Like Basically. If You’re Not Religious How Do You Deal With Being Alive. And If You Are Religious

Supergirl Syndrome

You know that scene in Pirates of the Caribbean where Elizabeth Swan is made to wear a really tight corset and she faints and falls into the ocean because she can’t frickin breathe? That is what the word “perfect” reminds me of. I used to think it was a wonderful compliment, but now hearing someone say “Katherine, I think you’re pretty much perfect” causes quite the uncomfortable constricting of my chest.

My fondest aspiration in life used to be to achieve this state of superhumanity and to evolve into this perfect version of myself that I had created in my head. I loved that Katherine. She was kind, smart, in shape, confident, funny, and pretty. She balanced the academic, professional, spiritual, social and emotional aspects of her life with ease. I wanted to be her. There was just one problem. She didn’t exist. She was an impossible idea.

Curiously, when I discovered that I couldn’t be any more than human (it was a pretty big shock), I began wishing I could be less than human. I perceived all my emotions as weakness and I wanted to get rid of them all. I almost succeeded, I think. Or at least I almost succeeded in hiding my emotions from me and most of the people around me. I liked to think that I was a talented actress and a really good liar. It was really bad for me though.

I’m talking about all of that in the past tense, but I’m still really, REALLY struggling with it. It still really bothers me that I’m not perfect and that I never can be. When someone tells me that they think I’m perfect (which actually happens fairly often, but only because people think it’s more difficult than it actually is to abstain from swearing, drinking and sex), I get very upset because I know that I’m not and I just really don’t like that fact.

I’m telling you all of this because those are my symptoms of the “Supergirl Syndrome”. It’s an insidious disease and it affects most of the women I’m closest with. I’m sure there’s a parallel “Superman Syndrome” that affects guys but I’m not a guy so I’m probably going to be talking mostly to girls on this one. The causes of our affliction are probably a combination of societal pressures and maybe a little bit of hardwired psychology. Who knows. Not me. But I do know that I think many of us feel the need to be all things to all people at all times. We want to defy stereotypes so we have to be everything. We have to be smart AND pretty AND athletic AND popular. I’ve met way too many women who think they aren’t good enough. And I’m tired of it.

Symptoms of Supergirl Syndrome include but are not limited to…

Feelings of inadequacy

Comparing yourself to other girls

The desire to crawl into a hole and hide

The feeling of being under a large amount of pressure

Aversion to the word “perfect”

Emotional unavailability or repression

Academic stress

Athletic stress

Stress in general

Fear of what others think

Doing too much

Anxiety

Eating disorders

Unexplained feelings of guilt

Feelings of self-loathing

Inability to turn down another time commitment 

Inability to admit failure

Inability to cope with failure or mistakes

Extreme reactions to constructive criticism or criticism in general

Feel free to add your own to the list.

Okay so how do we treat Supergirl Syndrome? Is there a cure? I hope so! If not I’m in big trouble. I’m learning that the solution to this problem, as with most problems, is transparency and community. Please be gentle with me here because the advice I’m about to give you is advice that I’m still having trouble in following myself! The two most freeing statements I’ve heard are from my mom and my best friend, respectively. They are as follows:

“It’s no big secret that you’re not perfect. Nobody is under any illusions in regards to your imperfection. So you might as well stop trying.” - My mom (admittedly, it doesn’t sound particularly uplifting, but its stark honesty was what I needed.)

***

“You’re not perfect. But you’re you. And you are way cooler and more beautiful than the idea of a perfect you could be.” - Sarah

I’m learning that the best things we can do for each other are to be honest with each other and to invite others to be honest with us. It actually had a far bigger effect on me than I could have predicted when one of my friends simply said to me “I’m here for you if you need to talk or anything.” It was so simple but it was like he gave me permission to need another human being. Your friends really do love you and they really are there for you. Being honest with them is one of the best things you can do for yourself. And it encourages other people around you to be honest as well. I think opening up a dialogue is such an easy thing to do but it makes such a big difference. Just make sure it’s a dialogue of love, not judgment.

All of this stuff sounds so obvious when I type it out in black and white. However, I’m the girl who, when asked what might happen if I tried to be more open with people, answered “the world will fall apart.” I was mostly joking but I was a little bit serious. So if you’re anything like me, I think it’s possible that you might need a reminder sometimes.

This is our reminder: we’re not perfect. We never will be. We can’t be. But that’s okay because who we are is better than perfection. And being open and honest and understanding makes a big difference. It makes more of a difference than we think it will.

Okay, that’s all. Love you guys! Peace and love! -Katherine

“I wondered if that was why God hated sin, because of the destruction it caused. For a moment I felt awe for a God who loved me enough to hate the things that hurt me without hating me for causing them.”

—

Susan E. Isaacs (via everfleeting)

so much feels

(via forevermessiah)

i was wondering, since you'd been an atheist for a hot minute, have you lost any friends because of your later belief in god (or your studies, etc.)?

i'm struggling with this, because there's people in my life that i like, that i would even consider friends, but some of them have this deep hate for church and religions in general. (many of them are from poland and i feel like if you're from poland, you either support the church for the most part or you totally distance yourself from it, and i'm not on either side in this case).

and for me, i'm judgemental of the church too, especially the catholic church (i'm catholic), i'm a feminist, not racist, not homophobic, not transphobic. liberal. but i do attend mass and it does feel important to me. whenever this comes up however, i feel like i need to explain myself. that's why i try not to bring up the topic of religion and faith at all.

and i understand where they are coming from and why they would choose to turn away from the church completely, but it's not like i haven't spent hours and hours and hours thinking about what my beliefs are. like this is so big for me and i wish i could be more open about it, but i feel so misunderstood every time.

my only solution would be to find better friends :/ maybe you had a similar experience?

i lost or became distant from a number of friends when i began to explore my relationship to faith more earnestly- it put a lot of strain on my relationship with my partner at the time, and we eventually broke up for reasons that included but were not exclusive to religion. that was almost a decade ago and i've grown a lot: my friends now do i know what they're in for with me, and i'm lucky in how they encourage and support me and give me space to be in dialogue with them. one of my closest friends is an atheist, and we have great conversations about theism.

but i also know, and this is part of growing in my faith, that religion- especially christianity- is the source of a lot of pain for people. a lot of trauma, including for myself, and i try to remember that. if my faith is built on love, then i am here only to love people. sometimes loving them means setting my faith, as big and immersive as it is, aside so that i can better model what it is to them. it can be an opportunity to help them heal in the sense that without talking to them or immersing them in my own journey, i can show them through my actions what faith should be, mindful that their experiences are with systems that are repressive, painful, violent, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, or abusive. some of my closest friends are people who have negative or no opinions about God and faith. part of what makes those relationships possible is that i recognize that i am privileged to have a healthy relationship to faith, that i have one at all, or that i was able to overcome my own religious trauma to a place of healing, where i could redevelop my assumptions from the ground up. that is a privilege and one that not everyone has the ability to take advantage of. to be religious is to be privileged, especially where christianity is the majority, since religion is practiced by the majority and often contributes negatively to systems of oppression (and this is partly why i have difficulty formally joining the church- my ability to take on religious privilege, as a christian in the christian west, only goes so far).

i do not believe in evangelism, but i do believe in lived faith, and weirdly in this way i have watched numerous people around me who previously had no interest in religion end up converting or reverting, or develop more unconventional relationship to something they'd lost through abuse or mistrust- sometimes they've directly attributed that to their relationship with me, and sometimes its more passive, maybe it has nothing to do with me at all. but i like to think that i was able to be something for them. when we talk about self-emptying in faith, when we talk about making room for God in ourselves and our lives, i think this is often what it means. people do not owe us understanding for our relationship with God. but if we are close to God, if we love him, we owe him our emptiness so that we can reflect his light to others, in the way that they can understand, that has nothing to do with ourselves. and if we lose people in that process, it isn't us they're rejecting, and it isn't God either. they're just not meant to encounter the light through us. and it is har to lose people like that, but it also makes space for people who will see the light of God reflected in us and recognize that it makes sense to them.

i hope this makes sense and helps you in your path: ultimately yes, faith is contentious, and not without reason. but i always try to be respectful of people's misgivings about faith, i don't bring it where it's not wanted, and i trust that God will bring me to places where it is wanted and more importantly, needed. such is faith.

My Testimony

My testimony is, simply put, the story of how I became a Christian and what God has done in my life. When I was five years old, I decided that I wanted to have a relationship with Christ so I prayed with my mom and invited God to become a part of my life. Ever since then I’ve had a relationship with God, and I’ve tried to live every day as He would want me to live. That was 12 years ago and I’m so thankful that 5-year-old me made that choice. God has taught me some amazing truths over the years.

No matter what I’m going through, He is always there for me. Whether it’s conflicts with my friends or worries about the future, I can talk about it to him and I’m not worried about it anymore. As a result, I’m a pretty happy person most of the time because I don’t have all these trivial little cares weighing me down.

One of the most amazing things I’ve learned sounds very simple but is actually mind-blowing: God loves me. The creator of the universe…loves me. The one who made the sun and the stars loves me! He knows me. He knows everything about me, and He still loves me! I feel so special, so important, so loved.

I know that God has a plan for my life and that He is going to use me to do amazing things. I am living every day according to the purpose He has given me. I don’t have to live to please people, I don’t have to be popular, I don’t have to fit in because my significance is in Christ.

I can tell you that I am a teenager who is happy, secure, confident, and I have significance and purpose. I don’t need drugs or alcohol or sex to make me feel alive or fulfilled. A teenager who can say that is so rare in today’s society. And it’s all because I have God!

I am so thankful that God has given me people in my life who have taught me these wonderful truths, and now I want to tell others about them because they’ve made such a great difference in my life.

simone weil said "absolutely unmixed attention is prayer." to pay absolute attention to the injustice in the world is to recognize the absence of God in the world. to pay attention to God's absence is to manifest his presence in the places where he is most needed, for the most vulnerable, for those who need him the most, for those he loves: the ones to whom he gives attention.

A Pragmatic and surprisingly comforting perspective about the Trump 2nd Presidency from the ACLU

***Apologies if this is how you found out the 2024 election results***

Blacked out part is my name.

I’m not going to let this make me give up. It’s disheartening, and today I will wallow, probably tomorrow too

AND

I will continue to do my part in my community to spread the activism and promote change for the world I want to live in. I want to change the world AND help with the dishes.

And I won’t let an orange pit stain be what stops me from trying to be better.

A link to donate to the ACLU if able and inclined. I know I am

action.aclu.org

The ACLU is Fighting Back Against Trump

As the Trump administration moves toward the White House, the stakes could never be higher. But the ACLU is ready to fight back! As Presi

How do you feel about Westboro Baptist Church and the things they do?

ASJDFGHJKLKJHGFDSTYDERTGVBHYGTF THEY MAKE ME SO ANGRY.LEVITICUS IS NOT THE ONLY BOOK IN THE BIBLE! READ THE NEW TESTAMENT!  

THE GOD YOU CLAIM TO FOLLOW IS NOT A GOD OF HATE! HE IS A GOD OF LOVE! HE LOVES EVERYONE AND HATES NO ONE! Ugh. I must admit, they drive me to violent urges. They infuriate me beyond words because they preach literally the antithesis of EVERYTHING my God is and yet they say that they follow the same God as I do. How is that even possible? How can someone spew hate and vitriol and say that it’s of God? Rest assured, it is not of God. God is love. Overwhelming, unconditional, infinite, scandalous, inclusive, all-consuming, all-effacing, sanctifying, redeeming, love. LOVE is literally the closes thing to the character of God that we have here on earth. Therefore, I ask you, how can someone be so absolutely full of hatred and be in line with God’s will? They cannot. Having said that, it is my personal belief that though they claim to be Christians, they are not Christians. Allow me to share with you one of my favourite quotes: 

Not because he and I are one, but because we are opposites, I take to me the services which thou hast done to him. For I and he are of such different kinds that no service which is vile can be done to me, and none which is not vile can be done to him. Therefore if any man swear by Tash and keep his oath for the oath’s sake, it is by me that he had truly sworn, though he know it not, and it is I who reward him. And if any man do a cruelty in my name, then, though he says the name Aslan, it is Tash whom he serves and by Tash his deed is accepted. 

That’s a quote from The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. Aslan represents God and Tash represents the devil. I think this quote is extremely applicable to our current discussion, and the cruelty committed by the Westboro Baptist Church, though done in God’s name, is not done in the service of God, but in the service of the devil. That goes for all the evil deeds of misguided, blinded churches in the past, including the Spanish inquisition, the Holocaust, etc. It saddens me greatly that the one philosophy which should be completely pure of hatred and dissension - Christianity - is so incredibly corrupted and perverted in so many of its divisions. I maintain that people who truly know and love God are people of love, grace and acceptance, not of hatred and violence. How such abominations of the faith occurred is due entirely to prideful people who filter the word of God through their own (WRONG) worldview. And the saddest part of all this is that God loves the people of the Westboro Baptist Church. He loves them desperately, and He wants them to fully realize and understand the power of His transforming love for them, and for everyone, because when you know, truly know the love of God, you are never the same again. And if they actually knew God, they would not behave the way they do. My hope is that someday they will know the God they claim to serve, and that their acquaintance with Him will change everything. Sooo…there you go. Peace and love! -Katherine 

Where do you draw the line at what's appropriate sexually before marriage?

I’m pretty conservative, so kissing is my limit. Like, I don’t want hands going ANYWHERE, not even above the belt. :P I try to follow these rules: 1. No clothes are coming off. 2. Don’t touch me anywhere that would be covered by a bikini.

I just do this because the road to sex is a very slippery slope, and I’m worried that once you start down that slope, it’s really hard to stop. And to me, it’s too much of a risk to take, so I’d prefer to stay faaaaaar away from that slope at all, and make absolutely certain that nothing’s gonna happen. I just don’t know how strong my will power is, and I’d really prefer not to find out, haha :P

Thanks for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine

This is me externally processing.

My beliefs about equality and justice are, to me, the logical outpouring of Christ’s love in my life. God commands us to love our neighbours as ourselves. We are called to glorify God by loving people: indiscriminately and unconditionally. A passion for justice should flow naturally from this love. Injustice violates love. God, whose divine essence is love, is supremely and perfectly just. Our love, as Christians, would be incomplete if it did not seek to correct injustice. 

Jesus was the ultimate social justice activist. He was the great equalizer. He spent time with society’s most marginalized groups of people and never looked down on anyone for the situation or their choices. He met people where they were at. He got on their level. Jesus was not someone who stood back and regarded injustice or oppression from afar. He loved them personally and practically. He was involved in their lives. Furthermore, Jesus did not come to uphold an unjust and corrupt social system. He was radical. He was subversive. He upset the status quo. Jesus came to give sight to the blind, and to set free the captive and oppressed. Jesus is the model of social justice. 

It’s because of my deeply-rooted convictions, because of the belief in Jesus Christ that defines my whole life, because of this moral code to which I adhere, that I am so implacably passionate about social justice. This is why discrimination and intolerance offends and outrages me so much. This is why I fight for the rights of all marginalized groups. 

For the past three weeks, I’ve been teaching the gospel to children at a Christian summer camp. The curriculum I’m using is the 5 Gs of the Gospel: God, Guilt, Grace, Gratitude, Glory. When we talk about Gratitude, we talk about how people act when Jesus changes their life. People who know Jesus begin to act more like Him. And God loves people and we love God so we love people. Now here’s the kicker, for me: loving people and acting like Jesus means correcting injustice. It means feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, liberating the captive, including the outsider. It means accepting people. It means treating everybody the same no matter what their struggle is. 

YOUR GOSPEL IS INCOMPLETE IF IT DOES NOT INCLUDE JUSTICE. THE GOSPEL IS JUSTICE. JESUS IS JUSTICE. 

And here is the very big problem that I have right now. This camp that I work at is not as inclusive and tolerant as I am. I’ve talked to way too many people who think my feminist views are unbiblical. The policies of this camp regarding people who are homosexual are in the process of being decided, and I don’t know how it’s gonna go. I’m told that transgendered persons are not permitted to work there and may not be permitted to attend as campers either. Is it because “we don’t want to send the message to the campers that that kind of lifestyle is okay”? Because parts of my lifestyle in 2015 definitely weren’t okay and still aren’t and you would not want to send the message to campers that it’s okay, but I was still hired. Is it because “we just want to focus on teaching kids the gospel, and not engage in discussions about those kinds of topics”? Well this is a problem, because I believe that your gospel in incomplete without the part about treating everybody with respect and equality. How can you teach kids the gospel while discriminating against people who quite possibly need love and support and acceptance the most? 

I’m struggling with this because I think that equality and tolerance is so integral to the gospel message, and when I see an organization that doesn’t practise equality and tolerance, I feel that they are misrepresenting the gospel. I wouldn’t want to work for an organization like that any more than I’d want to attend a church that didn’t teach sound doctrine. I do not believe that those attitudes are of God. God is not about discrimination. And I want no part in it. 

I think it's great to talk about stuff like this because the more uncomfortable you make it, the harder it is to address. This is a great treatment of the lust/porn/masturbation issue, and I wanted to share it with y'all! :)  -Katherine

Editor’s Note: I’ve received countless emails, messages and questions regarding about lust, porn and masturbation. I’ve had my tumblr since November of 2011 and I think it’s time that I write something about this very touchy and sensitive topic. What you’re about to read are things that I’ve learned in the past as I wrestled and struggled with this sin. These are things I’ve learned either from different people, from different books, and from God through His word and His Holy Spirit. I understand that every single guy and gal are on a different journey with this sin. So I’m not saying that what I  write on this entry is what you should do, rather the purpose of this blog entry is to encourage, empower, and enlighten others as to how to face this battle and come out victorious through Jesus Christ. My desire and prayer is that you would find encouragement, wisdom, knowledge and hope that there’s an answer and a solution. I can testify to that for I am a living testimony. There’s victory over this struggle and the answer lies in Jesus Christ and I pray that you would see that through this blog entry. Let’s get started shall we? :)

I was first exposed to porn when I was a little kid. I can’t remember exactly how old I was but I remember I was really young. How? It might’ve been when I was at my friends house and his parents weren’t home and we thought it was a good idea to mess around with his parents movie. I’m not sure how and where exactly I got my eyes exposed to porn but I was young. 

From that point I just started watching porn and it became a routine and I didn’t think it was wrong. I wasn’t a Christian either so I thought it was natural for guys to watch and masturbate. Little did I know that my foolish choices at that time was going to affect me when I became a Christian.

At the age of 15 I gave my life to Christ. I still remember coming home from that youth conference and just feeling so fired up! God now gave me new eyes, new mind, new heart and new life. I knew that any lustful activity just needs to stop because the bible tells me so and it’s wrong. I was on a good streak and I lasted at least 3-6 months of not watching, not doing. But something went wrong. All of a sudden the whole “I’m not suppose to do this because it’s wrong and the bible says it’s wrong” no longer held any weight or power to stop me from succumbing to a lustful heart and this is where my battle with lust started.  I remember hearing a good message and thought to myself, “Man, that message was so convicting, God I will never do go back to those lustful things. I’m done.” Or meet with my accountability partner and have a long “prayer session” and after that I would feel good. Or set up all these rules of do’s and don’ts but at the end of all these things I’ve mentioned, I would end up doing the very same thing I hate doing. Can you relate to my story? I’m sure most of you can if not all.  So what is wrong exactly? What is lust? And if you’re struggling with lust and any other forms of lustful activity how do you fight it? What do you do?

First you have to know that SEXDRIVE and Sexual Desire isn’t the problem nor the issue, LUST is. SEX isn’t the answer or the solution to your LUST problem, Jesus is. God created you and me with sexual desires and drives to be with someone. But the enemy twisted the truth about our sexuality through Lust. Lust is craving sexually what God has forbidden.To Lust is to go beyond attraction, appreciation of beauty or a healthy desire for sex. It is very self-centered and selfish and it makes these desires more important than God.

I mentioned earlier that in the past I’ve failed spectacularly in the area of lust even though I heard a powerful message, or met with my partners or even got rid of ‘stuff’ I found myself going back to the same patterns. Why? mainly because I’ve held the wrong standard for holiness. The wrong source of power to chance. And the wrong motive for fighting sin. My ideas and thoughts about being holy was completely twisted. I thought If I don’t watch/look at porn or masturbate for certain amount of time I’m doing pretty good. I thought I can rely solely on my partners and I’ll be fine. And I thought setting down some strict legalistic rules will help me stay on my toes I was wrong.

But the main reason why we pursue holiness and choose to deny lust along with it’s other forms is because of this: God created us for so much more. He designed us to be satisfied with Him and to translate that satisfaction and pleasure to someone through sex in marriage. He isn’t withholding our sex drives by not watching or masturbating, rather He is saving us for a life filled with love, joy, peace and satisfaction. He is saving us for something so much better. Yes it’s not easy and it’s a fight and a sacrifice but in the end it’s worth it.

As Christians we need to remember that nothing that we can do or add to make us justified before Him, Christ did all the justification. Not watching porn, or masturbating isn’t gonna add up a ‘points’ to God, or make us more worthy, rather it’s sanctifying us and leading us towards a life of holiness and purity.

If we understand this truth about how we stand in Christ, all of a sudden our motives and hearts towards lust changes from “I’m not gonna do it coz it’s wrong” to “I’m not gonna do it because I don’t wanna break my Father’s heart.” That’s a huge difference. The other one is motivated by legalism and will power and the other one is motivated by love and grace.  God’s standard of holiness is radical. Ephesians 5:3 says this:

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity.. because these are improper for God’s holy people.

God’s standard of holiness is this: Not even a hint! - That means if you struggle with lust then get rid any kind of triggering factors that encourages you to fall into that sin. If that means you need to get rid of your TV in your room, have your parents/spouse/friends create a password for your computer, throw away any provocative magazines that come to your mail, refrain from any movie that most likely have sensual sin, ANYTHING. Get rid of it, stay away from it, Not even a hint. 

So does that mean we can’t look at the opposite sex coz we fear of committing lust? No. Of course not. Truth is, it is not lust when we find someone to be so attractive, to have a strong desire for sex, to be excited about sex within marriage, to experience sexual temptation. It only becomes lust and sinful when we go past those things I’ve mentioned above. It is important to distinguish these things and to know what’s lust and what’s not. What’s natural and what’s sinful. it’s not about approaching your sin in a legalistic way, but instead it’s about being obedient to God and being good stewards of the life and the body He has given us.  Now what, how do you exactly face and fight this battle? What do you and how do you prepare yourself when Satan comes at you prowling like a lion ready to deceive you? Identify any lust trigger factors. There are numbers of factors that can trigger you. And when you identify these factors it will help you better equip and prepare yourself.

Time of day- Is it at night, after work, when you’re tired etc.

Locations- could be alone in your room, friends house, etc.

TV- be responsible on what you feed your eyes.

Books/Newspapers/Magazines- Be radical about what your read.

Music- Be mindful about the songs you listen to.

Internet - this is obvious.

People/relationship- are you in a healthy & godly relationship or not?

Now that you have your list, pray and ask God to give you solid brothers/sisters to help you in this fight. People who would be genuine about your struggle and will faithfully strengthen and build you up. You can have all these lists but unless you genuinely repent from this sin and have strong hatred towards this sin and a strong and burning desire to be victorious in this area, nothing will happen. Unless you  seek friend and get someone to keep you accountable and really take action, you will only find yourself stumbling over and over again. You weren’t meant to fight your battles all by yourself. Jesus sent his disciples always in pairs that means we are meant to work with people and encourage others in our walk.

I have to say one thing though, accountability is great but you have to set your mind and heart on the right place with this. In the past I’m afraid to act on my sin because I don’t wanna disappoint my partner or I want to have a ‘good thing’ to say whenever we meet. This is a wrong mindset. Accountability isn’t meant for that. It’s about partnering, walking, and encouraging the other person not relying. At the end of the day you rely on Jesus’ grace & love and His Spirit to empower you and strengthen you daily. 

In my own experience and walk, here’s some really practical ways to develop and cultivate a godly lifestyle:

Spend time with God through prayer, reading His word and worship. - Pick a book in the bible. Start your day with prayer and asking God to give you a hunger for his word daily. Read one chapter a day and journal your thoughts and what God has revealed to you that day. Make it a habit to memorize a short passage. Pursue intimacy with Jesus and make it your priority.

Be in community. Serve in your local church & community. - by doing this you are being proactive and getting out of the house and cultivating a healthy godly lifestyle. Talk with other Christians and just get out there instead of staying home.

Cultivate godly habits. - Read books that encourages you to love and go deeper with God. Listen to songs that encourages you to fall in love more with Jesus. Whenever you’re at a store, coffeeshop, etc, ask for the Holy Spirit to give you opportunities to minister to people either through praying for them, encouraging them with simple words or buying them lunch or coffee. The pleasures that you get from these things are priceless.

i’ll close with this one. There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. You’ve probably failed in the past but I know deep down inside your heart you’re disappointed but you’re not close to giving up. There’s still a part of you that wants to strive for victory and there is coz God is working in your heart already as you read this. So even after you read this blog and still find yourself stumbling, get up and start all over again. Godliness and Holiness isn’t an overnight fix, it’s a lifetime and it’s a process. The last thing you want to do is give up. Don’t listen to the enemy, and grab onto Jesus right away. He loves you and will never give up on you. Ever. As long as you’re alive and breathing, you have a chance to change, and repent. His grace is sufficient for you are His child and He’s got his grip on you and will never let you go because He has called you to be a vessel and instrument to this perverse world. 

If you want to cultivate a lifestyle of walking in purity and holiness, then you need to abide in Jesus Christ. In John 15 Jesus talks about us abiding in him coz apart from him, we can’t bear any fruit. Apostle Paul talks about how God can’t be deceived, what we sow either in the Spirit or flesh, then that’s what we will reap. You can’t expect to bear fruits of the Spirit or come close to victory over porn, lust and masturbation if you’re daily sowing in the things of the flesh instead of the things of the Spirit. But If you abide in Christ, set and fill your minds with godly things, and ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with His presence everyday, I promise you, and it may even surprise you but the urge, desires and cravings of lust will slowly and eventually start to fade away because it will be replaced with the Fruits of the Spirit. We will bear the fruits of Christ and the fruits of godliness and holiness but that’s only possible if we abide in Christ daily. Look to Jesus, He is greater and powerful  than any of your present trials and struggles. 

Grace and Love in Christ, Mark Muldez.