Amazons: Our village has been hit by a strange condition! Those of us who can make do with other women can relieve this tension…but those of us who prefer men cannot! Since we do not allow men onto our islands we can’t relieve ourselves in a satisfying way!
Enchantress: As your only link to the world outside of this island, it is up to me to solve this problem! Since you all desire a man to satisfy your ails, I will randomly select one man out of the billions in the world to charge with the duty of helping all of you!
Enchantress: *casts teleportation spell*
*POOF*
Hero: *admiring a sword sheathe with a price tag* Does this come in camo pattern? Wait, where the hell am I? Who are all you women?
The hero sees the enchantress.
Hero: You! *Raises sword*
The Enchantress snatches the hero’s sword hand and magics the sword from his grip.
Enchantress: Hero! Stop playing around! You are greatly needed by these Amazonian villagers! They have been poisoned by some horrible fiend who put aphrodisiacs in their water supply! Give them the sexual relief they need right now!
Hero: What? That isn’t a worthy cause! Let go of me!
The Enchantress gags the hero and binds his wrists behind his back. She takes away his sword and weapons and disintegrates his clothes.
Enchantress: You may pretend not to care about their plight, jaded hero, but I know that your heroic heart aches to help them! Don’t fight your urges, hero! Now go save this village!
The hero’s muted cries cannot be heard as he is taken by the amazons to the tent in which he will spend several days serving the needs of the village’s straight and bisexual population. The enchantress thinks to herself: I am such a generous girlfriend!
The Queen
“Right, loser, I’m getting ready to do a real cat burglar’s job!” grunted Miriam and she tugged on her tight PVC suit over her bra and pantyhose while Eric, the masked, but securely bound, pretender looked on helplessly. “You can stay here and try and figure out why a clumsy oaf like you ever thought he could supplant the Queen of Diamonds!”
Eric took in the awesome figure of his former heroine as she got changed and realised he was a fool to think he could ever have taken the Queen’s place. He had hoped to steal the Primrose Necklace from Miriam’s very own stash to prove his point, but the female cat burglar had clearly got wind of his scheme and had lain in wait for him and, in the event, easily captured him. Now he was tied hand and foot and at her mercy.
“How do I look?” Miriam laughed, zipping up the well fitting shiny black suit. Eric, contemptuously gagged under his mask, was unable to answer. “I am off to liberate Senator Stanton of the Blue Pearl.” she told her captive. “When I get back, I will drop you off at police headquarters with a signed confession to all my recent escapades.” Eric groaned as the Queen of Diamonds turned on her heel, and sashayed out of the door. “Don’t go anywhere now, sweetie!” she called back at the humiliated would be master thief. “I’ll be back before you know it!”
Source: Burglar Blair video available on Clips4Sale
Bratty girls know you’re so addicted.
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