So, Let Me Guess– You Just Started A New Book, Right? And You’re Stumped. You Have No Idea How Much

So, Let Me Guess– You Just Started A New Book, Right? And You’re Stumped. You Have No Idea How Much
So, Let Me Guess– You Just Started A New Book, Right? And You’re Stumped. You Have No Idea How Much
So, Let Me Guess– You Just Started A New Book, Right? And You’re Stumped. You Have No Idea How Much

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

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More Posts from Corphneux707 and Others

11 months ago

Cowboy || Boothill x G/N Child! Reader (PLATONIC) - Honkai Star Rail

Cowboy || Boothill X G/N Child! Reader (PLATONIC) - Honkai Star Rail

After he had lost his precious daughter during the IPC attack on his planet, it was no surprise Boothill would be oddly overprotective over his dear ones. Especially over you.

You were a child much like Boothill’s daughter, but you being only a tad bit older since she was only a few months old at the time. Once you had came in, Boothill made a silent vow to himself that he would protect you like you were his child, not even letting you out of his sight for a second. He just didn’t want to lose you like he lost his little girl is all!

Which was quite ironic as he had first met you through aiming his revolver at your head, thinking you were someone here to collect his bounty, only to see it was literally just a kid. He still remembers the way you almost passed out. Poor you.

So no wonder Boothill almost lost it when he noticed your tiny footsteps weren’t heard behind him anymore, what’s left of his heart instantly dropping.

Panic struck as he looked around frantically, cursing (or at least trying to) himself out for not keeping a closer eye on you while a million thoughts of what could possibly happen without his supervision on you raced through his head.

What if you had gotten seriously hurt?

What if something—or someone—took you?

What if you were stuck somewhere, stranded with a bunch of people you didn’t even know?

It was odd to see the infamous Galaxy Ranger; Boothill getting all worked up and worried over some missing kid. Why’d he care so much anyway? Was it something about you? Did he just oddly grow attached?

Or did he simply view you as someone he once cradled before it was snatched away from him abruptly?

“Mr. Boothill!”

Instantly, Boothill stopped in his tracks, pausing his search for you and spinning his head towards the familiar small voice. There you were; all safe and sound, but with tears falling down your chubby cheeks as you raced over to him.

Boothill dropped to his metallic-like knees and caught you in his arms tightly, feeling your tight grip around his shoulders as you hugged him, burying your face into his shoulder.

“I told ya not to wander off, didn’t I? To stay close to me? You could’ve gotten hurt all alone like that, you lil’ brat…” Boothill would lightly scold you, standing up while lifting you in his arms, holding you close and pinching your cheek in a scolding matter.

His grip around you was tight as if he were worried that if he let go—you’d vanish without a trace.

A hiccup left you in response, struggling to put your words together to which Boothill began to rub the small of your back as a way to calm you down, “I-I didn’t mean to…! I-I just really wanted that plushie—hiccup—over there…!” Boothill watched as your shaky finger tried pointing in the direction of the toy stand, pointing in the wrong direction in the process. But he still knew what you were referring to.

You were clearly referring to that cowboy plushie you spotted while you were walking with Boothill earlier, the one that you couldn’t avert your gaze from which Boothill also called “just a mini, knock-off” version of him. It’s quite obvious that you only wanted it because it reminded you of Boothill.

“But-but when I looked back to you, you weren’t there anymore…!”

You broke out in another fit of sobs, hugging his neck tighter, your cheeks all stained with your tears, and your nose stuffy. Your head was even beginning to throb from how much you were crying.

“You mean that little cowboy you kept lookin’ at? You got your own real-life cowboy though, don’t you?”

“Nuh-uh! I want the plushie, so I can have two of you!”

At your silly words, Boothill had to bite his lip from letting out a snicker, knowing you’d probably get even more upset, and instead decided to indulge you, “Fine, if you want it so bad that you nearly made me pop a screw, I’ll buy you it.” Boothill reassures, wiping that small tear threatening to slip down your cheek away with his cold hand. You can only sniffle and quietly nod in a meek way, rubbing your eyes.

Before Boothill can move however, you suddenly cupped his cheeks with your small hands which was pretty much the only part of his body he can feel you touch, causing him to pause and look down at you. You knocked your head against his and mumbled, “You’re my real papa, Boothill…My only papa…” You ask with a small sniffle, patting his cheeks.

Boothill stood there, stunned for a brief second before he quickly regained his composure, and sent you a toothy smile that showed off his razor sharp teeth, “What a sweet lil’ thing you are…You certainly got a way with words, don’t you?” He ruffled your hair and placed his hat directly on your head to which it fell right over your eyes, causing you to quickly try and adjust it with a small yelp as Boothill made his way over to the stand you were whining about.

This time, he was sure he wasn’t going to let you out of his sight—no matter how much you whine for him to let you run around. He already lost one kid of his, he can’t lose another one.

clara and svarog 2.0 fr

3 months ago

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

image
11 months ago

I have literally lost faith in humanity.

I Have Literally Lost Faith In Humanity.
I Have Literally Lost Faith In Humanity.

a family bids farewell to their babygirl minutes ago, on the first day of Eid. Palestinians can't even celebrate without occupation bombardment.

1 year ago

Friendly reminders to cis fanfic writers that afab≠woman

Afab means assigned female at birth so this includes/can include cis women, trans men, transmasc people, nonbinary people, and intersex people.

If you’re making a fic where the reader is a woman, uses she/her, wears feminine clothing, etc. tag it as fem reader instead.

I’ve been smacked in the face as a trans man by reading fics tagged afab thinking it will be gender neutral, but the reader is actually a woman and I’m disappointed because I was ready for a fic I thought would apply to me.

Have fun writing and make sure you’re tagging your fics properly, ty <3

1 year ago

This is Rafah, The "safe" zone, where 1.5 million Palestinian fled to. You have to understand, what bombing Rafah means.

Please don't look away, while everybody is busy watching the super bowl, Israel commits one of its most deadly and openly genocidal attacks on Rafah. Please don't look away.

11 months ago
She Does Not Want To Die Burned In The Field, Please Help Us By Donating At The Link Gfm💔🥺🙏

She does not want to die burned in the field, please help us by donating at the link gfm💔🥺🙏

Donate to Help a family from Gaza, organized by Yaser Matar
gofundme.com
Hello, I am Ibtisam Al-Habil. My suffering began in 2014 when my husband was martyred, and I was … Yaser Matar needs your support for Help
5 months ago

sometimes i think about the golden record and i want to cry

1 year ago
More Remington Tim Lol

More Remington Tim lol

I can’t get it out of my head… tim would . He would….

He would be a menace in stage and I want his family (except Jason and Steph) to be horrified!!! 🤣

1 year ago

cat parents | dr. ratio & aventurine

!! polyamory !!

caritas, poker, and snuggle.

anyone could tell who named what cat, and which cat cake was who's favorite.

.

caritas was veritas' favorite, the name being an old language word meaning ' love ' although he wouldn't really admit to it. he'd told you that the cat's original name - or rather, it's classification, was lambda's friend, with blue skin and black and white filling. but the cat cake had a little gold flower on the side of it's head, too, which reminded him of himself.

caritas loves to chat with the other cat cakes. its the kind of cat that makes friends with other really quickly, so it's always chatting with poker and snuggle about something throughout the day. their conversations can range from anything about how warm the bed is to the best spot in the living room to see the three of their owners dancing together in the kitchen with music while you were trying to make dinner.

ratio absolutely loved to note down their conversations whenever present. it surprised him that such a creature was so articulate, even able to properly express its desires. he'd concluded that the cat cakes had the intelligence of a young toddler with a rudimentary but understandable grasp on language. you and aventurine liked to tease him sometimes for treating the cat cakes as children sometimes, trying to teach them as a parent would, although this was something that ratio would deny wholeheartedly.

" they are an interesting new species. they are ruan mei's creations, and yet she doesn't seem to understand their full potential. i believe it's imperative that we study them and possibly teach them things they otherwise wouldn't know without our interventions, " ratio reasoned, while he was holding the little cat cake, cradling it like it was something precious to him.

.

poker was aventurine's, the name coming from one of his favorite card games to play, even though he rationalized it by saying that the cat was particularly swatty and liked to cause trouble by batting at things off of the edge of tables. " it likes to poke things until it drops off of the table, so the name poker makes sense, doesn't it ? " yeah, okay aventurine, whatever you say.

poker loved to meow in the dead of night and startle everyone out of sleep in the most inopportune times. ratio has a lecture early in the morning for the intelligentsia guild ? poker is making it's boredom everyone's problem. aventurine has a meeting with the other stonehearts ? oh boy, poker is right there sitting on his face meowing incessantly. if you've got something important to do, well, sorry to say you won't be getting very much sleep that night no matter how early you go to bed. it was bratty, sure, but it was ultimately just an average grey cat cake with nothing special about it, and seemed to have an overwhelming fear of being left alone.

no matter how annoying the cat cake was being that particular night, there was only one way to stop it from meowing. of course, ratio tried to reprimand it and teach it other ways to relieve its boredom at night, but nothing proved effective. you would just try to get it to calm down by playing with it for a little while, but that really only worked until you left it alone, and then it went right back to meowing. aventurine, however, had the magic touch. he would grab the cat cake and bring it into bed, and he would just.. talk to it. in a quiet voice, just chatting about whatever popped up into his head. he'd talk for an hour or more. sometimes it was about sigonia, sometimes it was about his job as a stoneheart. sometimes it was just different gambles and how he ended up winning them.

" so, of course, i had to prove that i was much more than he gave me credit for, " aventurine had been yapping for about an hour now, when he looked down at the cat cake in his arms and realized that it was sound asleep, purring against his chest. " ah, looks like i've done it again. you're welcome, you two. "

" thank you, 'churine, " you mumbled, half asleep as you leaned over to him and pressed a kiss on his cheek, your head falling back down to rest on his shoulder, already falling back asleep. ratio didn't say anything, and when aventurine looked over at him, he couldn't help but smile. he'd put ratio asleep while just chatting, too.

.

snuggle was your trash cake cat, and there was really no deeper meaning behind the name. it was a snuggly cat, and loved attention. loved anyone and everyone who was willing to give it attention. sometimes you would wake up with it resting on your chest, sometimes you would see ratio lazily carrying snuggle around, and other times aventurine was playing with it making it chase a feather around. snuggle was the attention whore of the trio.

snuggle loved to follow you wherever you walked, especially to the bathroom. whether you were getting ready for the day or just trying to spend a few minutes doing human business, you had a pair of eyes watching over your ever move, making sure that you were never far from its sight, almost like it was protective over you. you couldn't help but compare it to your two partners, lord knows how often they were checking up on you in their own ways. ratio wasn't afraid of shooting you a text whenever he had a free moment while you were away to make sure you were okay, and aventurine was constantly on the phone with you through his headpiece.

" snuggle, i'm just going to the bathroom ! it's okay, really- " you gently protested, earning a small mew from the cat cake as it followed behind you into the bathroom, sitting patiently at the doorway, waiting for you to get finished with your business.

" hey, darling, i'm home from work ~ guess who i dragged back home with me after his lecture. " aventurine called out for you almost immediately, followed by the quieter voice of ratio announcing his presence as well.

you rolled your eyes at your partners immediately calling for you, your heart swelling with love for them, washing your hands as you walked out of the bathroom, snuggle hot on your tracks. " welcome back, guys. all of the cat cakes have been taken care of, and i started dinner. "

" thank you, i'm sure dinner will be pleasant as always, " veritas hummed, his briefcase still in his hand as he leaned down to kiss you on your lips.

" what would we do without you ? " aventurine weaseled his way in between you two, mostly because he also wanted to get his after work love from you.

.

a chatty cat cake with more intelligence that it originally seemed, a cat cake that needed to be calmed down when everyone left it alone with its thoughts, and a protective cat cake that enjoyed attention and making sure that those around it was okay.

maybe these were the perfect cat cakes for you three.

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corphneux707 - Corph
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🏳️‍⚧️ He/Him 19

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