Hey Girl

I spoke to the moon and she already knew all about you. She said my heart beats to the same rhythm as yours btw.

yall knew it was only a matter of time 🤡💀

Hmmmm

Does anyone else think that Simon would be a pussy slapper? Not like too hard, but like softer slaps right to the clit to get the reader to squirt quicker? Just enough to make her whimper or gasp at the feeling?

And then like

Konig will literally slap your pussy like it owes him money? Like it doesn't even matter if it's punishment or not, dudes gonna bruise it.

I'm also on the fence that Konigs is one of those dudes that will tie you up, then literally fist you.

And I'm not talking gently either. Like dudes up in there looking for your lucky charms type of fisting.

I was thinking about the whole “Humans are space orcs thing” and I got an idea.

Imagine than in far future, humans are part of some king of intergalactic union with other species, but other species only became advanced enough for space travel after they kind of “outgrown” the “animal part” of their brain. You know they became these highly intelligent very rational beings. And they put their effort to creating better tech after that.

While humans got to the same level just by their sheer stubbornness (you know, our need to figure out if we could and not if we should). Like we just kept going and somehow got to the same level as these other beings.

Humans would be the only intergalactic species that can go insane very easily, that is at war with other people of their own species, Earth is the only “advanced planet” where irrational violent crimes still happen, where people are able to hurt eachother over the smallest things.

So (from the aliens POV) you would have this odd little fella, who’s as intelligent as you are but the second he doesn’t get good sleep all of his intelligence seemingly disappears and he looks like he’s ready to shoot everyone on the space ship and then himself.

But it would probably also mean that humans have the best art. Because they still have their impulses and deep desires that don’t make sense. Since art can’t be made completely rationally. (Or at least great art imo, you still need the emotions in that to make it stand out.)

So I imagine this alien on a mission with their human copilot and the alien is constantly asking the human to connect his fkin Spotify to the space ship speakers cos they really want to listen to fkin Rasputin from Boney M.

I NEED SOMEONE TO BE MY PLATONIC ROOMMATE TO HAVE AN INCREDIBLY DEEP CONNECTION WITH IN NO WAY ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL TO BE ABLE TO RELY ON BOTH THE HIGHEST HIGHS AND LOWEST LOWS, TO BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE LIFE WITH ANOTHER PERSON, SHARE THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS, BE ABLE TO BOTHER AND CARE FOR SOMEONE, FULLY RELAX IN THE PRESENCE OF, HAVE AFFECTIONATE MOMENTS WITHOUT TENSION, RECIEVE COMFORT, GIVE ATTENTION, DO FUN AND WACKY ACTIVITIES, GET INTO STRANGE SCENARIOS, AND TO GET INTO A SOFT BANTER IN THE LATE EVENING AS WE TALK THROUGH OUR DAYS AND WHAT THE NEXT ONE MAY FORTALE AS WE SOFTLY LAUGH AND MELT WITHIN EACHOTHERS PRESENCE AND NOBODY EVEN FOR A SPLIT SECOND CONSIDERS US TO BE PARTNERS AND YET WE’RE CLOSER THAN ANY DUO THERE WERE TO EVER EXIST!

FUCK MORTY AND RICK OR GLAM AND CHES, I WANT WHAT SHERLOCK AND WATSON HAVE - A DEEP BOND WITHOUT NO MORE REASON RATHER THAN BEING JUST PERFECT FOR EACHOTHER, FIND PARTS OF YOURSELF IN THE OTHER WHILE THE THINGS YOU LIKE THE OTHER BRINGS TO THE CONVERSATION AND SITUATIONSHIP.

PLEASE REALISE THIS ISNT A NEED FOR A FOUND FAMILY NOR A LITTLE COWORKER WITHIN MY HOME BUT A PROPER EXTENSION OF THE HEART INTO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!!!!

TO BE ABLE TO BE VULNERABLE, A BITCH, AN ABSOLUTE UNPREDICTABLE MESS, A TERRIBLE MAN, A HORRIBLE WOMAN, AN INSANE DOG, AN OVERLY GIDDY CHILD, AND MUCH MUCH MORE WITH THE OTHER SIMPLY UNDERSTANDING.

UNDERSTANDING IT ALL. THE WHYS AND HOWS AND WHAT TO DO. JUST.. BEING THERE, ALL CHILL, AND ABLE TO BE READY FOR ANY AND ALL SITUATIONS AS WE EMBARK ON DELIGHTFUL ADVENTURES!!

There's the urban legend that some japanese companies will hire a "loud American." A person who is just there to voice complaints to the boss when others cant.

I had an idea today that alien ships might hire "The Human!" A person who is just there to just stand there and looks like the be the big, tough, indestructible threat of a being that the galaxy knows humans are.

Doesnt matter who the human is. Big or small, male or female, a tough soldier or more gentle than a newborn. They just have to be present and let the reputation of humans speak for itself.

Is the captain trying to enforce an unpopular regulation on the crew? Ask The Human to have a private meeting and voice the complaints.

Trying to sell some goods but the buyer wants to renegotiate the price to be more unfair to you? Ask The Human to be there at the negotiating table.

That jerk at the bar keeps pestering you with their mating display, because they want to be the one to fertilize your eggs wont take no for an answer? Ask The Human to escort you back to your quarters.

Not sure if the neighborhood where you're making the delivery is a safe one? Just ask that lovely human if they wouldnt mind putting down their crochet and coming with you. They might be extra thrilled if you mention they could take their pet with them, for a walk.

I will stoop to subscribing to his onlyfans if that ghost cosplayer makes one. Everyone please avert your gaze during this trying time, this is a new low for me

୭ ✧ ˚ Cardamon agere nighttime edit .  ᵎᵎ