It Was Strange, Knowing She Was A Mother But Not Being A Mother, Something Julia Struggled With On Her

“I probably wouldn’t like to be shut in a cage only to be let out when I get to a doctor, and I’d know, I’m literally a doctor I know the terrible people we really are.” Julia gave Zahra a small smile, because she wasn’t exaggerating. She knew what they did was to help but sometimes the invasive ways they were forced to do it in order to get the best results. “It’s honestly very adorable, it is always a pick me up when I feel like everything is getting on top of me a bit too much. I’m not a big instagram person but I can’t deny that it has its positive sides.” A small shrug, her follow list was selective for that exact reason. 

Waiting patiently, and quietly, for the other to finish returning her books she gave the librarian a polite smile before turning towards the direction of the section she had specifically come for. “Well…there is a lot of information involved that’s for sure. I’ve been doing it for ten years and there is still so much I need to learn. Not to mention look up specifically when the medical issue arises.” Motioning to exactly what they were doing right now as they headed up the steps to the second floor of the library. “Did you ever have ambitions to follow any other kind of career path rather than the one you’ve gone with?” She asked with genuine interest. She'd been forced into hers, but so many others got the luxury of choosing. @ofzahras

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It'd be way easier than trying to trick her into her carrier and then try and carry her around. She does not like it one bit and I can't blame her." Despite her efforts, Circe despised the very sight of her carrier and would run and hide the moment Zahra pulled it out. She had of course splurged on the nicest, most comfortable one on the market but Circe did not seem to appreciate the luxury and would've most likely preferred to be carried in a food delivery bag. Her eyes grew wide as Julia described the account she had found. A delighted burst of laughter. "Really? I definitely need to check that out. Sounds like a dream, just a guy and his cat riding a bike."

Returning the books was blessedly an easy ordeal, and Zahra could at least congratulate herself on getting the haul back before any late fees had managed to materialise. She had managed to accomplish something that day and felt better for it. "Oh, I don't know. I love a good fun fact or a useless piece of information but medicine? Don't think I have the brain capacity for that." That being said, she was always eager to learn new things and could imagine far worse ways to spend an afternoon. "Lead the way."

Julia was well versed in talking to parents about the patterns their babies might fall into depending on outside influences, but right now she was just imparting the most generic for Elliot meaning there was every chance the timeframe could be wrong. “Well, that’s a generalisation, every baby is different.” She attempted to reassure him with a soft, encouraging smile. At his return comment she couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing full well the thing she didn’t often do was lie to preserve a parents feelings because that was a recipe for disaster in the field. If she lied then that would cause chaos with their preparation with what was to come. “I hate to break it to you, but I’d be breaking my oath as a doctor if I told you otherwise, I don’t want to give you a reason to come back to me in a week threatening a lawsuit from misinformation.” She nodded, a half shrug thrown into the mix as well. “Well if there is one thing you can count your blessings for it’s that once she falls asleep a sudden accidental loud noise isn’t going to wake her up. The amount of parents I have bickering in front of me about how one dropped something and woke the baby up…it’s a long list.” @elliot-appsley

A soft smile graced his lips as he watched Julia's hands, not even minding when she got some of the words mixed up with other signs. Pretty sure that he was still getting the gist of what she was trying to ell him. So he gave a nod of his head in encouragement before his eyes switched over to reading what she had typed down afterwards. As he did so, Elliot made a slight face over at Julia. "Months?" He signed with a raise of his eyebrows, pausing for a moment as he grabbed for his food and took a small bite of it. This time reaching for his own phone as well. See, this is where you were one hundred percent supposed to lie and say only a few days or something. Not months. Letting out a laugh as he turned the phone back towards her before he added more. That's what I sort of figured though, that it was just one of the joys of having a baby. She's just done so well with sleeping that I guess it threw me off when she started having some rough nights. @doctorjuliasato

“You didn’t read them?” Julia had a surprised look on her face but she really shouldn’t be because that was the pot very much calling the kettle black. The amount of books she’d borrowed from libraries in the past but not even opened was numerous, and it wasn’t because she didn’t have good intentions when she got them. Simply that life tended to get in the way, especially if they were fiction books rather than something attributed to medicine or something she was specifically working on. Sensing the uncertainty coming from her she nodded in agreement instead of prying further, giving the other a small smile. “I’m sure - I head that is quite common among writers.” She doubted parroting that would be of any reassurance but it happened anyway. “Would you look at that, I think we’ve decided what your next purchase is going to be. Some call it a grocery bag, you call it a Circe bag. It’s flexible for ones needs.” 

A shrug of her shoulders in regards to what she was specifically looking for, pressing her lips together silently for a second. “There is a case I’m working on at the moment is a child with Adrenoleukodystrophy, it’s not something I’ve personally worked with before so although I know the facts from medical school I wanted to come and do some more reading on it incase there is anything I’ve missed. Are you staying a while?” She asked, referring to the library. @ofzahras

"I guess you're partially right. I just wish I had actually read these instead of just hauling them home and now bringing them right back." Obviously no one knew - or cared - that she hadn't even cracked open most of the books, but the shame was palpable nonetheless. The shame seemed to be her constant companion, increasingly so ever since her brain had decided it no longer wanted to partake in any additional reading or writing. The feeling only grew as she thought about future deadlines and word counts, the threat of falling behind making her sick to her stomach. "I am sure it's just a writer's block," she muttered, mostly to herself, before snorting in amusement. "See, I like where your head's at. I could smuggle Circe everywhere and become the ultimate cat lady."

A realisation lit up Zahra's face as Julia admitted she was only heading in. She laughed, shaking her head softly. "Ah, there you go. It's good to know some things don't change. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

Julia nodded at the mention of not thinking about actually working here, but the sad reality was a lot of their patients were here for a while - and there would be something to be said for them being able to have help with their schoolwork from a friendly face. “You can of course leave them around for parents who are just bringing their children in for outpatient treatment or shorter stays, but if you were up for doing some work with out more long term patients that would also be an attractive prospect for us.” It was true their parents were dealing with big hospital bills (something Julia took great issue with but had no control over) but at the same time she didn’t feel right in this woman not getting paid either. “Well perhaps there is some way we could work out a reduced rate for patients, after all it’s not fair that you don’t get paid for your work.” 

“Charlie, lovely to meet you, I’m Doctor Julia Sato.” Glancing down at the pamphlet where sure enough it stated Charlie’s name where she pointed. As for the anxiety it was understandable, a lot of people found hospitals anxiety inducing, which is why she gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “It’s understandable, but there is really no need to be anxious. I know hospitals can be stressful but I promise we don’t bite.” @callmecharliejones

"I do up to ages about, um ten? eleven? and I... actually haven't thought about working here." Charlie said nodding at the doctor curiously but of course kids that had long stays at the hospital might need some help keeping up with school. Even though they shouldn't, they probably had enough to deal with if they were ill. "Oh but I can't possibly charge for that, honestly. That'd be heartless, right? They're ill, their parents probably have too much on their mind already." She pouted to herself, already feeling sad about the whole situation but wanting to do it anyway.

She looked up at the other and gave her a small smile. "Sorry, I'm Charlie." She pointed at the pamphlet in the doctor's hand. "And I'm way too sensitive and terrible with hospitals. And when I'm anxious, I can't stop talking. Nice to meet you."

Julia Sato - Rowan Evans - Collins Appsley

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“I guess so, but with the amazing technology these days that can help a ship navigate the chances of them going all Titanic are minimal. So I’d argue in favour of the wind farms but … well I’m not an expert on either thing.” She could hear how she herself was starting to get dry, she could bore people if she wasn’t careful which was why she quickly shut her mouth, happy for the reason to pivot the conversation. 

“Maybe.” She smiled softly, picking up her bag before starting back towards the stands that were selling various food and drink. Feet sinking into the sand with each step. “I like it out here…it feels calming, detached from the city.” Julia mused. @tctteredwings

Ana shrugged it off, she really was the last person to care about someone rambling —- in fact, most of the time she'd be the first one to encourage it. Still, as far as she was concerned, it really didn't matter in the slightest. "Depends on the day," she responded with a laugh. "But, I mean, lighthouses are practical, they do have a purpose, even if it's not quite so helpful these days in comparison." A shrug followed and her gaze drifted out to sea for a moment.

As Julia got to her feet, she was quick to gather her things back up, and then followed suit. "Probably should have thought of this before we got settled," she laughed.

Julia adored babies, of course she did otherwise she wouldn’t be doing the job she did, but spending time with a healthy one felt like a luxury she was rarely afforded. After all when they came into the ICU it wasn’t because they just fancied some extra tummy time. At the invitation from Elliot to hang out with him she’d jumped at the chance on her day off, glad the sun had decided to come out as well for them all. Not wanting to creep up on him in a way that might scare him or the baby she waited until Elliot looked her way before waving, heading in there direction. “Hey! Look how cute you guys look. Hey sweetheart, aren’t you getting big!” She beamed at the baby while trying to do the best sign language she could, unsure if it had actually made sense or not but hoping for the best.  @elliot-appsley

@doctorjuliasato Central Park

As excited as he was to enter a new season of life with Sawyer, to watch her experience her first Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, Elliot wasn't prepared for the cold weather that came with it. It was the one thing he hated about New York, the blistering cold. So he was trying to make use of the warm days on his days off, to get outside with his daughter as much as he could. Which is how he found himself sprawled on a picnic blanket in the middle of Central Park. Laying flat on his back, raising the baby up into the air above him, laughing as he watched the pure happiness on her little face. Still unable to believe that she was his, that he was a dad. As he brought her back down, supporting her on his chest he turned his head to the side, catching Julia not too far away from the two of them. Giving her a wide and warm grin in greeting.

“You didn’t want to just focus on one of them to really hone your skills?” It wasn’t intended as a pointed or rude question, sometimes Julia could just be a little intense in how direct she was with her words. Maybe that was thanks to being a doctor, time wasting wasn’t something she had…well ‘time’ for. “Do you often get days off?” She asked with light interest. She herself got shifts off, but days off were a little more rare because it was in her nature to want to work as much as humanly possible. It kept her brain busy which was a relief, plus if she wasn’t she’d just be thinking about her patients anyway. @infragilehearts

——- ❝ I had both skills and doing both is kinda nice. ❞ truly, valerie was just lost in work. she kept her mind at ease and she didn't even think of her life much since before moving to new york now. it was better for her mentally to a point — but one day, she would have to face it — deal with it and move forward with her life properly. for now, this worked. finding someone to talk to about things did really bring a light to her she hadn't had in a while, so the company was nice. ❝ yes — i do ! i work between retro and diner. my days off then become the much needed relax and recharge needed to work again. ❞

“Oh well that makes sense, especially in New York I guess. I’m not sure how many cabs would let you in with a cat on the loose so at least with her in a pram thing you can just walk there or get the underground.” If it wasn’t raining and Julia was in that position she would one hundred percent walk so as to avoid the hell of New York’s subway. Useful, sure. Pleasant? Never. “She’d be meowing at everyone you walk past. I was on instagram the other day doomscrolling because I couldn’t sleep and this account came up about this guy who rides around with his cat in the basket of his bicycle. This fluffy white thing that just sits there and looks around - it was actually kind of adorable in a wildly impractical way.” 

Following the other towards the returns she listened as she spoke about not being tempted to pick up any medical books, understanding the concept of having different interests but the idea of walking into that section of a library without taking something home with you entirely alien to her. “I’m sure you would understand more than you give yourself credit for. I mean of course the terms are complex if you don’t know what they mean I guess - that is quite specific. Plus when they delve into more detailed specifications…” She trailed off, putting the bag of books down onto the floor once they arrived at the returns desk. @ofzahras

It was a relief how Julia seemed to understand exactly what she was going through and didn't ask any awkward follow up questions. Their careers were evidently very different but there were similarities as well. The constant need to learn more and keep researching even when that was the last thing you wanted to do. Zahra truly appreciated Julia's company in that moment, glad she had ran into her.

"Oh yeah. I thought it would be useful if I had to take her to the vet or something. She's not the smallest of cats so carrying her isn't exactly fun," she explained. Her face seemed to lit up as she talked about Circe and the corners of the mouth twitched towards a smile. "But I've been too embarrassed to use it. She's real loud, too, so I'm sure no one would think I had an actual baby in there." That being said, Zahra would undoubtedly change her mind the moment she saw someone else prancing around with their cat in a stroller.

She nodded eagerly, clearly delighted by the prospect of accomplishing something small yet meaningful. "Absolutely. Sounds good," she agreed, already heading towards the returns. "It's ideal, really. I doubt I will be too tempted to pick up any medical books. Wouldn't understand most of it. The Latin and Greek I studied wouldn't get me very far with those terms."

Julia had her head buried in her phone as she tried to catch up on text messages she’d ignored over the last few shifts, though the lucky thing about having very few friends to speak of was there weren’t that many to answer anyway. Jumping slightly as the box was thrust out towards her because she hadn’t realised Daniel was so close to the door. Laughing a bit she put her hand to her chest illustrating the fright, taking a breath. “Oh my god, you’re going to give me a heart attack. Then you’d be dealing with me in the ER.” Quickly lifting the lid of the box to cast her eye over the amazing selection of baked goods, feeling her stomach grumble as she remembered she hadn’t actually eaten since long before they’d set said fracture. “Yes…yes I really want to do that a lot. Also thanks for saving me some, you didn’t have to do that.” She really was touched and made a mental note to pay for the coffee to further illustrate her thanks. “Inkwells? I can’t drink anymore of the cafeteria coffee today.”  @dannyhq

for: @doctorjuliasato where: pediatric ward

small box cradled carefully to his chest ( it was very precious cargo, after all ) daniel leaned casually against the wall as he waited for julia to reappear ready to go home. when she finally did, he sprung into action, holding out the box for her to see before he began explaining. "so... you know the cute kiddo with the wrist fracture we saw earlier? well, turns out his mom owns a bakery and she brought us literally tons of stuff as a thanks for lookin' after him today. everyone in the er's had their pick and i didn't want you to miss out. 'specially 'cause you were so great," a slightly mischevious smile blossomed. "and i'm not leavin' this stuff for the next shift. so. you wanna grab a coffee and clean this box the hell out?"