Suggestions For Gender Neutral Version Of Mom/dad? Something Less Formal Than Just ‘parent’

This is ridiculous! I don't know what's on!

dr who’s on first, doctor strange is on second and doctor house is on third. theres no way theyre getting through a single inning

dreams

Something I find incredibly cool is that they’ve found neandertal bone tools made from polished rib bones, and they couldn’t figure out what they were for for the life of them. 

Until, of course, they showed it to a traditional leatherworker and she took one look at it and said “Oh yeah sure that’s a leather burnisher, you use it to close the pores of leather and work oil into the hide to make it waterproof. Mine looks just the same.” 

“Wait you’re still using the exact same fucking thing 50,000 years later???”

“Well, yeah. We’ve tried other things. Metal scratches up and damages the hide. Wood splinters and wears out. Bone lasts forever and gives the best polish. There are new, cheaper plastic ones, but they crack and break after a couple years. A bone polisher is nearly indestructible, and only gets better with age. The more you use a bone polisher the better it works.”

It’s just. 

50,000 years. 50,000. And over that huge arc of time, we’ve been quietly using the exact same thing, unchanged, because we simply haven’t found anything better to do the job. 

And here's my attempt. It's the first story I've put on here, hope you like it.

The first sign something read wrong was the fuel pressure warning light. Pressure was dropping in the main tanks.

"Stax, the fuel pressure is dropping!" Shouted the pilot to the captain. Both were aliens from very dangerous death worlds, so every action was planned and contingencies planned. This was evolved into their species because failure to do so in their planet was generally fatal.

"We filled up at the last port." Freya, one of the ships humans informed the captain. She handled logistics and had overseen the purchase of fuel herself.

The captain, remained calm as they had a contingency for low fuel pressure, and that was to check the levels, and re pressurise the tanks. They were only staying on the same planet to sell the rest of their cargo on a different continent. Their plans included another refill stop if needed there.

"Follow the procedure. What are the current levels, Tovrio?".

The pilot checked the dials, but each time the number dropped so they couldn't get a reading.

This was something that wasn't planned for. They were actively losing fuel so fast they wouldn't make it to the next stop.

The pilot started to panic and yelled something incoherent at the captain. At this point, George the only other human on board walked in and asked what the fuss was. Add they were out of contingencies the captain told him what the situation was, then told them all what an honour it had been to fly with them all.

"Wait, you're giving up?!" Was the incredulous response. "Let me see what the problem is." And marched off. The captain made a final announcement telling the test of the alien crew that they were out of contingency plans and that they were losing fuel and wouldn't make it to their destination.

Freya had worked with a human logistics company back on Earth and this was not a dire emergency. Nothing that bad happened ever. She had no idea of course of the relative safety of Earth. Here there were many places where you couldn't even breath the air, and every creature was so heightened in their competitive survival instinct that they could kill you in an instant.

However, not knowing these details did the Humans a favour. George had already found the problem, sabotage by bots planted in the fuel that had gathered together and ruptured the tank after they'd left (knowing that the final checks would be done and they would be discovered if they activated before).

There was no official replacement and you needed to empty the tank before welding. So he got creative and solved the problem with some spare rubber from the bedding and air tight tape which wouldn't survive contact with the fuel but he only stuck it to the rubber.

Having stabilised the immediate problem, he informed Freya who was by then the only coherent person on the bridge. She took over flight controls and guided them gently to am unplanned stop where she'd heard fuel and propper repairs were available.

Captain Stax found this unbelievable. Thinking on their feet was not a strong point and they just stared in disbelief as the Homans just continued in the face of near certain death. Then they nearly collapsed when the problems had been solved. Both humans got a special recognition from the merchant fleet admiral and a new contingency of always having a human on board was formed.

Thus humans became one of the most well travelled species due to their adaptability and creativity in difficult situations.

Alternate take to the "earth is a death world". What if earth is one of the safest worlds out there?

This could cause the aliens to all have an extremely organised and well planned nature. If something isn't fully planned with contingencies, they just don't survive.

Humans ability to 'just wing it' is unusual and a little concerning. Similarly the human nature to attempt to make friends with local creatures is seen as near suicide to the aliens.

Story to come, just wanted to get the concept written and remembered.

Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just: Here's a funny little joke Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept Here's a unique and well written simile Here's a lil guy Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!

Pretty sure kangaroos can have one in the uterus another tiny, blind one permanently attached to a nipple in the pouch and another bigger one that is mostly in the pouch. Not 100% sure of the details but they can have multiple babies at multiple ages.

Concept: cursed blade rehabilitation center. Destroying a sentient weapon is expensive and highly unethical, so adventurers bring them to the center where highly trained staff can care for them and eventually find them forever homes. It turns out most cursed weapons are products of trauma and are not strictly evil themselves. Some blades turn out to be fiercely protective companions. Others don't even want to be weapons at all, finding joy in simple work like blacksmithing or farming. Most blades just need to be loved.

Humans are weird: Their pound of flesh

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

“What is this all about? Why am I here?”

Prince Atalon was not accustomed to being ordered about, even less so by lower-class military generals. Yet here he was inside the command bunker of General Drak after his security detail whisked him away out of the blue.

“My apologies Prince, but I have just received troubling reports that your life is now in danger.”

This certainly wasn’t what the prince had been expecting, and he took the offered chair to sit as the general continued.

“Before I proceed, I need to ask you a question,” the general began. “Have you encountered any strange creatures, either in our quarter of the base or when touring our allies' quarters?”

“What nonsense is this?” Atalon pouted. “You say my life is in danger and then ask me about what wildlife I’ve seen?!”

“I assure you my prince, the question is related, now please answer it.”

The stern look of the general dissuaded the notion that this was some prank and so Atalon pondered in silence as he recalled his last few days.

“I spent the first three days in our section of the base meeting with soldiers in the hospital, then the fourth day was spent visiting the frontlines, and then finally the fifth day I returned here.”

“And did you encounter any strange creatures?”

“Well,” the prince replied as something did finally come to him, “on the way back my convoy drove past a group of humans being chased by a large avian bird. It came up to about their waist but the humans seemed terrified as they were running away and it was chasing it.”

“And what did you do?” the general inquired.

“I felt ashamed that such cowardly beings were our allies so I ordered the vehicle’s AI defense unit to terminate the creature and save the humans.”

“It put a plasma round clear through the creatures chest and it dropped to the ground soon after. It was so fast we didn’t even have time to stop and receive their accolades.” The prince answered with a cocky grin.

Several expressions passed over the Malin general’s face at this admission; shock, fear, regret, disbelief, and then finally, resolution.

“This was transmitted to me within the last hour.” The general continued as they spun a data pad around for the prince to see. “It is an order issued for your immediate detainment and extradition back to the human homeworld to face the charges of murder, assassination of a high ranking military official, espionage, and treason to name a few.”

“WHAT?!”

To say that the prince was dumbfounded would be an understatement.

“That avian you killed,” the general continued to delay any inevitable deluge of questions, “was in fact a Major General enlisted in the human forces here on base.”

Spinning the data pad around again the general scrolled through the information to find the correct designation. “The 304th Grenadiers were assigned as their protection detail and were the humans you saw with it.”

He looked up at the prince. “They weren’t running in fear, they were playing with them.”

“Do you not hear yourself!? The absurdity of this!?!!”

The general shook his head at the prince’s question. “It doesn’t matter how stupid this situation is, the matter of fact is the human’s take this extremely seriously that if you are caught by the humans outside of our quarter you will most likely be killed.”

“They would murder me over a primitive bird?!” the prince stammered.

Without saying anything the general selected an audio file from the pad and played it.

“You listen and you listen good,” the voice began. The prince could identify the thick grunge of a human voice and accent. “That bird your callus fuck murder has survived thirteen campaigns, and their family another three hundred and seventy three without ever losing one of their number in the field of combat until now.”

The prince made to say something but the general held up a hand and bade them to continue listening.

“The way we see it is you just offed one of our own, and you better pray that the provosts get you first and get you off world to hang; because if we get you there won’t be enough of you lift to identify by.”

With that the ominous message ended and the general looked up at the prince.

“You now understand the seriousness of this situation I hope.” He returned the data pad to his desk and clasped his taloned fingers. “There are over six thousand human soldiers part of our task force here and this message could have been sent by any of them, meaning there are now over six thousand veteran soldiers who have a potential death mark for you.”

He leaned forward to the prince, his expression removed of any levity for the situation.

“If you wish to remain alive until their provosts come for you I strongly advise you remain here and avoid any exposure outside what-so-ever; is that understood?”

“And if I refuse?” the prince asked; clinging to the notion that their position would keep them safe.

The general was about to answer when a loud chanting began echoing from outside and into the bunker. Tapping his ear piece the general asked for a status update and waited patiently as the response came in.

“Then you will not last the night, as it seems they’re already outside with a noose to hang you with.”

harry potter is STILL a trending topic meanwhile trans women are not legally protected as women under gender equality in the UK, in no small part due to JKR's massive terf influence and active monetary donations to anti trans causes. if you still actively support JKR, hp, even just liking the characters, fuck you. i have absolutely no respect for you.