I’m Deficient In Vitamins They Haven’t Even Discovered Yet

> robot bf being a little shit !!

hey what are you doing on my Pinterest feed.. (remembered one of your theriotypes is a barn owl and i tend to get recommended images of ‘em so.. very silly)

needless to say im sobbing

it’s genuinely so funny that im alive and this is what im doing

[hunched trembling in a dark corner with a knife] I can be normal about normal things and I can prove it

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

unfortunately it appears that i'm some kind of insane person

My tattoo artist told me his teenage son came out to him as trans by giving him a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

"That's cute," I said.

"It was NOT cute!" he snapped. "I thought he was pregnant."

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

they should invent a cigarette that gives you vitamins and hrt and shit