So I Have A Question For My Followers: Are There Any Conspiracy Theories You’re 100% Convinced Are

on joints and movies | frat au prongsfoot | 652 words

It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair.

It’s the only thing Sirius has been able to think all day. It isn’t fair, on violent repeat in his head, and it isn’t. Just last night, James had been on top of him— James, with his beautiful brown eyes and his soft honey skin and everything else that Sirius is addicted to— and now they’re back to being friends.

It isn’t fair, but it’s the only way it can be. Because for all the drunken nights and kisses and confessions, neither of them are gay. They aren’t. James runs through girls at a pace that is truly impossible to keep up with, and Sirius— Sirius has had sex with girls before, and it’s not unbearable. They seem to like it, at least, always wanting to spend the night and get coffee in the morning, and that’s more than can be said for James.

“Here,” James reaches over his shoulder, offering the joint to Sirius. He’s sat on the floor in front of the couch where Sirius is perched, watching Superbad for what must be the millionth time. One of the sororities had an event tonight that’s left the house mostly empty, and so it’s just the two of them in the living room.

Sirius takes the joint and puts it in his mouth to take a puff. He’s glad James is facing away from him. All day, he’s been putting forth a very concerted effort to not think about the pit in his stomach or the way his heart skips a beat every time James looks at him, but it’s futile, now. All he can think is it’s not fair, and all he can remember is the feeling of James’ fingers wrapped around him.

It might never happen again— maybe that’s what scares Sirius the most. Last night could’ve been the last time James ever touches him, and he’ll have to be at ease with that. This thing wasn’t ever going to last very long, anyway. James will pick one of his girls to start dating, and Sirius will find one that he doesn’t hate very much, and this entire thing will be a faded memory, a dalliance they might laugh over with their wives. 

Except, as his fingers brush James’ handing the joint back, he knows it won’t. Not for him. James is facing away from him, like he always is, and Sirius is melting into the couch. Sirius is being soaked up by the beer-stained fabric, and James doesn’t notice. Sirius is thirty years in the future still clutching on to the memory of James kissing his neck, and James is married with kids who don’t know that he experimented in college. 

By the time the credits roll, Sirius is doing his best to hold back tears. The weed wasn’t a good idea— it makes everything feel worse, every emotion feel amplified. It makes it all feel inescapable: that he can’t keep brushing off what he feels about James, that it means far more than what he’s been telling himself it does, and that none of this changes the fact that it means absolutely nothing to James.

They sit in silence until the screen fades to black, and even then it takes a minute for James to reach for the remote. Once the TV is turned off, James sets the remote back on the floor and turns to Sirius with those big, gorgeous eyes.

“Are you okay?”

Sirius’ heart stutters in his chest, because this is James. This is his best friend, his roommate, his soulmate. James, who isn’t a distant and apathetic love interest— he’s Sirius’ friend. And he’s right there, right in front of Sirius, and he knows that something is wrong.

“Can we talk about it later?”

They won’t, but James agrees. It’s enough, the little admission that there is something. It isn’t fair, but it’s enough.

being a gaylor in the swiftie community prepared me for being a prongsfoot shipper in the marauders fandom

he stared at you for forty lines, but you thought about me every day for fourteen years

you thought he was the traitor, but you would have died rather than betray me

you tried to use him to kill snape, but you came to my house when you had no where else to go

he married a girl 15 years his junior, but my wife wrote you a letter saying you needed to come by the house because i was going crazy cooped without you

he thought youd actually betrayed my family, but you lived the remainder of your life just to avenge us

he thought you were just like the rest of your family, but i made you my child’s godparent and protector of our secret

he died running from his child, you died protecting mine

wolfstar vs prongsfoot is funny bcz wolfstarr is like "was it casual when i stared at you for forty lines straight" and prongsfoot is like "was it casual when i escaped the solitary-confinement-torture-prison to protect your son who hated me, got him an expensive broomstick anonymously just to make him happy and snuck into hogwarts just to see him play even though it could've literally costed me my soul"

needed to add the canon height difference

so where's the kirianthe version of this

fem!prongsfoot is mascxmasc or butchfemme (james as the femme) and i stand by this

fem!sirius is adam sandler esque carelessly beautiful

fem!james is either hey mamas masc, thirst trap/fashion masc, or hyper femme with full makeup and heels; he needs to look super hot but its clear hes trying to hard

my marauders hot takes:

- fav romantic ships are prongsfoot, jily, jilypad, quillkiller, and marylene

- i dont think james would hate sirius after the prank

- remus is the last person to be a casanova (that was james, sirius, and mary)

- i looove the characterization of the marauders as the best friendship quad ever but we forget it was described in the books as “james + sirius… and their two side kicks” (obv they still became animagi for remus so he was very close to them, but sirius and james were always the main duo)

- i dont believe in “young peter was a different person,” he was always a coward that gravitated towards the most powerful person (in hogwarts that was james/sirius’ popularity, in the war that was voldemort)

- remus was not the smartest marauder (in their year the smartest students were sirius, james, and lily)

- ik it birthed the fandom, but i dont really like wolfstar that much

james is like: “my parents always gave me attention so im gonna start tweaking sooo bad and make it everyones problem if everybody doesnt start giving me all their attention” and lowkey is really hot and smart and athletic so he gets what he wants

sirius is like: “my parents raised me to believe that due to the family i was born into i deserve everybodys attention and am naturally better than them all, and lowkey its annoyed when people do give me attention cuz i dont gaf about them” but the non-chalance makes him more attractive, plus this world view never changes because he is actually hotter and smarter and more talented than everybody

remus is like: “the world taught me that i would never be loved becuase im a werewolf but then these two guys who are actually better than everybody adopted me and im just happy to be here” and lowkey just remains grappling onto the only people that befriend him (cough dumbledoor and tonks cough)

peter is like: “i dont have confidence in my own merits so ill stick onto the most powerful perosn in my vicinity and make myself so loyal and useful and entertaining to them” and in school thats the popular bullies J and S and their werewolf, but in the real world thats the bald racist guy with an army

james loooooves that remus and pete worship him and lowkey gets off on it cuz thats all he wants, and in turn he worships sirius cuz his non-chalant coolness is all he wants to be, but hes also super opionated and has a lot of pride which overshadows that

sirius thinks pete is smart and funny, thinks remus is smart and useful, and lowkey isnt a fan of them worshipping him, but puts up with it cuz he expects it. james has too much pride to show he worships sirius and on other merits sirius deems james an equal so hes lowkey in love with him and thats why theyre friends

remus likes that the three of them find his lyconthropy cool and useful for once; he feels special for it instead of rejected

pete likes that the three of them protect him and hype him up, cuz he lowkey needs that on all levels

there are two types of prongsfoot shippers. one is the Remus lupin and the other is the Severus Snape. no I will not elaborate.

agreed!!

“harry was born during a war, so he was an accident”

may i introduce: harry was born during a war because jily loved each other so hard and always wanted a big family (james cuz he wanted siblings growing up and wants to replicate his parents, and lily cuz she wants her kid to have the relationship she never could with petunia), but theres a chance the war will never end or one of them will die and their friends are dying AND THEY JUST WANT SOME HAPPINESS TO FIGHT FOR

they were married for a year before lily was pregnant, it was not a shotgun wedding. harry was planned, baby #2 on the way, planning for three.

u cannot convince me that if jily had lived they wouldn't have had more kids. you're saying james, an only child who found new brothers at school & lily, who missed her sister so much after their relationship fractured, WOULDN'T have given their son more siblings?

ofc not!!!! me personally i live for fics where harry has two or three siblings running underfoot and following him around like little ducklings when they finally get to hogwarts. cuties !!<3