What Is The Best Present

I'm dancing in the rain so no one can see me crying.

Emotions are my teachers

At some point we have to face it. The only question seems to be just when. My emotions can only control me as long as I don't want to admit them. They are a way to get to know me better. Emotions show me how well I can deal with situations. Emotions are a measure of my own development.

Contacts

Contacts imply the willingness to show myself. Without contact to the people around me I would become even more lonely. Yes, I am actually dependent on it in difficult situations. As the mental pressure increases, help takes on a different meaning.

Things to know when you love someone suffering from depression

“When the depression holds you down, life becomes water. The air around you becomes water that paralyzes you with its weight and even the simplest tasks are difficult at once. You feel lazy, mentally and physically, and nothing can free you from it.”

Outsiders often find it difficult to understand what happens in people suffering from depression. To this day, some prejudices and myths about the disease persist, which makes it difficult not only for those affected, but also for the people close to them.

The worst thing is fear It’s not just the fear that it will never be over. Or that it could get worse. It is also the fear that friendships or relationships will break with it. That people turn away because they simply don’t understand the situation. Because they can’t understand that appointments sometimes have to be cancelled at the last minute because it’s just not a good day. If you love or are friends with a depressed person, you should let him know as often as possible that this fear is unfounded.

It’s a real disease. Depressions are considered mental illness, but that doesn’t make them any less bad and no less noticeable. They are not visible, and perhaps not tangible, but that does not mean that they are not there. In fact, they can be proven. If the brain lacks chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline or norepinephrine, this triggers a mental imbalance.

The simplest things can be a big challenge For a person with depression, it can be a challenge to get out of bed. To take a shower. To drive to work. Those who have never suffered from depression cannot understand this. That’s why you just have to trust that the person is telling you the truth and not trying to compare your reality with his or her reality.

There’s not always a logical reason Depression is deceitful. Affected people can have a good day and suddenly the depression pulls them into the abyss. There does not always have to be an understandable reason for this. Sometimes sadness can hardly be explained, the pain can hardly be put into words. Don’t try to find a reason you can relate to. Try to accept the situation.

Depression doesn’t disappear when you “pull yourself together” Sayings like “Get a grip on yourself” or “get over it” are incredibly hurtful for people with depression. They reinforce their sense of disappointment. Of course, they try to overcome the disease. But just like any other disease, it doesn’t work overnight. It’s a fight, not just a decision.

You probably don’t know how bad it really is People with depression often try to hide the real abysses of their condition. Often they don’t want to admit to themselves how bad they feel and that they need help. If you love a person with depression, it is quite possible that he has not told you how gloomy it really is in him. Maybe because he wants to protect you both and your relationship.

Your loved one doesn’t want to be a burden on you People who fight against depression don’t want to be a burden on others. They don’t want to transfer their negative mood to others. Depressive do not seek attention or compassion - on the contrary. What they crave the most is to be treated like everyone else.

There is more than one reality When someone is obviously going through a difficult time, it is a natural impulse to describe his own experiences to make it clear that one can understand his or her suffering. But in most cases you can’t do that. Your reality has nothing to do with his or her reality. Most of all, you can help by listening.

Their depression has nothing to do with you If you love a person with depression, it is important to understand that his or her state of mind has nothing to do with you. That can be very difficult sometimes. If your partner is in a bad mood, the fear that it could be because of yourself is obvious. But it is important to understand that a person’s depression basically has nothing to do with anyone but him-/herself - not you.

It’s okay if you’re dissatisfied Loving someone who suffers from depression is a challenge. They need your love and attention, they need to know that you support them. But that doesn’t mean that your feelings and moods count less. If you’re dissatisfied, you can say the same thing. This is the only way to find out what works best for both of you.

Responsibility

As long as I do not take full responsibility for myself, I will continue to wander the world, hoping to find my happiness somewhere. But where should I look if not in me? The avoidance and evasion of unpleasant feelings increasingly reduces one's own room for maneuver. Running away cannot be a permanent solution.

Being on the ground also has something soothing about it. I can't get any lower. The play is over. I don't have to fool myself anymore. It's hard for me to see myself weak. Suddenly, I'm not the one who's there for others anymore. I need to ask for help. Being vulnerable is unusual to me.

Open up

It's important to me to show the people around me how I feel. Dropping the mask, putting me through to others. This is not an easy task and requires a lot of effort. Feelings of shame and worthlessness are spreading. Opening up to this vulnerability is unfamiliar.

Misconceptions about depression

The burgeoning frustration of being asked to "pull oneself together" The bitter truth is that you can't just drop depression overnight - and whoever says so conveys a less than helpful message. Such sayings are often due to a lack of understanding of mental illness. When relatives don't understand what's going on, they react with statements like "don't be so upset" or "Stop feeling sorry for yourself". Such statements are made whenever there is no understanding of underlying diseases and chemical abnormalities. Such comments are probably the most irritating.

Depressions are constantly mistaken for sadness It is a widespread prejudice that depression is caused by excessive sadness.

There are no small victories For people suffering from chronic depression, there are no small victories because every achievement is a great victory. While daily routine routines are quite normal for most people, they are a much greater achievement for depressive people. Almost every activity or task becomes painful agony, even simple things like taking a shower or getting dressed.

Loss of motivation means more than a normal afternoon low The low at 3:00 PM, when you feel like you need your third cup of coffee, is hardly comparable to the drop in energy levels when you are depressed. Due to this lack of motivation, a depression can feel like the muscles are no longer functioning. It makes it really difficult to go to work, to concentrate, to laugh, to focus on tasks when you suffer so much.

You have physical symptoms - and they are just as strenuous as the emotional ones In some ways, depression is seen as a state of mind, but this is a big misunderstanding. For many people, depression does indeed contain serious physical symptoms. Many people therefore do not consider themselves depressed but believe that something else is wrong. If you suffer from depression, this can worsen existing physical ailments. Other physical symptoms include restlessness, indigestion, nausea, headaches and fatigue in joints and muscles. These physical symptoms in combination with the psychological symptoms influence the normal daily routine. It's all connected.

Things that used to be fun are no longer as amusing as they used to be Depression can affect even the smallest pleasures in life. Meeting up with friends, leisure activities like golf and even intimacy with your partner - all this is not as exciting as it used to be. Depression changes life dramatically. These listlessness combined with physical symptoms are all warnings when diagnosing the disease. In order to help someone who may be in such a depression, it is advisable to approach him or her impartially and offer constant support, including help in finding a treatment option.

The problems of expressing one's feelings When you are suffering from depression, it is sometimes difficult to put into words what goes on in you because you know that not everyone around you feels the same way - especially when the disease is stigmatized. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only 25 percent of all adults with mental health problems expect sympathy to be shown to people with mental health problems. Depression creates a negative image of yourself, the world and the future. Everything is perceived as through dark glasses. When people suffer from depression, they are usually convinced that no one understands them - and this is a really difficult situation.

There is no universal clinical picture Everyone experiences the depression in his or her own way, which is why one should deal sensitively with relatives who are struggling with it. The symptoms are different, the causes are different, the treatment methods are different. Work, relationships, families - this disease changes everything. Some people need medication. For others, long-term psychotherapy can be the solution. Depending on what works. I'm not saying that my way is the best for someone else. But I say that everyone can find his or her own way of healing - and the most important thing is to always stick to it. Never giving up.

There are two ways to help others overcome the agony of depression. On the one hand, any thoughts that uphold the stigma of mental illness should be banished. We need much more openness, transparency and understanding of the fact that it is okay to call depression a disease. It's not weakness. It is not a moral deficit. It is not something that the victims themselves have produced. And you have to understand that this is a very important start to help a family member with depression.

At some point, the time may come when you can't go any further on your own anymore. In other words: I need help. Admitting that isn't easy sometimes. But why go the hard way alone?