80kg - 45kg

I wanna be scary thin but I can’t even get normal thin.

My mum just yelled at me bc i am low in iron like wtf? This is not my fault?

Gosh, i hate it here

Yesterday, there was an incredible loud bang and literally the whole house was shaking. Rn, we know that it was bc of an airplane. However, my brother just admitted that he thought that i fell on the floor. This hurt so bad, i wish i would never eat again 💔

I’ve never been the first choice

I’ve never been one of the popular girls

I’ve never been invited to all the parties

I’ve never been a ‘goal’ anything

I’ve never been liked

But

trust me

Once I reach my goal, you’ll all see

How beautiful I’ve become

How much of a ‘goal’ I am

How everyone will like me

How I will be the first choice

How much I’ve changed

But

that won’t happen as long as

I choose the sweets over my stomach

I grab the cake without thinking about my thighs

I eat the junk food not giving any thought visible collarbones or dainty fingers

I continue stuffing myself not thinking about my body

I eat like this

But

If I stopped now

If I restricted

If I controlled my own urges

If I lose weight

I will get there

Trust me.

Just venting

I got a message that yesterday, i had contact to a Person who has covid. I was at the doctors office with my mum and later went to university.

So to decide where i had this contact, i went to my mum and asked her if she had gotten this message, too. My mum and my father were watching a movie when i asked. My mum immediately checked her Phone, but my dad just yelled at me for disturbing them and blamed me for leaving the house so often. Then He yelled at me to go to my room befor my mother could even answer me

Bruh i wish i could live on my own

10 things to do if you feel like binging

1. Listen to music

2. Paint your nails.

3. Do at least 1 homework assignment

4. Go outside and get some air

5. Text/FaceTime a friend

6. Go on tumblr(my favorite😛)

7. Take a shower or bath

8. Play with a pet

9. Do your makeup

10. Do a chore like dishes, or laundry

10 low cal foods to eat

1. Popcorn (50 calories per cup)

2. cucumbers (16 calories in a cup)

3. Rice cakes (30 calories per cake)

4. Lettuce(5 calories per cup!!!)

5. Pickles(16 calories per cup)

6. Carrots( 45 calories per cup)

7.broth (16-ish calories per cup)

8. Watermelon(46 calories per cup)

9.Egg whites(16 calories per egg-also high in protein)

10. Plain non fat yogurt(137 calories per cup)

10 things to do after you binge

1. Take a deep breath, it’s okay

2. Drink at least one cup of water

3. Go on a walk

4. Try and write down what foods made you binge so it won’t happen again

5. Clean up any messes you made

6. Take a shower

7. Write down a plan on how not to binge next time

8. Do something productive

9. Purging isn’t worth it

10. Try again tomorrow❤️

“The hunger to be thin became more than the hunger within.”

My personal bingo

For you:

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Anyone else out here who has an ed but is obsessed with the 'that girl trend?

If there is someone, message me if you want to be friends and motivate each other to work out, eat small & cute portions and work out :)