“The Entire British Museum Is An Active Crime Scene” - John Oliver

Jewelry by Michael Michaud, so dreamy

This morning, I want to work on my project, but I also do not want to leave my nice warm bed and more importantly, I do not want to spill seed beads in my sheets again

All the beads I ordered are finaly here so I spent a few hours with my bed covered with containers of sead beads like a dragon on her hord.

Beads make me very happy.

Whenever I saw something very well-executed but spectacularly stupid - like a shitpost meme drawing, an animation with the dumbest plot fathomable, an impressively well-written piece of fanfiction where two minor characters try to fix a blender and end up building a car, or a really catchy song dedicated to getting one's dick stuck in a toaster - I used to wonder "who has this kind of time in their hands?" before I realised that the idiotic things made by someone with enough drive, skill and talent to go pro if they wanted to probably already is a professional. If they could be doing far more serious, but equally demanding works for a living, they probably do.

The question isn't "who has this much free time to make something like this?", but "what the hell were they procrastinating?"

This is a side blog for my side project.

What am I doing?

I am creating a necklace for each of the nine houses in Tamsyn Muir's The Locked Tomb.

Why?

Short answer, because I have ADHD

Long answer, because beading and the locked tomb both set off the good chemicals in my brain. Quietly beading in a corner while occasionally muttering about symbolism is a good way to be a roomate. Pacing back and forth while trying to express my love for camilla hect is Less Well Received.

Also I want to create fan art but 2d art is got my strong suit.

Also my adhd goblin brain likes pretty necklace.

What will I do with them when I am done?

IDK wear them. If Tamsyn Muir asked, I'd give her one.

Will I post instructions?

Sort of....

Some of the necklaces I will create instructions for.

Some of the patterns are really about a technique. If you understand, the technique, then recreating the necklace will be strait forward. I'd rather link to a good tutorial and give material and dimensions than try to write a bad tutorial.

Also, I have a small neck, so some of them may need to resized with math.

Will I go in order?

No.

Do I have rules?

Yes, so many.... my adhd Brain wants symbolism! It wants meaning out of chaos. It wants ART! So here are the rules, or at least the Internal logic

Every house gets a necklace. 1st though 9th.

Every necklace will include size 11 seads beads, though they can also include other beads

Each necklace will be made with house colors

Each necklace will have the number of unique beads related to house number. (Ex. 2nd house is made with 2 colors of red size 11 sead beads)

Findings are not counting against the unique beads count, but should reflect the house number if possible.

Only houses I think would attend a sexy party willing get metallic beads. But what constitutes shiny beads is left up to my discretion.

The construction of the necklace will be thematically appropriate. And something that I can imagine a member of the house wearing.

The value labor+materials will be thematically appropriate. So rich houses will be bigger and more complex than poorer houses. Except for the 9th house, will will include animal bone beads which are expensive.

Each necklace will have a gold "One flesh, One End" charm on the clasp.

Will I post updates?

Yes, though a lot of it will be bitch about the 3rd.

Ianthe’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Propaganda

Carmen Sevilla (La fierecilla domada/La mégère apprivoisée, La Venganza, King of Kings)— One of the few spanish actresses to really make it in Hollywood. She worked opposite Charlton Heston in the 1970s and reportedly slapped him but that is past the cut-off so you can look it up for yourselves. There's also rumors that Frank Sinatra had a bit of a crush on her and asked her out a couple of times but she rejected him. The woman was just messy as hell in general and an absolute icon. Bless.

Simone Simon (Cat People, La Bête Humaine, The Devil and Daniel Webster, The Curse of the Cat People)— If she turned in to a panther and ate me I would be fine with that

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Simone Simon:

Tumblr

nothing lasts, really.

CLASSIC HORROR HEROINES SIMONE SIMON as Irena Dubrovna CAT PEOPLE (1942) dir. Jacques Tourneur I like the dark. It's friendly.

so so so so cute

one of simone simon's best remembered movies is cat people, one of jacques tourneur's great b-horror movies that's secretly a sensitive and tender examination of otherness, seriously i cry every time i watch it a short excerpt from cat people

She’s maybe not super well known to a lot of people but holy hell is she a stunner. I literally have her Cat People poster on my wall - she is amazing in that film, playing this tragic character (please go watch Cat People it’s this amazing tragic story of a foreign woman being caught up in a toxic relationship with a man who doesn’t believe her, plus cats). She’s so beautiful!! Look at her!!

Another commercial I would produce as an advertising executive:

A husband and wife eat a bland dinner together in a dimly-lit kitchen. They don't speak or look at each other. The meal: a pathetic Salisbury steak.

Cut to their bedroom at night. The wife lays sleeping in the bed while in the background the husband is putting on her dress, pantyhose, pearl necklace, heels, makeup, and a wig. When he's done he quietly leaves the room. The wife opens her eyes as soon as she's sure he's gone.

Now we're in a seedy dive bar. A small crowd of mustachioed men wearing leather jackets, black boots, and sunglasses sip beers and puff cigarettes while the "show" unfolds. Camera pans down, then pans to the side. Between the black boots we see the husband on his hands and knees, greedily eating a Chipotle Chorizo Burrito Bowl with Cilantro Lime Rice from a plastic dog bowl on the floor. His makeup is ruined, face smeared with sour cream and hot sauce.

A man steps forward. The husband looks up, and his expression changes to that of a deer in the headlights. Cut to reveal that the "man" standing before the husband is none other than his wife, in elaborate drag as a Tom of Finland biker, false mustache and officer cap and all. She smiles warmly, and nods. The husband smiles too, and resumes his meal.

Chipotle: Own Your Fantasy

Ads for weight loss should be illegal. Hope this helps.

One of the crazy things about getting good at a craft, in my case beading, is the ability to look at something and understand how it was constructed.

I can look at a necklace and start breaking down the stitches.

And my mind will reconstruct the technique.

I imagine that this phenomenon happens to painters, sculptures, embroideries, writers, comics builders, taylors and smiths..

Buts it's kind of amazing to understand how art gets made