Me After Any Tiny Inconvenience In My Life: "it's Because I'm F4t Isn't It"

how it feels being on here after/while you've eaten

Exactly.

You're not ⭐ing yourself your paying back a loan of c@lories you borrowed from your future self now it's simply time to pay it back 🎀

tomorrow I’ll be lighter, and that’s all that matters.

Tw: еd

Fuck having a flat stomach I want mine to concave :3

⚡️ collarbones ⚡️

black insp0 board

meal ideas:

~Wieiad~

9•26•24

Breakfast: Blueberry protein bar - 180c

Lunch: N/A

Dinner: 191g Plums - 88c

109g Kiwi with skin - 66c

140g Red Delicious apple with skin - 83c

87g Oranges - 41c

~Macros~

Carbs: 92g

Protein: 15g

Fat: 7g

Fiber: 17g

Sodium: 331mg

Calcium: 141mg

Total cals: 458

Water intake: 68 fl oz

Not too bad ig…. Just glad it’s not above 500 lol

~ Vent ~

Something I keep thinking about is that my childhood friend told me ~4 months ago that she couldn’t imagine me skinny after she saw how different the pantry was at my parents house. Which is valid for her life experience with me, and great motivation, but wtf…. I’m kind of scared to meet up with her again after I lose more weight. I don’t want her to say anything else about my body.. and she’s one of the luckiest people on earth because she grew up SKINNY, and literally just because of genetics. Her whole family is thin.. lucky mfs lol -but we used to hang out frequently and we’d both eat a lot growing up, and she still does. The last time I hung out with her, she got a honey bun from a convenience store after she ate a sausage the length of a paper plate, and a slice of chocolate cake like 30mins-1 hour before… It’s possible she has some mental stuff going on as well because of struggling to gain weight, but to make such a comment about another person isn’t very mindful. My brain is kind of taking it as “I can’t imagine you being a healthy weight”. - not that I wanna be lol - but sis basically said that without actually saying it.. She knows I grew up FAT AF, a damn boulder, so I’m just struggling to understand how she could say that. In most cases, a persons health is the most important thing, and what she said really makes me feels like she wants me to stay big subconsciously. But, she picked the word skinny and not healthy, so maybe I’m just thinking too much into it lol.. Either way though, it’s still motivating me to do better so ultimately it doesn’t matter, but it does make me anxious about my relationship with her; and the pantry is so different now too compared to what it was the last time she saw it. So actually, I am very scared of her coming over lol.. and I don’t like that I feel that way, I love her a lot. I’m just not as comfortable around her now :c

Th!nspø =^•^=

=°•~♡~•°= - =°•~♡~•°=

ok no longer suicidal i have weed