Before Barbenheimer, There Was “Apocalypse In Pink,” The August 1983 Theme Of Fashion/culture Magazine

in my head he's alive

‘it’s not one. there are two of them.’

strangers from hell, ep.10 || the hole by hye-young pyun

Reblog, click the picture, and prepare for battle.

Weak Hero TMI /Trivia:

Why did Seokhyeon, Hakho, and Jihoon wear yellow armbands during the funeral service?

SPOILER ALERT

TW: grief, depression, death

DISCLAIMER: I'm not Korean, just learning about their culture.

The yellow armbands around Jihoon (Jimmy), Hakho (Jake) and Seokhyeon (Kingsley)'s arms were the sign that they were the chief mourners of Baekjin (Donald)'s funeral. It means that these three were the substitutes of Baekjin's family in preparing the funeral from start to finish: the role that his absent stepfather and/or kin were supposed to carry out.

I'll try to explain to you about their responsibilities. After reading this, hopefully you'll understand why they crumbled and seemingly grew up so fast.

Seokhyeon, Hakho, and Jihoon's responsibilities as chief mourners:

NOTES:

They didn't do it simultaneously since usually there's an agreed upon division of labor among chief mourners of a funeral;

For nos. 3, 5, 6, 7 & 18, since Baekjin, Seokhyeon, Hakho and Jihoon were minors, then per Korean laws the bank accounts that they and the Union used were under their parents' names, and the legal representative was hired under their parents' names too.

Choosing and preparing Baekjin's photograph to be displayed at the funeral hall;

Sending an obituary and/or a death notification to Baekjin's school and to the Union members/related people as soon as his time of death was established;

Hiring a legal representative to be present when Baekjin's personal effects were released before his autopsy started. Since Baekjin had no immediate family and his death was from non-natural causes where autopsy is a must according to their laws.

Being on standby to receive Baekjin's personal effects from said legal representative. Note that this must've been very VERY upsetting to them since these were the things that Baekjin wore on the night of the accident. Just imagine.

Ensuring that the legal representative from no. 3 was present to receive the autopsy reports and photos on behalf of them, usually 3 days - 1 week after the autopsy was performed. The autopsy report for an accident usually look like this:

6. Calculating and paying the expenses to register for funeral, cremation and charnel house (mausoleum) services;

7. Ensuring that everything is taken care of by the funeral & cremation services from there on, including:

The issuance of Baekjin's death certificate (it usually looks like this);

The renting of mourning clothes. These clothes usually look like this (basically what we see in the funeral episodes):

The availability of a funeral hall (complete with condolence money box, incense, floral arrangements etc). The hall is usually located at the basement of the hospital where Baekjin was taken to after the accident, and arranged by the hospital's funeral services that Seokhyeon/Hakho/Jihoon hired;

The availabillity of foods and chrysanthemum flowers provided for mourners during a 3-day funeral service, because Baekjin had no female kin who oversaw this. Note that there are usually several types of foods that MUST be served in a day on tables, like this (usually the minimum is 3 menus):

The availability of a crematorium and a fixed cremation schedule;

The allotment of a charnel house (mausoleum) space for Baekjin's urn and photos, and maybe some personal belongings. Note that for Baekjin to be placed next to his mother, the chief mourners had to notify the funeral services that then notified the mausoleum in advance.

8. Spending 2 nights and 3 days in that funeral hall for a 3-day funeral service, in the same mourning clothes (if personal bellongings, these were usually later burned or shelved, never worn twice). Note that there's usually no comfortable sleeping arrangement in funeral halls, so they must've slept on the floor on hard pillows and thin blankets for 2 nights;

9. Greeting and welcoming all the mourners during the three 3-day funeral service and ensuring that they signed the guestbook. Note that mourners usually come after school/work hours from 6-11 p.m so Seokhyeon, Hakho, and Jihoon had to finish showering, eating, etc before those hours;

10. Receiving and storing the condolence money. The condolence money is usually placed in envelopes like these:

And the box where these envelopes are stored look like this:

11. Arranging with the funeral services to ensure that there was food and drink for these mourners (since Baekjin had no female immediate family);

12. Receiving any standing wreaths that might come (probably if there was one, it would only be from Yeoil High since all of Baekjin's other contacts were made in an illegal business setting). Standing wreaths are usually only sent by organizations and look like this;

13. Going to the crematorium and attending the cremation process along with select mourners;

14. Receiving Baekjin's ashes in a container (usually an urn purchased through the final services);

15. Going to the mausoleum and attending the placement of Baekjin's urn, photos and select belongings in the mausoleum/charnel house;

16. Thanking other mourners properly on behalf of Baekjin's family.

17. Counting the condolence money and deciding what to do with it afterwards other than covering the funeral costs.

18. Paying off Baekjin's personal debts and The Union's (if there was any), and dividing the remaining money and assets (probably needing to hire a legal representative again).

Honestly learning about all of this made me sympathize with Jihoon, Seokhyeon and Hakho more. I sadly realized that in a better time and a better place these three might have been real friends to Baekjin. It's not too late for the three of them yet.

general ouyang

I really do adore the kind of character who would rather make everything worse than even try to fix the problem. Yeah man, fuck communicating with your friends, blow the place to hell!!!

in short, think self diagnosis, after extensive research, is valid.

not everyone have access to medical professionals. not everyone have access to competent quality medical professionals. not everyone can afford. medical trauma & medical neglect exist. misdiagnosis exist. medical racism sexism misogyny. etc.

though. to add some nuance: (i am specifically addressing autism but probably applies to most self diagnosis)

1. sites like tiktok and tumblr provide important lived experience lens that hard to find any other place. often play huge part in journey! but tiktok and tumblr should not be only place you do research for self diagnosis.

further, watching one tiktok or one tumblr post is not enough for self diagnosis. know most people who self diagnose isn’t doing this, but do see some people do this.

2. there are late diagnosed autistic people with higher support needs. there are late diagnosed autistic people who are visibly developmentally disabled but their other I/DD diagnosis covered over their autism. etc.

having said that though. overwhelming majority of autistic who self diagnose who are late diagnosed. have lower support needs, are high masking, less visibly autistic. most of them lived their life in nondisabled neurotypical society, mainstreamed, go to typical school, get job, maybe job after job after job fired quit fired again—often forced to be this way, not given choice. which is all distressing. have grief about not being noticed as autistic earlier.

but. you need to know that there are early diagnosed autistic folks, some of them high support needs and/or nonspeaking minimally speaking, some of them who put in special ed, go to “special” schools, who have high support needs, who can’t or not allowed to live independently, who needs full physical assistance with bADLs, who can’t keep own basic safety, who will never able to hold typical job, etc etc… they are still autistic. just because you have trauma about being late diagnosed late identified doesn’t mean for them early diagnosis is a abuse free blessing.

early diagnosed, visibly developmentally disabled people like these often face the blunt of the violence. they are one of the most marginalized groups in our community.

some late diagnosed autistics hold privilege over some early diagnosed autistics. (note i say some—late diagnosis early diagnosis not monolith experiences.)

3. just because you are, say, autistic, doesn’t mean right this second you should be an autistic advocate, or right this second you’re qualified to. i believe all autistic people have important meaningful thing to say about own experience with autism. but being an advocate involves so much more than that.

being advocate involves constant learning, especially from people more marginalized than you and people not similar to you.

being advocate means constant self reflection, means reflect on own privilege and oppression, means reflect on own internalized ableism internalized racism, etc.

being advocate means learning to decenter self, learning how to hold space for others, learning how to apologize and take accountability.

being advocate means learning how to listen.

being advocate means learning how to take responsibility.

being an advocate means addressing own trauma and not project trauma onto others, especially other more marginalized groups.

being an advocate means acknowledging nuance.

newly realized autistics, newly self diagnosed autistics, newly professionally diagnosed autistics (who didn’t know they autistic before professional diagnosis), they all have important place in autistic community and autistic conversations. but being new to this means you have so much more to learn. and you need to learn how to do more good than harm when share own experience and do own advocacy.

4. there is a world of autism experiences beyond your own. listen to them, too.

with all that said. self diagnosis, after extensive research, is valid.

losing the IDGAF war so badly

the cutest pair

BREAKING MY HIATUS JUST TO SHOVE THIS IN YOUR FACES like they're so cute I don't think you understand !!

Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you're helpfully like "oh yeah don't drink the tap water, it's got stuff in it that makes you sick" and then your neighbor you've had forever goes "oh they took the stuff out actually" and you're like "what? when was this?"

"like two years ago"

"you mean i could've been drinking the tap water all this time?"

"yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don't have to dig through the communal bin anymore"

"are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know"

and the new tennant is like "why did you guys even live here if it was so bad"

"we like it."

"I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho"