What The Hell Brah

I really need a fucking break, or a gun

“idgaf” “i’m winning the idgaf war”

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GIVE A FUCK!! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CARE!! YOU DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND!! SOMETIMES WE ARE TENDER FOR THE WRONG PEOPLE BUT WE HAVE TO MOVE ON!! BE VULNERABLE AND MOVE ON!!

Inhale warmth

Exhale ecstasy

No one was harmed in the making of this moment

I love when people need me, not want, need. I know that sounds kind of co-dependent, but I don’t mean it like that. I love it when someone leans on me for support, or grabs my coat or backpack to pull me back.

NOT SO SOUND CLINGY THOUGH AH

I guess I just want to be wanted. I just want to feel important to anyone.

My birthday makes me quite sad and I wish it didn’t cuz I’m lowkey crashing my own party

My friends gift to me a glimmer of hope occasionally; and when they do, all I can think about is how badly I want to see and know the adult versions of them. I think about how nice it would be to have an extra room, or maybe a pullout couch, at the disposal of any friend looking for a warm bed and an ear to listen. I think about them coming to my house just to ask for a cigarette, and to talk about their troubles while we sit on the porch. I think about how I’ll attend (and cry at) their weddings, and I think about how I’ll be with them through messy breakups, and all the inbetweens. I think about how I’ll have their favorite snacks in my cupboard, and how I’ll make sure there’s always an extra toothbrush for them. I think about how I’ll have toys stored away for their potential kids when they visit, and I think about how I’ll get to watch all of us grow up.

I often times think the only thing stopping me from ending it is fear, but I think a little harder about the people I love, and suddenly it feels like my heart is trying to claw through my chest, and grasp onto any hope for the future.

I want to be there to love those around me until I can no longer leave my bed, and my last breaths are be spent cherishing their names.

noah jupe as otis lort in honey boy (2019) dir. alma har’el

Wish I could be committed to literally anything

fuckkkv💔