Dangerousangleofadream - Femdom

Choosing a Chastity Cage

FLR Tips is the sister site to FLR Info, where you’ll find introductory information about Female-Led Relationships. If you’re new to this, you should head over there. This site is about the practical, day-to-day aspects of FLRs. It is much more explicit and quite sex/femdom-oriented.

By making your man wear a chastity cage 24/7, you can control his erections and orgasms. 

Stated matter-of-factly like that, it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but make no mistake - it is! Not only do you control his erections and orgasms, but he’ll be walking around with a constant reminder of your special arrangement, which goes a long way towards fulfilling his need for the arrangment to be rooted in something sexual and kinky.

In fact, I believe many FLR-leaning couples could simply add a constantly worn chastity device to their relationship and reap 90% of the benefits of a more elaborate FLR setup. The man gets his kink while at the same time building up his desire to serve, and the women gets her worshipping/pampering/sexual attention, without the ups and downs that comes with a man who can decide for himself when to become erect or have an orgasm.

But all of this hinges on the requirement that the man must wear the device constantly. Whenever you aren’t actively using his penis for something, it is securely locked away. In order to do this successfully, you’ll need a cage that works well with long-time wear, and that’s what the rest of this article is about.

***

There are several factors you’ll need to consider when choosing a cage. Let’s go over them one by one.

Size

Men and their penises come in many different sizes, and you should choose a cage that fits your particular man. But what, exactly, makes a chastity cage fit?

In our experience, the most important factor when it comes to size, is that the part of the cage that holds the penis itself should be pretty short, so that even when his penis is in its most shriveled-up state, the tip of the penis will almost never have any clearance with respect to the tip of the cage - there should be contact at all times.

There are several reasons why this is a good thing. The most important one is that it makes night-time erections less painful. Somewhat unintuitively, the less room his penis has to grow, the less it hurts. When he can’t even get semi-erect, it prevents the cage from pulling too hard on his testicles (which is what causes the most pain).

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the thought of him having some discomfort during the night, while I am sleeping like a baby after receiving my massages and orgasm(s) for the night. Even a small cage hurts a little, especially in the beginning, but not to the point that it causes a real issue. I want my husband to sleep well too, for the most part - it’s important for his long-term health.

Another reason we like a small cage is that it really does prevent him from getting an erection. It’s not just a slightly crippled erection that hurts in that good way - there is no erection, period. He’ll swell up, of course, and push the cage away from his body a little, but that’s it. And we enjoy the fact that the control I assert over his erections is real.

Finally, a small cage is easier to hide under clothes, especially if you get one with an integrated locking mechanism (ie. no padlock required), which I highly recommend.

Material

Chastity cages typically come in three materials: Plastic, silicone and metal. 

My distinct impression is that most people start out with a cage made of plastic. For the most part, they work really well as far as restricting the penis goes, and they are excellent starter cages to get a sense of how it feels to have one’s penis locked away, or how it feels to hold the keys to a man’s penis. And if you just want a chastity cage that you can use as a fun sex toy, they do the job admirably.

BUT, I do not want you trying to establish a long-term chastity regiment using a plastic cage. You see, the thing about plastic cages is that they are terribly unhygienic, in our opinion. After just half a day or so they’ll acquire an unpleasant odour, and they are notoriously hard to clean without being removed, which makes them simply unsuitable for our purposes.

Luckily, there’s a simple solution: Metal cages. I don’t know the chemistry behind it, but metal cages just don’t have any issues in this regard. And they are typically much more open, so my husband simply cleans the cage and its penile occupant every night with soap and water, while remaining locked, and it works like a charm. Both the cage and his penis dry up within minutes, with no moisture trapped inside the cage.

Not only that, but aesthetically speaking, metal cages are the only ones that work for me. They look masculine and shiny and incredibly solid (which they are), not to mention that they feel much better to touch and play with.

We have very little experience with the silicone ones, to be honest, and a big part of the reason is that they just seem too flimsy, too flexible. I’m sure they work for some people, but our tastes lie elsewhere.

So, metal it is. I’m sure you’ll find people who use plastic cages for long-term chastity with no issues, but this was pretty clear-cut for us. We moved on from plastic very quickly and haven’t looked back (or even sideways).

Security

By “security”, I mean the ability of a cage to ensure that the man is not able to free or stimulate his penis. The importance of this particular parameter probably varies wildly from couple to couple. 

For us, it isn’t terribly important. I can certainly see the appeal in having a 100% secure cage, but not if it complicates things in any way.

Most regular cages can be escaped from. It might not be easy, and it might hurt quite a bit, but most determined men can find a way to pull their penis out and do the deed. It might be very difficult to put it back in without the key, though, so those who hope to be able to slip it out at their convenience and then put it back unnoticed may be in for a surprise. But frustrated men are resourceful, if anything, so I’m sure there are those who can do that successfully too.

It boils down to trust and intent. If the cage is intended to be a tool to help you as a couple to achieve the amazing life hack that a successful FLR relationship is, then the hoops he would have to jump through to free his penis without the key should be enough to remind him that he is not supposed to do that, and continuing on that path could easily end up damaging the relationship - not because chastity is important in itself, but because it is a violation of trust, which is bad for any relationship.

It’s very simple in our relationship: By mutual understanding, any attempt to escape or cheat when the cage is locked means jeopardizing the entire FLR part of the relationship. Others might have a more playful attitude towards this, maybe even develop it into a sort of cat-and-mouse game where he is always trying to escape and she is always trying to come up with ever more secure cages. That’s fine, of course, but not for us.

So why not dispense with the cage altogether, if it’s based on trust anyway? Many reasons! It’s not all based on trust, there is a real barrier to cross to be able to circumvent the cage. And even the most devoted man cannot just decide to never have erections, simply to please his woman. Not to mention the joy of having an actual, physical cage and an actual, physical key, that, for the most part, work exactly as intended. We get a lot of pleasure from the chastity cage.

If security is very important to you, and you are not afraid to take things pretty far, you should do some research on urethra cages and/or Prince Albert piercings and cages that are designed to integrate with them. I’ve also been told that there are outfits that make custom-built cages that can be very secure. These apparantly cost several hundred or even thousands of USD, but go nuts if that’s your thing!

Other considerations

Price is obviously a factor for many people. A quality metal cage actually costs less than many of the plastic ones, typically in the range of 25-50 USD.

Where to get one? We have bought all our cages from an online store with the rather silly name Toys 4 Naughty Boys in the UK. Another company with a very nice selection is the US-based Lock The Cock, which also has a presence in Europe.

And, since I have already gotten this question many times, the cage we currently rely on for day-to-day use is the Tight Squeeze III.

The power is addictive!

Drool - Part 2

💊 Part 1 💊

"Well someone has ants in their pants! Are you excited to have a room all to yourself?"

Your jaw would drop if it weren't already anchored open by the giant pink pacifier bobbing stupidly in your mouth. You try to catch your breath, but it isn't a simple task. The only way you can comfortably inhale is to gum the firm, rubbery shaft in a regular rhythm, suckling like a lamb as you breathe through your nose in soft, short bursts. The metronome of your squeaking and puffing is interrupted only by sporadic, thunderous slurps, when your full mouth is no longer able to accomodate the ocean of spit spilling out from under your flattened tongue. Any saliva you're unable to swallow bubbles out from behind the shield of the pacifier in a geyser of slimy drool. It glazes your cheeks and chin before draining pitifully onto the front of the tight, cloth bib wrapped around your neck.

And yet, despite the bizarre predicament you find yourself in -- uselessly pawing at your thin paper hospital gown in a pair of pink mitten restraints -- the sight of this bedroom plunges you further into the depths of astonishment.

The pastel purple accent wall is dominated by a life-sized mural of a bashful unicorn, which trots gaily along a rainbow road. A small dresser stands in the opposite corner, painted in the same cream-white and pink trim as the heavy fiberglass guardrails of the hospital-style bed. The large flatscreen television suspended from a high wall is already turned on: a cartoon bunny wearing shortalls stares down at you, singing hypnotically about his favorite letters of the alphabet. The entrance to the small bathroom -- tiled in bubblegum pink -- has no door, and is fully visible from the hallway when the room's privacy curtain is drawn open.

"Nnnngggh eehn ahhee nnggh?" You gurgle in confusion to Nurse Molly, tickling your nose with the spit bubbles that froth up behind the shield of your pacifier. This can't possibly be the room they assigned for you! What is going on here? Unable to bite your lip or scratch yourself to ease your anxiety, you stomp and shuffle awkwardly in the pink jelly sandals you had been given to wear with the matching hospital gown. You use the round, squishy toe of your right shoe to play with the jelly strap of your left, lightly skinning the back of your ankle in the process.

"Sorry, honey," Nurse Molly replies with a dismissive smile. "It'll be tough for us to have a chat during your oral treatments. Before we get you settled in, we need to do something about your fidgeting; you're going to trip and hurt yourself dancing around like that."

Nurse Molly reaches into the pocket of her pink scrubs before playfully shaking an orange cylinder of pills in front of your dripping face.

"These -- " she rattles the container again, as if teasing you with an enticing treat. " -- are a simple muscle relaxer. While our program is set up to address the root cause of your tics, medication can provide some short-term relief in the early stages of treatment. These pills might make your arms and legs feel a little funny, so it's best if you lie down for an hour or two after taking them, until we find a good dosage."

Nurse Molly walks over to the bed and releases a latch under one of the fiberglass guardrails. The chunky, solid barriers of poured white plastic fold down, granting you ingress to the elevated mattress.

You hesitate, feeling the gentle rain of spittle on your chin as you once again behold the giant unicorn on the wall. Everything about this situation feels wrong, and yet Nurse Molly's impassive assurances are filled with so much promise. You imagine the life you could be living soon: no longer afraid to speak in public, no longer drawing looks of concern from your scratching and biting, no longer annoying your peers with shaking legs or incessant tapping...

In defiance of your gut instinct, you climb up onto the bed. Nurse Molly guides you into a supine position as you struggle to gain purchase with your slippery, balled mittens. Soon, she has you on your back, staring up at the dumb cartoon as you paw nervously at the guardrails.

"Stay right there, honey," Nurse Molly retreats to the pink-tiled bathroom and you hear the sound of running water. When she returns to your side, your eyes flutter in shock. She seems to have found an enormous plastic bottle with a wide rubber nipple cap, and filled it to the brim.

"It's important to take these pills with lots of fluids. The water carries the medicine throughout your body and helps it take action more quickly," Nurse Molly explains with clinical confidence. Your lips tingle as Nurse Molly firmly grips the shield of your pacifier with a finger and thumb, sliding the silicone shaft out along the curve of your tongue like a damp carrot being plucked from the ground. You grimace as you watch a thick, cloudy rope of saliva chase the shaft of the pacifier through the air for several inches, then collapse like a heavy bridge onto the front of your soaked bib.

Despite the humilation, you take a moment to rejoice in the feeling of emptiness in your mouth. Your teeth feel strange as they involuntarily clamp down on your bottom lip -- almost like they had shifted slightly to accomodate the bulging, rubbery guest that had come to join them.

"It's worse than I thought," Nurse Molly coos with concern, holding your drool-coated chin with a gloved hand as she massages the inside of your lower lip with her thumb. "We won't be able to leave you without the oral device for long. Until I can consult with the doctor, we're going to keep it in whenever you're not eating or drinking."

"B-b-but -- " The taste of latex from Nurse Molly's gloved thumb is replaced by the slightly bitter flavor of three large pills, which begin dissolving as she drops them onto your tongue. Your stammering attempt at speech is both literally and figuratively drowned as your doting caretaker tips the plastic bottle upside-down, sliding the rubber cap between your slick, drooly lips.

"Soon, all those squirmies are going to go away," she says breezily, squeezing the bottle so that you're forced to gulp down the fountain of cold water. "You'll feel so relaxed...so calm..."

The minutes tick by slowly as Nurse Molly continues to empty the bottle down your throat. You're cognizant of the cartoon playing on the television, but the sing-song of the character voices seems to melt into the background. Your arms do feel a bit funny...and heavy...like they would struggle to lift their own weight...

By the time the bottle announces its emptiness with a few notes of airy suction, your tongue is lolling lazily in your mouth. You don't feel intoxicated, just...

...flat...and...slow...

You want to say something else before Nurse Molly eases the pacifier back into your pliant mouth, but it feels like it would take too much effort. Once again stuffed full with the bulbous shaft, you barely take notice of the pink leather strap she loops around the back of your head and through two holes in the pacifier's bobbing shield. It's now snugly secured to your suckling lips.

"We can't have it falling out if you decide to take a nap," she grins, taking a moment to wipe your chin with the saturated bib. "I'm going to go check in on some other patients. Why don't you take it easy for a bit?"

Lifting and locking the fiberglass guardrails back into place, Nurse Molly pulls the privacy curtain of your room closed before leaving you alone with the sickly sweet sing-alongs of the cartoon show. You wish she had left you with the remote so you could change the channel, but realize your dumb mittened hands couldn't work the buttons anyway. Your body seems to melt into the mattress as you're forced to listen to the cartoon rabbit's next song.

"Sometimes it's sunny and sometimes it pours!"

The muscle relaxers seem to be hitting even harder. You can barely keep your eyes open.

"When it rains outside, the puppy dog snores!"

You realize with some anxiety that you can't feel your legs anymore. The whole lower half of your body has gone limp.

"Thank you Mr. Cloud, because when we're awake,"

Something feels...warm...

"We'll dance in the puddles you're about to make!"

💊 Part 3 💊

Chloë Sevigny