Tumblr Usernames Are So Funny, "the Ghost Of Jason Todd Started Following You" Okay Well Can He Stop

Tim: Here’s a list of suspects I’ve put together so far.

Bruce: Tim, your name’s on this list.

Tim: I don’t remember where I was last Friday night, Bruce. Therefore, I have no alibi. I’ve been tailing myself for the past three days.

literally. genuinely prefer the fanon over the canon because i feel like the writers so often put aside character development (especially for bruce) so that they can focus on plot/crime stuff/fighting and while i genuinely like the universe and such (can't say much for the plot because i only really know the robins's lore/stories) i just can't find the actual batman likable because of how emotionally stunted he feels like.

this is also why i personally really like the hc of him being a millionaire over being a billionaire honestly. saw someone else post about it and honestly it would make much more sense for the storyline if he were a millionaire because he literally can just. pay off all the lawmakers if he really wanted to with that amount of money but no, he just beats up criminals instead

i can and WILL blame all bruce's bad parenting on the writers idc u cant stop me he's a flawed person but BAD PERSON? BAD FATHER? no. the writers don't get him sometimes ok trust me bro

same is true for trans men! (unless you get top surgery)

trans women r literally so cool theu get tits AND a prostate?? i thought only markilpler could do that

why not

don’t go for realism in your art if it frustrates you, get weird, get blocky, get wiggly, just try and draw what makes you happy, not something that meets a standard

Dick Grayson:

*runs the titans*

*works for the league*

*has a day job*

*solo patrols bludhaven*

*solo patrols New York*

*on call 24/7 for regularly scheduled Gotham crisis(es)*

*training at least 40% of new gen heroes at any given moment*

*infiltrating the current annoying cult, corrupt gov, spy organization, company, mafia group, evil underground ancestral foundations of a city and random corrupt modeling industry*

*monitoring drug pedaling in 3 cities*

*emotionally regulating 80% of his family bc why would they do it themselves? Nah let’s just ruin relationships for fun -cough Bruce cough-*

* maintaining civilian cover*

*canonically does volunteer work*

I am beginning to think nightwing doesn’t have anger issues he’s just overstimulated bc wtf

Like Dick take a break what is this?

————

Dick currently working on infiltrating the mob, after 4 days of 6+ hour patrols bc bludhaven has no chill an Arkham breakout, a performance review at work that took too long, organizing a titans outer space mission, just got back from training Jon Kent: no one call me plz god no one call me I can’t do this I have so much work no one. Call me plz

*phone rings* -it’s tim

He could ignore it but last time he left Tim alone for a month the dumbass lost his spleen and decided a cowl was a fashion choice (equally bad in his opinion)

Dick picking up the phone with his non broken arm: yello

Tim: so I accidentally maybe got kidnapped and maybe also started a cult around the concept of Batman and I’m out of energy drinks. (All equally dire in tims opinion)

Dick popping 4 caffeine pills: shut up I’ll be there in 30 don’t DO ANYTHing.

—————

Jason: sooo I might be engaged to an alien princess

Dick about to pop a Xanax: tell me it’s Kori or at least in this galaxy

Jason: nope

Dick: …. Can it wait

Jason: she wants to eat me, their species is like a praying mantis knockoff but with space and mind control.

Dick: yeah okay give me an hour I’ll call raven

————

Damian: hello Richard

Dick: what did you do.

Damian: I have been kidnapped by my mother

Dick: again

Damian: I feel it would be redundant to say anything

Dick: …….. alright I’ll call the nearest flying hero be there in a bit… keep ur spine where it is Damian or I swear to god-

——————

Bruce: cult

Dick who just got done with an undercover mission: anddd?

Bruce: we need someone to infiltrate it

Dick: I swear to god I. will. hurt. you

Bruce: hnnnn

——-

Babs: I have… acquired a child

Dick who is fighting deathstroke : …okayyyy

Babs who is watching the fight: she’s a little bit … traumatized

Dick, dodging a katana: preaching to the choir

Babs: can you do your whole, human empathy and kindness tell me ur life story I have puppy dog eyes.

Dick: ….

Babs: you owe me

Dick: … one day I will delete all your numbers and disappear

Babs cheerfully: you know no matter where you go I can find you hunk wonder see you in 3 hours don’t die before then!

don't ask what he's gonna do with that scalpel

oh fuck this is a really good hill i gotta die on this