You See, Perry The Platypus, When Vanessa Was A Little Girl, She Wanted To Take Estrogen. Of Course,

pesterlog dialog for deez guyz + alt colors n closeup under cut

CA: (oh my cod kar are you seain wwhat im seain) CG: (THAT TACKY MALL COPS RUN OF THE MILL- NO MORE LIKE RUN OVER BY A THOUSAND HOOFBEASTS SIMULTANEOUSLY EXPERIENCING THEIR CHUTES CONVULSE AND VACATE THE EVER SO FRAGRANT CONTENTS OF THEIR EXCREMENT TUNNELS. LIKE THEY ALL STOPPED THEIR STAMPEDE FOR A SNACK BREAK OF GAS STATION SUSHI AND THE SIGHT OF THAT BASTARD SHOCKED THE WEAKEST MOST DELICATE OF THEM ALL TO LET IT LOOSE SUBSEQUENTLY TRIGGERING THE ENTIRE HERD TO EXPLODE IN A RIVVER OF-OH FUCK) CG: (DOES IT LOOK LIKE HES COMING THIS WAY OR-) CG: OH MY GOD HE JUST SHOVED THAT POOR WRIGGLER OUT OF THE WAY AND HES LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME LIKE I OWE HIM MONEY HE MUST DESPERATELY NEED CG: OH FUCK. OH GOD HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD TAKE EQUIUS ON. OK, OK, OK, THIS IS FINE THIS IS LIGHT WORK! JUST GOTTA COME UP WITH A PLAN REAL FUCKING QUICK CG: ... CG: GOG WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO US?!? I MEAN SEALIOUSLY WE CAN'T BE THE ONLY ASSHOLES WHO GOSSIP ABOAT THE LOCAL MULTIPLEXCRETIA FROM TIME TO TIME

CG: UGHHHHHH I REALLY DONT WANNA GET KICKED OUT OF THIS ONE, THEYVE GOT THE BEST GRUBBLE TEA!!! SHIT I'D ASK YOUR ADVICE BUT I KNOW YOU'RE JUST GONNA SAY WE MURDER THE POOR BASTARD- OH FUCK HE'S JOGGING NOW. JUST GREAT. I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN ONE OF THEM DO THAT CA: oh cmon kar put a little faith in me CA: although to be quite frank i dont think no body wwould miss paul blart ovver here like somebody needs to put him out of his misery for the dowwnright pathetic example hes settin for this fine establishment CA: oh fin dont evven start ill just threaten him a little and wwith that fuckin wwriggler toy excuse for a wweapon im sure hell back off before you can snap your gripin little clawws CG: ALRIGHT BUT DONT YOU EVEN FUCKING THINK OF PULLING THE CROSSHAIRS OUT AS "JUST A THREAT." THIS IS GONNA BE A VOCAL THING ONLY, AND SPEAKING OF EXPATIATING, WE MIGHT EVEN GET OUT OF THIS UNBANNED AND WITHOUT BLOOD ON OUR HANDS IF YOU JUST DONT. SO JUST TO BE CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR, I NEED YOU TO JUST SIT THERE LOOKING PRETTY AND SHUTTING YOUR TRAP LIKE YOU'RE BEING EXPLOITED FOR ENTERTAINMENT BY MR.FEAST IN EXCHANGE FOR A MILLION FUCKING BUCKS OKAY? YOU WOULD ABSOLUTELY KILL AT THAT KIND OF THING IF YOU TRIED, YOUR NONVERBAL BITCHFEST COMMUNICATION ALONE WOULD RACK IN BILLIONS OF VIEWS SO LETS JUST PRETEND!! OKAY?? THIS IS JUST THE FUN MAKE BELEIVE TIME PART OF OUR DATE. CG: WE CAN GO TO THAT STUPID SALAD PLACE YOU LIKE SO MUCH IF YOU JUST TRUST ME TO HANDLE THIS LIKE THE COMPETENT ORATOR I AM AND WAS ALWAYS HATCHED TO BE CG: I MEAN I DONT DISAGREE THAT SOMEONE SHOULD TAKE THIS GUY DOWN A PEG BUT I DONT MEAN THAT LITERALLY SO "WWATCH YOURSHELF" OR I SWEAR TO GOD- CG: OH WHY HELLO MR MALL COP- I MEAN OFFICER!! WE WERE JUST HARMLESSLY PATRONIZING THIS- CA: listen here you ovvergrowwn frat trash wwhy dont you haul you and your little school girl baton in the other direction and do your fuckin job for a change instead of eavvsdroppin like the no life havvin filth wwallowwing pig loser scum you undoubtedly are or i promise ill make it so you wwont havve a chance in shell at employment anywwhere EVVER again CG: OF FUCKING COURSE

evil vampire.

I got bored

illustration I did for the March Eridan zine which you can find here !!

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

aradiabot tearing out her heart or aradiabot exploded?? ^^

this was so satysfying to draw i locked in i love metal

NOOOO I FUCKING FORGOT TO DRAW BLOOD. HOW COULD I. the curse of me forgetting details continues......... NOOOOOO AND HER FUCKING TEETH. NOOOOOOOO. NO I REFUSE. NO. NO NON NONONONONONON. NO. god fukcing damn it.

anyways thanks for the request *cries in a corner*

OKAYYY-

I couldn't choose between sailor style swim suits- or the classic sailor school uniform!