One Of The Greatest Pleasures Known To Man Is Getting To Ignore Emails

Not to be a Victorian woman, but I think a long trip to the sea side would fix me

I litteraly got a B+, life is good

Every time I bomb a math test I consider suicide

me and the no one i pulled by doing nothing

The fact that people don't think friendship is enough to justify characters doing insane acts of love for each other baffles me. Like have you never loved your friend so so much you want to live in their ribcage. Have you never been really weird about a friend. Have you never wanted to bite your friends parents or shove them down a staircase. Have you never wanted to be buried in the same grave as a friend. Have u never. How do u people live like this.

keep forgetting this isn't a private blog...like oh..i've been perceived...

Having permanently injured shoulders as a rock climber sucks and all, but I can make incredibly entertaining noises with them, so that's a plus

I love STEM so much, but by God I cannot hold back my want to create and experience art

Okay, I have some ranting to do. I am a STEM student, I'm going into engineering in the future, but because I'm still in school, I'm exposed to soamy different fields, and some friends of mine convinced me to do theater next year, and it sparked this thought.

I used to do art all the time, and now I feel so disconnected, it's like once you decide you want to go into a STEM field you aren't allowed to be artistic any more which is so fucking stupid. The point of Engineering at least is to be creative and to solve issues, and you cannot fill that if you have no connection to your own creative side through some kind of art.I am being a bit dramatic, but it's so dumb to shun STEM students away from art, we want to create any way we can,and yet are constantly told to channel that into more math and science, instead of being allowed to take a pause and just have fun with our creativity.

Obviously I can't really make a living off of art, but I think if I didn't have to worry about money in the future, I would simply spend all my time doing whatever art sparks interest. But instead I have had to make peace with the fact that if I want to have a stable source of income, and not want to kill myself, I would have to go into STEM and leave my love for art behind.

And that is a truly horrible thing

Like yeah I'm a freak, but I'm a freak who wants to be loved for the small things about her

Random revelation that I just had, the way I desire love is kind of odd, obviously people want different things in life, but something just clicked for me (because of a goddamn ao3 fic mind you). I want someone who will meet me in the middle of knowing the small things about me, and love me for them. I want someone who knows my favorite texture, and my favorite food, I want someone to know how I like my eggs, and have an analysis on my day to day behavior that originated from observational love, I want someone to want to be ingrained into my life just as I am in theirs. Sometimes I worry that I'm weird for wanting someone I feel comfortable enough to do certain things with, as if maybe I only want them for nefarious purposes (hey look, a vocab word), but I know, I truly just want someone to love me romantically for the small things about me, not just what I can provide.

I think people's ideas of romance are so ingrained with sexual desires that it's hard for me to get people to understand that I also want someone who wants me for me, not just for fun.