How Do You Deal With Your Parents Manipulation. How Do You Deal With Awful Ex-friends Who Shit In You

How do you deal with your parents manipulation. How do you deal with awful ex-friends who shit in you for being who you are? How do you deal with knowing every fucking day that you will never again be able to regain the days you lost laying in bed, feeling like you want to die but knowing you can't? How do you deal with the person you love, bullying you and pretending to care about your mental health when really, they're the reason you want to die? How do you deal with being invalidated all the fucking time because of something you can't control? How do you deal with not understanding what or who you are because your parents never cared to take you to get checked? How do you deal with the constant urge to cut your hair as short as you can, and wearing three fucking sports bras with two undershirts and a hot hoodie, just to feel like a guy? How do you deal with knowing you used to have the world and now you just have objects? How do you deal with feeling like you don't have a family because none of them have ever cared to ask who you were? How do you deal with having to listen to music at full volume on your headphones because your mother and your sister are fighting? How do you deal with feeling like a burden to everyone?