— MARRIED FOR 24 HOURS, COMMITED FOR LIFE ! Crackfic / Gender Neutral Reader / Shitty Writing / Multi-characters

if you fuckers do the skeleton war shit again this year we’re deleting the website for real

Boo I love your writing I wondered if I could request a chubby s/o with the Headwardens

You can call me Shroud Anon because I might stick around to enjoy your writing

welcome, to the rabbit hole shroud anon 🙏 I'm so sorry if this isn't that well made, I'm not good with chubby s/o's but i tried my best!!

concept: housewardens with chubby, shy gn!s/o

characters: riddle rosehearts || leona kingscholar || azul ashengrotto || kalim al-asim || vil schoenheit || idia shroud

disclaimers: reader is gender neutral || yandere themes || not proofread

𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

he knows that you're very mindful of your weight, but does that stop him from loving you? hell no

if anyone was to ever make fun of you for his weight, its off with their heads, except they go missing and are never found again

very possessive and wants to protect you from literally anything, softly whispering sweet things while caressing your hips, making sure you're comfy with every move he makes (nothing suggestive he's js tryna make u happy nd comfy)

he loves feeding you his homemade treats, even though you try to refuse. they're just so yummy and filled with his never-ending love for you

he loves wearing your clothes, they're so soft and big, and they smell just like you! being so close to his darling and even being able to wear clothes they wore, he gets so fuzzy inside

please spoon him he literally goes all red and hot whenever your skin touches his. he also likes watching you sleep, not to be weird of course he just loves the way you breathe knowing you're his!

𝐥𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫

you're his human pillow, there's no doubt he just pulls you with him to the botanical garden and just sleeps on you.

he's very possessive and doesn't let you socialize with anyone if he's around, you're for his eyes and his eyes only

sends anyone to the hospital once they made fun of you're weight. so it can just happen that he's whispering compliments into your ear while inside he's boiling with anger and scheming his next move

he's very touchy he loves caressing your curves whenever he has the chance it's scary that whenever you space out you suddenly feel hands on your curves

only he's allowed to do that though, why? quite obvious, if they did that to you, what will they get in return? a boat ride to tartarus.

he loves tracing his fingers across your stretch marks, he loves being so close to you that he's allowed to do this, making you feel comfy is his specialty after all

𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨

he loves having you sit on his lap while he does your guys' homework in his office, he doesn't care if you think you're too heavy, he'll make sure you know that he loves you

he loves baking with you, you can't seem to refuse because he always uses his crocodile tears, who would say no to a puppy-like octopus?

jade scolds him to not feed you snacks from the kitchen or else there'll be no food to serve the customers, but does this man care? no. if its for his love he'll do anything.

with anything i mean literally anything, he'd send the tweels to watch anyone who gets too close to you, he's not being creepy or a stalker, right?

loves to carry you around cus he basically loves your weight, its perfect. he likes using you as a pillow too, cus you're just so soft and cute!

he's very insecure about his childhood, but that doesn't stop you from getting info from the tweels. in the end, he comes clean and you two have a nice and comforting talk about it

𝐤𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐥-𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐦

he's such a sunshine, he's unbelievably good with words and just loves you so much !!

once he finds out you're insecure you cannot believe the number of compliments he gave you that day. you almost cried like three times

he doesn't like you getting close to jamil, he gets that he shouldn't have to worry because you've said 10000000 times before that you'll only love him. BUT does kalim listen? no

he'll do anything to make you stay with him forever and ever, he trusts you but at the same time he can't help but feel jealous every time he sees you with another person

whenever he sees you smile, he just gets butterflies in his stomach. but whenever you smile at someone else? rest in peace to them they won't be seeing the light of day ever again

he likes pinching you and then telling you how cute you are, and he will not stop doing this every other minute

𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐭

he still thinks you're beautiful, and whenever he senses that you're feeling the slightest bit insecure about yourself, he goes batshit crazy and lectures you for hours

he loves how obedient and still you are when he's doing you're makeup. you're just so cute he wants to squeeze you

he keeps you a secret, the relationship only exists behind closed doors. but i promise he really loves you so much! he just hates how people would stare at whatever his

he's addicted to you, he adores you and he wants you to know he doesn't care about your weight, you're perfect, beautiful even, he can go on for hours about how much he loves you

has a photo album of you where he points out every beautiful part about your body (literally your whole existence) (inspired by rook)

he would buy you literally anything. mention a necklace, clothing or a game? boom he already bought it for you.

𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝

he's not good with words he knows that, but for you? a simple hug and multiple i love yous is already enough

he likes associating you with songs, this man would literally stare at your pictures and listen to that very song for hours

he loves physical touch so there's no doubt he gets all warm and happy inside when he has permission to squeeze you out of your body

he loves it whenever you spoon him, he just feels so secure and safe within your scent it makes him crazy. he also loves your body weight so fucking much this man would begs for you to lie down on him.

"why is your partner so-" "183.31.75.65, gray roof, 26th of august, 2 siblings, blood type ab, I'm coming to your house."

he loves seeing you so confident in cute outfits, he'll literally hype you up so much, he's just super happy you're happy with your body

𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚

you're the most beautiful person this man has laid his eyes on and he makes sure that you know exactly that he absolutely worships your body. rubbing your stomach every time he gets the chance or squishes your belly when you're passed out in his arms he would turn the whole school upside down to find exactly which asshole filled your mind with negative insults to your body and give him the most painful and burning sensation ever for hurting his dear he loves how your shirt lifts up and reveals your cute stomach whenever you try to rub his horns, it makes him so blushy he loves to randomly pop out of a corner and surprise you with a gift or two, he just loves seeing your smile so much he loves to massage your back after a long long day of lectures and learning, its literally his few minutes of heaven when you praise him for doing it so well

this took me so long omy

oooooo, I’ve never read that fic of yours that you just posted a link to. soooo good! now I’m thinking about the brothers flipping off michael (literally and figuratively) in a letter/picture back to him and michael just sat there pouting like a child being told ‘no’ for the first time.

*mwah* you’re the best

Continuation of this, Michael design borrowed from @stulili 

tw: swearing, poly MC

-

"Okay~ Everyone's in!" Asmo positioned his phone and set the timer for the photo.

"Oi, middle fingers up!" Mammon elbowed Belphie.

"They're up!" He groggily responded as Asmo rushed to lay in front of the group and add his own middle fingers to the mix.

"Say, Fuck you, Michael." Lucifer said as the timer clicked.

"Fuck you, Michael!" The group resounded. After the click, Asmo rushed back over to the phone to catch the polaroid it spit out.

"MC, did you write the letter yet?" Beel hovered near you.

"Not yet. Any ideas?" You moved to a nearby table and the brothers all crowded around you.

"Tell him to fuck himself." Belphie mumbled.

"He's a rat bastard and we hate 'im!" Mammon chimed in.

"Oh, let's send him a copy of: I Never Wanted To Go To Heaven Anyway So God Really Just Needs To Fuck Off." Levi pulled the manga out of nowhere.

"Don’t forget to decline the offer.” Satan tapped at the page. 

“Calm down, I’ll get there...” You began to write on the page.

Michael,

While I appreciate the offer, I have to decline. Perhaps your invitation would have seemed more sincere had you given it to me in person. On behalf of my boyfriends, seven brothers I think you’re quite familiar with, fuck you.

I have everything I could ever want here in the Devildom. Give my regards to Simeon and Luke, I hope they visit soon.

MC

Michael’s face while reading:

“Eyes” by Karl Sisson.

throwing my gabi into the fray. the cooler o'hara

mk and mei sleepover (gone wrong)

I CAN'T ANYMORE!!!, I HAVE TO ASK IT!!!, I'M SORRY FOR THE SPAM IN THE X READER TAG

Why do you make characters like Miguel or Miles call the Reader "mami"? Is it something Latin American I'm missing? is because I saw the movies in spanish? Anyway, thats NOT the problem, the problem is... DO YOU ONLY KNOW THAT WORD OF ENDEARMENT???

I know what it means. I am Spanish (but, from Spain, specifically). I SPEAK SPANISH. But you will never hear anyone in Spain call someone affectionately mommy or daddy... UNLESS they are married and have children.

Side note, none of you are as bad as you think with Spanish, but you may have problems with the gender of words (understandable, English is more gender neutral one of the few things I like about it, but in Spanish, the masculine form OR ENDING IN "O" it is Usually generalized as neutral too, but not always).

Cariño = all genders (dear)

Cariña = congrats, Inhabitant of a Latin American town, not to be confused with carina.

cielo = literally sky (yo never sais "ciela")

Bolita= small ball (is cute, to chubby, rounded people, BOLITO, is NOT a word, bolita goes for any gender)

churri (I don't know how to define this, but it's affectionate, something old-fashioned)

amor= love

bicho= bug (to be fair, you can say bichito, bichita, aca little bug)

caramelito= little sweet

bombon= bonbon

With gender (for those who are interested, first male, then female)

querido, querida (dear)

canijo, canija (something like a dwarf, little one but affectionately)

principe, princesa (prince, princess)

rey, reina (king, queen)

guapo, guapa (beautiful)

lindo, linda (cute)

nene, nena (baby, coloquial)

pitufo, pitufa/pitufina (Smurf/smurfette, more familiar appellation, but it is said and yes both word works in female)

muñeco, muñeca (doll, the last one also means wrist)

Almost always add "mi" (my) to power it up

Hi new follwer since poly is allowed. May I please ask for a scenario or headcanons with poly mc and the brothers reacting to angel trying to ‘save’ them and but mc is not having it please?

uhh this is formatted kinda weird as a warning. sort of a scenario/hc hybrid?

tw: swearing, poly mc

-

A gilded and blessed letter arrived at the House of Lamentation addressed to you. After school, you were just hanging out with the brothers in the living room as usual. You unsealed it to find a message from the Celestial Realm.

Dearest MC,

I’m writing to invite you to a year of student exchange in the Celestial Realm. It will begin with a purification ceremony since you will be coming directly from the Devildom. Simeon and Luke will be your escorts, and we have designated several caretakers to help you over the course of the year.

I hope you consider our offer seriously. You will be the first human to set foot in our land in a long-term capacity.

Blessings,

Michael.

“The fuck…?” you mumbled, the brothers all turning to you with curiosity. 

“What’s that?” Mammon grabbed the letter from you, immediately recognizing the fancy calligraphy. “Michael?!”

“What does he want with you?” Lucifer hissed. 

“They offered me an exchange program.” You stated as the brothers all hovered around you.

“Well, you’re not gonna do it, right?” Belphie mumbled.

“What’s a purification ceremony?” You asked without answering the question. Half of the brothers’ faces went white like they’d seen a ghost.

“It’s a ceremony where they… absolve you of sins. That means our pacts would break and you wouldn’t be able to come back here.” Satan responded. 

“Oh.” You took the letter back from Mammon and glanced at it briefly. “Fuck that.” You nonchalantly ripped up the letter, tossing it aside.

Lucifer felt a wave of relief wash over him. In fact, your reaction was exactly what he would have hoped. He couldn’t help thinking this was an incredible opportunity you were passing up but his pride swelled with the knowledge that you chose him and his brothers over that. He would find a way to make your stay worthwhile.

Mammon nearly cried at the idea of you leaving him forever, so he immediately put an arm around your shoulders. “That’s right, MC, stick it to ‘em!” His heart swelled with joy when you ripped up the letter, although he probably could have fetched quite the price for something handwritten by Michael down here. He's probably going to try to salvage it and sell it later.

Levi did cry- when Satan said the pacts would be broken, he immediately assumed the worst and began having a depressive episode in the corner of the room. “I’m j-just a yucky otaku… MC won’t stay for me…” he said as his lip quivered. 

“Levi, I’m staying, don’t worry.” You whispered, patting him on the back.

“Oh, you mean this is just like the plot twist in God Asked Me To Come Over But I Said No And Now I Have To Explain To My Mother I Have Seven Demon Boyfriends??” Levi began babbling on about the anime.

Satan thought going to the Celestial Realm would have been a great opportunity had it not included never seeing him again. He was sure Michael just wanted to knock your power down a peg but there was a moment where he wasn’t sure if you saw through it like him. He was prepared to talk you out of it, of course, but he was very comforted to know that he and his brothers were important enough to you to decline the offer. 

“Oh my GOSH, MC, don’t scare me like that!” Asmo draped himself over you. “It’s bad for my complexion to get worried, you know!” He nuzzled into you, feeling a need to be as close with you as possible even though you’d be around for a long time. His heart broke when you didn’t answer right away but when you ripped up that letter you were almost ten times more attractive than before.

Beel smiled. He was a little nervous you might go to the Celestial Realm, they have a lot of great food up there and if you were living with Simeon and Luke you would get to eat their cooking all the time. He wouldn’t blame you if you went, although, it would have made him very sad to never see you again. But he felt so warm and happy that you wanted to stay with him and his brothers- you’re family too, after all.

Belphie was ready to tear up that letter himself if you had considered the option for any longer. As the youngest, he almost always gets what he wants and he was not going to allow you to leave him like that. Not for the Celestial Realm. He will probably say something sweet to you later when no one else is around but for now, he’s going to take a nap. That drained a lot of his energy.

owww. owwwuh. fuck. wait. *pulls out* theres a damn rock in your pussy man.