Life Of A Drone:

L A D I E S N I G H T

Just another silly little story.

Enchantress: Shall we begin with the 

Princess: Now now, enchantress. There’s no reason we need to discuss all of this right away! We should catch up while the tea is still hot, shouldn’t we?

Apprentice: Um…

The apprentice sits awkwardly around the round table of animate wood… The chairs growing from the ground, their wooden legs twining vines…

Apprentice: For… for what reason did you want me to be here again, Princess?

Princess: To be honest? You were just swept up in all of this. But please, I don’t want you to panic! Me and the enchantress treat these little treatises as sacred and we’re both on our best behavior!

Enchantress: *Chuckles* Relatively, anyway. Care for as scone? *Places plate of biscuits on table*

Apprentice: Is this… meeting.. a common thing between the two of you?

It’s a bizarre sight to be sure. The princess, who rarely leaves her room, much less the palace, sitting in this pocket universe, diplomatically courting favor with the enchantress. The princess shrugs.

Princess: It’s necessary. The hero may have been the one to suggest and bring about the truce with the enchantress… Or rather the alliance, as it has turned into… But such a thing is too delicate for his rather blunt and the hero isn’t suited at all for such things…

Enchantress: Indeed… I could swindle him out of anything if it weren’t for the cunning princess… Tsk tsk.

Princess: So the enchantress agreed a year back to discuss with me the details. That way the hero can play… um… a different role…

The princess blushes. The enchantress smirks. The apprentice turns to look at the hero in the corner… He is half naked, wearing only torn shorts and struggling against a wad of tentacles, determined to consume and invade his lower half…

Hero: Damn it… Almost there… Stupid thing… Oh, ignore me, Bell! I’ll be… Erg… Fine…

Apprentice: Um… What’s his role here, exactly?

Princess: Well, you see, er… While we have our chats, the enchantress usually keeps him around. He is the whole reason the alliance exists anyways, so she likes to keep him… unwillingly… as a reminder-!

Enchantress: He’s our stripper. 

Princess: ENCHANTRESS!

Enchantress: *Smirks* Deny it all you wish, princess. You love this just as much as I do. Probably moreso, since it’s not so common a sight for you.

The princess blushes. It’s obvious to the other two that what the enchantress says is correct. She enjoys the sight all too much.

Enchantress: Anyways, Princess! How has life been with the new kitchen I’ve added to your room, hidden behind the fireplace?

Princess: O-oh, just splendid, enchantress! I appreciate the opportunity to learn how to prepare my own meals without-!

Hero: GOT IT!

*The three women turn to see the hero free itself of the tentacle. He smacks it with a broken spear until it’s still… He awkwardly approaches the table…*

Hero: Ah… Hi, princess. Um… Enchantress. Hey, Bell. Sorry you had to see that…

Apprentice: Y-yeah…

Hero: Welp. I see the two of you are just setting up… I’ll take my leave early tonight…

Enchantress: Oh? You won’t stay a while longer, hero? I’m sure I can offer something that will convince you to stay…

The enchantress places a plate of caramel snacks on the table… The hero swallows, tempted…

Hero: Ah… Well… I suppose I can stay for just one snack…

The enchantress places several plates on the table full of a variety of beautiful cakes. 

Hero: Mother-Fucker…

The princess and the enchantress enjoy a meeting of discussing pleasantries, and doing their best to make the young apprentice feel welcome. The hero could not resist staying for the snacks. Pretty soon the wad of tentacles awakened and snatched him up all over again, much to the apprentice’s horror, the enchantress’s amusement, and secretly to the princess’s delight.

I remember when Wolverine comics were like that.

PUSSYFREE