BROOOOOOO

“You forget”

Okay but consider, aliens thinking humans are only surviving on our death world because of our machines since we don’t really have any natural advantages? Eg we don’t have tusks, fur, or anything else that aliens might think one needs so they make fun of humans. but that one alien who has gotten stranded on death worlds or even on some places of earth, and know we don’t technically need advantages or machines… (this is just me explaining things needlessly probably over explaining. its completely self indulgent bc i find humans funky and like explaining things :D)) The bar is loud, different species mingling, laughing, trading stories. In the back of the loud, hot as hell bar is a large group of Pilgrophams, huge, thick skinned species with bald heads and tusks, laughing, sloshing yalagran in their cups (also known as beer across many species) A few other species are there, a Swelvie, lean and muscular, with long talons and sharp carnivores teeth, and a long demon arrow tail. 3 or 4 Grublirgs, squat things with scales and powerful jaws, hands, and even harder fists, small spikes all across their back. “See thats where your wron’ Nakatachie, the humans could never survive without their precious little machines. photon blasters and what was it… bombs?” The Pilgropham laughs, sounding guttural. The group around him laughs as well, but not one lone being, squashed in the corner. A Frilgrettin, one of the smaller extraterrestrials, but, they have claws and poisons that could kill most species instantly. “They are deathworlders Potoki, don’t be fooled by their soft flesh” the Frilgrettin looks up at Potoki, the snide Pilgropham it seems, face serious. “Aren’t we all little Frilly? Where are their tusks? Their scale or fur or talons, hell, where are their poison tails?” The ogre like being says, thinking he made a point. The frilgrettin, called Brouve, chuckles. “Humans, do not need those things to survive.” “And how would you know?” Someone chimes in from the crowd of listeners. Brouve chuckles again. “I got stranded on XT-fl-1, 9th galaxy, with a pair. I would know” Some of the species around Brouve hoot, but most scoff. “Impossible. A human of all species would not be able to survive an 1 classified planet, much less one in the ninth galaxy.” The one named Potoki says, not buying it. Brouve raises an eyebrow at him, lifting his tail to reveal several poison glands missing. Further up his body, is covered in burn and cold scars from the 1-class planet. “Then I must be a ghost because I sure as void would be dead without those humans” More scoffs and outright laughs. Potoki, who seems to be some sort of leader of the group, being the biggest, goes to speak again but Brouve raises one of his appendages. “Now, you, are going to voided listen, because I’m about to tell you some shit that apparently, is not only common knowledge, but easily practised and conditioned on the humans Planet” The beings around him scoff, but its clear Brouve have their attention. Potoki crosses their arms. Brouve stretches the silence, thinking back to the 4 cyclings, or weeks as the human had said they spent on that hell of a planet. “first off, you must know humans have… other senses. Not only the semi standard of sight, hearing, touch, tasting and smelling.” “Humans, have several more obscure senses from what I could tell.” “She called it, her danger sense, watching sense, weather sense, and… common sense. We will get back to the rest later but first…” “A human’s danger sense, is the ability to sense danger, to an extent. For example, The human knew of predators near by simply by something she said was a ‘gut feeling’, which apparently humans fall back onto this feeling quite a lot, using it for most of their non-physical senses” Brouve took a swig of his beer, relishing in the way the large group had simply gone quiet to listen to him. “There were apex predator, ones even my venom could not take down- mind you, I’m not able to take humans down with it either. Their ‘immune system’ stops me from causing them any biological harm that way- and the human would simply know when it wasn’t safe. Jade would get up in the middle of the night, rushing us away for no identifyable reason, Mark- that was the other one’s name by the way- agreed, even if all she had done was mutter a few words in their native language, claiming something was coming when nothing had even changed. Neither were never wrong however, not when hideous, blackened, dangers creatures would stroll through our camp the other human had set up in the span of a day, maybe two.” Brouve took another swig of his drink jaw clenching. “They saved my life you know, mid attack. Humans are fast. Very fast. They simply outran the creatures and dangers after us” Brouve blinks the flashes of danger from their eyes, trying not to get sucked into the dark memories.  After a minute or so, before they lost the people’s interest, they started speaking again. “And a watchers sense, as mark called it. It’s kinda like the danger sense, just slightly varying.” “Humans can detect when something is watching them, from afar, or close by, hidden or not. Apparently,  yet again, they can ‘feel your eyes on them’ and even sometimes identify semi exactly where the stare was coming from.” Potoki scoffed, but they were about the only one, and it sounded forced. Like they believed Brouve but didn’t want it to seem that way. Acidic venom stung Brouve’s eyes, the flashes coming back more intensely, fear boiling his cold blood, and her wipes away the tears, determined no tto cry in front of everyone here in a packed bar “And- and weather sense.” “Their bodies physically react to changes in atmosphere, alerting them of weather changes and if it could potentially be dangerous” “A squeezing in their knee, sudden and certain sensations or pains, anything, sometimes changing depending on humans” Wide eyes filled with awe and admiration filled everyone’s faces, even Potoki seemed in amazement now. Although quickly burying it with a facade of skepticism. “Eh, you seem to know a lot, sure you didn’t just pick that up as some folklore, maybe a little white lying here and there?” The ogre jabbed. “I was on planet  XT-fl-1 for 4 cycles, with virtually nothing to do other than survive. We traded stories and they answered my questions, and jsut because your planet was mostly domesticated and you probably grew up in a nice 9th-class planet, doesn’t mean you can take away from humans. if you don’t believe me you can void off” Brouve stood up, walking away, some following, some staying as Potoki went green in the face but tried to laugh it off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alr what do you guys think :D guve me suggestions ideas and hc’s to write about as well plsss-

Alien crewmate: Everyone thinks you guys are so cute, but they forget you're venomous. Humans are something else.

Human: Fun fact we aren't technically venomous, we just have so much bacteria in our mouths that most human bites get infected.

Alien crewmate, horrified: I preferred when I thought you were venomous.

a reminder for the LGBTQIA+ community: a needlessly long post of things i’d like to say 

i’ve noticed a lot of hostility in the LGBTQIA+ community recently, both online and outside, and want to talk about some things.

You are NOT entitled to know anyone’s sexuality, or force anyone to come out to make their queerness “valid”. They are valid regardless.

You can be gay and transphobic, pan and acephobic, or non-binary and biphobic, or anything! Don’t use “i can’t be ___phobic, i’m LGBTQIA+” as an excuse to shit on other members of the community.

Intersex people exist. Don’t erase the intersex community- they are here and they are real. 

Don’t insist someone is/is not LGBTQIA+ because of how they act/look/dress/etc. You are not in charge of their identity and you certainly are not entitled to it.

Don’t press people for stories. If you’re only going to talk to a gay/trans/bi/non binary/ pan/ etc. person to only talk about their queerness for publicity or “confirmation they’re queer”, that’s not support. We’re don’t have to validate ourselves to you.

PoC members of our community are in more danger/are more targeted towards hate than our white counterparts. “but we both endure homophobia-“ no. Sure, you both do, but they have to endure racism and racist- founded homophobia on top of that. Let go of your white fragility and listen.

No one in the LGBTQIA+ community faces the exact same problems. Gay people don’t face the same issues as trans people. Bi people don’t face the same issues as ace people. If you try to invalidate someone by saying “they don’t face the same things i do”, well, congrats. You’ve now excluded everyone but yourself. 

I know there are some seriously religious homophobes out there and a lot of trauma can come from religious places but PLEASE do not bash religion as a whole or anyone who is religious just due to it- the last thing we need to be doing is creating a barrier for those of us who belong to both a religious community and our pride one. They belong here too.

Our pride community was built to be a place of support and inclusivity, and it is an amazing thing!! But it has flaws like everything does. We have toxic traits we need to work on, and we need to accept those traits and do our best to fix them. 

some things as a ✨positive reminder✨ for anyone who needs it:

You do not have to label yourself. Anyone who says you do is probably insecure of their own identity. Your identity is valid, label-defined or not.

You don’t have to look or act a certain way to be a part of our community. Stereotypes can help us find each other but can also be harmful for those who don’t fall into them.

Queer identities are supposed to make you feel comfortable and happy. If they don’t, that’s okay. You don’t have to be any specific anything. 

You do not have to come out. You can be out to a small group of people, everyone on the internet, or just your closest friend. You could just be out to yourself if that’s what you’re happy with. 

Respect gender and sexuality across cultures and across generations!! Not everyone and everywhere uses the same terms or words things the same way. Don’t make fun of older folks for not using the term “queer” when it was used derogatively their time. Don’t insist that indigenous gender identities aren’t real, because they absolutely are. You don’t have to understand it- but at least respect it. 

You can change. If you used to identify with something that no longer feels right for you, that’s okay. You’re just as valid as you were before. 

You are not “sensitive” or “too serious” for calling out legitimate hate disguised as a joke. Great job for doing it, that takes guts. 

You don’t owe the world your life story. Even though gay representation is needed in this day and age, you shouldn’t be hounded to share all your experiences. You can just say “that’s that” and that’s enough.

Internalized homo/bi/pan/transphobia is a thing and it is hard to work on. Anyone struggling with accepting themselves, you got this. You are welcome here too. 

You can be religious and part of the LGBTQIA+ community. You can belong here. You are welcome. You and your beliefs are valid. 

Your sexuality is valid. Your gender is valid. Your emotions are valid. Your choices are valid. You are valid.

Realizing who you are is hard work. It can take months, years- we’re all just trying to live on a little rock in space the best we can. So come on- be nice to each other and just live our lives. 

let’s make our community something to be proud of.

Humans are Weird: Burnout

I didn’t know how best to phrase this, and I definitely didn’t write this with the express purpose to romanticize mental health issues; this is just my own experience with the thing

tw: burnout

On Earth, it would be a Friday.

If Nora was back home, it would be 6:22 PM.

She sat back down at her desk, stretching.

-x-

Vullox was conducting their regular End Of Week check-in. They stopped outside Nora’s door.

Inside was silent, but that was regular for this human. She had called herself a “homebody” once, they had remembered. They opened the door.

Now that Vullox was inside, they could hear a faint scratching noise. Human-Nora, they saw, was at the desk. They called to her.

No response.

Vullox made it halfway through the room when they slowed to a confused stop.

Nora was slumped at the desk, her head resting on the wood, her red pen scratching against the journal.

Vullox wondered briefly how Human-Nora could even be writing at all without being able to see the page. They came closer, almost hesitantly.

Nora’s eyes did not so much as move. They were half-open, staring blankly at a point near the door. Her breaths made a few strands of her black hair quiver over her mouth, but she did not notice - or she did not care. Her entire body was completely still—except her hand.

(There was a human word for this they had read somewhere - something relating to felines, Vullox thought.)

A mounting dread growing in them, they looked at the page.

Things that I do just to take stock because I’m so

freAKING

DEAD

grad school full time

WORKING full time

dealt with a nice guy I think??

Idk, I’m just sick of him at this point

blocked him yeah he got annoying I can’t express it

Reeling I guess from it

ESSAYS????!!!! WHY

WORKING

WAKING UP EARLY

LIKE EVERY FREAKING DAY I

DON’T

WANT IT

GOING THRU MY ESSAY OUTL

Here the words stopped, and Vullox looked at the pen.

They stepped back. Tried calling her name again, but the word seemed to die out. Their scales bristled and stuck out on all edges - the feelings of confusion and dread.

Human-Nora didn’t need to look at what she was writing. But it wasn’t muscle memory, as Human-Dalton had explained to them.

No, it was simply the fact that Human-Nora wasn’t writing anything at all.

The red pen moved up and down the page in short, irregular lines—sometimes dragging, sometimes in a quick burst. Occasionally, she would lift up the pen and tap at the page, before resuming. The page seemed to sink in on the most numerous of the red lines, so dense was the ink there. It was some strange, unknown language - or just no language at all.

Very suddenly, Vullox remembered the human word they were searching for as they stared at the pen, as they stared at her unblinking eyes and slumped form.

Catatonic.

Scales rustling, they walked quickly out of the room and to the one on its left.

-x-

Human-Sascha flung open the door in response to Vullox’s frantic calling. “What.”

She sounded so thoroughly annoyed that Vullox briefly reconsidered asking her for help.

“It is Human-Nora,” they responded quickly. “I went to go to her room for her check-in - I think there is—something—something wrong with her.” Vullox’s scales rustled and clicked constantly, a sign of fear on their home planet Vulmien.

“Is she alright?” Sascha asked as she shut the door behind her. Her voice was no longer annoyed - rather, it held a considerable amount of urgency.

She stepped through Nora’s open door and stopped for a few seconds. Nora was still at her desk, eyes glassy and pen scratching lifelessly. Vullox now could absorb the sight in full, and it rooted them to the spot.

Slowly Sascha made her way over to the desk and laid a hand on Nora’s back. She surveyed the writing in the journal and gently began rubbing Nora’s back, murmuring words that Vullox’s translator could just barely pick up:

“What makes you think you can’t do it?”

She murmured this a few times over, each with a pause between the sentence, each with some variation — as if she was having a conversation with Human-Nora’s brain.

The pen scratched on, still in the same irregular rhythm. Nora lay still, breathing through her mouth. The few strands of hair that lay in front of her mouth quivered with a severe regularity that (strangely) unsettled Vollux even though they knew normal human breathing patterns were set to a tempo.

The pen slowed—at least, there seemed to be more pauses between the lines and taps Human-Nora was creating.

Slowly, the pen grinded to a halt, wobbling on its tip. A few more taps.

The pen fell onto the messy page with Nora’s hand covering it. Her eyes closed and opened, and she blinked a few times. She stirred slightly, her back shifting. Her breathing grew deeper, inhales sharper, almost as if it itself was sentient.

Vullox reflected that it was rather like... watching someone coming back to life.

It took even more time for her to push herself up into a normal sitting position. She leaned into Sascha’s arms, sniffled, and a guttural sound escaped her, quite unlike her regular voice.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. Vullox was struck by how much like a child she sounded - a child apologizing to their mother.

“You’re alright,” Sascha murmured into the girl’s hair. “You’re back here now.”

Nora sniffled again. “I don’t wanna… do complex thinking.” She brought a hand up to her face and wiped something on her jeans; she had been crying while in her previous state.

She continued, still in the same child-like tone. “I just wanna… be a cat… and think of cat things… all the time…”

Sascha hid a smile, patting Nora’s arm rhythmically. “Which cat would you like to be?”

“A really fluffy one. Like that Minuet cat, with the fluffy tail.” Nora’s mouth twitched a little. “I’m not even… a cat person. I like dogs. Small dogs.”

“Come.” Sascha wrapped an arm around Nora and led her to the bed. “Come. Rest now. You’ve done a lot for the day.”

Nora curled into herself, beneath the blue blankets, until all that was visible of her were messy tufts of hair sticking up onto the pillow.

Vullox watched Human-Sascha swipe through Human-Nora’s phone and set it down on the little table near the bed just as a man’s voice began to speak from it:

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much…”

-x-

Sascha led a highly-confused Vullox out of Nora’s room and gently shut the door behind her.

“She put too much on herself,” she said quietly. “She’s suffering from burnout, so I put her to sleep with some Harry Potter. It’s always been comforting to her whenever she was sick, so I figured this would call for that.”

“But - what is - what about the… red markings in her journal?”

Sascha nodded. “She was initially trying to take stock of everything—trying to see what she had to do so she wouldn’t go on worrying for longer than she needs to. I guess… it turned into a vent, and then it got too much for her. So she just broke down.”

“So… this - this burnout… it does this to her? This strong of a reaction? She seemed quite… catatonic when I first found her.”

Sascha sighed. “This time was particularly strong. But other times she just vents it in her journal, or to someone. She’s not too confident in herself either, so those words that I kept repeating seem to help her.”

There was a pause.

“Thank you. For calling me.” Sascha's eyebrows were drawn with worry, but they cleared quickly.

There were good reasons, Vullox knew, that the two friends had requested to be put next to each other on the ship.

This had to be the strongest one yet.

Be gay

Do crime

Ok so I know that there's this whole thing on Humans are space orcs about aliens being surprised on what we eat, like acidic food,etc.

But I've yet to see a post based on the opposite so what if they eat or drink stuff that we humans can't have and now it's our turn to be shocked.

Alien: Uhh still can't believe that you humans can eat all those things you call oranges,I mean that thing is filled with all sorts of acidic acids

Human: Well it's acidic to you and your species but not to us. I mean you have to have something in your diet that we humans can't eat right?

Alien: Hmmm let me think.I mean,the galactic cuisine menu on aboard is mostly edible to all species as it's meant to cut down on cost of having to order specific meals from all corners of the galaxy.And the drink you have hidden in your room doesn't count as I noticed it gets emptier every 7 cycles.

Human: What drink?I thought you were going to mention something I couldn't eat or drink but if it's in my room then it's most likely edible.Also where did you find this drink?

Alien: Well I found it in the storage areas along with all the cleaning supplies, figured it must be one of those alcoholic drinks you humans enjoy,just thought you hid it away from anyone else.

Human: Wait, you found it next to the cleaning supplies?Dude those are strictly cleaning supplies and plus I don't have any alcoholic beverages in my room!

Alien: Really?Well I had a taste of it and it was very similar to a drink I've had from back home.I had no idea that humans made it as well.Though the name was kinda weird.Why was it called 'Bleach'?

Human:

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

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EXCUSE BUT WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU DRANK?!

Ok so we all know about humans being deathworlds/space orcs as well as some people saying humans are space dogs or humans are space cats or humans are space fae.

My I present to to you...

Humans Are Space Badgers

I have no idea if this has bin done but humans are a lot like badgers and even though badgers don't pack bond they are tough little shits that no one real wants to mess with as, if you try and take one down you now damn well they are not leaving this world with out biting and scratching the hell out of you as much they can, and doing enough damage that it will have a lasting mark on you. You may live to tell the tail but you will never attack one again, and if you don't live well let's just say anybody who witnessed it will say they tore you limb from limb and sprawled your insides, out onto the ground. Also we can look very cute and fluffy.

Thank you to everyone who got me to 250 likes!

Ayo

Thank u sm

I cant type my hands are numb

Help

I know I already posted one of these today but I just wanted to post again bc wtf.

Many of the best human runners can run about 124 miles. The record was 350. But we’re just gonna go with 124 for this post as that seem to be the more normal number for running athletes that don’t possess the rare genetic ability to rapidly accelerate the clearing of lactic acid in the muscles.

A deer can run 10 to 15 kilometers before collapsing thats about 6 to 9 miles.

It’s.. it’s absolutely insane to think about. I personally can’t even run for one mile (but I also have a lack of red blood that prevents me from circulating oxygen properly)

Imagine an alien asks a human about their hunting techniques and they’re just like “Jesus what the f-ck?”

“Human, you lack sharp teeth or claws, you can’t run fast, you’re not venomous and you’re not very strong. How did you manage to become apex predators? You didn’t always have weapons after all!”

“Uhhhh we ran em to death.”

“You what”

“Giddy up”

“WHAT”

*(playful) chasing ensues*

Master list

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble