Fuck You Fuck You Now I Need To Write This Fuck You Fuck You

Me and my friend we having a heated conversation about how elves can walk on snow (neither of us even CONSIDERED magic). We thought they were light because they are hollow bones and barely ate due to slow digestion or some shit. Slowly, the conversation went to this; “do you think you can tell when an elf needs to poop because they start sinking in the snow”? That’s it. That’s all I have to say.

piss is apart of a heart healthy breakfast

I just fucking woke up on my period and this is what I get?

Can I request Piers, Milo, and Hop with a Heavily pregnant reader carrying twins and is very stubborn about people helping them

This was requested by this beautiful bean!!! I love this idea and this was just too cute to say no to!! I hope you enjoy!

Remember; requests are open!!

Hop!, Piers!, and Milo! With a very stubborn!; pregnant! S/O:

Hop:

This boy is concerned that you are up and running around when your due in a few days

“Maybe you should take a brea-” “I’m fine, I don’t need one, I have things to do”!

Tries convincing you to rest

He takes a few days off from the lab to make sure you aren’t overworking yourself

Pulls you away while your doing dishes and leads you to the couch to snuggle

You try pulling away

It doesn’t work as his Dubwool lays on top of you two

“Hoppy, I have things I need to get don-” “Shh, please babe, just. Rest.”

He pets your hair

You two end up sleeping for the whole day

Till- you wake up because your water broke

He wakes up and rushes you to the hospital, planning on staying with you the whole time

He even takes about 3 weeks off after your child is born just to make sure you don’t start working again

Piers:

Piers is always finding you jamming to the guitar with your pokemon during the night, making you lose sleep

He keeps pulling you away for bed since your due extremely soon

“Babe, its time to rest” “But Piers, I’m not tired”

“But the baby is”

He has to force you to sleep by lots of cuddles and a heated blanket on his couch in his apartment in Spikemuth

Team yell needs to keep an eye on you while Piers is at the gym so you’re not working or doing anything he said not to

You do it anyway of course

Team yell can’t do much about it except tell you to stop, which you didn’t

They tell Piers

For the next 4 weeks, he took his gym off and made Marnie take care of his work

Every day he keeps an eye on you and you two cuddle for hours every day

“Babe, it’s getting late, I should go and get some groceries for dinner” “Nope, nice try, I’m not stupid. You’re not leaving my sight, ill have the Grunts get it”

“But-” “Nope, don’t try”

You already know he will do his best to be the best father possible

Milo:

Farmboy will treat you right no doubt

You’re always trying to work with him in the field

That’s a big nope

I He would scoop you up and plant you down on the rocking chair on his porch

He would sit next to you and lay his head on your belly

I Sometimes he would wake up in his bed and you wouldn’t be there

He would freak out but find you working in the garden

“Babe! What are you doing! Oh, you shouldn’t be doing that! You might get hurt”!

“Milo I’m fine”! “I’m not risking it”!

He would cuddle with you while his Eldergloss would keep an eye on the fields so none of the wild pokemon would steal from the field

You two would just lay on the bed and let time fly bye till the moment comes

You’d be little spoon as he would wrap his big, strong arms around you

Get ready to receive little kisses on the back of the head and lots of “I love you so much hon”.

Once your water breaks, he is rushing you to the hospital in his big strong arms!

21 hours of labor later, you both have a beautiful set of twins

Once you got home he called all gym battles off

He wouldn’t go to the gym, he could just stay there and cuddle with you and his children till the end of time

Sooner or later though, he had to return to his duties, but you promised once your children where old enough, they could come to the battles

Guys I’m updating this right now. Stay tuned for a part two with updated rankings and new shockwaves!

Rating Shockwaves based on how much I’d like them to take me on a date.

For experiment purposes of course-

Number 9.

Shockblast: Transformers Energon

Rating: 1/10

Reasoning: He is very… destructive. He has a bad attitude and sounds like he just had 23 pounds of black tar heroin. I wouldn’t mind sitting down and getting to know him but, I don’t think I’d last 12 seconds around this emotional wreck of a mech.

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Number 8:

Shockwave: BayVerse: Dark of the Moon

Rating: 3/10

Reasoning: I wouldn’t mind going out to dinner with him but if he brings his pet, I’m out of there. If he could speak more English instead of mumbling Cybertronian, we might get somewhere. He doesn’t look very cuddly so, I can’t see us vibing on the couch anytime soon.

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Number 7.

Shockwave; IDW Comics

Rating: 3.5/10

Reasoning: Scary. I like bots like that but this is… scary on another level. In my opinion, he was one of the most fearful Shockwaves that I’ve seen. I’m sure he is a nice person deep down, but for now, I’ll just get a coffee with him.

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Number 6.

Shockwave; KnightVerse

Rating: 4/10

Reasoning: We don’t know much about him, having only heard him speak once or maybe twice but, I will go on a date with him. Can I sit in his lap? Yes? Awesome. I think we would have an ok time, though it would be awkward. If it goes well, I’d go on a few more with him, and he does look better than BayVerse shockwave so, maybe we can cuddle?

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Number 5.

Shockwave; WFC

Rating: 5.5/10

Reasoning: Hear me out. He seems like a cool guy. In the Show, you can see him flinching from Megatron quite a lot, making me thing he isn’t as ‘emotionless’ as he says in the show. I’d love to go out with him, and I think we would both have a great time.

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Number 4.

Shockwave; G1

Rating: 7/10

Reasoning: Cuddle bug. He is such a dork and a dumbass, I love him so much. We would have a great time just going out and getting coffee or maybe going to the library. G1, if you see this, call me🥺.

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Number 3.

Shockwave; CyberVerse

Rating: 8/10

Reasoning: Very angry man. I’d want to take him out to just let him get rid of some of that stress, like seriously. Poor fucking dude. I feel like he would have a lot of emotional issues so we would stay up late and watch the stars, venting to each other. He would love cuddles, but not around other people.

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Number 2.

Shockwave; Animated

Rating: 10/10

Reasoning: HUMP ME, FUCK ME, DADDY BETTER MAKE ME CHOKE. I love him so much honestly. His little deer antlers 🥺🥺. Please take me on a date, or 2, or 40, or just marry me please? I love how he openly laughs in the show and how stupid he is. In a cute way of course.

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Number 1:

Shockwave; TFP

Rating: 10/10

Reasoning: Do I really need to explain myself? Animated has the most emotional Shockwave but Prime has the most expressive one. I’d love to sit down with him somewhere and play with his little ear fins. I’d love to stay up late by his side and watch him work for hours on end.

Hi! Can you do a scenario where bot s/o is comfronting sad rung? He was forgotten (again) and this time it was just a breaking point? Like the reader is just giving cuddles, comfronting words ect.

Yes.

I will write.

I must write.

I personally love Rung angst, it’s weird but I love it so much. So, here is Rung absolutely losing his shit. Also, I made reader gender neutral, your welcome UwU. I might make this a longer story because I like the name and how it ended.

Rung X Bot! Reader: Cords

Keywords:

Y/N= Your Name

O/C= Optic Color

P/C= Primary Color

S/C= Secondary Color

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Anger. A feeling he was so foreign too as he aggressively pushed a large stack of paper onto the once spotless floor. Anxiety. A feeling that was crawling up inside his chest plaiting. He should be immune to it, due to what he does for a living. But he was wrong. Self-doubt. He was great, right? He was worth something. Was he? Who was he again? Is he good enough? I don’t know. Loneliness. The one emotion he was used too. So why was he acting like this? Why lash out at something he knew would happen. He could barely see through his angry haze as he pushed another stack of paperwork to the floor, stray papers drifting in the room. He snarled, glancing at the scattered paper before he made his way to his birth, hot tears flowing down his faceplate as he kept his dermas bared. He sat, ex-venting as he slowly began to see again. And that’s when it hit. He stared at his now trashed habsuit in utter horror. Had he done this? How could he let himself get out of control?? What was wrong with him?! His shoulder plaiting shifting downward as he rested his helm on his servos and cried silently, leaving himself to deal with his own monsters. Or so he though before a warm touch on his shoulder shocked him back into reality. He onlined his optics as he was met with O/C ones. There was a dip in his birth as he guessed his visitor must have sat next to him. The P/C servo moved from his shoulder down to his back struts, giving comforting rubs as Rung leaned into their touch. “It’s ok”. A voice spoke, smooth as silk and light as a feather. “It will be ok”. It spoke again, erasing any doubt that would try to dig into his broken down mind. That voice was a lifeline. And he knew it belonged to sweet Y/N. Before he was able to realize or question what was going on, he was pulled into the newcomer’s P/C and S/C chest. They held him close, giving him comforting rubs and whispered calming words near his audio receptors. He broke. He couldn’t even pretend to hold it is as he burst into tears in the other’s chest. Y/N hated to see him like this, and has only been there one other time when he had these breakdowns. It breaks their spark to see someone so loving and caring to be broken down into a wallowing mess. He never deserved to feel this way or to be forgotten after all that the old god had done. He had saved Cybertron more times than most can count for Primus sakes! If only Whirl and the others could see that, like you did. His crying had abruptly stopped as he looked at you with beautiful teary optics. Wait. Did you say all of that out loud? In front of him? A small smile grazed his dermas as he moved his hand to cup your cheek. Welp. You sat there, scared as hell and a blushing mess. He didn’t seem to mind nor’ care as he leaned in slowly and gently rested his dermas on your’s. You where starstruck. He was so perfect and his kisses just prove the fact even more. After a second or two, he moved away, rubbing the back of his servo on his optics. “Wow”. Really? That’s all you could say right now? Rung let out the smallest chuckle, and leaned his helm against your chest armor again, venting softly. “Thank you Y/N”. There it was. The voice of god (literally-). You could melt from the smoothness of his voice. It was the perfect cord to any song. The perfect cord for your song.

Guys make this popular or you don’t get piss

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ANYTHING WITH ULQUIORRA PLEASE I BEG, THERES NOT ENOUGH FICS OF HIM IM THIRSTY

Ulquiorra X Gn! Reader

{🦇SFW and NSFW Headcannons🦇}

[In which Ulquiorra is yours…]

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Welcome dear! Thank you for the request! I’m a big fan of Ulquiorra and find him pretty cool. Remember, request for all Bleach characters are open 24/7!

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Warnings:

Soft Ulquiorra

Dom/sub dynamics

Soft kisses

Nsfw stuff

Fluff

Smut

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SFW:

Ulquiorra is an asshole, an emotionless asshole, except to you.

When things first started, he refused to look or even talk to you, sometimes refused to be in the same room as you, but overtime, that all stopped.

Now, he really like hovering over you, just standing behind you, showing comfort without others knowing.

When in private, he loves to hold you close and kiss the pulse on your neck. Feeling your heartbeat under his lips does something to him. Not only that, but the concept of you letting him, a hollow, kiss you somewhere that could kill you with one bite makes him feel something. Something like a strong sensation of love and trust.

He refused to show much love towards you in front of any other Espada, last think he needs is him, or worse, you getting made fun of. He won’t allow it.

He genuinely likes to sleep while holding you, he really does enjoy it and he doesn’t k ow why. Feelings such as this is useless, so why does he feel good? Why does he care about you so much.

You where the first to say the big three words. ‘I love you’. And why you did, you knew he wouldn’t say it back. He does love you, but he can’t bring himself to say it, not yet. But once you say it, he became deeply affected by it. Holding you closer, touching you softer, kissing you longer.

He kisses your hand sometimes, which is surprising because the first time he did it, was in front of Lord Aizen himself, after you complete a mission perfectly, even as a human.

He is the type to silently be like, “LOOK AT THAT! THAT’S MY S/O! DOES EVERYONE SEE THEM”? Somehow always has a proud glint in his eyes when your around.

He kinda enjoys hugging you and holding your hand. He finds you so warm and he enjoys it from his cold skin. You set him ablaze.

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NSFW:

Ulquiorra will take a long time for him to get this vulnerable with you. Exposing his skin to your eyes is something he was very hesitant to do.

But once he does, oh boy, he is stunning.

During most days, he will be the dominant one, always being soft with you. But on some days, he will allow you to take control.

He enjoys holding your hand during soft sex, and loved having his body really close to yours, feeling your breath on his cheek as he nibbles at your neck.

The first time, he’ll be super soft with you, going in and out of you so slowly as to not break you. But once you two are comfortable after a while, he may get rougher.

The first time he finally says that he loves you is when he finishes inside of you for the first time.

He is really sweet during sex, always whispering kind words to you as he softly thrusts up into you.

He enjoys the lights being off during the act, he finds it more intimate.

He really does love you and really enjoys kissing your lips during the act. Ya’ know…to keep you quiet ;).

Hallo! Could I request a scenario with Ravage x Human !Artist!SO who spend a lot of time drawing everyone they like on the LL, but mostly it still Ravage. Thank you !

I had so much fun drawing this to be honest. I love Ravage to death and if anyone has any more requests for him, I’ll happily do it! I seriously love this guy so plz send in requests for him.

MTMTE Ravage! X Artist! Reader!: Observer

Keywords:

H/C= Hair Color

Y/N= Your Name

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The mechanimal watched in amazement from the vents, staring down at the H/C haired organic who had a weird looking book in her hands, marking a piece of wood against it, creating lines. On the page was a stunning drawing of him, every detail showing itself to the open. He could hardly believe it, why would suck a pathetic creature draw someone like him? It made no since. He has seen her draw others on the Lost Light, his favorite being a stunning drawing of Megatron holding his cannon, but he had never spoken to her and he had never seen her draw him. He felt proud honestly; and he never felt proud. He watched for a little longer before silently breaking through the vents and sneaking towards her birth, keeping his body fused to the floor; and considering how large he was, he moved like a cat would. His steps were almost too quiet for her to hear over her pencil. He slinked up the bed a sat of the foot of it. The black mechanical cat loomed over her as she continues to sketch him. His feline eyes fixed on the paper in front of him as she drew in a trance. He was taller than her by a lot, and probably heavier by a ton. He had a massive head, much like the rest of his body, and the same strong, red, fearless eyes. His lips were straight, and his claws were jutting out, as if he was preparing to fight something. His tail flicked as his eyes moved to her. "You are... the liaison? The artist?" She paused, looking up at the newcomer, before giving a small nod. “You have beautiful art.” Now that, he knew she didn’t expect, judging by the shocked face and glowing blush that covers her face. “T-thank you.” Her voice was soft, but he could hear it. He gave a small nod before laying down on the bed, staring down at the book again. She was hesitant before slowly going back to drawing him, looking at him occasionally to make sure it looked accurate. “What is your name organic?” She jumped as he suddenly spoke, thankfully it didn’t make her mess up. “Y/N.” He simply nodded before looking back at the paper. “I am Ravage, but you can call me the observer.”

Weirdest writer i have seen...

I'm following now😮☝️😬✊

This is the greatest complement of my life

Welcome to my hell friend! Stay for a bit even though I’m not very active!

GUESS WHO’S TURNING 1 ON THIS APP TODAY?

All requests for everything will be open, but I’ll only be taking 4, so send in some interesting ideas!

Let’s fucking celebrate y’all!!🎁🎈🎊🪅🎉💝

Special shout-out to @spaghetti-draws-stuff , @xxlucifer-ink-mistakexx , @whoppiebabey , @hayleyb100 , and @oh-its-phoebe !

I love all of you guys and you all have helped me through so much, I don’t know I could of made it without you guys💕💕, I love you all!

And a special shout-out to all my followers! I love all 118 of you guys! You make me have a purpose to keep writing and I love you all for it!!💕💕💝😘