What Is Your Opinion On Purity Rings?

Do you think that God or Jesus will get mad if I have sex before I get married or engaged?

Here :) 

I need to write. I need to breathe again. I'm drowning in my thoughts. Ideas crash like waves over each other, churning in a dizzying vortex of emotion. But how do I start? I can't even tell which way is up anymore. How do I get above the surface? My lungs are filling up with unspoken words and unanswered questions. I need to breathe. But I can't find the air. Is this what they call Writer's Block? Or something else entirely?

Is there a particular reason why you want to wait to have sex?

Hello! Thank you for your question :)There are a few reasons that I’ve decided to wait. The first and most important being that I believe God created sex as an absolutely beautiful and breathtaking thing, but as with all things possessing great power, it was created to be used in a specific way. I’m serious, when we were learning about reproduction in biology, I was like a little kid, like “THIS IS SO COOL!!” The human body fascinates me. And sex is a part of that. It’s designed in all its intricacy to have multiple functions on relational, physiological, and reproductive levels. We are humans, and as humans, we were created to have sex. I’m not even kidding. I don’t actually think that full-on lifetime celibacy and abstinence is necessarily a good thing. For some people, like Paul, it works. For others, it doesn’t. But I also believe with all of my heart that humans were created to be monogamous. Why else would we be so infatuated with fairy tales and “only true love’s kiss can break the spell”? God created us like that. So He created us to have sex and He created us to be monogamous. And so, in the logical progression of this train of thought, He created us to have sex within the confines of monogamy. So…where does marriage come into this? Marriage, to God, is a sacred and holy covenant, before men and before Him. Breaking such a bond is in no way taken lightly. Therefore, for the majority* of cases, a Christian marriage means literally “until death do us part”. In this way, we are assured that we only share these more intimate parts of us with someone who has pledged to love us forever. (See 1 Corinthians 7:2 and Hebrews 13:4)And of course, I trust God explicitly, so I believe that the way He designed sex is the way it was designed to be used, and that’s the way I intend to use it. Also, here’s why, from a totally human perspective that I (in my infinite wisdom..ha. ha. ha.) agree with God. The emotional crap that comes along with sex. Man like, I’ve seen a girl fall for some guy she met a month ago and have a night of passion under the stars and yeah yeah yeah I’m sure it was all so romantic, but after that he left and she couldn’t get over him for years. And I don’t even know if she ever totally will. I’ve seen a girl sleep with 8 different guys in a year, including one who was 1.5 times her age, and she’s as emotionally easy as she is sexually. She’s hungry for attention and validation from guys because she can’t find it in herself. I love both of these girls dearly, and their choices are not mine, and I will never presume to tell them what they should or should not do. But again, their choices are not mine, and while I will not judge, I will not make the same choices.  Cause y’all can deny it, but there is a hormone called Oxytocin which is released by the brain during sex, colloquially dubbed “the cuddle hormone” that gives you all the warm and fuzzy feels. You know what the purpose of this hormone is? To strengthen interpersonal bonds. It’s secreted by the brain during breastfeeding to fortify the connection between a mom and her baby, and it’s secreted by the brain during sex to fortify the connections between you and the person you’re having sex with. Now you go ahead and try to tell me you’re not gonna have any emotions associated with sex. Honestly, I’ll point-blank refuse to believe you. I get emotions associated with all kinds of trivial things, when I’m into the guy. I don’t even wanna think about how crazy I’d get if we brought sex into the equation. Jeepers. That’s like incorporating the alphabet in math. This situation just got a whole new level of complicated. So basically, I wanna wait to have sex til I’m married cause then they’re trapped, muahahaha. I’m joking. But I don’t want to literally become naked (meaning vulnerable and defenceless), strip myself of all the barriers we put up to protect ourselves, and go to that place of intimacy with someone who might walk away in a year’s time and whom I might never see again. Or I might walk away from them. The point is that why invest everything you have in something that might not even last? 

I think sex is gonna be amazing. I just think it’ll be amazing-er within the boundaries of marriage than it would be without. Finally, check out this quote from the song Temptation by the 116clique: "Sex is a gift from God but we’ve taken it and made it idolatry.We’ve taken it and put it in the place of God. And we worship it so it comes out in all kinds of profane ways. So we blame the women for what they’re wearing And we blame the media for what they’re producing. But we never blame ourselvesFor how we’ve twisted God’s gift to glorify us.”  Peace and love! -Katherine *I think for me personally, divorce is not only an option, but the option in cases such as abuse or infidelity. 

I have an issue with this.

Okay so, recently I watched a video that is a spoken word detailing the difference between false religion and true Christianity. It’s fabulous. It’s a concise, articulate, theologically sound (including references to the old testament) poem which explains what we really believe, and I love it. It talks about not judging and good stuff like that.

My issue is completely separate, but is related to it indirectly. It stems from the fact that one of my friends shared this on Facebook, one whose lifestyle does not reflect a relationship with Christ. So when he shared this video on Facebook, one gets the impression that he feels that this video justifies his point of view. In fact, it does not. Yes, religious people have no right to condemn anybody because none of us are perfect and Jesus loves everybody and so should we. But there’s a difference between loving you and agreeing with you. Ever heard the expression “love the sinner, hate the sin”? Well, loving people is not people-pleasing. So we can hate religion all we want, because religion refers to hypocritical and self-righteous traditions all designed to create the illusion of someone who is “holier than thou.” But that doesn’t change the fact that there are some things that are not okay. Not drunkenness, or taking the Lord’s name in vain, or sex before marriage, or pornography, or lying, or cheating, or jealousy, or pride. I don’t discriminate, I have a problem with all sin equally. And I struggle with some of those. And yes, the grace of God covers all sin, but there’s a verse that says “so should we keep sinning so that God’s grace can just keep multiplying?” The answer is a resounding “NO!” That’s holy inflation. That’s cheapening God’s mercy and compassion, taking it entirely for granted and reducing it to having no value. In fact, God’s mercy is something so valuable, it should knock us on our faces in complete awe and submission of the Lord who saves our sorry souls. It should make us acutely aware of our own inadequacy and of the infinitely generous gift that God is giving us. See it all comes down to a sermon by Pastor Glen Newman that I heard over the summer: You can’t have grace without truth, and vice versa. Because the truth is that WE’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. And truth alone will make you hopeless and bitter, facing a lifetime of futile strife trying to live up to an impossible standard. But the grace part says THAT’S OKAY, I AM ENOUGH. And grace alone will make us complacent, feeling secure in the knowledge that Jesus loves us so we don’t have to try. It’s a very delicate balance between accepting God’s love and living according to the lifestyle He requires of us. Soemthing else I heard over the summer was by Brad Noel and he said that “Jesus can only be your savior if He is your Lord.” Which means that salvation is not a one-moment thing, it’s a way of life that involves completely dying to the old you and turning your back on everything you once were so God can transform you into something new and beautiful, in His likeness.

I guess my point is that, if we hate religion and love Jesus, how do we show that we really love Jesus? How do we show that we’re 100% sold-out, on fire, passionately in love with the God who rescued us from ourselves? Do we just update our Facebook status?

What's your opinion on pregnancy outside of marriage?

(To skip all the words, scroll to the bottom where it says “in conclusion”)Let’s start this one straight up. Jesus said to save sex for marriage. That alone is a good enough reason for me, because I think that God prooobably knows what He’s talking about. But that’s just me. However, here are some reasons why I, in my 19-year-old, human, finite wisdom (so much sarcasm) agree with Him:1) Humans are made to be monogamous. It’s true! We’re always looking for ‘that special someone’. If you don’t know Jesus, a meaningful romantic relationship is sometimes the most…spiritual and transcendent experience in your life. And if you do, it’s probably the second-most spiritual and transcendent experience. We have an inherent tendency to be co-dependent, to define ourselves by someone else. Not saying it’s healthy, just saying it’s true. 2) Ergo, there is a lot of psychological and physiological crap that goes along with sex. For example, sex releases oxytocin, known as the “cuddle hormone” which stimulates feelings of well-being and affection for your partner. It strengthens bonds between sexual partners and between mother and breast-feeding child. Besides that, sex is such a high level of intimacy and vulnerability (you are literally surrendering EVERYTHING to the other person) that it has a huuge effect on our psyche. One of my friends had sex with a guy when she was like 15 or 16 and she could not get over the guy for years and years, even though he was an idiot. Up to TWO THIRDS of prostitutes suffer from post traumatic stress disorder! Because we weren’t meant to live like that. I am a firm believer that a girl who has many sexual partners with no meaningful relationships is showing the symptoms of very low self-esteem and a deep and abiding lack of self-respect. 3) And so, I think that such a level of intimacy, that will have such a big effect on your psyche, should only be achieved with someone to whom you have pledge the rest of your life. Because with such a person, you know you trust them. You trust them enough to let them see the real you, all of you, all your strengths and weaknesses. You are already completely vulnerable with them because they see all your flaws and love you anyway, therefore you are free to be physically vulnerable with them as well. And the psychological effects of sex will only strengthen your relationship, which is great! Okay so now we’ve gotten that out of the way. And that’s really the root “issue” here. Not pregnancy per se, but extramarital sex. You only said pregnancy outside of marriage, which is of course NOT synonymous with teen pregnancy, but I’d like to indulge in a little tangent, if you’ll allow me (haha you have no choice :P) and discourse on that subject briefly. Here are a couple more, rather pragmatic reasons why I think teen pregnancy is a bad idea: 1) When you have a baby, you have to care for a whole other entire person! That is a HUUUUGE responsibility, and I’m not saying you’re not ready for it (although I know I’m definitely not), but I am saying that pretty much EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING in your life becomes secondary to this baby. School, work, friends, hobbies, EVERYTHING falls lower on the priority list than this baby. That could really throw a wrench in your future plans. 2) It IS nice for a child to have the stability of two parents whom a) the child actually knows and b) are constant in the child’s life. That would be the ideal case in a perfect world. This world’s far from perfect. I know that’s not always possible. But if it is, I’d suggest that you do that for you child. Try to give them two parents who will always be there for them. Don’t let them wonder who their mommy or daddy is. Don’t let them watch a string of boyfriends or girlfriends go through your life and never stay long enough to form anything more than a superficial relationship with your child. You know that’s gonna haunt them their whole life.Okay moving on! Obvs, I don’t know your life. I don’t know what you’ve been through. I have had a suuuper safe, sheltered life. I’m 19 and still a virgin, and I wear a purity ring which symbolizes my decision to save sex for marriage. Of course, my opinion’s gonna be biased. Furthermore, like I said in my last answer to a question about homosexuality, Jesus loves you! In fact, imma just block quote that whole part of the answer. 

Jesus said that the most important commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength (okay, cool, makes sense) BUUUTTT….the SECOND most important commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39; Mark 12:29-31) And there are entire chapters of the bible devoted entirely to the importance of loving people (1 Corinthians 13) So! Here are the facts: Fact Number 1: Jesus loves you. Like, He really, REALLY loves you. Deeply, passionately, intimately, overwhelmingly. He loves you enough to die for you. He loves you so much that He DESPERATELY wants to have a personal relationship with you - to talk to you, to hear your thoughts and to walk with you through this life. Fact Number 2: I love you. I think that every single person in the world deserves to be loved and deserves to be respected simply due to the fact that you are a person and God made you and loves you. Okay, so now we’ve established that Jesus loves you and I love you, for no other reason than the fact that you’re alive, and no matter what. That cannot be altered, edited, ignored, abated, cancelled out, destroyed or denied. 

So if someone has had sex, or did get pregnant outside of marriage, IN NO WAY does that make them a bad person, or make them unholy, or make God mad at them, or make God (or me) love them any less. You are still a beautiful person, worthy of love! Just because I personally have made different choices in my life than you  does not mean that I disapprove of you or am judging you or think any less or you, or even any differently of you! In fact, if one of my close friends had a baby, I would actually probably be SO happy to be their auntie Katherine. In conclusion, I think sex outside of marriage is a bad idea. But Jesus loves you and I love you even if you have had sex outside of marriage. Peace and love!-KatherineP.S. Just to establish this, I don’t like abortion (since it’s kind of a propos). So now that’s out there. P.P.S. I am loving these questions! Keep them coming! 

love.

If Jesus lived today, he would smell like smoke.

Whether it be from pot or from cigarettes or whatever else can be smoked, Jesus would smell like it. Not because he would partake in it himself, but because he would go out of his way to go to where the smokers were. He would go to them and be with them, get to know them and show them that they are worthy of love and that they can be saved from whatever they’re running from.

Jesus would know the sensation of stale beer drying on his shirt because somebody forgot to put their drink down before they hugged him. He’d never get drunk but he might have one beer, maybe two, socializing as he got to know the regulars at the bar. The ones who found their way there day after day, hearts too heavy to do anything but numb the pain. He’d go there and listen to their stories and help carry their burdens, lift them off their shoulders. He would be the person that everybody knew—knew was safe, knew was loving, knew would listen. The bartender would call him the ‘unofficial shrink’, and Jesus would smile and order another glass of water, ready to drive home whoever would need it that night.

He’d know the feel of gauze beneath his fingers as he wrapped it around a friend’s bleeding wrist. He wouldn’t ask, wouldn’t pry, just patiently clean and treat it with careful, calming touches. The story would eventually come tumbling out in the bathroom and Jesus would draw them close, hugging tightly, and do whatever he could to find the best help available when asked, when needed.

He would know the drained, yet relieved, morning after feel the day after (of?) a three a.m. phone call from a person who was desperate, because they didn’t know who else they could turn to. He would know the days when one cup of coffee isn’t enough to wake him up, where two cups of coffee almost doesn’t do it either, but the lethargy and the headache and the bags under his eyes are worth it because the person he was talking to is okay. He would do it again in a heartbeat, too.

He would always have somebody staying in his spare bedroom—if he wasn’t staying in somebody else’s spare bedroom himself. He knows what it is to be without a roof over his head, without a blanket to pull over his cold body, and he would do whatever he could to make sure others didn’t need to experience it—even just for a night. He’d keep an eye out for help wanted ads and help his friends on the street with their resumes and pay for their haircut and nice clothing for the interview, and he’d buy them dinner after whether they got the job or not.

He would know the need to go and grab another box of kleenex as the person at his kitchen table can’t help but cry at the feeling of not being enough, of needing to change themselves before people would love them, before they would be accepted. He would know the heave of their shoulders beneath his hand as he comforted them, reassured them that they are enough, that they are wonderful and beautiful and amazing and loved. So, so loved.

He would know the feeling of a tight bank account, not because he doesn’t know how to manage his finances, but because there are other people who need it more. Who need food for their families and clothing for their children and money for their rent. He would give of himself and build relationships with these people, connections with them, encouraging them to keep going. To keep striving. That life isn’t out to get them, and that they can succeed.

He would know the pain of a harsh word, thrown at him by a hurting soul, and he would stand tall and take it because sometimes a broken heart just needs to shout.

If Jesus lived today, he would smell like smoke. Not because he approves or because he doesn’t care, but because he knows that to love isn’t just being pleasant to other people and giving them a smile, it’s crawling into the trenches with them.

I loved your response about Margery Kempe, but I take issue with the "too heavenly minded" quote. Borrowing from Randy Alcorn's book Heaven, being heavenly minded is something missed in the Church today. Paul was very heavenly minded, but that drove him to focus all the more on serving Christ on earth. I think the two go hand-in-hand for Christians. If our heavenly focus is neglected, we are more likely to become wrapped up in things of this world that do not last.

Aw hi! Thanks for that :) I'm really happy you took the time to tell me that you liked my response. And also, that is a very excellent point!  I agree that there is definitely a rampant and dangerous pandemic of people who are far too earthly minded to be of any heavenly good. And really, I'd rather be of heavenly good than of earthly good because forever is an awfully long time, and if what I do only has any significance in this world, then I've essentially accomplished nothing. I suppose that I used the quote rather flippantly because I agree with you that heavenly thinking should truly be our motivator for...everything. And that everything we do in this world should be done with the consciousness of the double consequences: natural and supernatural consequences. Again, thanks so much for stopping by to chat :) And thank you for pointing out that blind spot in my earlier response. :) 

Jesus is radical. Grace is radical. The Gospel is radical. Christianity isn't for the faint at heart.

I received an Anonymous question...oh, quite some time ago...asking me what I thought of Mormons. Well, I didn't know what I thought of Mormons; had never even asked myself what I thought of Mormons until I read the question. I have since embarked on quite the daunting quest of discovering the differences between Mormonism and mainstream Christianity, i.e. Catholic, Pentecostal, Baptist, Anglican, Salvation Army, etc.). I'm quite interested and I'm trying to become as informed as I possibly can, to give you an unbiased answer. Please be patient with me :) I'll get there!