Me Watching Them Fight

AYEEEE WHO READY TO GET PREGNANT WITH SHINJI'S CHILD ???? 🔥🔥🔥🔥

thanks for the tag @pinguwuuuu 😘😘😘😘

What's the origin of your username? i've been on and off tumblr for a long time, mostly lurking/reading (this is the first time i've ever been actively posting hehe), and the last account i had before this one, i was waaaaay into the star wars and harry potter fandoms so my username kind of combines both of those (darth for the sith lords from sw, and whorecrux is a spin of horcrux from hp but like whore bc i'm a whore). sw and hp may not be as much my jam anymore but they'll always hold a piece of my heart so i came back under the same name :D

OTP(s) + shipname: bbrae (beast boy and raven from teen titans will ALWAYS be my og), asta and noelle from black clover (idk if they have a ship name or what it is), ichihime (ichigo and orihime obviiii), harley quinn and poison ivy, eren and mikasa, and probably so many more im missing...

Favourite colour: pink!!!

Song stuck in my head: Battery by Metallica. im seeing them in concert in may! super excited, i love them soooo much and the beginning of that song is so Hueco Mundo/Arrancar coded hehehehe

Weirdest habit/trait: i'm an early bird! i usually go to bed early (when i can) because i like to be up early, especially on the weekends when i don't have to get ready for work! i like how slow and peaceful the mornings are and how i can be alone

Hobbies: reading, writing, walking, lifting, listening to music, singing, dancing, playing video games, doing my makeup, scrapbooking, etc. >:)

If you could have any job you wish what would you have? it would be sooooo cool to be an author/writer but writing big book is hard!!!

Something you’re good at: listening. i attract the yappers for sure lol

Something you hate: explosive people. i hate being around people where it feels like i'm walking on eggshells trying not to aggravate them. it freaks me out, makes me super upset, and exhausts me

Something you forget: that life doesn't have to be all or nothing. when i'm doing bad or get slightly overwhelmed i slip into that mindset, but not everything is that simple! i don't need to put myself into a box or be perfectly one thing or the other!

Your love language: i literally don't know. i think im a combo of like everything except for gift giving (i suck at giving gifts and i hate receiving them!). maybe acts of service mostly??? i like to show ppl i care by trying to make them happy or lighten the load for them!

Favourite movies/shows: soooo many 😭 Bleach OBVI, jujutsu kaisen, my hero academia, death note, attack on titan, mob psycho 100, rick and morty, breaking bad, squid game, girl interrupted, scream franchise, child's play franchise, halloween franchise, (okay so like any of the classic slasher franchises), and so much more i'm sure im forgetting :P

Favourite food: i loveeeee food! if i must choose one, pasta!!! chicky alfredo

Favourite animal: goat 🐐♑️

What were you like as a child? so weird and kind of a troublemaker. and then i hit puberty and i was like woooow so it's not funny for me to be weird anymore because i'm a lady now?!?! and i got really quiet and have been since

Favourite subject in school: math

Least favourite subject: history

What’s your best character trait: i like to think that i'm kind and keep an open mind. i'm not perfect so i definitely have bad and bitter days, but i used to be very very sad and i don't want anyone to feel that way. i totally rock with the idea that you never know what kind of battle someone is fighting behind the scenes so you should be kind to everyone 🫶🏼

What’s your worst character trait? i'm suuuuuuch a puss and i hate confrontation, like to the point where it's seriously problematic and i will let ppl/things ruin my life rather than confront them UGH or i will just go ghost to avoid explaining why i don't want someone in my life anymore which is not healthy either! (always working on it 🥲)

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? i'm pretty content! but if i have to choose something, maybe more meaningful connections with others. after college i don't have a lot of close friends nearby. i like to be alone but i probably spend a little too much time by myself lol. i'd also love to not have to work buuuuut unfortunately that's not an option 🥺

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? my grandmother. she died before i was born and from all that i hear about her she sounds like she was an incredible woman and i wish i had gotten the chance to know her

NO PRESSURE TAGS: @cloudyempress @bucciaratizippers @mayurisstalker @keigolover123

Get to know mutuals ^-^ tagged by @bankaizen (thank you for the tag ❤️)

I'm sorry, it's so long!! I'm putting it behind the read more for easier reading.

What’s the origin of your username? It's a song by Armand Van Helden! He's one of my favourite DJs haha.

OTP(s) + shipname: TUna LMAO (Tidus/Yuna) from FFX, Fanille (Fang/Vanille from FFXIII), Touya/Yukito from CCS, GinRan and Unohana/Isane from Bleach. Yakuza: Daigo/Mine. Also a big fan of Canon Character/OCs!!!

Favourite colour: Turquoise/teal - most of my fountain pen inks are in that colour range lol

Song stuck in my head: The Macrodata Refinement Dance Party mixed by ODESZA

Weirdest habit/trait: If I'm at a restaurant, I fold my used napkins neatly to be disposed of.

Hobbies: I have a lot! Aside from writing, there are:

(junk) journaling, which in turn, lead me to my stationery and fountain pen hobbies

playing the piano (been playing since I was 5)

swimming (was a competitive swimmer for most of my child and teenage years)

I garden in the spring/summertime

I also love to cook and have done dinner parties for my friends (but I don't enjoy baking)

I'm also into photography

I wish I had more time in the day for it, but I also try to do some language learning!

If you could have any job you wish what would you have? A food/travel writer/reviewer!

Something you’re good at: I've been told I'm good at giving advice and listening to people. Personally I'm very good at directions! There have been a few times where I've been stopped on the street and helped people navigate their way around.

Something you hate: Oranges :(, I can't stand the colour, the smell and the taste.

Something you forget: Hmmm not sure! I guess phone numbers. I only remember the numbers of my immediate family...

Your love language: Gift giving! I love getting people gifts and try hard to get something meaningful and/or practical. I'll try to remember little details about my friends and find something along the lines of that. I also love receiving gifts lol.

Favourite movies/shows: Ahhh so many! For animanga: Bleach, Samurai Champloo, xxxHOLiC, Sailor Moon, JJBA Diamond is Unbreakable. For movies: Spirited Away, Sorry to Bother You, Drive, Kill Bill Vol 2, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, The Fall. Shows: Hannibal, Regular Show, 30 Rock, Prison Playbook (k-drama), Hotel del Luna (k-drama), Racket Boys (k-drama).

Favourite food: Too many... I think I could eat soup dumplings/xiaolongbao by the bucket loads. Or Sri Lankan crab curry mmmm. I also can't say no to chocolate cake 🫣

Favourite animal: bears!!! I know they could kill me, but why are they friend-shaped :(

What were you like as a child? I was an easygoing child and VERY curious. I would wake up in the middle of the night to do "science" experiments. Like one time I woke up around 3am and I dug up the front yard to find "cool rocks" 💀 or buy mentos from the local convenience store, wait for everyone to go to bed, then sneak into the kitchen and put the mentos in my parents 2L coke bottle to see it explode LMAO.

Favourite subject in school: i've been in school for too long: french & geography -> science -> physics -> biology -> advanced health economics for low and middle-income countries & biostatistics

Least favourite subject: Wood working... to avoid a fail, I asked the guy who had a crush on me to help me with my final project 🫣 I also hated organic chemistry in undergrad.

What’s your best character trait: I've been told I'm very caring and calming to be around! I had a friend describe me as a "human version of a spa" 💀

What’s your worst character trait? I cut people out of my life very easily. I think I should be more forgiving, but I just... can't get passed whatever slight was made to me/loved ones. I'm trying to be understanding and compassionate, but I also don't want you near me ever again lol.

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? I hope trump and his administration dies. In my immediate life? I'd like a higher salary.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? It is definitely a tie between Johann Sebastian Bach and Muzio Clementi!! They are my favourite composers. My piano exam repertoire for the Baroque and Classical periods were from their piano repertoire. I have so much fun playing them and would love to learn their thought processes.

I tag: @soprawrites @villainsrtasty @nail-art-no-jutsu @muzansfangs @snuggetfish @if-dreams-do-come-true and any others who want to do this too (also feel free to ignore if you don't wanna do this, no obligation at all!!)

I know I'm a week early, but I was excited to write something Valentine's Day related!

TW: I was in heat when I wrote this. Mentions alcohol, lots of smut, p in v penetration, face sitting, etc...Tiny bits of a little angst at the end buuut nothing our glorious king Reigen Arataka can't fix ;)

What happens when you, a lonely single, meets your friend Reigen, another lonely single, at a bar on a Friday night that also happens to be Valentine's Day?

Valentine's Day was on a Friday this year, and you celebrated by treating yourself to a whole bottle of wine. You were only halfway through it when you felt brave enough to text your friend Reigen, the insufferable screwball you had such a massive crush on.

You kept it simple, asking what he was up to for the evening. One thing led to another, and you were forgetting all about your wine and plans for isolation, getting dolled up to meet him at the bar. You'd never even approached first base with him, but you still pulled on a sweet and seductive matching set of lingerie under your outfit, just in case! It was a day for love after all.

When you arrived he was already seated at the bar, his glass half empty and his cheeks already flushed. You sauntered up to him, plopping down at his side and ordering a glass of wine. He wore his usual crisp, gray suit and pink tie, but under the tacky pink lighting in the bar for the occasion, it made him appear a bit more roguish and artfully messy. Maybe it was the way his hair fell against his forehead, knotted from continuously running his hand through it or maybe you just had too much wine coursing through your veins, warming your body and sending you into a spiraling heat, but the mere sight of him had you clenching your thighs together. You tried not to look too excited.

"Hey," Reigen greeted. "Couldn't handle spending tonight alone, could you?" He grinned teasingly.

"I just got bored." You rolled your eyes at him playfully. "And you came."

"I did come." He chuckled gruffly. It took great effort for you to keep your composure, thinking of innuendos in your head but not daring to utter them aloud.

The bartender set your glass of wine before you, and Reigen ordered him to put it on his tab. You smirked as you tipped the glass back, taking a generous sip. You felt a swell of pride, the usually frugal man who wasn't so cheap with you. "Thank you," you breathed.

"No problem." He was trying to remain nonchalant, but his leg bounced next to yours as he downed the rest of his drink.

The two of you talked about generic things, the holiday, work, what shows you were watching, books you were reading, video games you were playing, all of the socially acceptable, boring things. All the while, his leg kept bouncing. It was distracting really.

You laid a hand on his thigh just above his knee to steady it.

Reigen gave you a puzzled look, glancing down at your hand and back up. At the tiniest hint of judgment, you were retracting your hand, cheeks warming shamefully. "Sorry. You were fidgeting," you muttered the lame excuse, nervously drinking more of your wine.

To your surprise, after you had set your glass back down, he grabbed your hand, spreading it back over his thigh, even a little higher this time.

"Can I try some of that?" He nodded towards your wine as if nothing had just happened.

"Ye - yeah." You quickly pushed the glass towards him, your mouth running dry. Now your hand felt heavy on his leg. You watched him carefully as he took a large drink from your glass before pushing it back over your way, licking his lips.

"It's good," he told you after a long moment of staring at each other. "Getting kind of empty. You want another?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe in a bit," you hummed, watching him curiously. You dragged your hand down and off his leg, grinning wickedly, your confidence returning at his encouragement. "Or I can finish it and we can go have some elsewhere?"

"I have some at home." Reigen shrugged. "Let me close my tab."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You were delightedly surprised at how quickly your plans were falling into place. Like a gentleman, Reigen walked you inside his apartment, holding the door open for you and taking your coat and purse. Not so much like a gentleman, his lips were on yours almost instantly, forcing his tongue into your mouth as his hands on your hips held you against him.

You squeaked, a small sound of surprise that made him pull back, looking unsure of himself. "Sorry - is this okay?"

"Yes," you giggled. "I was just a little surprised at how aggressive you're being."

Worry flashed across his features, his hands dropping away from your waist. "Shit, I'm sorry," he muttered again.

"No, no." You grabbed his hands, guiding them back to where they were. "I want you to manhandle me."

A beat passed as your words processed in Reigen's mind. "Oh fuck." His hands went limp on your hips, eyes darkening and jaw going slack. "Fuck," he repeated, looking desperate now.

"Is something wrong?" You teased.

"No," he spoke just loud enough for you to hear. He watched you carefully, eyes darting about your features to search for any sign of hesitation. "You're sure you want this?"

"More than sure." You nodded. He'd see just how sure you were if he got far enough to glimpse your matching underwear.

Your head spun with your wine buzz as Reigen whisked you along to his bedroom. He fell atop his mattress with you on top, straddling his waist. He groaned pathetically while you returned your mouth to its position against his, tongues unceremoniously exploring each other. It was drunken and filthy, the way you practically drooled into his mouth. His hands shamelessly explored your body now, starting at your waist and stopping at your ass, groping and squeezing your plush skin. You shuddered as he lifted the bottom hem of your dress over the curve of your bum to fondle the bare skin, his fingers grazing your clothed pussy.

"Reigen," you gasped into his mouth.

"Yeah?" He laughed cockily. "Is something wrong?" He mocked. It was really a game of push and pull between you two. When one of you lost confidence, the other was there to do enough uplifting for the both of you. When one of you acted more desperate, the other was there to taunt and tease. You enjoyed this game with him, this balance. You liked taking turns, moment by moment, deciding who was the cat and who was the mouse.

"Please - just take it off." You didn't care how desperate you sounded, since he was the one doing the teasing now, and it was getting you even hotter. The heat swirling in your core was becoming unbearable, and you needed him to touch you.

"Oh my God," he mumbled hoarsely. "You're acting so slutty. It's so fucking hot."

"Reigen!" You whined impatiently.

"Alright, alright."

He reluctantly released your bum, taking your dress into his hands and lifting it up and over your body. You sat up to assist him in taking it off, giggling when his jaw dropped at the sight of your matching bra and panties. You reached down to begin undoing his belt, leaning over him to showcase your cleavage as you did so.

"I could cum right now," he sighed. "Did you wear that for me?" He hooked a finger under your panties before pulling back and releasing the fabric, letting it slap against your hip.

"Mhmm." You nodded, yanking his belt from his pants and tossing it aside. "You like it?"

"I love it." He continued to toy with the band of your underwear. "You're beautiful." Reigen's cheeks warmed at the compliment he gave you. The way he could be so cocky and so soft with you simultaneously was driving you mad. A straightforward businessman who was also a little dorky...it got you wet like no other man could.

You unzipped his pants, pressing a kiss to the bit of exposed skin just above the band of his boxers in thanks. He let loose a shaky breath, undoing his tie and beginning to shimmy out of his jacket and unbutton his shirt. You sat up to give him space to undress himself, helping him unbutton his top while he slowly attempted to kick his pants off. It was chaotic and clumsy, the two of you working together to hastily remove his clothing, but you giggled through it with him and didn't stop until he was left in nothing but his boxers. You took your place back on his lap, grinding down against his clothed, hardening cock. The both of you moaned in harmony at the friction.

Reigen's fingers dug into your sides, pulling you down onto him. He panted and watched in awe as you rolled your hips against his, the both of you unabashedly dry humping one another like crazed teenagers. He reconnected your lips, the noises you were making falling into each other's mouths. It was pure bliss until it wasn't, until you needed more. And somehow, without any words being spoken, Reigen knew. He was pulling away from you again with a groan, laying back against his sheets and looking up at you with a deadly serious expression.

"Take your panties off and sit on my face," he demanded.

Your eyes went wide, shocked by the blunt, lewd request. Something inside your stomach churned, making you twitch. "What?" Your face grew hot. His intense gaze made you squirm. Your head was swimming.

"You're gonna act shy now? Like you weren't just rubbing yourself against me?" He laughed meanly. "Come on." He tapped your thigh like it was simple. "Come rub yourself against my mouth instead."

Your brain was short-circuiting. He had beat you at your own game, and it was making you want to run, the balance tipped back in his favor. "I - I don't - I mean, are you sure? I've never done that before."

"First time for everything." He grinned. "Need some encouragement?" He rubbed comforting circles into your skin. You were struggling to process reality, your friend, hard as a rock beneath you, asking you to sit on his face. You took a deep breath.

"What if I like," you searched for the right words, "break your neck?"

"Then I'll die a happy man," Reigen mused.

"I'm being serious!" You pouted.

"You're not going to break my neck," he groaned in frustration. "I've got support." He patted the pillows underneath his head for extra measure.

"I'm nervous," you confessed. "Sorry, I know that's not very sexy."

"You kidding? You're still a bombshell." Reigen smiled. "You can lay down and I can eat it that way if you'd prefer?" The way he talked about eating your pussy so casually made your chest flutter. You gasped at him, throbbing against the damp fabric of his boxers.

"No." You blushed deeply. "It's okay. I can do it."

"Do what?" He raised an eyebrow. "Can I hear you say it?" He was toying with you now, making you say dirty things just for the sake of it.

"You are so-" you huffed. "I'll sit on your face."

"Good girl," he praised teasingly. "Alright, let me see then. Take them off."

You whined but obeyed, lifting up off of him to slide your panties down and off of your legs. You quickly straddled him once again, shuddering when your bare heat caught on the fabric of his boxers.

"Shit." With heavily lidded eyes, Reigen reached forward, running a finger through your folds to gather your essence. You moaned at his gentle touch, trying and failing to keep your composure as you thought of his warm tongue being pressed there instead. "Okay. Come up here," he instructed, beckoning you with the finger coated in your juices.

You reluctantly crawled up his body, stopping when you were positioned above his face. You sank down frantically, not wanting to delay the inevitable any longer, but held yourself up so as not to crush him with your full weight. Reigen hummed against you, grabbing your hips and pulling you down the rest of the way. A shockwave of pleasure racked through your torso as his tongue pressed into you, the vibrations of his groaning tickling your core. You cried out, overwhelmed already, and he had only just begun.

"Fuck!" You held onto his hair, staying still as he licked against you, his hands digging bruises into your ass and thighs. The low, guttural, breathy and slurping noises he was making beneath you had you clenching around nothing, soaking his mouth and chin. You cried and whimpered, trembling as he seemed to know just how to get you going.

Chasing your high as you got more comfortable atop of him, you slowly rolled your hips against his face. Reigen made sounds of approval, repositioning his hand placement to encourage you to keep going, to keep riding and using his face the way you needed to. It was nasty, your face flushed with the realization of how obscene it was, and the realization only made you get hotter, wetter. The coil in your lower stomach kept tightening and tightening, threatening to snap.

You pulled away from him, collapsing at his side.

"What are you doing?" He panted in disbelief, his face glistening with your slick.

"Want to cum on your cock," you mumbled drunkenly, taking off your bra. "Please, fuck me." You tossed your bra aside and spread your legs, batting your lashes up at him tiredly.

"Holy shit," Reigen gasped. He fumbled for his boxers, fighting to quickly pull them down and off his body. You shamelessly watched his hardened length spring free, impatiently spreading your legs even farther apart.

After scrambling for a condom in his nightstand and rolling one on, he crawled over you, dipping his head forward to capture your mouth in a sloppy kiss. You tasted yourself on his lips as he sunk into you, swapping moans. He pulled back to watch himself move slowly in and out of you, eyes wide and glassy. You screwed yours shut, relishing in the feeling of his thick cock stretching your walls. You opened them only when you felt his thumb press against your bundle of nerves, rubbing fast, tight circles as he slowly increased the pace of his thrusts into you.

"Reigen!" You gasped, grabbing his wrist and trying to push him away. With his free hand, he ripped your hand away, pinning it above your head.

"Thought you wanted to be manhandled?" He grunted, his composure wavering in and out as you clamped around him. "Oh my - fuck. S - so tight and warm," he whimpered into your neck as he practically collapsed over you, struggling to keep a steady rhythm on your clit and inside you.

"'S too much!" Tears were prickling in your eyes. You weren't prepared to release just yet, but it seemed you weren't getting much of a choice. You could hardly think or remember how to breathe, forced to take it as he pumped in and out of you. You were squirming beneath him, trying to relieve some of the pressure though it was no use.

"Stay still," he growled, his voice deep, carnal, and almost unlike him. As much as you wanted to, you couldn't obey, back arching and thighs trying to clamp shut to resist the force of his blows.

He was getting frustrated with your refusal to listen, tightening his grip on your wrists. He removed his thumb from you clit and pulled out of you in one quick movement, ignoring your dumbfounded expression as he flipped you over and lifted your hips, re-entering you from behind. It was painful, the way he slammed back into you, but it hurt in a way that sent an extreme wave of pleasure through your core. You were basically screaming now, falling limp underneath him, but he wouldn't allow it, wrapping an arm around your waist and another around your shoulders and neck to hold you upright as he took you from behind. He found your clit again, expertly rubbing his fingers against you while he thrusted into your ruined cunt.

You couldn't make out any coherent words, crying and whining loudly while he muttered praises in between kisses pressed to your temple. "I know, I know," Reigen cooed. "You're okay. It's okay. I've got you. You're almost there."

It didn't take much longer for either of you in this position. Reigen's thrusts were starting to become erratic, his grip on you clumsily faltering and tightening, back and forth. "I'm gonna cum," he told you in a pained tone. "You almost there, baby?"

The innocent pet name in such an indecent setting knocked the wind out of you. All you could do was nod and make a sort of sound of agreement. He was more strategic now about the way he moved, trying to get you there before him. You relaxed into him, trusting him to hold you up as you let that coil inside snap. You shuddered and trembled against him, temporarily going to another place entirely as you he chased his own high, pulling out only moments later after he was finished.

You laid beside him, the two of you panting and coming back down in unison. He gave himself a minute before he moved to clean up, discarding his condom and heading to the bathroom. Without him inside you or near you, you suddenly felt very cold. You waited for him curiously and a bit anxiously, a small bud of worry blossoming in your chest at his absence and his silence. You heard the faucet running for a few moments before he was returning, a wet cloth in his hand.

For all of his obliviousness and goofiness, Reigen was surprisingly attentive and soft, gently bringing the warm cloth in between your thighs to clear up some of the residue that was left behind. You gasped at the feeling of the fabric against your sensitive core, but allowed him to quietly and softly wipe away the remains of your encounter. It all seemed to come together in this moment, to make sense, why you had such an intense crush on this man who was supposed to be your friend.

"Thank you," you croaked tiredly when he was done.

"You need anything?" He asked you hoarsely, sounding just as exhausted as you were. "Water? A snack?"

"I'm okay," you shook your head. You wondered if you were overstaying your welcome, lingering if you weren't going to have a drink or some food. It made you more nervous and uncertain when he left to go grab something for himself. He was still your friend, no matter how much you were enjoying yourself. Your past reminded you that you needed to be realistic. You reluctantly pushed yourself up from the plush confines of his comforter, searching for your undergarments. "I should get going," you explained when he returned with a bottle of water.

Reigen's expression fell. "You're not going to stay?"

"Oh." You softened under his harsh gaze. "I don't know - I guess I just assumed you wouldn't want me to after we-"

"What kind of a guy do you think I am?" He laughed. "You're not going home at this hour by yourself. And I like to cuddle afterwards," he stilled, "unless you don't."

You giggled at him. "Yeah, I do too."

"Good!" He jumped back into bed, pulling your naked body flush against his. You laughed, blushing slightly as you comforted into his embrace. He wanted you here. Could this have been more than a one night thing?

As if reading your mind, "for what it's worth," he hesitated, "I'm really glad you texted me tonight."

"I am too." A day for love indeed.

KISUKE URAHARA THE MAN THAT U ARE!!!

TW: mentions of alcohol, smut, Shinji Hirako just being a menace

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it🫰🏻

You had a bad habit of getting drunk and doing stuff you regretted.

And so it was a recipe for disaster at the festival taking place in the Soul Society when you had too much to drink and a big fat crush on your colleague, Shinji Hirako.

As soon as he was in your proximity you were laughing too hard at everything he said, draping over him and clumsily batting your lashes over tired, glossy eyes. Shinji didn't mind it nor did he read into it. If anything, he certainly appreciated all the attention he was getting. As if you weren't being obvious enough, you drunkenly and decidedly blurted your confession.

"I like you."

At those words, he froze, eyes widening and mouth pulling into a frown. His reaction was a stunt to your chest. You instantly wanted to take your words back, wanted to shrink away into nothing and hide from him forever. In a split second, your liquid courage had run dry. You wondered how feasible it would be to quit your position as a Soul Reaper, to move elsewhere, change your name, take on an entirely different identity, anything to escape from the shame you felt now.

A beat passed. And another. And then another. You were drowning in red hot embarrassment as the seconds dragged by.

You backtracked, ready to step away. Humiliation coursed through you, cheeks reddening, shame continuing to bubble in your stomach, hot and uncomfortable. "Sorry. I-"

"You're serious?" Shinji grabbed your wrist, stopping you from getting away. By his tight grip and the harsh look in his eyes, you couldn't tell how you were supposed to answer, what he wanted to hear. You supposed honesty was the only right way, even if that meant you were in trouble.

Slowly, you nodded.

And then a long moment of silence followed again. You were prepared to wrench out of his grasp and flee, stick to your drunken plans to go into permanent hiding when he finally spoke again.

"Fuck."

"Fuck?" You panicked.

"You like me?" He asked in disbelief, his grip on your wrist tightening subconsciously. "You like me like me?"

That was it. You pulled away from him. This situation you had brought on was agonizingly long and painful. "Just forget I said anything." You hung your head low, storm clouds brewing.

"No," Shinji laughed, a sound that was a stab to your heart. "No," he repeated more seriously after watching you avert your gaze and your frown deepen. "I'm just surprised," he explained. "Don't get shy on me now. I want to talk about this."

"I don't know what I'm doing," you ignored him, looking for an escape route.

"You're trashed, but you know what you said," he challenged, coming closer, stepping in front of you to block any potential path.

He was inches away now, and there was electricity sparking in the air between you. His gaze was predatory, predatory in a way that told you he would capture you swiftly and harshly if you tried to run. "How about we go somewhere more private? Just you and me?" There was a grin on his face, one that told you he had a wicked idea unbeknownst to you.

"Are you mad at me?" Your fight or flight still told you to run, not that you were going to attempt it. You knew you had dug yourself into a deep hole, but had to stay committed, had to deal with the consequences.

"Sweetheart," the word seemed far important than the rest, "I'm far from mad at you right now," Shinji promised. "Come here." He extended his hand. "You can trust me."

Around you, the festival was a blur of color and sounds, as if you and Shinji were the only ones there. You looked at his hand uncertainly and your chest fluttered. Embarrassment still burned in your cheeks, but there was a new feeling coming into the mix, one just as hot and bothersome. You feared you may catch fire if you touched his skin, but didn't see much of a choice. Shakily, you reached for him.

As expected, your hand warmed quickly in his, and you worried about how sweaty your palm must have felt. If it bothered him, he didn't show it. Instead, he smiled, curling his long fingers around yours and saying, "good. Let's go."

You let him lead you away, feeling a bit like a lamb headed to the wolf's lair. Your entire body felt sickeningly warm, a new heat blossoming and churning in your core. Was this what love felt like? You weren't sure you could handle it if that was the case. It was too intense, too overwhelming.

Shinji still gave you no indication that he felt the same way you did, and the uncertainty and unknown of what was to come did little to keep your panic at bay. That combined with your wasted state made you feel like you were walking on clouds, and not in a good way. One wrong step and you may fall through, plummeting to your demise.

You kept silent as you walked along, stumbling over your feet to keep up with him, and attempted to distract yourself by observing the beauty of the night, but it was no use. Your head was swimming, heart racing as your nervous system confused your circumstances with that of being hunted for sport. You nearly tripped and fell at one point, but Shinji didn't stop. He yanked you upright, never releasing you, squeezing your hand so hard it almost hurt.

"Careful," he purred, and that's when you noticed his malicious smirk. He was completely calm, cool, and collected while you were losing your mind, hardly able to stand on two feet. It wasn't fair, the power balance tipped completely in his favor.

You arrived at your destination, which was none other than his private quarters. You weren't sure what you were expecting, but it wasn't this. You didn't think he'd take you all the way back to his own domain, his personal space, and you couldn't tell if this was a good or bad thing. It was eerily quiet and dark as he led you inside, so different from the rowdy and raucous festival you had just departed from. Under different circumstances, you would appreciate the peacefulness, but now, you could hear your own shaky breathing and heart thumping in your ears, and you were sure Shinji could too. The quiet made you feel too exposed and too vulnerable when you wanted nothing more than to be invisible right now.

He released your hand to flick on some lights, and you stood just barely inside his doorway, unsure what to do with yourself. Maybe if you were still enough, you really would become invisible.

"Don't look so stiff," he chuckled. Damn. "You can come in, you know."

"Oh, right." You took a few steps forward, trying to follow his lead, but he offered no guidance, seemingly keen on watching you make a fool of yourself. You forgot how to be a normal human in his presence, in his space, trying to remember how to walk, how to act again.

He was holding back laughter at your frightened behavior as he casually sat in his living space and gestured for you to sit with him. You mirrored him, criss crossing your legs and twiddling your thumbs, flinching at every creak in the house and howl of the wind, waiting impatiently for him to say something, to relieve you of this fear you felt.

"How rude of me," he spoke suddenly, confusing you. "Would you like something to drink? You look like you could use one," he teased.

"I don't need anymore." You shook your head vigorously. "But thank you."

"You sure?" He moved to pour himself some sake anyway. "You won't have one with me? Just one?" He was dangling the bottle in the air, enticing you.

You hesitated. It was true that you didn't need anymore, and you wanted him to address the elephant in the room, not get himself and you even tipsier. You really shouldn't have, but how could you tell him no?

"Alright, just one," you agreed, but you still could hardly relax. He was toying with you, winding you up tightly, and for what? To make you snap? There was a point he wasn't getting to, dragging things along at your expense, making you tremble and squirm and suffer.

He sat before you, a glass for him and a glass for you. He took a long sip, watching you do the same before speaking again, finally getting back to the chief subject at hand. "Now then, tell me about this little crush you have on me?" He was finding this too amusing, the corner of his lips pulling upward.

You gasped, looking away from his attractive smirk, your heart and mind confused and at war with how you could want someone who mocked you so much so badly. "What more is there to say? Why are you messing with me?" You pouted, avoiding his taunting gaze.

"It's too much fun, watching you blush," he said, like he couldn't help himself. "It's just...so cute." He took another large sip, finishing off his sake. "I'm trying to make sense of this, how I'm so special as to have won the affection of such a pretty girl."

"Pretty?" You looked at him again now. His smirk had faded, replaced by a much more serious expression. It made you shiver. "You think so?"

"Mhmm." He smiled and nodded, satisfied. "I don't know how I got so lucky is all."

You nervously gulped down the remains of your sake, freaking out for different reasons now. He thinks I'm pretty. You prided yourself on not being a simple girl, but here with him, it seemed he had the power to easily reduce you to just that, a blushing, sensitive, naive, simple maiden. He thinks I'm pretty!!!

Shinji was chuckling again, watching you try and fail to fend off a bubbly smile. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't going straight to his ego, getting to see you, of all girls, unraveling for him in this way. It was making him swell with pride and cockiness. He felt invincible right now, forgetting all about the trivial matters of the festival or anything for that matter. All he could think about now was you, sat before him, looking so preciously adorable and shy and excitable at the prospect of him returning your feelings. He wanted to watch you unravel even more, curious about just how much he could get you to open up for him.

"I like you too," he confessed much more smoothly than you had. "So, what do we do about this?" He raised his eyebrows.

You didn't know how he could be so calm, admitting such a serious thing to you. There was no longer any reason for you to worry, now that you knew for sure that your feelings were reciprocated, but nonetheless a new anxiety blossomed in your chest now. What do we do about this? Your mind flooded with lots of ideas, none of which were pure. You looked at the floor, clasping your hands together tightly to keep from fidgeting. "You tell me."

Shinji grinned. "Oh, I have thoughts," he said suggestively. "But I want to know what you want."

"I made the first move," you defended, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from bursting out in nervous laughter. "What I want is for you to take charge now."

It was a bold statement, one you knew was crossing over a new threshold. Part of you started to relax now, confidence building when you felt so silly for being embarrassed when it was Shinji you were talking to. He was eccentric and strange, just the same as you. It was why you liked him so much. Your shyness was starting to fizzle out the more you opened up to him. Sure, he was teasing and prodding, but you felt safe here with him, safe to be yourself, safe to share your desires now that you knew his feelings were returned.

He scoffed, impressed with your game. "Take charge, huh?" His lips were once again tugging into a smirk. You licked your own as you watched. "I think I can do that, but I still need you to talk to me. I'm not going to take charge of anything unless I hear you agree to it. Understand?"

You were sure of it now. The both of you were on the same page, talking about the same thing without directly addressing it. He'd do whatever you wanted, and you'd do the same, but he wouldn't go any further without your verbal consent. It made you admire him that much more.

"I understand." You nodded, feeling brave and excited all at once. Your chest was rising and falling, heaving with anticipation. Your hands were shaking, adrenaline and disbelief rattling through you.

Shinji noticed, and he rose, holding his hand for you to take once again. "Then let's take this to the bedroom," he finally said, confirming that you were indeed on the same page. "You want this?"

"Yes." You staggered to your feet, breathless. You dropped your shaky hand into his, and he brought it up to his lips, giving it a chaste kiss. You gasped.

"You're trembling. Are you afraid?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at you, searching your face for any sign of hesitation.

"A little," you confessed. You knew better than to lie to him.

"You're allowed to be nervous, but you know you're safe with me, don't you?" He was showing a side of himself you hadn't seen yet, someone softer and gentler than the Captain you knew.

"Yes," you repeated.

"And you know you can tell me to stop at any time and that I will?" He rubbed your hand with his thumb. It was no longer shaking.

"Yes."

"Good girl," he praised. "Don't stop talking to me."

You nodded, letting him lead you to his bedroom. Your heart began to thump rapidly again, only because you were so anxious to take things further. Everything was unfolding so quickly, and it was all because of one drunken and brazen thought that managed to escape your mouth. When you had attended the festival, this was the last place you expected to end up tonight, though you certainly weren't complaining.

Shinji dimmed the lights and dropped his robe. You removed yours, prepared to toss it on the floor somewhere but he took it from you, delicately draping it over a chair. You looked to him for what to do next, eyes wide and expecting. He had to remind himself to go slow, not to pounce on you the instant he saw your pretty eyes looking to him for direction.

He grabbed your hand again, pulling you into the bed with him. You kneeled at his side, eager and curious, admiring the way he appeared in the dim lighting. Little did you know, he was doing the same, thinking about how beautiful you were and how he needed to have your mouth on his this instant.

"May I?" He delicately took your chin in his hand, as if you were the most precious and fragile thing in the world because to him, you were.

"Please." You stared at his lips, mesmerized, anxious, afraid, excited, obsessed all at once. You had wanted this moment for so long now, imagined what it would be like to touch him, to kiss him, and now this moment was happening here and now.

He didn't leave you waiting any longer, leaning in to connect your lips with his. You shut your eyes, focusing on the feeling of his lips against yours, following his lead. You parted your mouth, granting him access to slip his tongue in. You made a little noise of surprise as you felt his piercing, a foreign sensation you were always curious about when it came to him. He hummed in acknowledgment, devouring you even more.

His hands began to roam your body as he continued to make out with you hungrily. Without breaking the kiss, he gripped your clothing, giving it a small tug, signaling that he wanted to take it off.

This was really happening. You nodded against him, but that wasn't enough for Shinji.

"Words, please," he demanded, pulling away.

"Yes." You blushed. "Please, take them off."

"Are you sure?" He still sensed the fear in your voice, saw it in the red of your cheeks. "I can take mine off first. Would that make you feel better?"

"Yes," you said quickly, pleased with his idea.

Shinji smiled and began to remove his clothing without hesitation. You watched in awe, feeling perverted when he didn't stop until he was completely bare. When his hardening cock sprung free from the confines of his boxers, you nearly gasped and looked away. He was so long, you weren't sure how it was all going to fit.

"Everything okay?" He raised an eyebrow at you. "Still want to do this?"

"Yes," you answered shakily, and then "yes," more firmly. "You're just - just so big."

"Thanks," he laughed, reaching for your top first. "I'll take care of you." He kissed your head, then started to lift your shirt. "Promise."

He peeled the fabric away from your body, stopping to admire the lacy bra adorning your chest. A small, surprised moan escaped your lips when he cupped a hand around one of your tits, squeezing the plump flesh and watching your reaction.

"You're such a cutie, you know that?" He grinned before hooking his fingers into the waist band of your pants, tugging them down.

You lifted your hips as you let his words get to your head, making you feel euphoric. You weren't the only one lost in euphoria. Shinji's smile spread from ear to ear at the sight of your matching panties.

"So pretty," he cooed, playing with the fabric against your hip. "Can you spread your legs for me?"

Another moan caught in your throat at his bold request, but you obliged, spreading your legs apart and exposing your clothed pussy to him. You flinched when Shinji grabbed your thighs, holding them in place as he lowered his face to your heat, licking you through your panties.

You cried out, jaw dropping as you watched his tongue piercing get caught on your underwear. He tried to pull back, only for it to stay in place. You shrieked, covering your mouth with your hand in disbelief. Your face became so hot so quickly you were sweating.

"Oopth, gueth I didn't think thith through," he remarked nonchalantly with his tongue stuck outside of his mouth.

"Shit!" You panicked, embarrassed that his mouth was quite literally stuck against your most private area. "What do I do?! Should I try to take them off?!"

"Calm down," he laughed against you, the vibrations making you spasm. He reached for his piercing and your panties, trying to untangle the jewelry from your lace. To your relief, after a quick moment, he detached the stud from your fabric and was able to lift his head away, though it was now snagged where he was caught. You couldn't even care that your underwear were ruined. You were just beyond relieved he was no longer stuck with his tongue pressed to your labia.

You covered your face with your hands. "Oh my God! That was so - I'm so embarrassed!"

"Relax," Shinji laughed, taking your hands into his own. "That was hilarious. I really didn't think that through."

You turned away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. You knew you were being dramatic, but didn't care. You were mortified, as if it were your fault. You clamped your legs shut, face burning, reverted back to your shy ways.

"Come on, doll, don't be so upset," he tried to pull you back out of your shell. "You have nothing to worry about. There's no place I'd rather get stuck," he chuckled smugly.

His goofiness and dirty mind made you giggle, daring to look back at him again.

"Maybe we should take them off, so this time I don't get stuck, hm?" He suggested, easing you out of your embarrassment and back into your element. He was rubbing your hands again to soothe your nerves. It was working.

"...okay," you agreed.

"Okay?"

"Okay." You nodded.

Shinji smiled gently and started to pull your panties down. He didn't look away from your eyes all the while, not until the garment was down your legs and dangling from his fingers. He sling shotted them across the room, making you laugh and hide your eyes from him again.

"Let's get rid of this too while we're at it." He unclasped your bra, pulling it off of your arms and tossing it aside. He let his gaze fall to your breasts, cupping his hands around both of them this time and running his thumbs over your nipples. "Much better."

Mouth agape, you sighed and whined as he flicked and rubbed your nipples, eyes flicking back and forth between your face and your nipples, watching you gasp and moan as they hardened under his touch. "Does that feel good?" He asked gently as he drew circles against your skin.

"Yes," you gasped. "Please - need - I need more," you whimpered timidly.

"Yeah?" He raised his eyebrows, looking excited at your request. "Tell me what you need."

You hesitated to say what you wanted. It felt dirty and embarrassing, but you had to remind yourself that you were safe here. He wanted you to be honest with him, to be vulnerable. "Your mouth. I want your mouth around them," you blurted.

Shinji grinned wolfishly. "Your wish is my command." He dipped his head again, this time, taking a mouthful of your right breast, flicking his piercing against your nipple. The sensation of the cool metal against your sensitive skin had your hips bucking, back arching your body into him.

"Fuck! Shinji!" You squirmed. "Feels so good!"

"My sweet girl," he murmured against you, switching to your other breast. "Can't wait to taste your sweet pussy for real this time."

His filthy words made your core throb. Now, you hardly needed him against your breasts, and you wondered how his piercing would feel against your bare clit this time. You were starting to forget all about your shame, thoughts empty aside from how needy you were, whining for him to "just taste it now."

Shinji laughed, amused at how easily he was corrupting you. "Who am I to tell my baby no?"

He kissed down your torso until he reached your sweet spot, flattening his tongue against your clit. One moment his piercing was in your mouth, and the next, against your soaked core. You cried out at the delicious feeling of hot and cold against your most sensitive area, the heat and wetness of his tongue mixing with the cool of his jewelry. You were lifting your hips into him, desperate for more pressure.

Shinji grabbed hold of your hips, reading your body language and obliging, pressing harder into you, his grip bruising as he sucked on your clit, completely lost in your heat. You struggled to keep still and to keep your legs open, waves of pleasure rolling through your body and making you thrash. To make matters worse, Shinji kept looking up at you from between your folds, watching you fall apart beneath him. It made your face hot, making eye contact with him while he was in such a lewd position.

You were sure you couldn't take it anymore, and you attempted to shove him away, pressing at his shoulders and wiggling out of his grasp.

"Stop running from me." He yanked you back down. "You're okay, I've got you."

"You don't understand!" You fought against him still. "I - I can't take it anymore!"

"Yes you can," he murmured against you, clamping down on your thighs hard to keep them apart. "Just a little bit longer, baby."

He continued to suck and circle your clit with his tongue while he pushed a finger inside. You gasped at the feeling of it sliding through your soaked walls, curling and twisting and adding even more pressure to the already unbearable amount you were handling. You squealed and attempted to lift your body, causing Shinji to press a hand to your stomach, holding you down. He himself was starting to unravel, his length straining and leaking precum as he listened to your moans and whines mixing with the obscene squelching and sucking noises coming from his abuse on your cunt. He was groaning into your core, pumping in and out of you more rapidly now, eager to have you climaxing on his tongue.

Moments later, you were doing just that, crying and trembling as he continued to hold you down, nearly cumming himself at the way you looked and sounded as you fell apart completely. He pulled away from you, his face shining with your juices. You sighed and let your head fall back at the sight, eyes fluttering closed. He smirked at your defeated state, crawling over your body.

He took and squished your cheeks in his hand. "(Y/N)," he sang your name intimately. "Look at me." You reluctantly opened your eyes, peering up at him tiredly. "You still with me? You want more?" He asked, peppering your face with wet kisses.

"More - like your cock?" You asked dazedly.

Hearing such a dirty word come from your mouth made him blush. He quickly regained his composure, smirking at how fucked-out and delirious you were. "Yeah, more like my cock."

You smiled dreamily at him before nodding slowly. "Then yeah, yeah I want more."

Shinji tangled his fingers in your hair, narrowing his eyes at you in that cute way he did when he was thinking hard about something. "Fuck," he muttered under his breath. "So. Damn. Cute."

Slowly, he kissed your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. When he tried to pull away, you pulled him back down, making him kiss you again, but this time, you parted your mouth and searched for his piercing, taking the time to explore his mouth before catching his lip between your teeth and pulling away.

He sprang into action at that, sitting up and roughly pulling you down by your thighs, making you yelp. He didn't waste another moment, grabbing his member and lining it up with your entrance. You watched with wide eyes, in awe at how pretty his cock looked, especially when it was so close to where you needed it most. He pressed the tip against your folds, and the two of you shared a moan as his slick mixed with yours. You throbbed, looking up at him expectantly, already revived and prepared for more.

"Ready?" He asked, just barely starting to push in.

"Mhm!" You nodded, looking back down to watch him slowly sheathe himself inside of you.

You hissed at the initial stretch, digging your claws into Shinji's arm. It made him worry, stilling his movement halfway inside of you, though with how much you were already filled, you could hardly believe that.

"Am I hurting you?" He asked softly, sounding almost unlike himself, cradling your head in his hand.

"No, no!!" You whimpered unconvincingly. "I'm okay! It's - it's just a lot of pressure!"

"I won't go all the way in yet," he said, starting to pull out before pushing back in halfway again. He was squeezing his eyes shut, grunting as you sucked him in. "You feel so good," he breathed before taking your lips into his again. "So good for me."

You cried into his mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck to anchor yourself. Each time he pushed back in, he went deeper, until he had you completely speared on him, sinking all the way in to the hilt. You gasped at the fullness, spreading your legs further in an attempt to open wider for him. He was still moving so achingly slow, doing his best not to start pounding into you until you were well adjusted to his size.

"Are you okay?" He asked, voice straining.

"Yes," you told him, sounding just as pained as he did. "Can you help - can you hold my legs apart?"

His jaw dropped at your request, but he quickly obliged, grabbing behind your knee to not only pull them apart, but to push them down, holding them up near your ears. Your muscles burned, but you could hardly think about that with his cock bullying itself into your walls. Mouth parted and brows furrowed up at him, you informed him that he could be a little rougher with you now. "You can go faster."

You didn't have to tell him twice. Shinji began to move faster in and out of you now, building the pace gradually until he was losing his composure, gone too feral from the feeling of you squeezing around him. He gripped your thighs tighter to steel himself as he snapped his hips against yours, hitting deep and hard inside you each time. You'd never seen him at such a loss for words, the only sounds coming from him being the groaning and grunting escaping his mouth as he buried himself inside of you. Nothing but the occasional, "so good," and "so warm and tight," sounding drunk off of your pussy.

You didn't have much to say either. Your legs were shaking and twitching every time he thrusted into you, still so sensitive from the orgasm he gave you earlier. He was pounding into you relentlessly, balls slapping against you with a plap, plap, plap. The once silent space was now so loud with both of you groaning and panting and squelching against one another. You were going completely dumb on him, unable to think or even speak when he was talking to you again, asking you if you were okay, if it felt good. All you could do was nod.

But then Shinji was grabbing your cheeks again, forcing you to look at him. "Pretty girl, are you sure you're okay?" He panted. "Can you talk to me?"

"M'ok - ay." You were staring at him, but to him there seemed to be no one home. It was both worrying him and making that coil inside of him ready to snap, knowing that you were in your most vulnerable state right now and that he was the one who got you there.

"Are you gonna cum again?" He was asking too many questions. You whined in response. Of course you were going to.

He was slamming into you viciously, chasing his own high. It was so painful that it felt good, and your pleasure was making you see stars, in pure bliss knowing that you were at his mercy completely.

"I can't hold it anymore," he groaned into your neck. "Fucking clamping down on me like that! You close?"

"Yes!" You squealed, your body squirming like a rag doll beneath his.

He wrapped his long fingers around your neck, still pinning one of your knees up by your head, while he roughly and determinedly thrusted into you, chasing both of your highs with vigor. You were surprised by how good it felt, having him choke you lightly and stretch you to your breaking point. Moments later, you were spasming on him, choking out a high-pitched whine while he fucked your orgasm out of you. His quickly followed, and you watched in a lovesick state as he shuddered and convulsed over you, dick twitching inside of you before he hurriedly pulled out to release himself on your stomach.

He took a minute to admire his work, catching his breath and observing your limp body. "Stay put," he huffed, exhausted. "I'll go get something to clean you up."

Shinji gently wiped his juices from your stomach before joining you back in the bed, sighing contentedly and tossing his head back against the pillow. You were both silent until you were able to breathe normally again. Your eyes were fluttering closed before shooting back open, desperately trying to stay awake to get more time with him.

"So," he began awkwardly and uncertainly, surprising you. He was never awkward, always the cocky and confident one. You looked to him with concern, wondering what he seemed so nervous about. "This wasn't like - a one time thing - right?"

Sometimes, with how bold and loud and unafraid he was, you forgot that Shinji got insecure too, that he was human, just the same as you. It made your heart melt, getting to see this other side of him, having him be vulnerable with you. It was a different kind of intimacy than the one you just experienced, but was just as meaningful, if not more.

You turned on your side to fully face him, reaching out to stroke his bicep lovingly. "Shinji, I know I was being drunk and stupid earlier when I told you I liked you, but I really meant it," you told him softly. "I don't want this to be a one time thing, do you?"

"Hell no." He managed a grin. "I really like you too."

"Okay, good," you giggled. "I was actually hoping we could do more than this," you confessed timidly.

"More." Shinji smiled lazily at you. "Like sharing meals and waking up next each other?"

"Yeah." You held your breath.

"I'd like that," he agreed, eyes full of adoration. "We can start now." He pulled you to his chest. "With you staying the night."

Now you let your eyes fluttered closed, cheek pressed to his warm skin as you hummed contentedly against him. You'd have more time with him tomorrow, and if you were lucky, every day after that. You snuggled up to him, and he squished you in, holding you tightly and protectively now that he had you completely in his snare.

"Goodnight, Shinji."

"Goodnight, angel." He kissed your forehead. "Sweet dreams."

As you drifted off to sleep in his hold, you reminisced on the unfolding events of the night. Maybe it wasn't such a bad habit, getting drunk and doing stuff you regretted, or maybe this was just one instance you didn't regret.

Based on this beautiful request from my sister wife @tomitsulikeslemons <3

Another Friday night had come and gone. It was sometime past one in the morning, the dance floor packed, vibrating with hip hop music, and colorful lights weaved through the sea of sweaty, intoxicated bodies. You and your friends had wriggled your way out of the crowd, off to have one last drink, though none of you needed it. That was evident in the way you sauntered through the stuffy air carelessly, a slant in your step, every thought, thing, person, scenario funnier than it really was, reality viewed through a different lens. By the way your friends talked and acted you knew they shared your state of mind, the trio of you fueled off one another. 

What you didn't share with them was your desire to leave this place. Dancing to the latest hits was fun for a while, but your heart craved something else. All night you'd longed for a change of scenery, a specific place in mind. Most of the bars would be closing soon. You'd shied away from bringing it up all night, but halfway through what was supposed to be your final drink, it became now-or-never.

"We should go to the jazz bar!" you announced, beaming excitedly to hide the embarrassed blush coating your cheeks. 

As expected, you were immediately met with resistance, both of your friends giving you eye rolls, exhausted groans and disapproving shakes of the head. 

"Seriously?!" One of them grumbled, unafraid to give it to you straight. "That place is sooo dead. Every time we go there it makes me want to fall asleep," she voiced dramatically. Your other friend nodded her agreement, taking a long, tired sip from her drink. 

"It's romantic and luxurious," you countered. "You just don't know how to appreciate good music." It was your turn to take a long sip now, glancing to the side and raising your eyebrows over your glass. 

"HEY!" She shouted while your other friend simultaneously accused, "oh, please, we all know you're not going for the music."

"Yes I am!" You whined defensively, though you understood immediately what she meant, especially by the shit-eating grin spreading on her face. 

"That's right," your other friend giggled, catching on, the two of them exchanging devious glances. "You only got into jazz because you want the owner's PICKLE!" She chanted the last bit, cupping her hands around her mouth for the whole club to hear, or at least those nearby. 

"It’s not true!" You hissed. "Maybe I just like going somewhere where random men aren't constantly trying to get behind me like dogs!" You took another drink from your glass, nervously chugging.

"Yeah, yeah, none of them can compare to your little jazz boyfriend, we know," your friend snorted. The other joined in her laughter, the two of them like goofy, taunting hyenas. 

"I'm - I can't - that's not even remotely true," you stammered, repeating yourself, crossing your arms over your chest, looking all too interested at the contents in your glass. 

"She's blushing!" They pointed at and prodded your cheeks. 

"My cheeks always get red when I drink!" You snapped back, swatting their hands away. 

"Okay, okay," your friend giggled, waving her hand dismissively to get you to calm down. "We'll go with you."

"Really?" 

"If," she paused for effect, "you admit you want to get the mario coins knocked out of you by the owner."

"You're insane,” you scoffed and shook your head.

"No, you are,” your other friend jumped back in. “We're your best friends! You can tell us! We make great wing women." She grinned and nudged your other friend.

"You do not-"

You were interrupted by her beginning to mock you, words you would never say, altering her voice to sound high-pitched and damsel-in-distress-y, “you’re the only one who truly understands music, Daddy!”

“Let’s listen to some of your jazz while we fuck!” Your other friend naturally went along. 

They carried on, one of them moaning and tossing her hair while the other sang a classic jazz song in a deep, cartoony voice. A group of men nearby started to look over, curious at the spectacle. It was then that you clapped your hands over each of their mouths, silencing their torment.

One of them licked your hand, causing you to recoil. "Sorry,” she giggled. “We're done."

"Well, I'm not interested in going anymore,” you pouted. 

"Don't be so stubborn,” your friend said, taking a quick sip of her drink and stirring the ice around. “Let me finish my drink. Then we can go see your man," she promised.

Your pout twitched, etching into a smile while your other friend winked at you and began to chug her glass. 

Not much later, the three of you took to the streets, staggering along to the jazz bar you adored so much. With each step you found yourself turning inward, getting in your head about your appearance and your general vibe. You hoped your makeup and hair didn’t look too run-down from the night’s activities, or that it wasn’t too obvious in your heavily-lidded eyes that you were far from sober. You even found yourself smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles in your long, elegant dress, a piece you had picked out with the intention of ending up here later tonight. The closer you got to your destination, the more you attempted to straighten out, to walk more gracefully and practice opening lines in your mind. Your anxious thoughts only ceased when your trio clicked up to the bouncer, arms interlocked, no need to show him your IDs. You were familiar faces at this establishment after all. 

But then, he wasn’t stepping aside, didn’t lift the velvet rope and gesture you in as he normally did with a “welcome back, ladies.” He stood firm with his hands clasped, forcing a practiced frown as he said instead, "sorry ladies. We're closing up in about fifteen minutes. Can't come in."

Your heart sank. Dramatic as it was, you felt your night had been wholly ruined by this piece of information, by this denied entry. Your friends watched your enthusiastic expression fall, and one of them broke from the group immediately, clacking forward with an aggressive, steely look in her eyes that you knew all too well. 

"So? Let us in for fifteen minutes," she demanded, hands on her hips and chest puffed out. 

The bouncer towered over her, unmoving. "We can't.” He shrugged carelessly. “The doors are shut."

His resolute words made you deflate even more, but further provoked your feisty friend. "Seriously?” She shifted her weight onto one leg, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her heel against the concrete. “Where's the owner? I want him to tell us."

"No, no.” You tugged at her elbow, disconcerted by the prospect of bothering him. You pulled her back into line with you and your other friend. “It's fine. We'll go," you said decisively, not wanting to start conflict at his bar.

"Uh, no we won't.” Once she had a mission in mind, she didn’t back down. She raised a manicured pointer finger in the air. “I didn't walk all the way here to get turned away. We come here all the time, and many of those times we were here past two am! Is this how you treat valued customers?!"

The bouncer still didn’t seem to want to budge, looking bored with the three of you. He rolled his neck this way and that while your friend snapped at him, his mind likely only halfway here. It only added to your humiliation, had you angling your feet in the opposite direction, trying to nudge your friends away, but they weren’t conceding. 

"Yeah, c'mon dude, seriously,” your other friend joined in the fray. “Three young things like us?” She gestured between the three of you. “You need us in there."

"Maybe when we opened several hours ago,” he opposed, letting the slightest bit of irritation slip into his tone before regaining his composure. “I really am sorry, girls, but it's policy."

"Policy? Policy?!” That made your temperamental friend explode, her arms flailing about in the air between them. “What are you, the goddamn police?!"

"It's okay!” You pulled her back again, panicked. This had already escalated too far. “We can come another night! No big deal!” You offered a sheepish, crooked smile to the bouncer, chuckling nervously as you attempted to steer your trio away for the last time. “Sorry for the trouble."

"No!” Your friend frowned, stomping her foot childishly, not yet ready to accept defeat. “You were excited! We're not leaving!"

You sighed, exasperated and uncomfortable with so much confrontation at a place you loved so much. "I'm telling you it's-"

"Is there a problem here?" 

The four of you followed the familiar voice, like deers in headlights, peering up at the owner as he stood at the top of the stairs in front of the entrance in a wide stance, eyes narrowed down at the group of you. 

You froze at the sight of him, breath catching in your throat. 

Shinji.

"No, no boss,” the bouncer scrambled to explain, sounding much less indifferent than he had moments ago. The large man turned small in Shinji’s presence, not so tough now. “Just telling these ladies we'll be closing up soon."

His narrowed gaze slid smoothly from his employee over to the three of you. When his eyes met yours, they softened, his glare reserved for man and man only. "Oh, it's my girls."

You squeaked as your friend shoved you forward, nearly knocking you over the rope. You straightened, just like you had practiced, smiling tightly and waving bashfully up at him. 

"Hey, sweetheart,” Shinji chuckled languidly, slowly beginning his descent down the stairs towards you. “Ya coming in?"

"We're trying to,” your friend grumbled from behind, jabbing a thumb in the direction of the bouncer, eager to pin blame on him. “Are you gonna fire this guy or what?" 

"Whatever you want darlin',” Shinji laughed, unhooking the rope and ignoring his bouncer’s dumbfounded expression. “Come on, then."

Your friends giggled excitedly at the VIP treatment, as if they weren’t complaining about having to come here thirty minutes ago, prancing forward and up the stairs. You lingered behind, murmuring another “sorry” to the bouncer before you moved to follow them. 

Shinji held out his arm for you to take. “I was beginning to think I wasn’t gonna get to see ya tonight.” He eyed your figure. “Looking so pretty too.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” You smiled coyly, taking his arm and letting him lead you inside, careful not to trip up the stairs. 

You were met with the usual scene, dim lighting, gold, reds, purples, the woodsy aroma of whiskey mixed with cigar smoke and expensive perfumes, two men gathered in hushed conversation at the bar, a new couple huddled together in the corner playing footsies, an old one twirling with each other on the floor to a romantic tune, glimpses of lovers and loners alike on the balcony, and your friends already spinning each other around, looking wild and beautiful and catching the eyes of most men in here, however young or old. 

Shinji was not one of them, too busy with his eyes on you. “Are ya thirsty, baby doll?”

Every little variation of pet name he gave you made your chest flutter, the sweet names and phrases like doses of sugar coming from him. It gave you a rush, and you couldn’t get enough. You were an addict, constantly coming back for more. “Can I just have a water?”

“You can have whatever you like,” he responded, detaching from your side to slide behind the bar, his bartender occupied with flirtatious women at the end. 

Shinji made quick work of filling your glass, throwing in a lemon and garnishing it with a small flower. You giggled your thanks when he handed it to you, making him grin adoringly as you sipped from the pretty glass, perched in the stool across from him.  

You were working up the courage to launch into conversation with him, racking your brain for how to start calmly when he made you feel so airy and excitable, when one of his regulars was slinking up to the bar, coming to catch up before saying his goodbyes for the night.

“Hey!” Shinji beamed towards him before throwing you an apologetic look. “I’ll be back for ya,” he assured before he was off, playing the gracious owner. 

You waited impatiently for him to return, not-so-subtly watching as he got trapped in one conversation after the next, getting to know some of the unfamiliar faces before they left for the night or revisiting with returning patrons. Envy burned in your chest, observing them stealing away your time with him when you had been waiting for this all night. 

As the clock neared and then passed two am, despite the fact that Shinji never formally kicked anyone out, most people filed out on their own, some stopping him to thank him or to chat about their night or their most recent heartbreak or how their job has been so shitty and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You supposed you couldn’t blame them - Shinji was easy to talk to, attentive, humorous and ran a damn good establishment, but you couldn’t help the mounting frustration any time another straggler prevented him from making his way back to you, stealing even more precious time as the night progressed into the wee small hours of the morning. You were getting bitter, silently commanding everyone in the room to please, just leave.

Your friends sashayed their way over to you, one of them faking a yawn. “Looks like it’s closing time,” she observed, throwing you a suggestive look.

“You’re leaving?” Your brows furrowed.

“I mean, yeah,” your other friend laughed. “What? You want us to stay and watch when he…” she trailed off, making a lewd gesture with her hands.

“Didn’t realize you were into that,” they joked.

“That’s not going to happen.” You blushed deeply. “And I’m wondering if I should leave with you.” You glanced longingly in Shinji’s direction, watching him speak with an old pair who were here every week. “He seems like he’s pretty busy. I haven’t really got to talk to him all night.” You looked at your glass of melted ice sadly.

“You have to stay!” Your friend urged you. “You came here for a reason. Don’t pussy out.”

“Do you want us to stay until everybody else is gone?” Your other friend offered.

It was tempting, but you weren’t going to make them sit here with you when they were ready to go. Besides, it seemed like there were only a couple of others left aside from the old couple, and all of Shinji’s staff had already cleaned up and gone. If you were staying, surely, it wouldn’t be much longer until you got him all to yourself. Your friend was right. Now was not the time to pussy out. You’d waited this long, what was a little longer?

“That’s okay.” You smiled, getting down from your stool to hug and kiss them goodbye. “Thank you guys for coming with me.”

“You know we always will. Go get some pickle.” They smacked your butt before departing, waving teasingly to Shinji as they sidled past the chattery old people. 

At the sight of their exit, Shinji looked your way, confirming that you were still there, waiting for him. He smirked to himself before turning back to the old couple, exchanging their last words before he helped them out and down the stairs, returning to say and wave goodbye as the other few remaining people wrapped it up and left. 

It was finally just the two of you, the moment you had been wishing for all night. An upbeat jazz song echoed around the vacant space as he made his way back to your side. He looked a little delirious, dark smudges under his wandering eyes, a few more of his buttons undone, revealing more of his chest. He was probably worn out from the long night. It made him look impossibly sexier.    

“Hi,” he greeted playfully.

“Hi,” you said timidly, pushing down the feral urges rising to the surface. “Again. Those old people have a later bedtime than I do.”

Shinji grinned amusedly at your passive aggressive joke. “I’m sorry for disappearing for so long.” He snuck in closer, whispering, “did ya miss me?”

“Maybe,” you whispered back, heating up under his intense gaze.

“I sure missed you,” he confessed, bringing a hand to ghost over your waist. His eyes dropped to follow the motion. “I like this dress,” he complimented. “Yer a real knockout. I was afraid someone else was going to come and snatch you up.”

“You’re being dramatic.” You reached for your hair to smooth down the messy strands.

“I’m not,” he disagreed seriously, his voice dropping an octave. It was silent for a moment, nothing but the surround sound of jazz, and the transition into a slower and more sensual instrumental. “I really am sorry. You shouldn’t have to wait for anyone. By the way, how much trouble did my bouncer give ya earlier?” He raised an eyebrow threateningly. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it, honestly!” You laughed nervously, looking towards the entrance as you thought of his employee and the way he shrunk down when Shinji came outside. You were shrinking now in your own way, having an inkling that if you said the word, he’d truly get fired in a heartbeat, and you didn’t particularly want that on your conscience. “He was just doing his job.”

“His job is to let my girl in, no matter the day or time or whatever the hell else is going on,” Shinji said sternly. “He’s an idiot.”

“I made it in here. No hard feelings.” You tentatively put a hand on his chest, bringing yourself closer to him, some of your fingers curled against his shirt, and others on his bare skin. 

“Yer too forgiving.” He calmed, his chest rising and falling slowly beneath your touch. 

“I just want everyone to be happy.”

“And what about you?”

“Well,” you avoided his eyes as you confessed, “I’m happy now…”

He smiled arrogantly. “Yeah?”

You nodded.

The music played distantly again, reminding you that you were alone with him, the only two around to hear it. Shinji’s hand fell from your waist, coming to rest atop where yours was pressed to his chest. 

“So then, shall we dance?” He asked, grinning mischievously. 

“What?” You nearly gasped, gazing at the empty floor. “I don’t dance - like that!” You panicked, imagining the intimacy of it - his hands on your waist, his body so close, moving in sync with yours to the slow music playing over the speakers. There would be no explaining away your feelings, just movement and lots of eye contact, all body language. You were all talk and no game, wobbling on your heels, sure that you were going to embarrass yourself, that you were going to put his favorite genre to shame, and then it would be all over. 

“Sure ya do,” he chuckled at your jittery state. “Yer just being shy.” He grabbed your hand, pulling it from his chest to entangle his fingers with yours, rubbing your skin with his thumb.

“I really don’t know how to.” You hesitated. “I’ll make a fool of myself.”

He shook his head, bringing the back of your hand to his lips for a chaste kiss. “Let me teach you.” 

Without another word, he was hurrying away, plunging the space into silence. He returned with an old record player, making a comment about the “real deal” as he set it up. He left again in search for a specific record, leaving you to shuffle in place and twiddle your thumbs, rubbing the back of your hand where his lips came and went. 

While you waited, your thoughts ran unchecked, thinking again about him pulling you along the floor to something romantic, your dress swishing about at your ankles, holding his hand long enough for your palm to sweat in his…your heart hammered in your chest, beating to the wrong rhythm. You took steadying breaths, remembering to slow down, to be smooth as jazz. 

Shinji looked your way excitedly, finally putting the record in place. He rushed back over to you, and so as not to waste a moment of the song, he grabbed onto you immediately, a hand on your hip, and another taking your hand. There was no more time to worry, and only time for dance. 

The music began, like stars twinkling, the language of dreams, while strings crooned in the background. Eyes like saucers, you looked to Shinji for guidance on where to put your free hand. “Up here.” He nodded towards his shoulder. 

You delicately placed your hand where he instructed, tensing at the feel of him, at the tiniest movement of his muscles underneath the soft fabric of his dress shirt. You weren’t able to think about it for very long as your feet were pulled into movement, Shinji taking you with him to the melody. 

Of course, you found a way to complicate it, no matter how simple it was. All you had to do was move your feet where he tugged you, but you couldn’t manage even that, staggering in your heels, but he never let you falter too much, tightening his hand on your hip and his other in yours to keep you upright and in line. “Yer alright, yer okay,” he’d say. “I’ve got you.”

He never stopped, covering the expanse of the floor with his eyes on yours. You still couldn’t quite get out of your head, but it was getting easier as the song progressed. You let both Shinji and your intuition guide you, and as such, your clumsiness slowly faded away, replaced by a gracefulness you never knew you had. When you were starting to get the hang of the easy part, he was releasing your hip, keeping your hand in his and twirling you.

You laughed and squealed, feeling more at ease the more playful he was, all of the stress and the worry cascading out of you with the twirl. It was fun, the feeling of being whipped around by him, your dress and hair twirling too, so much so that it had you cheering, “again!” And of course he obliged you, spinning you around once more.  

Shinji must have been feeling as euphoric as you, opening his mouth to belt out a line of the song.

“You’d be hers if only she would call!”

The words, whether they were just lyrics to sing along to or something he really meant, stunted you. Your smile fell, your expression turning serious and fervent as his eyes bore into yours. He grinned at your stunned expression, encouraging you to listen to the lyrics more carefully as he swayed with you. 

It had you relaxing into the movement even more, the placement of your feet and your body’s responses becoming second nature as you honed in on the music. In this, you found a new appreciation for the instruments and their union, much like the way you united with Shinji now, the bliss when certain notes and sounds came together at once. 

Though the music was peaceful, the moment was intense. Your throat tightened with the way he looked at you, the way he moved you and spun you like you were a flower, the way he sang to you, “you’d be hers if only she would call.” Would he be mine? Does he want to be mine?

It had you recounting all of the times you came in here, how he always greeted you with his signature smirk when you came in and let you stay late, making cheeky remarks about whatever outfit you had on that night or paying enough attention to compliment your hair or makeup, telling creepy men to get lost when they approached you, knowing your drink order and making sure it was never empty, playing your favorite songs, walking you out and telling you that he’d see you next time…he always did. 

And tonight, all that transpired, the same protectiveness and pet names and compliments, but now, the dance. You’d always written off his behavior and his words as his personality, a natural flirt, or maybe just the fact that he needed business, and you were naive enough to fall into his trap over and over again. He was sweet and protective to all the women. After all, he’d told your friend “whatever you want darlin’” at her request that he fire the bouncer, and talked to various women, young and old, before they left tonight. 

You couldn’t deny that on your hard days, you thought about it a little too much, wondered what those conversations with other women consisted of, if maybe you were just his Friday girl and on Saturday he had another little doll staggering up to the velvet rope, batting her lashes and getting him to fulfill her every wish and command, just for the night. It was why you never took any of it too seriously before now, allowing yourself to get excited each night that you visited, but not to take it back home with you, too afraid to have your heart broken.

But being here with him tonight made everything feel real. You weren’t his Friday girl, you were his every day girl. Sure, he gave everybody sweet nicknames, but he complimented you, he searched for you, he stayed behind for you. It had been this way all along, you were just too stuck in your head, letting your insecurities cloud your judgment. If you had just called him, just given him the word, he’d be yours. 

So perceptive, it was as if Shinji knew you were overthinking it all now, worry passing over his features as he observed you. He twirled you again just to see you smile, but instead of spinning you around fully, he ended this one with his chest to your back and his arms wrapped around you, keeping you there for a moment before spinning you back out again, whisking you along and out of the room before you could see the rosiness in his cheeks.

He took you to the balcony, reconnecting with you there, the music still heard from inside as the chill night nipped at you playfully. The lyrics returned, and you strained to hear them as Shinji tucked you into his chest, rocking you more slowly now to keep you warm from the wind whipping your hair and dress around your frame. 

“When your lonely heart has learned its lesson

You’d be hers if only she would call.”

You looked up from Shinji’s chest, searching his face for the truth as the town below you started to settle into bed. 

“In the wee small hours of the morning

That’s the time you miss her most of all.”

Chills prickled your skin as the song twinkled out, the stars overhead now. When it stopped, the both of you stopped moving, but continued to hold one another, staring in silence with nothing but the distant sounds of the world around you and the whispers of an early spring night. 

Selfishly, you had to know. You needed to hear him say it, for your own peace of mind. “Do you,” you hesitated, but his soft, patient gaze brought you the rest of the way, “have feelings for me?”

“I have for a long time,” he answered you easily, seriously.

“How long?” You slowly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself in closer, looking at him with glassy eyes. 

“Not long after you started coming here,” again, with a quick, steadfast response. “You’ve always been my girl.”

You let your instincts take over, looking at his lips, leaning in the slightest bit, this was the call. 

And he moved in the rest of the way until your lips were pressed together, becoming yours. He didn’t have to miss you anymore - at this hour, when he was normally closing up, heading home to lie awake and think of you - because here you were, finally where he had longed for you to be, with him. 

The kiss was long, but sweet. Pure and wholesome, he kept your lips against his, and nothing more, pulling back to hug you tightly, pressing more tender kisses onto your cheek and forehead. “A long time,” he said to himself again, running his fingers through your hair as he rested his head against yours.

“I’m your girl,” you spoke to yourself too, smiling like an idiot and shivering against him, excited and a bit chilly. 

“Yer cold,” he commented, smoothing his palms down your back.

“A little.”

He hummed, rubbing his hands up and down your bare arms now. “Want to go back inside?”

“No. I like it out here.” You snuggled back into his chest, leaning against him as you observed the lights below and above. “Just keep me warm.”

He started to unbutton his shirt, untucking it from his pants and pulling it off to wrap it around you.

“You took your shirt off?!” You giggled at him in disbelief.

“My baby’s cold.” He shrugged with a smile, pulling the fabric around your naked shoulders before cuddling you back into him. 

“But you’ll be cold now,” you worried, running your hands along his bare chest and arms, exposed to the night air.

“I’m fine.” He pulled you tighter against him, repeating your words, “just keep me warm.”

Content to be here with him like this, finally yours, you reflected on your humble beginnings, when your friends were reluctant to come here with you, and then when they were refusing not to be let in. You giggled to yourself as you thought of them and how they were going to interrogate you about the rest of your night - or morning, rather. You were going to have to tell them the truth. Okay, I admit, I do want his pickle.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆

The weather this evening, that late-summer-early-fall breeze, reminds you of that special night. It’s around the same time too, the wee small hours of the morning. You’re normally asleep at this hour, but missing him more than usual, you can’t catch a wink. 

“What’re ya still doing awake?” Shinji asks when he finally returns to your shared home, peeling his clothes off and leaving them in a pile on the floor. Too exhausted for a shower, he joins you in bed. 

“Missing you.” You wrap yourself around him instantly, moaning softly at the heat rolling off of his body on this chilly night. “Have any dances tonight?”

“Hopefully one now - with you,” he growls into your neck, nipping at the skin there. 

And so, you dance, no music necessary when you both create your own. The only sounds he loves more than his jazz are the noises that come from you when he makes you feel good. Shinji’s too tired to be anywhere but in bed with you, but not too tired to make love as you say goodbye to yet another Friday night. 

i feel like i haven't had ANY time to indulge in any of my hobbies lately and im STARTING TO GET CRANKY !!! HMPH HMPH

Happy Valentine’s Day from your two fave HR complaints! <3

….I would chop my arm off for one chance with them I stg

(Couldn’t decide if i like it better with or without the background, so have both <3)

and i wouldn't have it any other way <333

it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living