Sharing A Very Sage Bit Of Advice From The Simpsons' Own John Swartzwelder That I've Been Trying To Hamper

“This too shall pass” well can it pass a little faster jeez

meals i eat on a $50/week grocery budget

I am a PhD student living on a stipend of under $18,000 per academic year, and I have a grocery budget of $50 per week to feed myself and my dog. I typically buy groceries once a month, where I spend under $200 at Costco, and fill in the gaps with $50 or less at Fred Meyer (a PNW Kroger brand) or Walmart (the bane of my existence). The final prices average to $50 per week.

The first trick is to look for building blocks you can buy in bulk instead of thinking about recipes individually. Spices, canned goods, meat, produce. Costco and Sams Club are good, but take advantage of the bulk prices and lack of member fee at Smart & Final instead if there’s one in your area.

If you're buying spinach and tomatoes for pasta, think about adding other salad ingredients to finish off that spinach package. If you're buying a package of shredded pork for sliders, consider using the leftovers for street tacos.

I also try and utilize all my leftovers. If I only need a small portion of a red onion for a recipe, I'll use the rest to make pickled red onions and try to think of something that will use them in the next couple weeks. A lot of my dog safe produce waste—strawberry tops, cucumber ends, carrot skins—go to my dog as an easy reward. (Reminder that if it’s rotten and you wouldn’t eat it, you probably shouldn’t be feeding it to your dog, either.)

The second trick is to utilize your freezer. Freeze produce close to it's expiration date, find a recipe for it where the texture won't matter. Freeze meat until you're ready to use it to prevent it dying a sad, stinky death in the hidden depths of the meat drawer. Sometimes I'll cook an extra big batch of something with the intent of freezing half of some of the components to be used at a later time (the chicken in the pita pockets is the same as the chicken in the meal prep bowls, but I don't like having them in the same week). I also keep a few backup meals in the freezer just in case I get Big Sick and don't feel like cooking for a while.

The third trick is to reject brand loyalty. Your new lord and savior is "what's on sale" and "store brand". As someone who regularly had access to both the high price and budget options of the foods I like, there are plenty of types of food where there's no discernible difference in quality between price points.

The building blocks I keep in my house are:

Chicken breast.

If you don’t like handling raw meat (or don’t have the equipment to cook it) I highly recommend the Costco rotisserie chicken instead. It’s a large chicken and it’s under $7 for the whole thing (at least where I live in AK) and it’s already cooked! There’s plenty of meat on it and if you’re into DIY stuff you can use the carcass to make your own chicken broth.

Ground beef (I like 85:15)

Broths/stocks (i like to keep beef, chicken, and vegetable on hand)

Eggs

Rotel cans (there is more than one flavor and I find them convenient)

Canned pumpkin purée (I keep this on hand year round to give to my dog in the event of digestion issues, but it has plenty of other uses)

Tomato paste

Black beans (they're cheaper dried and bagged, but canned is fine if you dont have the time or energy for bean prep)

Chickpeas (they're cheaper dried and bagged, but canned is fine if you dont have the time or energy for bean prep)

Lentils (split lentils are more expensive but they cook way faster)

Onions

Carrots (these double as dog treats)

Garlic

Sweet potatoes (also can be dog treats) or russet potatoes when sweet potatoes aren’t in season

Parsley (I have it growing in my kitchen)

Basil (also growing in my kitchen)

Cilantro (additionally growing in my kitchen)

Green onions (growing in my kitchen)

Butter, margarine, olive oil

Flour

Baking soda and baking powder

Brown and white sugar

Noodles (whichever shape is on sale when I'm buying)

Top ramen packets (for the stove)

Sandwich bread

Bread crumbs (I make these using the heels of bread from my sandwich bread or leftover buns when the meat to bun ratio doesn't add up)

Single serving oatmeal packets

Rice (I buy the 10 lb bag from the grocery store which lasts me about a year...)

Oat milk (it's shelf stable to reduce food waste)

Coconut milk (also shelf stable)

Vanilla yogurt (big tub)

Greek yogurt (big tub)

Frozen fruit mix (these double as dog treats)

Most of the building blocks are purchased in bulk when I can. I will get a new package of whatever is running out when necessary. My entire spice cabinet is the store brand spices (almost, there've been a few fancy spice gifts recently). You can get nice herbs and spices from Walmart's Great Value brand. My food is no less delicious for it.

Breakfast:

Oatmeal. I get mine in the bulk 52 pack from costco and eat two packets at once. I would get the big canister instead, but I’m not very good at flavoring them when they come that way and it generally just makes me sad instead

Currently (sept 2024) working on big canister DIY oatmeal and overnight oats. Will report back when I manage something that isn't terrible :)

Store brand bagel with store brand cream cheese (Philadelphia is eggspensive)

Eggo waffles+peanut butter. I get the bulk 72(?) pack from costco, because they're leagues better than store brand toaster waffles and also significantly cheaper than buying freezer waffles of any kind in any smaller package. Make a little sandwich+enjoy.

Outside Breakfast: This is what I eat if I'm going to do Outside Work, like field sampling or ice climbing or hiking to the top of Mt. Healy

I Live In A Place Where Fruit Doesn't Grow Smoothie: utilizes yogurt, plant milk, frozen fruit mix. If I end up with extra I put it on a lick mat for my dog.

Breakfast tacos: utilizes egg, and leftover produce and leftover tortillas from taquito, quesadilla, or pulled pork taco recipes.

Home fries and egg: utilizes potato, onion, egg

Leftovers Egg Sandwich: utilizes egg, leftover meat (like lunchmeat or other thin sliced meat) and leftover produce or sauce, and leftover bread

Lunch:

Greek chicken meal prep boxes: utilizes chicken, greek yogurt, rice, onion, garlic

Chickpea and lentil roasted red pepper soup+grilled cheese: utilizes chickpeas and lentils, sandwich bread (vegetarian/vegan)

Black bean quesadilla: utilizes black beans, onion, cilantro (vegetarian)

Black bean taquitos: utilizes black beans, onion, garlic, cilantro, rice (vegan, requires a blender/food processor)

Chicken sandwich + roasted red pepper soup

Sausage pasta: utilizes noodles, onion, garlic

Pita pockets: utilizes chicken, yogurt, cilantro

Smashed chickpea avocado sandwich: utilizes chickpeas, cilantro, rotel (vegan!)

Dinner:

Chick(en)pea Curry: utilizes chicken, chickpeas, rotel, onions, garlic, cilantro, rice (omitting chicken makes it vegan)

Mac and cheese: utilizes noodles, breadcrumbs (vegetarian)

Mom's goulash: utilizes onion, garlic, ground beef, noodles,

White chicken chili: utilizes chicken broth, chicken, onion, garlic

Fire sick soup: utilizes chicken, carrots, garlic, onion, chicken broth (SPICY)

Magic sick soup: utilizes chicken, carrots, onion, garlic, veggie broth

Darn Good Chili: utilizes ground beef, tomato paste, black beans, onion

Sheet pan chicken fajitas: utilizes chicken, onion, garlic

Coconut ginger carrot soup+garlic bread: utilizes carrot (vegan)

Chicken tortilla soup: utilizes leftover chicken from sheet pan fajitas, onion, garlic, chicken broth

Moms meatloaf: utilizes ground beef, rotel, breadcrumbs, egg

Carnitas tacos: utilizes rice, black beans, onions, cilantro. I commit the crime of buying the preshredded pork from Costco, because I hate shredding meat by hand and don’t have a mixer to do it for me. I like to pair this with a mango peach habanero salsa. (SPICY)

Pumpkin pasta sauce: utilizes noodles, onion, garlic,

Snacks:

Vanilla yogurt + granola: both of these are store brand. Walmart makes surprisingly decent (and decently priced, at that) granola

Veggies + hummus: I eat most of my veggies raw like this. Costco sells bulk hummus but I don’t love how much extra packaging their produce comes with. If time, energy or prep space are a problem for you, you can buy precut veggies but let it be known that those no longer qualify as a budget item.

Tortilla chip + salsa/guacamole: costco sells all of these items in bulk at very cheap. One 3 pack of guac and a tub of salsa gets me through one whole bag of tortilla chips.

Ramen + egg: this is what I eat when it's too late for lunch but too early for dinner and I'm starving

Granola + chocolate chip: I guess this is just a deconstructed granola bar but it’s a 3:1 granola:chocolate ratio

Other stuff:

DIY spices

Fancy herb butter

Sweet potato dog treats

Non-Budget items

Coconut brownies (spruced up Ghirardelli box brownies, recipe stolen from a professor at my university)

Dads Goulash

Lomo Saltado

I don't currently feel like doing the math for these, but I do actually only spend roughly $50 a week on groceries. (Currently the underlined ones are the ones I have a full linked recipe posted for, which I work on in my spare time).

Additional notes: I don’t really do the whole calorie counting thing, but I do try to eat at least one serving of a food from each major food group a day as a way to naturally enforce variety and balance out my diet.

Listen. If you think writing fanfiction is cringe please know that I am currently pursuing my Masters degree in Creative Writing for fiction and I want you to know that most of the people in my graduate program either read fanfiction, write fanfiction, or do both. I promise you: cringe is dead. Write whatever you want. Do whatever makes you happy.

STOP BEING SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT YOUR CREATIONS STOP SECOND GUESSING WHAT YOU REALLY WANNA DO STOP DEBATING IT'S WORTH. LET YOUR ART SERVE YOU INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND

i hate how you get desensitized to the cool stuff in your WIP if you've been writing it for a long time so when you read back over it you're like "this isn't as cool as i thought :(" but it still is! you just read it too many times

The Shape of Ideas

Study tips that i learned through failures!

1. It's so important that you do a first read thru of the text as fast as possible. Stick to annotations and brief summarizing notes/outlines. Our brain is constantly making connections even when we're sleeping, so even if you don't understand something at first, getting stuck on it is a waste of your present time AND sleep time. Some things will click while you're doing chores because your brain is still working in the background! But it can't happen if there is nothing to click. Try to expose yourself to all the material as early as possible. [If you're studying math, skip the derivations and proofs in the first read thru and just do the example problems and focus on the underlying assumptions. Depending on the class/exam objective, you might not even be tested on the proof]

2. The breaks. Even if you know you can study 4 hours straight - don't. I used to do this especially when I was anxious, but it just burned me out. Even as quickly as the next day! If you're doing your first pom of the day and you feel really fresh to the point that you feel like you can skip that first break - dont.. it will pile up!

3. The water and the sugar!! This might sound really obvious, but studying burns up so many resources. On days I don't study, I might be okay with 60-70 oz of water, but on days I do, it's normal for me to hit 100 oz. I also ate way more food in general and ate more sugar too, and I think that's pretty normal.

4. Flashcards and practice problems > annotations > having nice notes. It kills me to say it, but the last exam I took (and passed!), I relied on my very disorganized notes/screenshots on my tablet. I didn't have time to organize and transfer them nicely onto paper in order even though every perfectionist cell in my body wanted to soo badly. Making your own textbook can be helpful but I seriously just didn't have the time. Focus on what will actually get you that pass score!

5. Find the note-taking app you like BEFORE your study period or exam season and practice using it! The last thing you want is to fight the syncing mechanism as you're trying to study. I like to use Flexil because of the split screen feature, the linked screenshots, and the cross-platform sync. If you are studying math, either learn latex over the summer/off period so you can use it in Obsidian/Anki or commit to manually written flashcards and notes the whole way. Dont try to switch halfway through because that will be a waste of your time. I personally think writing out the math is faster than typing it out in Latex, but it's your poison (they're both poison). (And if you study any type of math, I 10000% recommend using a tablet)

6. Unless you are studying for fun, orient everything around the class/exam objectives. Unfortunately, you're not gonna have time to be curious. If you don't think something will be tested, quickly cut it out and move on.

7. Figure out what your exam taking weaknesses are. Out of every 10 missed problems, I realized I'd miss a question solely because i input the wrong number into the calculator. Now I say the numbers in my head as I put it in, do it at a relatively slow pace, and break up large formulas into itsy pieces and make sure the output is close to what I expect it to be. I write out all the steps on paper sometimes to make sure every calculation is as expected. You only get once chance during the real thing, so it's important to come up with a policy to reduce risk and to stick to it every time.

To all the people who constantly zoned out and daydreamed as a kid and probably told off for it, who learnt how to cry silently before the age of ten and maybe stopped crying entirely, who used books as an escape method and would constantly daydream about running off to a fantasy world, who is most likely now a burnt-out neurodivergent who didn't get diagnosed early so they self-diagnosed instead, and who now wants to groan at the thought of having to wake up another day,

how's the childhood trauma, deep-rooted love hate relationship with your parents, lack of self-esteem and sense of self, and raging queerness doing? you good?

something pretty to remind you that there is still pretty out there

I believe in free education, one that’s available to everyone; no matter their race, gender, age, wealth, etc… This masterpost was created for every knowledge hungry individual out there. I hope it will serve you well. Enjoy!

FREE ONLINE COURSES (here are listed websites that provide huge variety of courses)

Alison 

Coursera

FutureLearn

open2study

Khan Academy

edX

P2P U

Academic Earth

iversity

Stanford Online

MIT Open Courseware

Open Yale Courses

BBC Learning

OpenLearn

Carnegie Mellon University OLI

University of Reddit

Saylor

IDEAS, INSPIRATION & NEWS (websites which deliver educational content meant to entertain you and stimulate your brain)

TED

FORA

Big Think 

99u

BBC Future

Seriously Amazing

How Stuff Works

Discovery News

National Geographic

Science News

Popular Science

IFLScience

YouTube Edu

NewScientist

DIY & HOW-TO’S (Don’t know how to do that? Want to learn how to do it yourself? Here are some great websites.)

wikiHow

Wonder How To

instructables

eHow

Howcast

MAKE

Do it yourself

FREE TEXTBOOKS & E-BOOKS

OpenStax CNX

Open Textbooks

Bookboon

Textbook Revolution

E-books Directory

FullBooks

Books Should Be Free

Classic Reader

Read Print

Project Gutenberg

AudioBooks For Free

LibriVox

Poem Hunter

Bartleby

MIT Classics

Many Books

Open Textbooks BCcampus

Open Textbook Library

WikiBooks

SCIENTIFIC ARTICLES & JOURNALS

Directory of Open Access Journals

Scitable

PLOS

Wiley Open Access

Springer Open

Oxford Open

Elsevier Open Access

ArXiv

Open Access Library

LEARN:

1. LANGUAGES

Duolingo

BBC Languages

Learn A Language

101languages

Memrise

Livemocha

Foreign Services Institute

My Languages

Surface Languages

Lingualia

OmniGlot

OpenCulture’s Language links

2. COMPUTER SCIENCE & PROGRAMMING

Codecademy

Programmr

GA Dash

CodeHS

w3schools

Code Avengers

Codelearn

The Code Player

Code School

Code.org

Programming Motherf*?$%#

Bento

Bucky’s room

WiBit

Learn Code the Hard Way

Mozilla Developer Network

Microsoft Virtual Academy

3. YOGA & MEDITATION

Learning Yoga

Learn Meditation

Yome

Free Meditation

Online Meditation

Do Yoga With Me

Yoga Learning Center

4. PHOTOGRAPHY & FILMMAKING

Exposure Guide

The Bastards Book of Photography

Cambridge in Color

Best Photo Lessons

Photography Course

Production Now

nyvs

Learn About Film

Film School Online

5. DRAWING & PAINTING

Enliighten

Ctrl+Paint

ArtGraphica

Google Cultural Institute

Drawspace

DragoArt

WetCanvas

6. INSTRUMENTS & MUSIC THEORY

Music Theory

Teoria

Music Theory Videos

Furmanczyk Academy of Music

Dave Conservatoire

Petrucci Music Library

Justin Guitar

Guitar Lessons

Piano Lessons

Zebra Keys

Play Bass Now

7. OTHER UNCATEGORIZED SKILLS

Investopedia

The Chess Website

Chesscademy

Chess.com

Spreeder

ReadSpeeder

First Aid for Free

First Aid Web

NHS Choices

Wolfram Demonstrations Project

Please feel free to add more learning focused websites. 

*There are a lot more learning websites out there, but I picked the ones that are, as far as I’m aware, completely free and in my opinion the best/ most useful.