Star Wars Episode IX, Or How Poe Dameron Single-handedly  Ended Ship Wars Forever

Star Wars Episode IX, or How Poe Dameron Single-handedly  Ended Ship Wars Forever

Poe: Finn, I’m so glad you’re alive! I have to tell you something. I’m in love with you.

Finn: P-Poe, that’s… I’m flattered, but…

Poe: Oh, shit, I misread–I thought you liked me, I’m sorry…

Finn: No, I mean yes, I mean–I do like you! It’s just, you know Rose, right? Well, she said she loves me too. It was kind of sudden, but we’ve really connected, and we have a lot of fun together and…

Poe: Hey buddy, it’s no problem.

Finn: Really?

Poe: Sure! You can date Rose too.

Finn: …Too?

Poe: Yeah! I’m sure Rose won’t mind. Hey, Rose?

Rose: What?

Poe: If Finn and I were a thing you’d be cool with that, right?

Rose: Yes! Oh my God you guys would be so cute!

Poe: *kisses Finn*

Finn: Wow.

Poe: Are you happy?

Finn: Yeah! Very much. I mean, there’s only one thing…

Poe: What?

Finn: Well… I kinda have this thing for Rey too… I mean, she’s my best friend and we’ve been through so much together, I can’t help but wonder…

Poe: That’s brilliant. Have you told her how you feel?

Finn: Not yet.

Rose: You should ask her out!

Finn: Well I would, but ever since Kylo Ren joined the Resistance she’s been spending all her free time with him.

Poe: Aw man, I’m sorry. Are you jealous?

Finn: Not really… I mean, I get what he’s going through. Leaving the First Order is hard, I’m glad he has Rey to help him cope. He always seemed so lonely and sad and brooding…

Poe: *smirks* I get it. You want him too.

Finn: W-WHAT, no I don’t, I mean, he’s… the things he’s done… just because I’m sympathetic doesn’t mean I…

Poe: Hey, no judgement. He’s hot.

Rose: Yeah, there’s a reason why they call him Ben Swolo. My friend Matt said he has an eight pack.

Finn: I don’t see what this has to do with anyth…

Rose: *whispers* Rey confirmed it.

Poe: Listen, I have an idea. Why don’t we get dinner together one of these days? All five of us. You know, to get to know one another. *waggles eyebrows*

Finn: Uh, I… okay. I’ll ask Rey and Kylo when I see them. *looks around* Where are they anyway?

Ben/Rey: Hi! Sorry we haven’t been around. We were out on a super secret mission. But guess what? We did it! We captured General Hux!

Finn: WHAT.

Rose: That’s awesome, how did you do it?

Rey: We used Ben as bait.

Poe: *rubs hands* So now we have General Hux, too? INTERESTING.