Secretary (2002) Dir. Steven Shainberg

stressed out, need a cig and a heavy make out sesh asap

I Got Heaven-Mannequin Pussy

genuinely me right now

Party Girl (1995) dir. Daisy Von Scherler Mayer

i want to pull my ribcage open and place you inside next to my heart. to hold you close. to keep you warm. to keep you safe.

i'll tear my body apart for you

i h8 when im way more obsessed w someone than they are with me

i love shoshanna and ray (separately and together despite their problematic nature) like i don’t know why they both make me feel this eternal sadness especially ray.

like i genuinely love girls so much! hannah’s ocd episode makes me feel vulnerable and same with jessa. even marnie makes me feel sad.

please consider checking out my patreon if you can. it is $5, and you get access to around 75k words worth of work. i am having tons of issues with my old bank account i don't have access to and it is overdrawn. i don't have enough to cover the overdrawn amount along with upcoming bills and money for food and gas. i promise it is worth the money, there is so much on there that hasn't been posted for free yet. i am doing very bad mentally and this is something that is not helping in the slightest so please at least consider reblogging if you can't help.

kofi | patreon

listening to i’m your man by leonard cohen and i want to be punished by them.. i feel like such a pervert wanting to be hurt during intimacy..

im not sure what’s wrong with me. like i was telling them that i don’t care that they talk to other people.. i dont know why im feeling this all encompassing need to be needed by them or by anyone and i feel like this is gonna ruin me in the future. but like i dont think my need to be hurt is really bad at least i hope not.

i was watching edits of secretary and like in the ideal world i find someone like mr grey, someone who can appreciate the erotic elements of butchfemme as well as respect and wouldn’t make me feel bad about the way i approach sex. because i can see my desperate nature in lee but the way mr grey is so disgusted by himself is ME.

also the apps are so good for creating community and helping queer people but like at what cost?

i only have tiktok bc of edits and sending them to my friends but i genuinely miss when 2020/2021/22 when i deleted it and had a sense of freedom.

i’m already a very anxious person and an overthinker but lately it feels like everything is fuelling discourse and like they’re so minuscule and normal. it’s like people are fabricating so many fake things in order to fuck people up and the same thing with twitter.

believe it or not in those years that app was like a safer place and funny but ever since elon took over it feels like a deep pit of hell. the butchfemme discourse that goes on the there is another type of hell, mind you i don’t say shit there but it feels like everyone’s regurgitating the same shit to get likes and i hate it. im trying to ween myself off but with the way the world works, these apps seem to be an important part of our lives.

Y’all we have to stop making eachother feel bad for having sexual attraction. Lesbians are allowed to be horny we don’t have to be sexless pastel princesses holding hands in a field or smth. Be horny, it’s frankly revolutionary to be a sweaty horny dyke.