The Dichotomy Of Girlhood

starting the new year off right with my one and only boyfailure wife loml

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

April 3, 2024. Journalist Zuher Dahlan was passing out candy and saw a little girl start crying. He asked her why she was crying and found out that he resembles her father, who has been missing since they left the north of Gaza.

I like to think that one of the lessons Aizawa taught class A is "always have a knife".

You never know when you'll need a knife so never not be in possession of a knife. As such every member of class A has a knife hidden somewhere in their hero costumes. His gift to them when they graduated were custom engraved knives with their student number on them.

Not on board? Ok. Just imagine how funny it would be tho.

Villain: "Number one hero Deku! I am punch proof! The more you hit me the stronger I get! How will you defeat me now-"

Midoriya: "Knife."

Villain: "Wha-" *gets stabbed*

Midoriya: "Knife."

Hero: "Oh no! We're tied up! However will we escape!"

Tsuyu: "Knife."

Hero: "What?"

Tsuyu, pulling a knife off the bottom of her foot with her tongue: "Knife."

Groupie getting a hug: "Are you using your quirk or are you just happy to see me?"

Kirishima: "It's a knife."

Groupie: "...What?"

Kirishima: "Knife."

Villain, completely insulated in rubber: "You're a one trick pony chargebolt."

Kaminari, reaching down into his boot: "Oh boy are you wrong my dude!"

Hero: "You need to calm down."

Bakugou, reaching down into his V-neck: "Listen here you son of a BITCH-"

Hero: "WHY DO YOU HAVE A KNIFE!?"

Kouda: "Stop scaring the pigeons! They're a domesticated species that we abandoned back into the wild. They're sweet creatures who are pets by nature!"

Douchebag: "Or what?"

Kouda: "..."

Douchebag: "..."

Kouda: "..."

Douchebag: "oh my GOD HE HAS A KNIFE-"

I swear I get sad if I wake up and one is on the floor

I was thinking about the whole “Humans are space orcs thing” and I got an idea.

Imagine than in far future, humans are part of some king of intergalactic union with other species, but other species only became advanced enough for space travel after they kind of “outgrown” the “animal part” of their brain. You know they became these highly intelligent very rational beings. And they put their effort to creating better tech after that.

While humans got to the same level just by their sheer stubbornness (you know, our need to figure out if we could and not if we should). Like we just kept going and somehow got to the same level as these other beings.

Humans would be the only intergalactic species that can go insane very easily, that is at war with other people of their own species, Earth is the only “advanced planet” where irrational violent crimes still happen, where people are able to hurt eachother over the smallest things.

So (from the aliens POV) you would have this odd little fella, who’s as intelligent as you are but the second he doesn’t get good sleep all of his intelligence seemingly disappears and he looks like he’s ready to shoot everyone on the space ship and then himself.

But it would probably also mean that humans have the best art. Because they still have their impulses and deep desires that don’t make sense. Since art can’t be made completely rationally. (Or at least great art imo, you still need the emotions in that to make it stand out.)

So I imagine this alien on a mission with their human copilot and the alien is constantly asking the human to connect his fkin Spotify to the space ship speakers cos they really want to listen to fkin Rasputin from Boney M.

⚠️❗️VERY IMPORTANT POST, PLEASE READ!❗️⚠️

everyone. on christmas day, december 25th, we all search up “halloween” to make it a trending search. it would be the FUNNIEST thing ever to see halloween be a trending search on christmas day. tell all your friends, repost this, do everything you can to make sure we can do this. REBLOG AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

Small General Obey Me Headcanons

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Simeon, Solomon, Diavolo and Barbatos

CW: A bit angsty in each person's parts, nothing too severe, relationships are kept neutral.

Authors Note: I believe I've seen a few of these prior and just absorbed them without realizing- also me projecting onto the brothers. Under a cut due to post length.

Lucifer

He has dyscalclia, and struggles when it comes to doing math and looking at numbers. He's too prideful to admit it though. It's why paperwork and work tends to take him so long- causing work to pile up.

After the fall, Lucifer would find himself wandering the halls, and would sneak into his brothers rooms to make sure they were okay. He'd been caught multiple times by Levi, and learned to be quite good at playing Mario (or the Devildom equivalent) games because of it

Lucifer has another credit card entirely and purposely adds money for Mammon to spend, especially if he thought he was being to harsh on Mammon.

He prefers to be dressed entirely, because clothes cover the scars from where his angel wings used to be.

Mammon

He's way smarter than he lets on, he just knows his brothers have incredibly difficult lives and he wants to take any pressure that he can off of them- even if it makes him the butt of their jokes.

He's incredibly skilled at math, engineering and fixing things- he was quite focused on cars and racing for a while (especially since gambling on them make quite a profit).

Mammon may be greedy, but he often buys small gifts for his brothers and manages to sneak it to them.

Mammon traces over his pact marks when he gets nervous, it helps to ground him if he begins to panic.

Leviathan

Levi's obsession and love for Ruri-chan came from a place of self hatred after becoming a demon.

Levi used to have a mini tub for Henry to swim in as well, but changed it to having a tank so he could fall asleep watching Henry swim around.

Being the Navy's general makes the ocean incredibly calming for him, he will come by Devildoms rivers and oceans and just stare at them at times to relax.

Levi absolutely buys double of almost every manga or anime in case his brothers want to watch it- and he has certain ones saved his brothers in the hope they ask.

Satan

When learning about human culture before the exchange program, he became oddly obsessed with late 2000 Disney movies and would binge watch them when he had the time.

Satan will find synopsis' of Levi's animes and would write fanfictions of them- especially if Levi complained about the ending or way something was done.

Although Satan did have a majority of his Wrath directed towards Lucifer, he was the first and only one of his brothers to learn about his dyscalclia, and has sworn to secrecy about it to protect his brothers pride.

Satan was (and is) a D&D nerd, and has false books full of dice sets for "emergency sessions".

Asmo

After the fall, they got weirdly obsessed with clouds and the sky, and would find places to just watch their beauty, his go to with any partner is to compare them to the beauty of the night sky.

A really good big brother to the twins, used to buy pillows that were "in style" for the twins - ended up getting Belphie the cow print pillow he always has before he was banished.

Every so often they mentally fight to not get piercings. They want some- namely a nose piercing, but don't want to "run the risk of tarnishing their perfect face" if it didn't turn out right.

Asmo has a strange ability to tell what size someone's clothes are- and always manages to get matching sets that fit someone perfectly.

Beelzebub

Beel has super good rhythm, and plays music surprisingly well- especially on the drums!

Beel got into sports to physically tire him out after the long days- it eases his nightmares to tire himself out to such an extent.

He's incredibly comfortable to lay on, there's been quite a few times that Belphie comes over and flops against him to nap.

Belphagor

He got oddly obsessed with musicals, especially since it gives him inspiration for dreams. He's particularly fond of Heathers.

Love language is choking plushie buying, especially if he knows it's something his partner cuddles up to.

He sleeps during class but somehow passes almost perfectly.

If he somehow struggles with sleeping, he goes to Satan to listen to him read.

Simeon

Simeon makes it a mission to better understand technology and makes gifts for those who help him.

Simeon grew a slight obsession with humanity after and during the exchange program- often finding himself wishing he would've joined the brothers in the Celestial War.

Simeon holds study sessions with Luke and often invites Barbatos and Diavolo to talk over tea and sweets.

Solomon

Absolutely covered in markings from his pacts, they travel from his neck to his ankles- and when he starts trying to concentrate he traces over the ones that travel down his arms.

He developed multiple relationships in the Human world, but grew to cherish friendships over romantic relationships.

Has a large collection of Grandpa slippers.

Diavolo

Loves sharing his clothes, especially because he likes seeing how his friends (and partners) look in more royal suited clothes- and likes seeing how his clothes swallow them up.

He grows incredibly attached fast- especially given that his only friends were not usually friends with him of their free will.

He finds sitting on the castles' roof and staring up at the sky relaxing- it makes him feel like every other demon and shortly lifts the weight of being the future king off his shoulders.

Barbatos

Listens to music when cleaning the palace but refuses to tell anyone what's on his playlists.

Accidentally set Diavolo on a rampage by giving him pickles- insures that pickles are banned in the castle from that point forward.

Once managed to pin Satan during a wrathful episode- every one agreed to never talk about it, himself included.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEANDERTHAL CHILD WITH DOWN'S SYNDROME? Because they're all I've been thinking about when I'm sad for the past few days. Their existence makes me less sad.