Rachael ray doesn’t consider cooking time into her “30 minute meals” and that’s absolute f***ing bullsh*it. she pulls out a crockpot of shredded barbecue chicken that was prepped and slow-cooked 4 hours ago and nonchalantly says, “now that that step is done…” no it isn’t? that’s NOT a 30 minute meal. that’s a 4 hour and 30 minute meal. you’re a liar, a phony, and a fake. Fuck You Rachael Ray
Uses their lamest possible pickup line and still manages to pull it off like a pro:
Aries, Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Attempts something cute, stumbles over their own words and tries to fade out into the background:
Cancer, Pisces, Virgo
Studies pickup lines like a fricking exam for three weeks and fucks it up at the final hurdle. Spends the next month simmering with rage:
Taurus, Scorpio, Capricorn
Escaped the womb knowing this shit by heart. The messiah is here:
LIBRA
I LOVE THIS but I’m so tired I can’t laugh as loudly as I would.
The Ice Cube Family Christmas Card
Here’s that thing that everyone on the Twitters & chatrooms & face boards have been asking for.
I’m watching Big Hero 6 for the first time and I think I’ve fallen in love with Tadashi.
SHREDDIN’