There's No Turning Back Boy. There Is No More Safe Word For Today, Your Muzzle Gag Will Remain Locked

Understood?

Think about it.

Daycare Blues

“Only five more minutes until we have to come inside, little ones! Stretch out those feet before its time for diaper checks and naptime!”

You longingly stared at Sydney as she supervised recess at your daycare. Sydney had a special place in your life. You’d done so many firsts with her: first date, first kiss, first girlfriend, first love, and eventually your first—and last—sexual partner.

Sydney succeeded in everything she did. She was your high school Valedictorian, Student Council President, and even the top swimmer in the state, eventually receiving a college scholarship for it. She was popular and well-liked all through high school.

So were you. You dated Sydney your freshman and sophomore year of high school, where you explored so many things together. You loved her—and she loved you.

But by your junior year of high school, you got in with the wrong crowd. Instead of studying with her, you went out to get drunk. Rumors began to spread about your increasingly dangerous drug and alcohol use. By the time Sydney learned of your first affair, your relationship was over.

She was heartbroken, obviously. It took her months to get over you, especially when she listened to the gossip floating around about your weekend sexcapades. The last time you spoke was graduation—a brisk conversation barely acknowledging your past relationship.

Sydney only thought about you in passing over the next two years. She’d occasionally see pictures of you or hear vague updates about your life, but she was completely disinterested in hearing about your problems. You barely snuck into a lower tier college before flunking out in two years.

Then one day, your Facebook profile was suddenly gone. She stopped hearing anything about you. It was like you disappeared. She always wondered what had happened to you. You may have broke her heart, but she could never truly stop caring about you, even if she’d never want to be with you again.

At least, until she started working Biggest Widdle Daycare.

You saw her first that day. You were laying on the changing table in the middle of another messy diaper change. Your “Nanny” as they called them at Daycare, babbling at you like you were an actual toddler.

Please, no. Don’t let her see me like this.

“Almost done with wipies, Joey! Then you can go back to story time!”

“And over here is where we do diaper changes!” you hear the Principal explain, “as you can see it’s pretty busy!”

Your face burned as Sydney made eye contact with you.

“Joey…is that you?” she asked, shock in her voice.

Your Nanny answers for you, noticing your embarrassment. “It sure is! He’s my favorite lil’ stinker here! Always so well behaved!”

Sydney continues to stare at you in utter disbelief, her mouth opening and closing as she struggles to find any fitting words.

You cover your face as your Nanny applies a generous coating of baby powder. The infantile smell overwhelming your senses, olfactory proof of your new status in life.

“Yeah, we used to…” Sydney hesitates, “well, we were friends in high school.”

Your Nanny gave her a knowing look, “well, I’m sure you’ll be best friends again soon enough! Don’t you think, Joey?”

You sheepishly nod your head as your diaper is pulled up and taped on.

“There, all done, Joey! So much better than that icky diaper you had before! Why don’t you show your friend Sydney where you do story time!”

You look at your Nanny, eyes begging her to stop. “Oh, honey, I’m sure you want your shorts but I think it’s best we keep them off, you’ve already had two stinkies today. We need to check you more often.”

Sydney smiles, recovering herself, reaching out her hand for you to grab.

You look into her eyes, trying to figure what she’s thinking. You’re more embarrassed than you’ve ever been since your parents sent you to the Regression Center after you were arrested for possession of cocaine.

“Don’t be shy, Joey! It’s just me, Nanny Sydney! Can you be a big boy show me where story time is?”

You grab her hand, feeing a jolt of electricity flow through you. You remember her touch, how it made you feel, the power it once held over you. Memories race through your head, like a movie played at 5x speed.

Sydney’s hand flinches too, as if she too felt the same electricity. But if she also had the same thoughts, she didn’t show it.

“Thank you, Joey! My little prince, here to show me around his little kingdom!”

The reading nook is just across the room, in full view of the changing tables. You hate how condescending this walk is, but you’re still excited holding Sydney’s hand—not that kind of excited, though. You lost that ability along with your continence. Though the feeling of attraction torturously remained.

As you get to your designated spot, you obediently sit down. The Nanny reading the story smiles at you.

“I’ll come check on your diaper later, Joey,” Sydney whispers in your ear. You shiver, not in embarrassment, but longing.

You don’t hear any of the story for the next twenty minutes. Memories of your relationship with Sydney continue to flood your brain.

You see her laughing on her bed, half naked, waiting for you to come kiss her. Next, you’re cuddling up behind her as the big spoon, you can still feel her warm skin on yours. You hear her whispering in the darkness, promising she’ll always love you.

“Earth to Joey?” you hear distantly.

You look around, every other little is gone, excitedly preparing for recess.

“Something on your mind?” Sydney asks, “I know littles can be spacey but you were really out!”

“I, uh…” you mumble.

“It’s okay, Joey. It’s perfectly normal. Maybe it was just because you were working hard to fill that diapee for Nanny Sydney!”

Something about the way she said it made you feel smaller than you ever thought possible. You knew she remembered everything, just as you did. But calling herself Nanny Sydney…she didn’t see you as anything more than a little. That much was clear.

“Only a little soggy, mister! You excited for recess?”

“I guess…” you trail off.

“You guess? Well, you should be more excited than that! You get to run and play with Nanny Sydney! That warrants more than a ‘I guess!’ Can you say ‘I’m excited to play with Nanny Sydney,’ little one?”

“I’m excited to play with Nanny Sydney,” you say, slightly louder than a whisper.

“You can do better than that, sweetie! I want to feel your excitement!”

The process repeats three more times, each time getting slightly louder.

You finally tell, surprising the other littles around you. Sydney grabs your hand, “great job, Joey! Now, what’s your favorite game?”

Sydney stayed glued your side the rest of your day, asking you questions about your current favorite games and activities, your favorite movies, and favorite snacks.

She never asked anything about your life before your regression. Nor did she ever mention your past relationship with her. Both of you knew the other remembered those days—and nights—you spent together. But it was left unsaid.

You were just starting to feel comfortable around Sydney, despite waddling around daycare in a t-shirt and exposed diaper, one you knew was getting heavier by the minute, when she asked you to come to her.

“I may be new here, mister, but I know a diaper that needs to be changed when I see it! Follow me while I get my supervisor.”

What followed was the most embarrassing diaper change of your life. Not only was your former girlfriend changing your diaper, but she was being trained as she did.

It wasn’t a quick diaper change. It was slow, methodical, and frequently interrupted by instructions and comments—and giggling.

“Make sure you wipe him well down there, Sydney! I know, that’s a side effect of regression, it’s perfectly normal! But don’t worry, he’s not able to get those anymore!” More giggles.

“You want to make sure you get powder everywhere, especially Joey’s bottom. He’s prone to rashes and his mother is very particular! Oh, you know her? Awww, that’s why you’re such fast friends!” Cue the giggles.

Later that night—evening, really—you lay in your crib thinking about Nanny Sydney. You wonder how different your life would have been had you stayed with her.

She wouldn’t be in charge of your diapers and serving you fruit cups at lunchtime at daycare—that’s for sure.

*cups your chin* have you been good today or do you need to be spanked?