Sunday Ladies #48-24

Perfection demanded.

Somebody to Love

I die a little inside every time she gives me this look. The worst part is she doesn’t do it to be mean. It’s just natural for her now.

It’s the look I get when she knows I have a diaper in need of changing. But that’s not what bothers me, it’s true, I do need a change.

It’s how she looks at me. Like I’m a poor, helpless toddler who just couldn’t help himself.

I hate that she sees me as an object of pity. That I’m just a “cutie” who needs a “real” adult to navigate life. That she’s the adult. And you can guess who the cutie is.

What bothers me most is there is still love in her eyes. And I know what you’re thinking—isn’t that a good thing? And, sure, it’s better than loathing or scorn.

But not by much.

Do you know what it’s like to see the girl who once thought I was the love of her life look at me like this? Without any hint of sexual attraction. All because I’m in diapers?

I saw the spark of our love life fade in her eyes the first time she saw me in a diaper. The moment I went from her boyfriend to…whatever this is.

She doesn’t see me as a man, not when I’m in diapers. She doesn’t treat me like a man, either. The way she speaks to me is different. The way she acts around me is different.

I’m just so tired of this. Of being her “cute” little diaper boy. Of the silly way she speaks when she feels my wet diaper.

Just because I’m in diapers doesn’t change the way I feel about it her. I still crave her, I still want to be the person who keeps her warm at night.

But I’m not asking to do that again. I can still hear her condescending laugh the last time I did.

And now she’s about to discover I’m not just wet. A new low in our “relationship.”

Well-Dressed Women #151