of being her son. For now, he was at her mercy.

If they were transformers what vehicle would they be

Dick: a clown car

Jason: a freight train

Tim: the Batmobile he embezzled

Damian: a horse-drawn carriage

Duke: a Mars rover

Cullen: a go-kart

Stephanie: a speedboat

Cassandra: a UFO

Barbara: a submarine

Harper: an 18-wheeler

Carrie: an ice cream truck

Kate: a bulldozer

Helena: a helicopter

Luke: a fighter jet

Bette: an ATV

Alfred: a coach bus

Selina: a limousine

Bruce: a suburban dad van

BONUS – the Joker: a Tesla cybertruck

dadwave

Harley (dieting for three days): If I don’t eat something that’s not celery… I’m going to snap.

Her eyes darted to Jason, who was savoring a cheeseburger. He chewed slowly, oblivious to Harley’s hungry gaze fixed on him. She smacked her lips staring at the burger he tried to hide his meal.

Harley: Give me that cheeseburger!

With a burst of energy, Harley pounced on Jason, knocking them both to the ground as she wrestled him for the burger while he tried to crawl away, pushing her back.

Jason: I spent a lot of money on this!

Harley: Let me have at least one bun!

Jason: Just stop dieting already! You look fine!

Artemis (sarcastically, while cleaning a gun): Oh sure, because that’s going to fix everything.

Jason: Why did you decide to diet during a mission?!

Harley (attempting to swipe the burger away): I have to go to an awards show; just let me have a bit!

Roy (while reading): Harley, you have to fight the urges.

Artemis: You should know—

Roy: Don’t finish that sentence.

Jason, being dragged away while holding the burger, pleaded for help.

Jason: Could one of you help me?!

Bizarro walked over to the scuffle, effortlessly lifting Harley as if she were a backpack and shoving Jason's burger into her mouth.

Bizarro: It’s not a veggie burger, as well.

Harley (with her mouth full): Good lookin' out, buddy.

the lego batman movie reads like it was written by jason and tim mocking bruce and dick, like you can’t tell me the batjokes isnt there to piss bruce off, courtesy of tim, or the whole scaly panties thing isn’t jason making fun of the robin uniform

AU where bruce and co. (his entire hoarde of kids, even jason in disguise) are at a gala. And it's a really big gala, party of the year type of thing in Gotham, absolutely unmissable. And usually, even the rogues know that this night is off limits, so it's relatively safe. So, they're all at this gala, right?

And then the joker crashes it because he has no respect for Gotham traditions. Breaks in through a window, yada yada. He starts to go on this whole villain speech as per usual, and everyone is waiting for the heroes to come. But all the heroes are at the gala, in their civilian identities, with a thousand eyes on them. No one can reasonably slip away, except for maybe jason, who's already seething mad and ready to attack. But with the chaos and people trying to get away, all the exits are blocked, and his helmet is at home.

Bruce is at the front of the crowd, facing the Joker. Joker sees him and makes a comment about Jason, and goes on about how Bruce must've felt when his baby died. And then he brings up how he killed the little birdie too, just a few days before the terrorist attacks that allegedly killed Jason. And he mentions how much he tortured Robin before his death, and Bruce snaps.

He leaps forward, absolutely hammering the shit out of the joker. Beats him up so bad, no finesse or technique to it, just pure rage. His kids try to pull him off, to no avail. No one else even tries. By the end of it, by the time the police arrive, the joker is more blood than body, and Bruce has finally calmed down. Everyone is just staring at him in shock, understandably. (The joker ends up in hospital, paralysed and in a coma)

His kids all drag Bruce home and give him an entire lecture about his persona and how his cover has probably been blown. About excessive violence and how he refused to kill joker but then pulled this in public?? They're all worried about the fallout in the news the next day.

No one sleeps that night, for various reasons, but then when the newspaper comes out the next morning... there's just nothing bad written?? The headline is something about Bruce being a hero for saving everyone from the joker, but there's no other mention about Batman or anything else.

Turns out, no one in Gotham is surprised that Brucie Wayne, no 1 airhead, beat up the joker because "did you SEE him as a teenager?? We were all just glad when he came from his travels pretending to be stupid instead of picking fights with everyone. If anything, it's understandable that he snapped, I would too if a clown started bragging about killing my son." The only reason no one brought up his violent past is because they were worried he would revert back to that behaviour.

Why am I not surprised

oh so we're doing scooby doo crimes now

VIGILANTES!!!!! WE WON!!!!!!!!

At Wayne mannor

Alfred: Morning everyone I have an announcement.

Bruce: Everything alright Alfred?

Alfred: Yes, I have invited the Kents to dinner in two days time.

Bruce: What...

Alfred: I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.

Tim: When you say the Kents who do you mean?

Alfred: All of them, Jonathan, Martha, Clark, Lois, Kon, Jon, Kara, Otho, and Osul.

Cassandra: How many people will be in attendance.

Alfred: 24 people in total. For our part everyone WILL attend, no excuses. That means myself, Bruce, Dick, Jason, Danny, Tim, Duke, Stephane, Barbara, Harper, Cassandra, Luke, Kate, and Damian.

Jason: This is going to be fun.

Damian: I bet $20 the house burns down by the end of the night.

Danny: I'll take you up on that.

Meanwhile at the Kent farm

Martha: Morning everyone, last night I was talking with Alfred and we've been invited to dinner at the Waynes in two days. We will all be going, no buts.

Jonathan: We expect everyone to behave.

Kon: At least one person will end up in the hospital.

Kara: I think it'll be fun.

Clark: It'll be fun to see Bruce, it's been a while since we've seen each other as civilians.

Martha: Good, now let's enjoy breakfast, there are chores to be done, and they're not going to do themselves.

Part: 13, (all parts)

Christmas at Wayne Manor is usually hectic. With various arguments about varying topics and an inevitable snowball fight that ended with the four boys being draped in blankets in front of the fire because they were all out there in nothing but sweatpants.

Between serving rounds of hot chocolate and adding new logs to the fire, Alfred would be seen cleaning up the discarded tissue paper and scraps of wrapping paper that littered the floor.

That is until the year Bruce gave each one of his children weighted blankets, and the hours which in previous years had been flooded with shouting and shivering bodies were replaced with the sound of deep breathing.

—————————————————

The lack of noise coming from the drawing room was concerning as Bruce made his way back to the room after helping Alfred finish cleaning up the wrapping paper. Alfred was currently in the kitchen beginning preparations for Christmas dinner.

As he stepped into the room, bracing himself for a snowball to the face—because there’s no other way his children would be this quiet unless they were planning a sneak attack—but was surprised to find his children weren’t scheming as he had thought. Dick was sitting in front of the couch, Tim and Stephanie leaning their heads on either of his shoulders and Damian curled up on his lap, their weighted blankets draped over each of them while Jason laid on the couch under his own blanket. All of them were asleep.

Leaning against the doorframe, Bruce crossed his arms and watched the deep breathing of his kids, the soft music coming from the record player Dick had given to Alfred floating over to him.

“I believe you made a good decision for their gifts this year, Master Bruce,” Alfred said softly, coming to a stop beside him.

Bruce smiled. “I’m afraid Jason won’t be able to keep up his promise to help you with Christmas dinner this year, Alfred.”

“That’s alright, Master Bruce,” the butler replied. “Let them sleep. I do not think any of them have gotten this much sleep in a while.”

Bruce chuckled. Between regular villains of the week and the holiday schemes from a myriad of different villains, they had all been swamped on patrol.

“I’d offer to help, but I think we both know it’s for the best that I don’t,” Bruce said.

“I appreciate the thought nonetheless,” Alfred replied.

They stood there in silence for a moment.

Then, as Alfred turned to leave, Bruce said, “Merry Christmas, Alfred.”

“Merry Christmas, Master Bruce.”