A Response To The “Athena Is A Victim Blamer And Hates Women” Crowd

i’m screaming

Prompt: Ex boyfriend of MK kidnaps him until Red Son and the gang rescue him

Sorry if you have done this one already

It was well known that Qi Xiaotian had a history.

It was not a history of good decisions. Not that he did anything wrong, but his exes were not good people. Cheating on him, framing or hitting on Xiaojiao so Xiaotian would cut her out, abusive, super transphobic, or just being a bad person in general, the list went on. Xiaotian was embarrassed by it but at least the weirder ones were a good drunk story.

This would not be a good drunk story.

“What the fuck, Haoran?!” Xiaotian scrabbled against the ropes tying him tight, his wrists tied behind him. One minute, he had been parking the tuk-tuk outside the shop. The next, brown fur had invaded his vision as his ex had grabbed him, tied him, and tossed him in the back of his van.

And it was still gross, with cigarette marks littering the seats and the smell of takeout (and the containers) taking up the floor. Empty alcohol bottles clinked together. “Shut up, Xiaotian!” Haoran shot back, his claws digging into the wheel. Shit, he still didn’t look at the road when he drove?! “I’m doing this for us!”

Xiaotian gaped, mind trying to connect dots before he could sputter something out. “Wha- You dumped me!” Literally. Haoran had ordered Xiaotian to get out after a long drunk drive that involved arguing about kids. He had dumped him on the side of the road and then sped off. Xiaojiao was a lifesaver.

“Well, you’ve improved yourself!” Haoran said, anger dying down to be replaced by cheerfulness. Xiaotian gaped at him, raising a brow. The bear turned and grinned at him, yellowed teeth glinting in the light. “With your whole Monkie Kid schtick, you’ve really shot up in the world!”

“I didn’t do it for you!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah-” Haoran swerved to avoid another car and Xiaotian grunted as his head slammed into the window. “Lie all you want babe. I know you still got the hots for me and I’m giving you the chance to prove it.”

Ugh, he wasn’t gonna let him go, was he?

Xiaotian once again tried to pick at the knots wrapped around his wrists. All he needed was his staff, because he certainly didn’t trust his ex’s driving enough to shrink, find a hole and slip out of. Haoran was sloppy with everything, from cleaning to lovemaking, so surely-

Oh come on. Were knots the one thing he cared about?

“-got a nice little place where we can lay low- HEY!”

The van screeched to a stop and Xiaotian yelped as he nearly toppled over. Haoran was yelling at someone before the driver door was wrenched open and a familiar red hand shot out and yanked the bear demon out. The next moment, the van door slid open. “Xiaotian!”

He craned his neck and grinned at the familiar green eyes. “Xiaojiao!”

“I am so sorry!” Xiaojiao apologized as she pulled out a switchblade and cut through the ropes. “I should’ve come sooner-”

“It’s not your fault,” Xiaotian sighed, hugging her. “I’m just glad you and Red are here.” The shouting was still going on. Curious, he glanced over and felt his face flush.

Right, Red was fucking hot. Especially now, as the demon prince, his bull form out and exposed, glared silently at the bear demon that dared to lay a hand on his Noodle Boy. When Haoran’s yelling and frantic struggle finally died down, Red finally spoke.

“Keep your hands off him.”

And just like that, Haoran was slammed into the pavement, left stunned in a him-shaped hole. Xiaotian froze as Red’s head shot in his direction, burning eyes boring into his skin and deep into his soul. Heat soared through him.

Gods, he was so handsome.

And strong, based on how easily he lifted Xiaotian up into his arms. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, lightly bumping his forehead against his. “His stink is all over you.”

Xiaotian smiled, pressing a kiss to his nose, right above his pretty nose ring. “I’m good.” he sighed. “I’m lucky to have you.”

The first good decision in his history.

lmao so im completely shameless and a sucker for physical intimacy so ive been thinkin abt darling just having childe or kaeya sit on the floor while theyre in a chair and them just. slinging their legs over his shoulders as they do other work ?? they meant it as a friendly gesture to make him happy but also he might b drooling when they gently press their thighs against his head -💉

Slight NS_FT

No, because this ask has completely rotted my brain… Kaeya and Childe are such prevs they’d turn the most innocent of actions into fantasy material… little gross men </3

Warnings: Yandere, GN! reader, God! reader, talks of religion, obsessive behavior/mindset, mentions of murder/death (by thighs/legs), perv! Childe, perv! Kaeya, masochistic tendencies? (especially on Childe’s part), implied sub!character x dom!reader dynamics,

The rest of the ask is under the read more!

— Kaeya

You’d only called for Kaeya’s assistance since Lisa wasn’t around to help you like she normally would; you were in the library just looking for some books to pass time – being under constant surveillance by some of the most protective people in Teyvat often led to your activities being restricted for your “safety”.

He’d been more than happy to drop what he was doing (which honestly was him preparing to go bother Diluc for the afternoon) to come to your aid. He’d teased you a bit, joking about how much you needed him - probably to try and distract from the obvious blush in his face the longer he spent time with you - but eventually helped you find some books about Teyvat’s mythology and history, both subjects that has greatly interested you since long before arriving.

He insists you read yourself, saying something amongst the lines of “I’m too tired, but if you want - I’m more than happy to listen to you reading it for me” though you’re inclined to believe he simply wanted the chance to silently stare at you, a guess that came from the fact that current that was exactly what he was doing.

You found it weird that he didn’t seem to sit down, opting to stand tall and proud beside you, you’d insisted he take the seat beside you but he refused - that is, until you gesture to one of the pillows on the ground, one that found itself laying just between your legs and the plush chair your rested upon.

“Why don’t you sit there if you’ve got such a problem with chairs?” It was partially a joke, you didn’t think he’d rather sit on the ground than an actual chair, and a last ditch attempt to have him sit down somewhere (because heaven knows how much it stressed you out to see him just standing there on the side, didn’t his feet hurt? Wasn’t his back tired? He’d been there unmoving for at least half an hour), you didn’t think he’d silently take the seat beneath your own and sweetly smile up at you.

“Probably the best seat in the house,” he muses, looking around between your legs as his eye twinkled with admiration while he stared at your shocked expression, “come on, you invited me over - don’t tell me you didn’t mean it?”

“Haha, very funny, Sir Kaeya.” You roll your eyes, hiding your face into the book - hoping the cover would be enough to hide the embarrassed look in your face - it’s not your fault he makes you flustered.

He simply laughs, finding your newfound embarrassment amusing, and lets his head hit the edge of the cushioned seat almost touching your skin, as if afraid of defiling you with his touch - “I’m not bothering you, am I?” He asks, his eyes closed, realizing he might be taking too much space for your legs to properly rest.

“Hmm, not really,” you think, your legs were a bit cramped up from earlier, you look down upon the man sitting beneath you, “but it’s fixable.”

You test the waters and let your legs rest upon his shoulders before simply letting them drape over his upper body - he doesn’t react much, simply stiffening at the contact before slowly relaxing - “You don’t mind, do you?” You tease, ready to move your legs in case he asks you to.

“N-not at all.” He coughs into his hand and it’s your turn to be amused at his sudden shyness; did you hear it right? Had Kaeya, the Kaeya Alberich, just stuttered? You go to remove your legs, shocked at the realization, but his hands shoot up to grasp at your thighs; “Don’t! I… I mean, you don’t have to, I’m fine… unless you want to, then it’s… fine too.”

You smile slightly, but opt not to tease him too much - not when you feel him hesitantly lay his cheeks against your skin, caressing your legs with such tenderness you struggle to believe this is the same man who’d slaughtered hundreds of his people, your eyes visibly saddened at the idea.

What a troubled soul, you muse while letting your body limp against him, you remember all you’d heard about his past and lore and your heart aches and so you make a promise to yourself to try and spend more time with him.

If only you knew, that while you worried and pondered over his past - the Cavalry Captain was all but drooling over the way your legs squeezed his cheeks. You would be surprised at how hard it was to contain the moan itching to rise from his throat when he felt your legs first find his body, if he could - he’d turn around and kiss your feet, let his hands wander your sacred skin while he proclaimed how grateful he was for you and your love, but he didn’t want to ruin such a peaceful moment. All you had to do was squeeze your legs and decide to restrict his airflow with your thighs and he’d be a goner, dead - no longer alive, but he didn’t mind at all - he’d rather die at your hands (legs) than die any other way, he wants to laugh at the thought.

His heart was beating a thousand miles an hour, he could hardly contain the excitement crawling all over his body the longer his skin touched yours. It felt electrifying, a buzz stronger than even Dawn’s Winery’s finest alcohol couldn’t compare to. If anyone looked at him, they’d think he was edging himself just by the lewd look that took over his handsome features.

For now, he’d keep these thoughts to himself - simply hoping you’d been so kind as to help him later with his little problem, courtesy of your unknown effects on the Khaenri’ahn.

….

— Childe

Your time in Liyue was coming to an end, you’d soon be embarking on the Crux to visit the Raiden Shogun and her region, Inazuma, which meant the last few days had been hectic as Zhongli and other residents of Liyue attempted to make the most of your time there before you left.

You’d managed to sneak off and find yourself some time, your head was pounding and your legs ache after hours of nonstop walking, you had originally meant for it to be just yourself - a well deserved break after the last torturous days - but it doesn’t take long for the Snezhnayan diplomat, Ajax, to find you - much to your… in reality, you were too sleepy and tired to try and feel annoyed or irritated.

“Ended up running away, huh?” He laughs, making his way towards you - your figure was almost completely hidden by an oversized blanket in the cushioned chair you laid upon, “You should be more careful, you almost had Lady Ningguang send out a search party for you.”

“Mmhm?” You groan, you vaguely acknowledge his words - your body was exhausted and your mind felt like soft putty; you just wanted to sleep and not wake up for the following week or two.

“They really ran you out…” He muses, a pitiful look takes over his face as he assesses your fatigued state, “Care to make some room?”

He originally meant for you to scoot over so he could cuddle you, it was basically a death wish - if Xiao or Scaramouche found him snuggled up to your sleeping he would probably end up dead and floating in the shore of Liyue Harbor by dawn, but it seems like your position is too comfortable or you’re just too sleepy to properly consider better options and instead, you part your legs and nudge him over to sit on the floor between them.

“‘ere.” You lazily motion, before flopping your head against the plush chair once more.

He can’t even tease you, his face is red at the implications - did you have no idea how… how perverted you were making him feel? He knew you probably had no secondary or lewd intentions but you couldn’t just do that and expect him to be okay! Still - he isn’t complaining, he’d dreamed of being in between your legs (in all ways imaginable) for embarrassingly long (to the point he’s sure if Zhongli knew he’d be banned from Liyue), and he only stumbles slightly on his feet as he makes his way to lean between your legs.

“Better than any pillow Mora could buy,” he groans, letting his cheeks meet your thighs, he looks up at your face - you looked so cute, sleepy and yawning, “so nice and kind, letting me rest like this… you’ll make them jealous, you know?”

His fingers trail your skin, taking note of how delicate it felt against his worn out gloves.

You don’t acknowledge his words, your journey into unconsciousness must have been swift, only tightening your grip on his cheeks in your slumber.

“… !” He feels more blood rush to his cheeks, his eyes involuntarily roll back at the feeling of your skin on his as your legs apply a pleasurable amount of pressure against his face - fuck, he wished Zhongli would walk in, so he could rub it in his face.

His hands go to rest on your legs, almost as if begging you to stay there or squeeze him tighter - kill him, he truly wouldn’t mind going like this, but it seems he was too careless and you’re startled awake by his sudden and rough touch.

“A-Ajax? …! Are you okay I didn’t -!”

“Of course not,” he breathes, trying to hide how much he enjoyed the location and situation he found himself in, “you should rest, I’ll keep watch so they don’t bother you.”

“But don’t you want a pillow or to move somewhere more comfortable?” You ask, afraid you’d hurt him and slightly embarrassed at the predicament.

“No, it’s okay,” he laughs, never once parting his cheeks from your thighs “if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” you reassure, thinking for a second before smiling down at him, “t-thank you for keeping an eye out.”

“Now, don’t worry and rest,” he smiles, patting your legs and you take it as a sign to head back to sleep - you’d need to make the most of any shut eye you could get in the next couple of hours, “to help you like this… is my pleasure.”

And it really is.

Miles and Deku would be best friends! I know it!!

Anyway adults saying “I don’t know isn’t an answer” is part of the reason I learned to lie and bluff so well.

HIIIII I LOVE YOUR WORK SM THEY MAKE ME CLAW AT THE WALLSSS (they make my pinoy heart SING so tysm for writing these 💥💥💥)

ANYWAYS Can i request a Hobie Brown x Filipino!Reader, where she brings him to like a family gathering (Maybe like a Manny Pacquiao party) And he’s like having the time of his life- like he has a plate full of food, jamming out to karaoke with his guitar, and like he’s playing with the Readers little cousin and he’s like spinning them around on his arms they’re calling him “Kuya Hobie”?

TYSM 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

HELLO PO, omg i'm so happy to hear that <:DD aLSO THIS IDEA IS SO CUTE WAIT...... ik i said i'd be on a break but this request was too cute NOT to do >:))

kuya hobie brown

your family absolutely loves hobie, he's practically a part of the family now. they love how carefree and loving he is, and the adults love how well he respects your elders--doing the "mano po" whenever you introduce him to someone older, but always remaining friendly with whoever he's talking to. towards your cousins, he's their role model; he doesn't blindly obey what he's told, and will make his own way if he has to. in short, hobie gets along with all of your family, and you couldn't be any happier that he does.

"i cannot emphasize how chaotic your family is," hobie tells you as he wraps your hands in his own. he turns to you, grinning widely, and with his other hand, he brings it up to caress your cheek. "this might sound really crazy, but i feel at home here." he said as he leans in close to press a kiss on your forehead. you giggled at his show of affection, and you could've sworn a couple of your titas saw you two, pointed, smiled and started giggling and whispering to each other. one had their phone out, ready to take a picture of the next sweet moment you two would share, but you took hobie by the hand and got out of the adult's area and to the kids' area, where no one would bother you two.

"pasensya na, ha, my family is chaotic, though... a little nosy." you admitted with a bashful and awkward giggle. hobie grinned, he held you close as you two walked over to the living room, where your younger cousins were playing video games and with toys, and as always, screaming.

"i've dealt with nosies a lot of the time, i do like your family, still. and you already know i love you a whole bunch." he beamed as he kissed your cheek, which caused you to break out into a wide smile. your younger cousins witness hobie kiss you, and immediately, every single one of them squealed and screamed. they teased you two in the classic, elementary style tease, "they're sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" they'd exclaim, and you'd threaten to change the wifi password on them if they kept doing that. hobie was still very happy to hang out with you and your younger cousins, they were a delight to him.

he already had experience babysitting mayday, so he knew all the right and effective tactics to use to entertain these kids. you watched as he went over to a couple of your younger cousins who were playing with action figures and dolls, and he asked them if they've ever seen an action figure of the coolest spider man in existence. they claim they have, but hobie told them that's impossible, because, "i am the only one in the whole multiverse who has him." he said with a smirk as he showed the kids his handmade figurine of himself, which you looked at in awe.

the kids flocked together to see the figurine of him, and when they told him they've never seen this spider man before, he chuckles, and tells them, "oh, you haven't?" you have to hit him lightly on the arm to get him to stop while he's ahead. "delulu kasi yang kuya hobie ninyo, akala niya siya si gagamboy." you joked, to which he responds by playing with his figurine and telling you he'll save you from the killjoy monster that's about to eat you up!

the kids really loved hobie, they insisted on doing karaoke, and though hobie wasn't very excellent at the singing, you took over that department for him, with him playing the guitar. the kids loved your performance together, and he even taught them how to play basic chords. as the day was ending and a lot of your younger cousins had to go, one of them in particular ran up to hobie as their parents were reminding them it was time to go.

"oh," hobie would say in surprise as the kid ran up to him and hugged him, "mamimiss ko po kayo, kuya hobie." they'd say as hobie would hug them back. "aww, i'll miss you two, little fella." he replied. "can we do it again, po?" they'd ask hobie, and before you could ask what 'it' was, hobie agreed. "alright, here we go!" he'd exclaim as the kid placed their feet on his, with hobie holding the kid's arms tightly, spinning them around and around with his heels as they giggled.

you wasted no time and grabbed your phone to film this beautiful moment, your younger cousin kept giggling and calling hobie their 'kuya', to which hobie's smile grew wider and wider. you smiled just as wide to yourself as you stopped filming and encouraged your younger cousin to go home after the probably thirtieth goodbye.

"they really do love you, hobes." you said as you took his arm in your own. "and i really love them, too. they're so sweet, and you... really have a soft spot for them too, don't you?" he asked you with a teasing smile. "well... i'm their older cousin, of course i do. kahit na lalamunin na ako ng KJ monster... you save them and me from it, aking gagamboy." you teased him as he kissed your nose, wishing he could be with you and your family, seeing your younger cousins' happy smiles every day.

a/n: AKING MINAMAHAL NA KUYA HOBIE 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 I HOPE THIS WAS GOOD, i wanted to write more about it kaso i wanted to emphasize how sweet hobie would be with the kids, LIKEEEE, HE IS THE BEST KUYA EVER

The 'I got to travel to another world and got an existential crisis / trust issues' duo.

Some apocalyptic nyc postcards I’ve been working on. Now I actually need to get them printed as postcards lol