Who Spilled The Jar Of Dalmatian Puppies On The Stairs Again?

Considering my irl name is already kind of oxymoronic at face value I could argue that I’m already there. (No you don’t get to know.)

if you were an ace attorney character what would your pun name be

I was an athlete and I fucking hated it.

Something that’s not widely spoken on is how dysmorphic you can feel in your own body when you’ve been doing sports from a young age. I felt like I looked masculine. I felt I had too much muscle tone. I didn’t feel like a woman at all, much less myself. For better context, I was a competitive swimmer for four almost five years straight. Starting in fourth grade, ending around the beginning of highschool. My body had no softness or curves. I was stick thin in some areas and bulking in others (think inverted dorito with a flat tummy and like a-cups because I couldn’t manage to keep on enough fat for tits att). I was always hungry. And I’ve never been physically competitive in my life. Practices that I once enjoyed (because they were for children and had fun games like sharks and minnows) and eventually tired of went from one hour almost immediately after school, to an hour and a half and two hours on weekends, and then to two hours everyday for the entire week. Recall: I didn’t choose this sport. My step sister did. I wanted to try other things, was told “no this will help you get into college you’re good at this.” I was not good at that, I was OK at it. The other part of that: I would likely have to swim in college if it did help me, and I wanted to GTFO not swim for a college team. I fought with my mom a lot as a result. I was already in a bad spot mentally. There were many practices where I just got so upset I would swim and cry because I didn’t fucking want to be there, and I would backtalk my coaches if they pissed me off, and then my mom would get mad at me for making the coaches mad and making her look bad. Fun fact about swimming in Florida! THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS AN OFF SEASON!

That’s right. I was swimming in pools and attending practice year round, no fucking breaks to be a kid. Everyday. Middle of the afternoon. Yippee. I had no friends at practice, some kids would claw at anything they could grab and yank you backwards. FUN! Everyone was always so about it and very competitive. (Recall: I am not a physically competitive person unless we’re talking hide and seek or cops and robbers back when I was like 7 and I couldn’t go home till the streetlight came on). Everyone judged me for my lack of enthusiasm. I didn’t really care because I genuinely didn’t want to be there. My mother made me attend every meet. I almost got hypothermia at one meet, my coach had to force my mother to take me home because my muscles locked up and I had to start forcing myself to shiver. (For context; yes this was in Florida, it was a December morning that was devoid of sun, strong winds, grey sky no sunlight all day, slightly rainy, 40° F ambient temperature, outdoor pool with a shitty pool heater, and opposing teams had used all the hot water left in the showers. All my gear was soaked through and wouldn’t dry— remember no sun, it was cold and rainy— so I just stayed wet in-between events. Events that were very delayed and had hours of gap time between them. This is not even including windchill. I had been there since seven in the morning. My mom just told me to do laps before my events to warm up- my body was no longer producing heat I’m pretty sure, because I would jump on my toes, and I was so terribly cold in my damp parka that the cement felt like it was bending under my feet. I didn’t leave until just after twelve I think). There were meets like once or twice a month and unless I made plans and begged (recall: no friends on the team, very few irl) I was going regardless of whether I wanted to attend or not.

I had five panic attacks while at that pool :) each on separate occasions due to stress from homework and all the other shit I had waiting for me at home.

I was once sexual harassed by a group of girls who thought it was funny and chased for a short while by them while walking to my practice once. Didn’t tell my mom or the school, they wouldn’t have believed me or done anything anyways so I didn’t see a point.

Towards the end of my swimming career I was skipping practices whenever I could get away with it. I really hated it by then. My mom actually once told me people were judging me for my excoriation disorder from my step sisters team, and that I should just stop picking my skin, because it was making my step sister look bad because our parents were dating and I have ocd from trauma. :)

Anyways. Yeah. I wore glasses, had braces and exertion induced asthma, so I literally do not like most sports. I usually ended up with a ball hitting me in the face because some jock kicked it without looking while I walked the track. I now work around a pool and that was the best thing to ever come from my swimming career, and I mean that with complete sincerity.

Feel free to talk about your experiences in tags/replies/ect, and reblog if you'd like. I've been quite curious about this lately

“What could the symbolism possibly be? What could this mean?!”

-Dan and Arin, hosts of the silly video game channel

Desirée: I feel in love with my Ronnie at first sight because he came to defend me and he saved me even though he was a stranger.

Phoenix:

Okay and he’s eatin it up in that dress, lil’ man is serving.

Bro this sinus infection is kicking my ass.

So is Chem II but we’re not going to talk about my shit professor driving me up the wall when I sound like a prepubescent boy with the amount of croaking and voice cracks I’m having.

Gods pray for me. I don’t know how imma get through this semester but I will somehow make it work in my favor in the end. Somehow.

This is it. This is their dynamic. We’ve figured it out. Pack it up everybody, we’ve found it at last!

The whole Phoenix poker coding vs. Edgeworth chess coding thing gets me every time.

Like the contrast between the two games, how they way they’re played perfectly reflects each of their styles of law please god I need more ships that do this it’s so hyper specific tho

Can I do that with my entire life? Just… reschedule and sleep this off…

Just gonna be extra leftist and extra queer for the next four years and hope I don’t get hate-crimed by some frat guy who doesn’t understand consent.

And if I do I’m gonna hope extra hard the media doesn’t cover it up by saying “but this would ruin his future! And it’s so very bright!”

Anything going on today lol

Okay, as an American studying to become a botanist I’m about to fire shots in every direction. None of you are safe, not even myself, but there are things about this post that have pissed me off to the point of righteous anger.

American chestnut is functionally extinct yes, except for a few remaining colonies, however, that’s not because of most Americans, just as you, previous person, said your issues are not because of most of the British- as Americans relied on chestnuts as a cultural symbol and a food source as they taste arguably better (or so I’m told) than the European chestnuts that were exported to us carrying chestnut blight that killed our chestnuts. Those same stumps ARE STILL TRYING TO SEND OUT SUCKERS, and are STILL DYING BECAUSE OF AN INTRODUCED BLIGHT BY EUROPEAN NEGLIGENCE.

I understand you’re mad at the lack of education on our side, I am as well- the American education system FAILS at teaching botany on a MULTITUDE of ENORMOUS levels, and you and I both know that plant life is the basis of an ecosystem, but don’t you dare think that this means I’m not infuriated by the same from you- I am. I KNOW FOR A FACT that Europe is no better in its failure to find value in botanical studies, and I’m still pissed about it, but I’ve at least seen a few papers about the subject and written a few essays myself, and at least Europe isn’t the near-dead-static radio silence about botany the way America seems to be. But at least know that this is a two way street, and don’t deflect about that shortcoming when we’re both at fault.

The prairies??? That was misguided science and capitalism instilling laziness. We had rules and laws about rewilding areas post mining expeditions and construction, but those were ignored by greedy corps who figured slapping some trees on an area that didn’t have trees before would solve their problem. And the people in charge weren’t ecologists, but government officials who heard in school that trees give us oxygen and are therefore better than grass, and so with being slid a little extra cash, shrugged their shoulders about it and turned a blind eye to the issue because “well it’s just trees” and BOY, AM I MAD ABOUT THAT TOO, but being MAD, and BEING ABLE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT are two very different ball parks, babe.

Then there was climate crisis attention in the nineties, and although the intentions of the campaigns were pure-hearted, they were misleading in the idea that planting trees Willy-nilly would solve our problems, and while yes, trees are larger organisms that need more co2 to grow to max size, and therefore absorb more carbon, not all trees are created equal, and while some non-natives might absorb more CO2 or do better in certain regions, more of the people supplying and planting those invasive trees have no ability, much less a concept of even recognizing the potential for something to become invasive. Another failure of our shitty education system, but we already know it’s shit, so that’s besides the point.

The grasses and monocultures of lawns we have are a direct spawn of English colonialism. Lawns were managed by slaves and considered a sign of wealth- and non-natural ornamental landscapes were seen as a sign of knowledge and skill to tend.

American pioneers and natives didn’t give two shits about those things, and though we aren’t blameless for the slew of invasive ravaging our ecosystems, Britain is no saint in this either. Y’all have a government that fears and respects Its people and their voices; do not squander your opportunity, when here in America, trying to get through to a politician bought out by lobbyists to get off their asses and do something is clearly MUCH HARDER than you all seem to think it is because capitalism is unchecked over here.

You have the science. You have the opportunity. Fight the status quo and take a risk while you have a chance to. Right your wrongs. There’s no excuse to not. At least we make an effort and fight, even though every step forward feels like a step backwards because politicians and public figures here usually have their pockets and offices lined so thick with wads of cash they can’t seem to hear us screaming in the streets. So many organizations out here are all desperately scrounging for donations and support individually to step up where our governing bodies ran like cowardly father figures going out for milk and cigarettes and then simply ignoring the issues we’ve being screeching about like it’s not something young people are mad about on the daily. Also, you lost lynxes??? Reintroduce them. Yes you’re on an island, that doesn’t stop animals, and it hasn’t before. They will adapt so long as you let them. You can fix the damage that’s been done, all it takes is effort and time, and a willingness to take a chance to make a change.

Moreover. You ALSO EAT THOSE STOLEN CROPS.

TOMATOES. CORN. SQUASH. BEANS. TOMATILLOS.

YOU EAT THOSE TOO!

And what about the Cinnamon? The Mace? The nutmeg? The British stole those from the people of India. The tea you’ve monopolized as your own? That’s from China and Japan. You don’t even drink it right. You’re suppose to pour out the first steep according to Chinese tea practices. And they sold it for far cheaper to the British at the time. The wheat? Grains? Ethiopia, that’s from the Fertile Crescent. Your very bread is made of a stolen crop.

Your fruits? All of it, stolen. The Mediterranean originally grew mint, oregano, rosemary, olives, and cabbage.

Do you indulge in chocolate? That was stolen by your Spanish neighbors from the Aztecs and Mayans darling. Chewing gum too.

We didn’t even steal half the crops we grow, imperialism did, so don’t even start there. Many of the natives crops are viable solutions to local food, but guess what? WE DONT FREAKING USE THEM!

You wanna get mad at us for something? Get mad that we don’t use acorn and coontie flour instead of wheat. Get mad that we don’t use elderberries and American cherries in jams as much as we should. Get mad that we haven’t cultivated the pawpaw or Florida plum as much as we should. Get mad that we don’t use sumac, or Kentucky coffee. Get mad that blueberries and cranberries aren’t a main staple in our diets, and because of capitalism-caused food deserts and absurd prices. Get mad that we don’t eat local meats, but farm instead of forage when there’s so much we could be eating to cut back on our waste, but we don’t because humans are prissy and don’t want to put the effort into making things taste good by selective breeding like we did when we were nomadic and still figuring out agriculture. Get mad that we could be eating our way through our kudzu problem in the south, but we aren’t because it’s just not something we do culturally.

Get mad about the things we can be faulted for, because at least we can actually try and control those.

The moral of the story here is we should be fucking mad at the GREED OF THE FEW. At the end of the day, that’s what’s caused us the most problems isn’t it? Instead we sit here and we bicker about who’s worse, instead of making each other better. Like you said, let’s not throw stones at each other from our stupid glass houses, and burn down the people who are actually responsible and have the means to do something but instead choose to do nothing.

Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form

I found my first grey hair bro.

My eye has been twitching nonstop for weeks at this point, it comes down over spring break, but it came back the minute I thought about this fuck ass class.

I’m only twenty one.

It’s too late for me. Save yourselves.

(I’m not passing that class this teacher is ASS LMFAO)

Bro this sinus infection is kicking my ass.

So is Chem II but we’re not going to talk about my shit professor driving me up the wall when I sound like a prepubescent boy with the amount of croaking and voice cracks I’m having.

Gods pray for me. I don’t know how imma get through this semester but I will somehow make it work in my favor in the end. Somehow.

CHAPTER EIGHT IS UP BABES LESSS GO