Dangerousangleofadream - Femdom

BDSM Links And Resources

I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.

Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.

Websites:

Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.

Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.

DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.

Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.

Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.

Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.

Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.

The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.

Dating and Relationships:

10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)

Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)

Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)

How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)

Play:

Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)

Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

Safety:

Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)

Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)

Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)

S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)

Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:

BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)

BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)

Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)

What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare:

Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)

Dominance and Dominants:

A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: cherhatton.tumblr.com)

An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)

Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)

Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)

Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)

How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Submission and Submissives:

10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)

Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)

Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)

Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

Books:

BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer

Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs

Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel

Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel

Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon

SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

The Control Book by Peter Masters

The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino

This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters

Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker

Just warming me up

2023-06-20 We had a serious conversation. She is happy… to have me, kept caged… for a year.

"You're a good boy." she told me.

I swelled in my cage. I blushed. I squirmed.

She grabbed my wrist and held it by her cheek.

I begged her to tell me what it means to be a good boy

"You're wriggly, and fun to bite"

She bit my throat and marked me.

"You're delicious."

I swooned.

I asked her if I can stay this way. she said yes.

She enjoys having her wriggly rabbit back. She’s glad I came back to her.

I got really excited by those words. I feel I came back to her when I restarted chastity.

After toying with me for a while she had a new question for me:

“What does being a good boy mean to you?“

I was stunned. I stammered. She kept coaxing me to speak. I didn’t want to say too much.

I couldn't say out loud "kept caged and frustrated"

I told her “I’m letting go”

She read my mind: “Are you floating?”

”Yes.”

“Is it warm?“

Oh god.. “yes”

She asked me to explain more what it means to be a good boy.

I told her that I'm creamy.

"Sometimes", she corrected.

"Well. I'm brimful. Your little cream pot"

She loved that metaphor. She cooed. I continued

"I missed the cage.“

She purred

I got sober and direct. I don’t remember when I sat up and broke out of my wide eyed bliss.

“It helps me be present. I am grateful. I am glad you enjoy me." I was earnest and honest in this.

Then I told her about the morning I felt she didn’t want me In chastity.

"I thought you were upset because I was caged …."

"No." she interjected

"…and you wanted to touch me."

"No." she stated again.

I was struck at how matter of fact she was. But I continued to explain the exact situation so she remembered.

"I asked you to lick your finger and touch my frenum"

She did remember "No. I didn't want to because it makes you tacky when I do that.”

Silently I was struck how I misinterpreted her completely.

"But wasn't I wet?" I thought I was. I felt wet.

"No. Your crown gets wet. Your frenum was dry."

"Oh. I didn't know....“ I had not realized or understood her in that moment at all. I was apparently getting pushy, and telling her how to tease me.

So I changed the subject while we were soberly talking through miscommunications. I switched to a conversation in mid-February

“You once said you'd never interfere with my chastity. I didn't know if that was a promise or a statement."

"It was a statement." she interrupted.

"You don’t need to say ‘never’. I don't want promises or rules."

"Ok. I understand."

"I need encouragement. I don't want enforcement. I don't want negative emotions, or you to feel like you can't trust me."

She understood. She agreed it’s better this way.

"I want you to enjoy me. I react well to praise."

"Really?!" she laughed at how obvious that was.

"Well I know what I need better now."

"That's good"

I pointed to her drawers.

"There's a key in the drawer if you ever want to use it. I'm not asking you to hold the key.” ”You can break in case of a… whim. I'm not challenging you to want to use it. I just don't want you to feel like you don't have control.“

She nodded.

“I know there’ve been times you've wanted to give me a big orgasm for emotional reasons. I don't want to take anything away from you. I don't want barriers between us."

"I understand."

"So I want to stay caged. Is that ok?"

"Of course." she said. She sounded quizzical: "You've been locked for a year before"

OMFG It's like she reads my mind

I’ve never told her this is my current goal. I swallowed the immediate urge to correct her. But I didn’t. The truth is I was only caged 12 out of 13 months 2020 June - 2021 July, with a break in September. And she did let me out for teasing and edging. In fact my journal shows she gave me 14 orgasms while kept in enforced chastity over 99% of the time, except for that September.

I did not tell her my current goal of staying caged and denied orgasm for a full year. I never mentioned it. Not once.

She's not seeing the difference.

I told her "You have limits too."

She assured me she's fine. She did not feel I was taking anything away from her, or pushing her. This wasn’t me angling for something more or less.

I had misinterpreted her frustration with me when I asked her to make my magic spot wet. I brought it up again to confirm. She had seemed upset when I asked her to lick her finger and touch the bit of pink skin that bulges through the cage rods behind my PA piercing.

"I could have used coconut oil." she reflected.

"So you weren't wanting me uncaged."

"No"

(God I love coconut oil)

She didn't say it but it was obvious now she was only annoyed I tried to tell her how to tease me, and show her what to do. I was taking control, and she pushed back.

Her words "I don't want to." without explanation was due to me getting pushy.

She couldn't be more matter of fact. She isn't making a vow or promise, or feeling like she's giving up something. Not at all.

She will never interfere with my chastity. She will never want me unlocked. I could stay caged indefinitely and be happy... thrilled even. It's just a statement.

She’s very pleased to have me wriggling in her arms, and easy to tease.

I told her to keep encouraging me and praising me. This works.

I explained that my health and sleep issues caused me to decide to take off the cage last year. I didn’t want any impediment to getting a good night’s sleep. I masturbated and had orgasms alone to help me fall asleep.

“That’s valid“ she agreed.

So me being caged is a sign that I’m feeling better. (Back to normal)

She is very happy to have me. Have me back. Have me kept frustrated. Have me kept caged.

She said it. It’s simply a fact. She will not interfere and remove my cage. She knows herself. She’s letting me know. It’s just a statement. It’s ok.

I never need to cum. I never need out of my cage.

She never needs me to cum. She never needs me out of my cage.

After our conversation I kept bubbling over.

I followed her from the bed as she left to shower and start her day. I was puppy dogging her.

I told her that I do need more than sweet cuddling.

I told her bluntly “I want to get fucked”.

I waxed on how I wanted her to take me, penetrate me, finger me. Or just make me feel fuckable. Playing with my ass, spanking and squeezing makes me feel sexy. I do need sex. But I can stay caged.

I started to say that last time (in 2021 when I broke) that I just needed to be fucked. As I spoke she reached to grab and squeeze my ass. Then when her hand slid down, silently promising more, I lost the ability to form sentences.

I moaned. She made me feel fuckable. She smirked. She's happy with me. She doesn’t need me unlocked to push my deep buttons.

She knows.

She said “You‘ve been caged for a year before.“

And while I never told her this is my plan… to finally float for 12 months in caged denial.

She knows.

—

Afterword:

I did not mean to have this serious conversation this morning. It just happened to be on the 114th day since she last fondled my uncaged cockhead. My glans hasn’t been touched since.

Her edges were slow gentle and careful. She got me pouring over, without force, without a single twitch, without a hint of climax, until I begged her to stop. Then she gave me one more before I scrambled back into my cage, desperate to stay floating on the high of denial. Today just happens to be 114 days since I was unlocked and given a ruined orgasm.

Why is 114 days important? That’s my prior record for orgasm denial. I had only been in enforced chastity and denied orgasm for 114 straight days as of 2021 April 25th. On New Year’s Day, 2021 January 1st, she had asked if I could cope if this next orgasm she was about to give was… well she said “Could you cope if this was your last one?…“

I had apparently gulped this down, it was hard to swallow, and she saw my face fall.

“…this year”, she added, softening the sentence. She had praised me for being easy to mindfuck.

Today wasn’t just a mindfuck. It was a statement of fact. She will never want me unlocked. She will never interfere with my chastity. She is fine with “a year” of caged denial, even though I didn‘t tell her about my goal. She’s happy.

So.. Today… Today is exactly 19 weeks since my last full orgasm. Today is over 16 weeks since my last spill while out of my cage. I’m floating adrift in unchartered waters.

She said it. She meant it. This was not a promise or a threat. This was a simple fact and self accepting knowledge.

She said I can stay caged. I can be kept denied.

She said I can be kept ”for a year” (like) “before”.

She said it. Plainly. Then she said it again with a genuine warm smile. She enjoys me.

She’s grateful.