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10 Ways for Highly Sensitive People To Create New Habits That Stick

May 6, 2019

In my last article, I mentioned the importance of consistency when it comes to practicing new behaviors to cope with emotional overwhelm. (The topic of the post).

In this post, I would like to build upon the topic by sharing some ways I have learned to integrate new behaviors or habits in such a way that improves my persistence. As I have learned over time, persistence is key!

Because I have always struggled with persistence and sticking to rigid routines and mundane tasks, I have had to strive for persistence in a number of ways. I have had to learn about the importance of implementing routines (particularly for HSPs) into a daily schedule.

Implementing daily habits and routines for HSPs can be a necessary component to achieving a sense of security and balance in an overwhelming world.

Building routines can be a great way for HSPs to seek comfort and a gain a sense of knowing what to expect in a world where unexpected things happen. It can also help HSPs maintain greater focus on personal goals/dreams when there are multiple distractions arising from multiple sources. I have learned that it can also help avoid procrastination, which can lead to regret and even more feelings overwhelm.

While routines can be an excellent tool to simplify one's life, I know many highly sensitive people can find change overwhelming. I know from experience that trying to change too many things at once can be overwhelming and be an obstacle to reaching goals. That is one reason I believe starting with small goals and gradually building up to larger goals is more beneficial.

It is important to know that creating new habits can take time and patience. The time it takes to build new habits can depend on the person, the habit, commitment to the habit, and other lifestyle factors. Many people believe it takes approximately one month to create a habit. Others believe it takes more or less time to reach their goals.

It has taken me various amounts of time and effort to create some of my current habits/routines, but I would like to share with you some helpful ways I have gradually created new routines/habits into my schedule. So far, it has helped improve the quality of my life and is helping me reach my goals at a more comfortable pace!

10 Ways to Build New Habits/Routines

1. Determine What You Truly Value and Intend to Create for Your Life

Knowing exactly what you want to achieve and prioritize can help give you a sense of where to start and simplify your goals. Writing down your intentions/goals can help you get more clear about your goals. It may include both long term and short term goals.

2. Start With Small Achievable Goals

This may include starting with one or two simple goals that are realistic and easy to achieve. These goals can be modified over time accordingly. The more the habits are practiced, the more likely it is to continue building upon the smaller goals. i.e. walking 10 minutes a day and gradually increasing the habit over time.

3. Combining a New Habit With Existing Habits

I find that tying new habits/routines to an existing routine is one of the best ways to not only get motivated, but can help with persistance. It is also a real time saver! For example, I started doing 10 jumping jacks after I brush my teeth each day. Over time I not only increased the amount of jumping jacks, but the amount I brush my teeth as well.

4. Using the Cue/Behavior/ Reward Technique

Everyone is different and may prefer different variations of this technique but the concept is the same. There are many sources online that further explain this concept. An example of this concept would be when I could barely get out of bed (let alone) take weekly classes, I chose to buy my favorite coffee drink (reward). The behavior or routine was getting out of bed and going to school. The cue was my alarm going off and the school day being on the schedule. Thankfully, I can attend class regularly without having to buy coffee every time but it did make a difference! Seeking out motivation and inspiration also helps facilitate the practice of a new habit. i.e. music, inspiring speeches etc...

5. Connections and Accountability

As I mentioned in my previous article, being accountable can help increase the chance of completing a task or goal. One way to be accountable is joining a community of people with similar objectives or goals. This can be helpful with motivation and create connections with others. i.e. Joining a fitness community online or in person.

6. Reminders

Having reminders such as visuals, auditory, written, or verbal reminders can be great ways to stay on track. i.e. leaving sticky notes around or using timers to complete tasks and stay on track.

7. Letting Go of Perfectionism

This includes not comparing yourself to others, letting go of "black and white" thinking, and expecting instant results. It's about knowing you may not do it all perfectly but you also don't give up on achieving your goals. I also find that having patience with yourself and the process and accepting that it is not going to be perfect can help with persistency.

8. Track your Progress and Celebrate the Milestones

Tracking your progress can help you see how far you've come to reach your goal. Rewarding yourself for your progress can help reinforce the new routine or habit you want to obtain. Some people use habit trackers or draw chains to keep track of progress. I also find that writing or talking about the progress can be another useful way to keep track of goals.

9.Environment

Similar to a growing plant, the right conditions to grow a new habit can impact the growth process of habit development. It's easier to focus on a goal or task in a comfortable environment. Also, being in a new environment provides new cues to start a new habit. It is about what works for you!

10. Replace a Negative Habit With a New Positive Habit

Much of our behavior is truly based on habits. This includes both positive and negative habits. I believe most people have at least one habit they know is not benefiting them and wish they could quit repeating it. Getting rid of negative habits can be difficult because the mind connects it with some kind of reward. The process of changing the behavior may also include setbacks, time, and may not occur in a linear fashion. There are also triggers or cues in the mind's connections that can trigger the behavior or habit. An example of replacing the negative habit is knowing your triggers or cues for the negative habit and replacing it with a new behavior. i.e. Drinking flavored sparkling water when having the urge to drink soda or alcohol. In this way, new connections can be made and the new habit can be developed over time.

Although most HSPs can be easily overwhelmed when faced with change , incorporating a degree of new healthy routines or replacing negative habits with positive ones can be beneficial. The tips in this article are ten of the ways I have worked toward developing new habits. Hopefully it will help someone achieve their goals and dreams! Feel free to let me know in the comments what works for you!

With Love,

Dahlia

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8 Ways For Highly Sensitive People to Break Free From Loneliness

October 31, 2019

Although it has taken me some time to write this article, I have been actively experimenting with techniques to break free from the loneliness I discussed in my last article.

I have recently discovered that loneliness can be temporary or it may be complex and chronic in nature. I am also realizing there is no quick and easy fix to my chronic sense of loneliness.

I do not believe one is hopeless in such a situation, as the healing process requires time and patience to overcome this obstacle.

I know many highly sensitive people can relate to my experience with loneliness. Therefore, I would love to share with you eight beneficial coping strategies that are bringing me a sense of relief on my healing path!

8 Ways a Highly Sensitive Person Can Break Free From the Chains of Loneliness and Gain a Sense of Connection!

1. Awareness

Being aware that you are lonely, rather than simply embracing solitude can be the first step to addressing an issue with loneliness. Having awareness about your vulnerabilities such as being HSP, experiencing grief, trauma, etc... It is also important to be aware that you are not alone and that there are others out there going through similar experiences. There truly is an abundance of support and like minded people in the world if you are willing to receive it!

2. Healing Work

Many highly sensitive people come from backgrounds filled with complex trauma or abuse that may have impacted the body mind and spirit of these sensitive souls. Therefore, an integrative approach may be beneficial in order to address the various underlying aspects that lead to a chronic sense of loneliness. For example, tending to one's physical, mental, and spiritual needs. Healing modalities may range from counseling, addiction recovery, therapy, support groups, alternative methods, and general health care. It may also require a degree of patience along with vigilance during the healing process and I know it is not an easy path (but worth it!)

3. Make Connection a Priority and Build It Into a Routine.

 An excellent way to integrate a sense of connection with routine, is by starting small and increasing socialization gradually. Since everyone has different personal and social needs, increasing one's sense of connection may look different from person to person. This may simply include going out for a walk, a friendly greeting to another person, connecting with the essence of nature, blocking out a specific time to spend with a close friend regularly. I personally find elements of comfort to be helpful( i.e. person, place, object, or existing routine), while transitioning to a new routine. As you gradually experiment with this concept, observe how each activity makes you feel to track progress over time. Over time, you can gain momentum and see how far you have come!

4. Seek Out Connections With Like Minded People and Value Existing Connections

As highly sensitive people, we tend to value deep connections and prefer depth over breadth in relationships rather than quantity. I know this can lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration for HSPs. I do believe it to be few and far between to find such connections but they do exist! Although it is rare, many of us have experienced these connections at some point in our lives and I am extremely grateful for those special connections as many people may never experience this in a lifetime!

Seeking out connections with like minded people can be comforting. You will also find that many others are going through similar experiences and not only need support but want to be supportive as well. By being available and of service to others, one can experience a sense of relief as well as connections.

 5. Lower Expectations With Others 

One thing I have observed about myself,(and many people in general) is a tendency to have unrealistic expectations about people without considering people's differences. I am learning that everyone approaches and processes situations differently, particularly in comparison to highly sensitive people. I also find that a great number of people in this day in age are not truly capable or available for healthy intimacy. Therefore, I realize the unnecessary struggle of taking things as personally.

6. Grounding

 There are a variety of ways to ground or center one's self.I find t connecting with nature to have profound effects, particularly after my recent visit to Alaska( ie. witnessing the beautiful scenery such as the northern lights). This can be a great way to not only embrace the sensory experience but escape from a ruminating mind. Exercises such as deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, or shielding energy with an imaginary white light or bubble can create a similar grounding effect.

Lastly, striving for a sense of autonomy and breaking free from entanglements/relationships that create energetic codependency can help protect a person's energy. Taking a walk and connecting with nature can also be a helpful technique to switch from a ruminating mind into the senses.

7. Busy Your Schedule Doing What You Love

 Volunteer for a cause that you value or participate in a hobby such as a creative project you are passionate about. I find that by immersing myself in these activities, I experience a sense of connection, purpose, and being part of something greater than myself and my struggles.

8.Connect With Yourself and Love Yourself Unconditionally

This can also be a great opportunity to embrace solitude and experience the oneness with life!

 Reexamine old beliefs about yourself or past experiences and see if it is an obstacle from putting yourself out there into the world. Many times we believe lies about ourselves and miss the opportunities to reach our potentials and create our dream lives as a result of false self beliefs. 

Learning to have self compassion and acceptance can be a great way to connect with yourself and love yourself unconditionally. I know this can take time and it can be rough at times but please remember that feelings are not always facts and whatever you are going through will pass.  Filling yourself with love and acceptance create self sufficiency. With this self sufficiency, I believe one can more easily love and connect with others as well as extend that love to others with a fuller love tank!

Thank you for letting me share about my experience with loneliness and the lessons I have learned regarding this issue! There truly can be so much more to this than simply needing to be around people as it is often more about experiencing healing and connection! How do you cope with loneliness or experience connection?

With Love,

Dahlia

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