Daveandyourwife - Untitled

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What's the matter, Alex? Afraid to give your best friend's wife a little back rub?

Your best friend lives just down the street from you and your wife and he and his wife used to socialize with the two of you quite regularly. But then, a couple of months ago, his wife walked out on him and it was obvious that he was devastated and depressed as a result. And so, your wife decided she would try to do something to help him get over what had happened.

The first thing she did was to invite him to your house for dinner. He ended up coming over several nights in a row, but then said he felt awkward about imposing -- so then your wife decided to make dinner for him and she brought it to him at his house and stayed to keep him company.

The next night she did the same thing, and that became her routine. Some nights she would bring dinner with her, and some nights he would pick something up. Either way, she would have dinner with him.

A couple of times you suggested that both of you go to his place for dinner, but your wife pointed out that if you were there too, he would feel like a fifth wheel and it would just make him feel lonely and depressed even more, so you agreed it was better if she went alone. And you also actually complained once or twice about her having dinner with him every night, but that made her a bit angry with you and she told you that you were just being thoughtless and selfish.

Some nights your wife returned right after dinner, but she also soon started to sometimes stay to watch TV with him during the evening and not get back home until after you went to bed. You also became aware -- from facebook postings mainly -- that they sometimes went out to dinner together and had begun socializing with other couples.

Not surprisingly, you were feeling somewhat lonely and rejected -- and even replaced -- but you knew that she would not be happy with you if you complained, so you did your best to simply cope with how things were. But then, one evening, after having a couple of glasses of wine, you decided to sneak over to his house to peek in on them to see what they were doing.

When you quietly peeked through the window of his family/TV room, he saw that the two of them were, indeed, sitting and watching TV -- sort of. The TV was on and they were seated on a loveseat in front of the TV, and you could see that he had his arm around her and she had her head on his shoulder and her hand on his leg, and from time to time she broke from watching whatever was on TV to start to kiss him -- on the neck, and his cheek, and passionately on his lips, kisses that he returned with obvious pleasure.

It was obvious where this was headed, but you weren't sure what to do, so after fifteen or twenty minutes you slunk away back home. That night, your wife didn't return until quite late, and when she did, you still didn't say anything about what you had seen, even though there was no question in your mind that their relationship had become quite romantic and intimate.

But the next day you let slip to her what you had done and seen. You had expected that she would be contrite and apologize, but that isn't how she reacted. Instead, she was angry with you and told you to never do that again, and that your feelings of jealousy and hurt were petty and that you should just get over it, because she had no intention of changing what she did with him.