Total Shithead Andre Headcanons

Total Shithead Andre Headcanons

• Andre who invites Cal over to sleepover and then makes him sleep on the floor. Doesn’t even offer the bed

• Andre who is THE BIGGEST sweet talker, especially to Cal’s mom. Cal wants to kill him a little for it every time.

• and by extension Cal’s whole family. He’ll play games with Cal’s brother and sisters even though Cal just wants them to leave them alone, and chat with Cal’s dad about sports and politics, even though he couldn’t really care less about either. Why? No one knows, he just likes one upping Cal 😭

• Andre who’s so petty it’s unbelievable. Cal didn’t do his homework and needs answers? Good luck. Cal didn’t wake up early enough and missed his ride? Have fun walking. Cal fucked up at work? Hope he’s got a good excuse. Seriously, this man knows how to hold a grudge.

• Andre who begs Cal to come over. Why? “Just do it dude it’s important” makes Cal walk to his house, the announces that he was simply “bored” and proceeds to go back to whatever he was doing prior

• Andre who’s definitely an internet troll (regardless of lack of internet 😒) Will make multiple profiles just to spam and fuck with people he doesn’t like

• Andre who makes fun of literally everyone for literally everything, when Cal realizes later, much to his frustration, that ANDRE LIKES HALF THE THINGS HES MAKING FUN OF. Seriously, he mocked Cal for WEEKS for growing out his hair because of Kurt Cobain, why does he have a Nirvana poster on his wall???

• Andre who blatantly asked Cal why Rachel had to be there the first few times he tried to introduce them. He stopped trying pretty quickly.

• Andre who’s just a piece of shit because he wants to be and Cal doesn’t know why he puts up with this guy 😭