That would work on me
https://boards.4channel.org/fit/thread/65392734
"My boyfriend is whisking me off to the Maldives for three weeks.
No you will not be required to join us. Don't be ridiculous!
Instead, I'm loaning you out to my friends, and I've drawn up a rota detailing who you will be serving, on what day. You do not deviate from this rota, understand?
When I get back, I had better hear good things about you, or we'll be trying out the shock collar again.
Now, kiss my feet goodbye."
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