DO YOU WISH TO CONTINUE?

Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like: 

“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?” 

“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.” 

“…Noted.” 

“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.” 

“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”

“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”

“Yeah.”

“Does such a process not hurt?”

“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.” 

“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?” 

“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?” 

“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.” 

What the entire fucl

me: *explains my adhd*

some dumbass neurotipical: um no sweaty that’s not how it works :) i know more than you, someone with adhd, and trained professionals :)))

I’m so confused... like why are churches and some religions saying that men can control women because they’re simply property and that men have the right to objectify the fuck out of women when in most of the bible verses, Jesus says to all of his disciples to respect the women... like Jesus literally suggested his disciples physically harm themselves so they wouldn’t do the things that churches and those few religions are saying is a-ok??? 

"my adhd doesn't affect my everyday life"

Leg bouncy

Hmmm, lemme just fucking pace around for an hour

where is my figdet toy, Where Is My figdet toy, where is mY FIGDET-

Hand tappy

I wanna touch that, but I shouldn't, but I wanna

IF I STOP MOVING I'LL FUCKING EXPLODE

I need to sleep but brain is like, let's fucking tap out the beat to 5 different songs and think about theories about how the universe started

Can't. Sit. Still. For. More. Then. 10. Seconds.

I know I'm talking fast but I can't stop, I don't want to be doing this either.

I'm more annoyed about myself then you will ever be

I have a test tomorrow fucKING SLEEEP

B o u n c y l e g

MOVEMENT

"yOu WoUlD rEmEmBeR iF iT wAs ImPoRtAnT"

"What time is it?"

"what did you say."

"What tim-"

"7:34"

Talk at the speed of light or stumble over every other word (sometimes both)

"what happened on Jan 3?"

"i sang the same song 23 times in a row while taping my forehead"

"Who was the 2nd president of the United States?"

Learned abt this yesterday "......Thomas Edison or something."

Feel free to add more (this is from mostly personal experience)

“sides” of tumblr

Science side- smol gay science lovers wanting to educate people.  v nice Animal side- Happy ppl ecstatic over animals and want everyone to know. Strangely knows a lot about otters. Art side- tHESE FUCKERS ARE AMAZING AT ART. 10/10. Know history about famous artists. “did you know this dude painted a asshole as a fuck you to this other dude? haha!” Plant side- Tol nice people who honestly just like gardening. No drama, it’s paradise.  History side- SMOL ANGRY ASSHOLES WHO WILL EITHER GIVE CORRECT INFORMATION OR JUST MESS WITH YOU. ONLY IS NICE TO MUSICAL SIDE.

Musical side- these fuckers are the best. Will show you gOOD ASS SONGS, LIKES HISTORY SIDE BECAUSE OF THINGS LIKE HAMILTON.

I think that men who rape/ sexually harass/ abuse women should be given the death penalty. I don’t care what she was wearing or that he “has a bright future”. The women who were raped/ sexually harassed/ abused could’ve also had a bright future, but his dick is apparently more important to human survival rather than women who are brilliant and creative having their entire life ruined for something they didn’t deserve. EVER.

I discovered the ADHD haver’s best friend:

a mac app called helium that puts Netflix in a tiny floating window on your screen that you can make translucent and also click through, so you can watch tv and surf the web at the same time, it’s great

(That’s more see through than I like but this way it shows up in the picture)

Happy multitasking y’all!

Different types of fairies

Not all are listed, only a few, there are far too many...

Brownies

They’re the most helpful, they help with chores and around the house.

They expect a food offering

Never offer money, they consider this poor taste and they will mess up your house.

Pixies

They’re mischievous and can be dangerous.

They play tricks, especially on travelers.

They’re known to lead people into bogs and swamps. (It’s not uncommon for someone to get caught in quick sand and die)

Leprechauns

Solitary

They don’t venture into places with humans.

Dwarves

German folklore

Ugly and extremely strong.

They’re friendly unless offended, then they may become harmful.

They’re proud of their craftsmanship-> furniture and iron work.

Watch your manners around them.

Elves

Scandinavians brought their tales to the English isles during the Viking conquest.

There are two kinds-

dark and light.

They have magical powers to enchant people.

They move between their world and ours.

Changeling

Spoke about them in previous post.

Fauns

They have horns on their head, a human torso and they’re goat below the waist.

Live in the Woodland Forrest’s.

They’re alluring, seductive and compelling.

They can prey on their victims by using mind control and magic conjured from their pipes or flute.

Elves say that if you see one try to avert your eyes because once they’ve got your attention, you’re under their control.

They’re neutral creatures but they can be dangerous.

Gnomes

They’re shy and cautious.

They seek only the company of their own kind.

They’re extremely short- maybe 9 inches.

They can be master healers.

They’re found in the most isolated areas.

Hobgoblins

Solitary

Dark brown creature.

Lives in Forrest’s in trees.

They’re neutral and keep to themselves.

Not aggressive unless provoked.

It may be best to leave them alone.

Ugh throwback to some thread i saw in Elliot’s tag where someone was confused about why Elliot didn’t just continue taking his meds. Like 

1) You’ve clearly never taken a medication ( or multiple ) with shitty side effects that makes it hard to maintain and it shows.  2) You don’t treat DID with meds so it wouldn’t have blocked MR’s interactions entirely or maybe at all. Elliot wasn’t taking meds for that to begin with nor being treated for it because he didn’t know about it yet. He was being medicated for his hallucinations/paranoid delusions, depression and anxiety.  3) I think we can safely assume Elliot both felt at times paranoid about taking his meds and other times MR was dumping them (probably more often than not) because they affect him too and he’s paranoid about being cut off from Elliot even though they probably wouldn’t have but it’s easier for him to convince Elliot of things when he’s a little less than stable.  Edit: 4) NOT TO MENTION ELLIOT CHOSE TO SELF MEDICATE WITH MORPHINE SO THERE’S THAT. So that’s him medicating in his mind. Or how he chose to because it was easier on him.