Bad Things Happen Bingo 3.0 #10

Biting

(Contains blood & vampirism)

Villain was surprised when their most trusted henchman came up to them with a nervous expression on their face. “What is it?“ Villain asked. “We’ve found and captured [Hero].“ Villain raised an eyebrow. “That’s a good thing… why the apprehension?”

Henchman pursed their lips. “They’re… sick, but we can’t figure out why.” Villain had a feeling they knew what was wrong. “Have they said anything?“ “No, they can barely speak, they aren’t moving. We found them on a patrol and literally had to just scrape them up. No wounds, no fever, nothing to explain it.“

Villain frowned. “Let me go and see. Perhaps I can find a way to help.”

Villain found them tied down on the bed, their breathing raspy, barely even existent. Villain studied their still body for a while, judging, assessing. They knew Hero’s secret. They were one of very few if not the only one who knew. They were a vampire, and judging by the state of them, they were beyond starving.

Villain sat down on the side of their bed. “What trouble have you gotten yourself into?” they mumbled. Villain looked behind them to see their Henchman still standing. “Give us a minute. I think I need a word with our dear hero.“

Henchman raised their hands in mock surrender and left Villain to it. They were good like that. They never asked too many questions, they trusted Henchman completely. Villain turned their attention back to Hero and carefully tilted their head to the side. “You’d better give me a very good explanation after this…” Villain rolled up their sleeve and offered Hero their exposed wrist. Hero managed a groan, but they didn’t bite.

Villain pressed their wrist against Hero’s lips, waiting patiently until they finally lashed out in a sudden movement. Villain grunted and closed their eyes tight, battling their urge to snatch their hand away. But they waited, and soon the pain faded off while Hero fed. Villain stroked their hair carefully and waited until they could move, until they had enough to reach forward and try to grab more. Villain waited for as long as they dared before taking their hand away and pressing a handkerchief tight against the wound. The bleeding would stop soon thanks to Hero’s saliva, but they couldn’t afford to lose much more blood.

“I’m sorry,“ Hero rasped, licking their lips. “I…“ “You needed it,“ Villain answered flatly. “Though how I’m going to explain this is going to be a difficult thing indeed.“ “I’d been trying to find you, but I didn’t have long… [Other Villain] had kept me locked up. [Villain], they know my secret a.and I don’t know what to do.“

Villain continued to stroke their hair. “I’ll see what I can do. But for now, you need to rest.” “So do you,“ Hero answered weakly. “That… that was a lot. I’m sorry…“ “Don’t worry about it, but after this, we are even, you understand?“

Hero nodded hesitantly.

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What is so special about you?

I checked. I watched your life unfold, Arty.

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dapperleee

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I've been neglecting faroeverse lately

I also don't think Noel fully bought that lie but he's respectful like that. An ally!!

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Glad Fyodor's finally dead, everyone's alive and we can go back to solving cases and flirting fighting with the PM :D

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Why can't Kayne see the lighter and why is he always talking about John and Arthur having "something special that I can't see," and why did the Vanguard say, "This too shall pass," and the lighter was Roland's but Faroe's light is in the fire, in EVERY fire that Arthur lights with his magic little lighter??? It's not literally Faroe, is it? (Her name is so much like "lighthouse" in Spanish, is that where it's from? She's his guiding light?) Is it hope? Is hope what Kayne doesn't understand? The hope that, yes, this too shall pass? Can you tell I binged all this shit so recently that I never had to wait for episodes before the last one?

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dapperleee

2 months ago

Seeing as my internal rewards system has moved on to 'trans fiction' from 'queer horror audio drama podcast' I thought I should do a little roundup of everything I listened to the past few months.

A rough ranking:

Malevolent. Just squeaking into the top spot here based on 1) technical prowess (iykyk) 2) compelling characters and story and 3) they are my blorbos your honor!!! Mind boggling that Harlan Guthrie has so much chemistry with himself.

The Silt Verses. Only topped by Malevolent bc season 1 is not as polished, but it really doesn't matter. Top tier characters, amazing worldbuilding, intricate plotting and it had something to SAY about the casual violence of systems, the nature of hope, the complexity of being human in a world that tries to make us inhuman. Also, it doesn't rely on some thin recording contrivance (a framing device that has its place) and instead truly takes the mantle of audio drama without apology.

The White Vault. On the topic of framing devices, TWV has a very cool take on found footage recordings. A group of [researchers/archeologists] are sent to investigate a remote site in [Svalbard/Patagonia] and the podcast is structured as a documentarian presenting the notes, recordings and diary entries in a reconstructed timeline. My favorite element is that many of the characters don't make their notes in English, so the segments will often open with the VA speaking German, Spanish, Mandarin, Icelandic, Russian, etc etc before fading into the translation. There are miniseries between the seasons available on their patreon and they were so worth the $10 I paid to access them for a month. Reveals are slow, but worthwhile, and the mythology built for the show is highly original and intriguing.

Deviser. A one season contained story from Harlan Guthrie of Malevolent. Scifi, psychological, lots of wet awful body horror. If you're a fan of Harlan wimpering into a mic, you'll love this one.

WOE.BEGONE. Long, ongoing, and so so so far from the original premise it's hilarious, I'm ranking this higher than it maybe deserves for two factors 1) the creator and the VAs are clearly having a blast and 2) it's riding the line of taking itself serious despite a premise that invites irony poisoning without becoming too wrapped up in itself. It's fun, I think, that keeps w.bg strong.

The Magnus Archives. Should this be one up? Probably. But everyone bloody well knows tma by this point, it's good, great even! Beyoncé of horror podcasts.

I Am In Eskew. Only knocked down due to the actually godawful sound quality. Truly unsettling stories though (the one with the building architect haunts me) and a surprisingly realistic conclusion. You can see the bones of The Silt Verses here, from the same creative team.

The Magnus Protocol. Everything above this is there due to originality. As a sequel series, TMAGP will always suffer in that measure. However, I like our new cast and I do love an alternate reality. Curious to see where season 2 takes us. I'd like to kill Mr Bonzo in a fire.

The Inexplicables. Another one season story, this time from Rusty Quill, with really fun, flawed characters and no recording framing device!

Wolf 359. Storywise, great! Characters, excellent! Kicking it way to the bottom bc they just would NOT STOP referencing H***y P****r. Yes, Doug's characterization hangs on excessive reference humor, but that was one well I wish they'd left alone.

Red Valley. Knocked for HP references too (come ON british podcasters, do better) but more importantly for veering WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY too close to real life in season 3 onward. I was here for a horror sci fi story about cryogenics, not to listen to my worst climate disaster fears brought to life via hearing rich old sods try to buy their way out of consequences while the world burns and eco terrorism escalates. Too real. Not bad storytelling, just very much not fulfilling my escapism needs.

It's kinda crazy to me that anytime I mention this genre to normies in my life they say, "oh, like true crime podcasts?" And then I die inside. No dude, like radio drama. Like War of the Worlds.

Anyway, I'm off to get even less relatable by reading a zillion niche trans novels (hello Welcome to Dorley Hall, aka, what if there really was a 'trans cult' force femming dudes to undermine their masculinity? It's amazing how much yarn we can make by subverting the cis gaze.)

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dapperleee

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Not romantic, not platonic, just gods favorite and god himself

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dapperleee

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