I Would Let Nyo America Step On Me Then Thank Her

Me: *sobbing* I cant do it anymore this is the third time today I've broken down please I cant do it anymore

My Mom: :) oh you'll get through it :) trust me I know what you're feeling :) just be a trooper and do some more work :) remember your grades are dropping :) maybe if you worked harder you wouldn't feel like this :))))

H e c c

Y e s

Anybody wanna see a poorly drawn mochi America?

Grocery shopping in college

@happys-hall-of-horrible-things Would you rather become real long or play ping pong?

Holy shit this was shredded as fuck ive only seen a callout of this caliber once or twice before

But how will we pay for it?!

To all the boomers and conservatives out there...this is for you. You sent your children to a war and resent they came back alive. You protested that fight when it was your neck on the line and now you threaten your grandchildren for protesting and using the right you had at their age. You got Homes, education, jobs you shouldn't be paid for because we are your betters and you guys suck at work. But you gave nothing.

So let me tell you how you'll pay for education, housing, and social programs. You're going to pay for it. You've never paid for anything. Only a minority among you took up Civil Rights and they're still fighting. The majority of you turned into privileged, entitled little brats. It's a bad look on an older face. Call me ageist. I don't care. You have to pay for something before you die and you squandered your youth having a good time.

We're coming. And we'll privatize the roads just like you wanted. Say goodbye to the grocery store. How are you going to pay $150 a month to drive to the store and manage to buy groceries? You can't. We're going to lower taxes just for you. Bye bye healthcare for the elderly. So sad. We're going to apply conservative ideals to conservatives for the first time in history and it's going to destroy you. Have fun. We hate you and your iron grip and sadism was a bit too successful. On the bright side though. Y'all only have a decade left, tops. It won't last forever. Oh but your example will. We cuddle our children and say, "see how much your grandparents hate everyone?" And they nod and add something appalling that boomers have done to them. They don't care either. They won't save you but they'll always remember that dark generation that proved we hadn't evolved enough. You'll be immortal as the biggest failures in history. I doubt our kids will even waste money on headstones. Good job. This is how you erase your own generation.

5 minutes of racist, homophobic, transphobic anti-feminist Ann Coulter getting dragged on Comedy Central’s Roast of Rob Lowe

Genie: I will grant you three wishes.

Me: hypothetically, would I be able to make it so the laws of gravity apply to everything except spiders? And if I were to do that, would all the spiders begin to ascend as they no longer have to abide by the rules that keep them down?

Genie:

This is the content we all need

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I'm sorry why the fuck is this so funny to me

New GIPHY!

Eventually I will make a comic for this AU... eventually

Resolution Progress

France: This year, I promise to be less of a slut.

Russia: That’s the same thing you said last year.

France: No, but I have progress! Last year, I can fit seven fireworks in my ass, but now, I can only fit four!

England, shaking: How the bloody fuck did you measure that?