Ouch

I went to high school with a girl who said we should check the other planets for the dinasours because when the meteor hit they probably got catapulted away :(

and how can you be sure she’s wrong

So long, so gone

What have you been doing all this time? Did you learn anything new? Did you try anything new? Did you live or survived? 

Maybe we should all really try harder -not on the emotional meaning of course-- but on the physical and rational way, go for it, try it, risk it. 

sick tricks

"My soul is the mirror of the universe, and my body is its frame."

-Voltaire; Micromegas

I have a huge problem of always saying that I will be better and never actually being. I’ve been my entire life waiting for God’s magical power of changing to follow on me. I’ve been always waiting for the morning I would wake up and be a good person and it never came, it never happen. It is hard to be so self-conscious, it is hard to be all the time waiting to be good all the time, to be perfect all the time, to never be aggressive, to never make anyone sad, to be always the perfect human being that never commits mistakes. 

And honestly it is not because of this text that I will be better but maybe one day I will wake up and magically be perfect or be magically not giving two fucks about being perfect or not 

As infuriating as it is to see all the posts and screencaps on linked in and twitter and stuff saying “If you don’t be productive and do that project during this quarantine the problem is that you’re lazy”, there’s a lot of positivity out there saying to practice self care too, so it kind of evens out in my head.

What’s WAY MORE INFURIATING for me is that I WANT to write! I have a million ideas and all the motivation a writer could ever want, but I have to consistently keep putting it all on the back burner to focus on school which is charging ahead into finals week with my attention vaguely being dragged along as it tries to follow the butterflies instead, being jerked forward into and around deadlines just as I was about to catch up to the elusive pretty.