ALT

he’s a babygirl he’s a failwife he’s a losercore dumbass and he’s the most love-filled man to ever exist

HI IM KINDA TO SHY TO ASK THIS BUT- can i request for some headcanons with ghost, soap,price,gaz, Alejandro and maybe add könig with a male reader who has childhood trauma and social anxiety and when things get really quite reader starts to cry or have a breakdown and gets bad memories of something like that? Idk if it makes sense sorry bout that (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) haha anyways bye love ya sm! <33

[A/n:Love you to man. Thank you for requesting]

Summary:Due to your trauma and social anxiety you will have a break down and get flashbacks if something too bad happens

Type:Hcs: Ghost X M!Reader: Soap X M!Reader: Alejandro X M!Reader: Price X M!Reader: König X M!Reader

Version:Mw2

Price

Dad mode actived

He'll try his best to not put you in stressful situations but since your in the military that's kinda hard

He makes sure that everyone knows you can't handle stressful situations all to well

and if you ever need a break his room is always open

He's there to help you, don't forget that

König

He understands

He also deals with social anxiety so he can't help much there

But since he has it, he knows what helps him do he'll use that to hopefully help you

If not all he can do is put his hand on your back in hopes it'll help

But he panics and thinks that due to his size that he might stress you out

Ghost

He's horrible at comforting people

I'm sorry to break it to you but he can only watch

He doesn't know what to do, due to his trauma he can't help you. The best he can do is awkwardly hold you

Afterwards he'd feel like shit, cause he'd remember ways to help you

In the moment he can't do anything

Soap

He's like Price, great at this

He's on a role, gets you to an isolated place, some water, rubs your back, gently talks you

All the good stuff

He had experience with this kind of stuff so he knows it all

Just comforter unless you catch him by surprise

Alejandro

Along with Ghost, he's not really good at this

He panics and trys to get Rudy to help you, if he can't find Rudy he'll awkwardly pat you on the back

He does his best though, will get you some water and if there's some ice cream, he'll take a second to get you a bowl of it

Seriously, he knows ice cream helps

You make Alejandro panic more than missions make him panic

[A/n:I hope you enjoyed]

Sometimes We Say Things We Don't Mean | Simon "Ghost" Riley x Male Reader | Angst with Comfort

Minors/Fem DNI

Warnings; Alcohol consumption, verbal fighting, decent apologies, hangover, hurt/comfort, this is kinda shite, randomly named character that doesn't matter but they needed a name so 🤷🏻

Request; "reader gets super fucking drunk cuz them and ghost had an argument earlier and they dont know what to do and ghost finds them about to pass out and goes wa wa wa and then they wake up and they hug because ghost thought he was gonna lose them"

A/N; I'm sorry this took so long but for the better part of a month i was like "wtf am i supposed to write for the fight" and then went "ohhh, i can search why couples fight". so work it is!

2.0k words

Y/N leaned against Ghost as he cooked dinner, a comfortable silence between them. He had come home from a long mission, not more than a week ago, and Y/N had missed him the entire time. Now that he was home, they could have gentle moments like this. Ghost could enjoy simplicity in domestic life for a change.

“I like it when you’re home,” Y/N murmured, watching Ghost cook from behind him. His arms were wrapped around his torso as he worked on a soup. “You should stay home more often.”

Ghost’s stirring faltered and he stiffened under Y/N’s embrace.

“I…” He started, grabbing a bowl of mixed spices from beside the stove, “Price informed me about something going on in Eastern Europe… They leave on Tuesday.”

Y/N moved to rest his chin on Ghost’s shoulder, side-eyeing him. “What do you mean by that?”

He didn’t respond, simply swallowing down the uncomfortable feeling in his throat when Y/N pulled away from him to lean on the counter and face him.

“No, don’t ignore me,” Y/N demanded, staring at Ghost, who avoided eye contact at all costs.

“He asked me to go with him and the Task Force to-”

“No,” Y/N cut him off, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean ‘no’, you aren’t going.”

“What makes you think you have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do?”

“I don’t, it’s just,” Y/N stared at his socks as he grew aggravated. “You’ve been home for 5 days. You would leave in, what day is it… Sunday? In one day?” He asked, glancing at Ghost. He had turned off the burner and pushed the pot onto the back burner to settle, turning to face Y/N.

“Yeah,” He responded curtly.

“You think that’s okay? Just, being gone all the time?”

“It’s my job.”

“Well, yeah, I get that, but you can turn this one down. You can spend some more time with me. Price didn’t give you an order or anything, right?”

“That’s not how that works and you know it.”

“I know…” He sounded dejected, embarrassed even. “I just… I miss having you here…”

“I know, but I have to do this.”

“Why?!” Y/N shouted, startling Ghost, who jumped at the sudden noise. It wasn’t often that Y/N would yell. He was rather soft-spoken and understanding, so it was almost scary to see him so upset. “Why can’t you be here?! Just for a few more days, that’s all I want!”

“I-” Ghost choked, eyes scanning Y/N’s face.

“I’m sick of it! I hate you leaving me for weeks on end, months, even, and once you come home it’s- it’s all you talk about! Work! I hate it!” Tears beaded in his eyes as he screamed. “I just- I want you, Simon!”

Ghost stared at him speechless. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to articulate a sentence, for the right words to say that would soothe the ache in Y/N’s heart. Nothing could come to mind.

“You said it was okay when we started dating,” He said, eyes dark. Y/N scowled, hot tears falling from his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“This wasn’t what I signed up for. Being neglected.”

“Neglected? Are you kidding?”

Y/N huffed. “It’s not my fault that I feel like y- you love your job more than me.”

“No, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. It always is, isn’t it?”

“S- Stop it! That’s not wuh- what I meant-”

“No, but it’s what you thought. Listen, I like what I do. You can suck it up and deal with it.”

“I- I know you do, I just-”

“Stop stuttering, for fucks sake!”

Y/N choked out a sob and felt his knees wobble. He puffed out his bottom lip slightly and stared at Ghost with a hurt look. When Y/N was anxious, he would stutter. Ghost knew that he was insecure about that.

“I-” He paused so that he could sound out every word without stumbling over them. “I hate you.”

Ghost twitched, hands flexing around nothing.

“Then leave,” He said without thinking. Y/N whimpered and shoved past Ghost before he could process the words that spilt past his lips.

By the time he did figure out what he said, the front door had slammed shut and Y/N’s coat was gone, his house key still on the hook. He took a shaky breath and walked to their shared bedroom to lie down and cool his head. Maybe a walk would help Y/N regain his thoughts.

“And then- he- he made fun of me,” Y/N sobbed, choking on tears while he drank a beer. “Then he told me to leave.”

“Oh, my god…” The bartender murmured. She was one of Y/N’s close friends, and he always took the bus to get to her bar when he was upset. “What a cunt!” She exclaimed. “I can’t believe you’re dating that bastard!”

“Ally, gimme a scotch,” He said before finishing his beer. “And another beer.”

That went on for some time. Drinking and sobbing and ranting, Ally listened to every word with a comforting presence.

“Do you think…” Ally turned her head from where she was fixing someone a pint of Guinness, “that it’s my fault?” Ally turned back to the glass, placing it down so it could settle, before walking over to Y/N again.

“Maybe a little,” She said, reaching out to wipe his cheeks with a towel that was in her apron. His face was burning hot, and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot. Y/N cried harder at her words, and she continued to wipe them off his face. “But you came from a good place. You should talk to him with a level head.”

Y/N looked at her with snot running down his nose. “He hates me.”

“No, I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, darling.” She walked back to the Guinness to fill it the rest of the way before handing it to an older gentleman who took it with a smile. Y/N watched her as he felt the beginning of a migraine seep through the back of his skull, creeping into his brow bone and making the back of his eyes ache. Beer doesn’t substitute water well, especially when you’re expelling all of it through your face for hours on end. His eyes drooped and his head felt heavy, so he went limp and let his forehead smack against the bar.

“BloodyJesus!” Ally jumped, glaring at Y/N. Her gaze softened at his pitiful figure: an odd bloke, drunk off his arse, sobbing in the furthest corner of the bar. It was a miracle he hadn’t thrown up yet. “Christ, don’t you dare blackout in my bar, Y/N.”

Ally’s phone buzzed in her pocket, and she fished it out to check the caller ID. ‘Simon’. She huffed and picked up, pressing it to her ear and being met with a very frantic Ghost.

“Have- Have you seen Y/N? We had a fight, he left and I- He hasn’t come home yet. I’m worried,” He said. He sounded close to tears if they weren’t already falling. A thick frog in his throat was making him choke on his words.

Ally sighed and looked at Y/N, who had managed to lift his head and reach for his unfinished beer. She smacked his hand away and grabbed the glass. “I’ve got ‘im.”

“Fuck, thank god. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

“What? It’s a 20-minute drive, how the hell are you… He’s hung up on me,” Ally groaned, pocketing her phone and dumping the beer in the sink. Y/N whined at the sight but didn’t audibly complain. Not in English at least.

“Gimme another,” He slurred, leaning on one of his arms. Ally shook her head and tended to another customer, fixing him a glass of whiskey and setting it in front of them.

She glanced at the front door when it burst open not 10 minutes later, slightly peeved at the sudden loud intrusion, and more so at the fact that it wasn’t a regular. Her eyes softened, however, as she saw that it was Simon. He was frantically scanning the room, noticing Ally and rushing over to her before seeing Y/N, utterly ossified and nearly asleep.

“You get this drunk out of my pub,” She said. He nodded and wordlessly helped Y/N up, wrapping an arm around him before deciding that he would fare better at bringing him home by lifting him up. Ally watched as Ghost lifted Y/N up onto his back with ease, piggybacking him.

“Thank you,” He said quietly. Ally shook her hand and shooed him, desperate to get this show out of her pub and back onto the streets where it belonged. As the door closed behind Ghost, one of the men sat at the bar looked at Ally with a confused face.

“What the feck was that holy show?” He asked, leaning forward as if it were a secret.

“Two very sad man-children.”

Y/N woke up in bed with a hangover feeling entirely shattered. He groaned and shrank back under the blankets, burying his face in his pillow to avoid the blinding morning sun.

“Oh my god…” He whimpered, rubbing his eyebrows with his fingers and groaning again. He heard the bedroom door open, but couldn’t will himself to look over to see who it was.

“Good morning,” Ghost said, walking beside the bed and setting a cold glass of water on the nightstand with 3 Dexibuprofen and a Lucozade Sport. “For your hangover.”

Y/N poked his head out of his little cocoon to look at Ghost, who was now crouched down to be eye level with him, his eyes welling up with tears at the stupid, sorry look on his face. Y/N reached out his hand and cupped his face, rubbing his stubbly cheek with his thumb. Simon leaned into his touch, eyes glossy as he looked at Y/N.

“ ‘M sorry…” Y/N whispered. His head was throbbing, but Simon was here in front of him and that was good enough for him. “I don’t hate you…”

“I know,” He responded, cupping Y/N’s hand and moving it to press a kiss to his palm. “You worried me.”

He blinked away his tears and leaned in to kiss Y/N softly, who welcomed it tenderly, holding the back of Simon’s neck. He pulled back and rested their foreheads against each other, gazing into each other's eyes carefully.

“Could you,” Simon whispered, “say that you love me?” His voice cracked at the end, his face reddening slightly with embarrassment as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“I love you, Simon,” Y/N said, leaning in to kiss him again. “I love you.”

“Take your pain killers,” He said, pulling away from Y/N so he could sit up enough to drink the pills down.

A wave of relief washed over his face when he swallowed a mouthful of cold water. It felt as though it went straight to his migraine, cooling his brain that was aching. His eyes finally felt like they weren't going to pop out of their sockets.

Simon watched as Y/N began to relax. He drank so quickly that water dripped down his chin and onto his chest. Simon smiled at Y/N with a certain fondness that was reserved just for him. A smile that only he had seen, or one that maybe Soap or Price would see a glimpse of when thinking of him.

Y/N finished the glass and set it on the side table, wiping his chin with the back of his hand and looking at Simon.

“Will you lay with me?” He asked. He looked tired again, and Simon felt tired, too.

“Yeah,” He said, crawling into bed with Y/N and laying with his head on his chest. “I love you.”

Excuse me...look at he. Thank u

I think everyone deserves to see what my friend made :D

Thank you @truck---freak :}

Hi

A fate worse than death

Summary:Finding out why your call Death isn't as fun as hearing about it

Type:Scenario: 141 + Los Vaqueros X M!Reader

Version:Mw2

~

They were told that you could get your hands dirty. There's been jokes, about how to never mess with you. The people that knew you well watched their tongue and was extra careful around you then anyone else. The people that knew you well weren't scared of Ghost. Price was worried the first time you met Ghost. No one that knew how you fought would spar against you. They should have token the warning. The shadow company knew you, Shepherd knew you, Price, Graves, Alejandro, Laswell, All the leaders you've met. They knew you. Yet, with all that knowledge, knowing why you were called death they still fucked around and found out. Not Price or Alejandro or Laswell. But Graves. You were called Death, and when you hunted someone down people would tell them "A fate worse than death, is heading your way". You were labed as death and it'd be unfortunate to find out way first hand, not just hearing about it, cause when you hear about it, it's not as scary. It'll give you an imagine or a slight unsettling feeling stuck in your stomach for quite some time. A day. A month. Possibly a few minutes, or hours. Or even just a few seconds. But it never stayed long enough to make you permanently scared of someone, or something. So when watching you stand there, still, quiet, angry. It makes you wonder, what are you about to do. When your as well known as you are why would you just stand there. Some people slowly backed away, like Price and Alejandro. Ghost, Gaz, and Soap watched from their sniper positions. Rudy followed Alejandro, staying close behind. Laswall was trying to get insight of what's happening from Price. Graves was no where to be seen. But infront of you was a shadow company, holding his gun to your head, pressing to your head actually. You could see his shaking hands and all he could see were two eyes, that would probably be glowing red if they could. Your eyes said everything for you. You weren't happy, especially with a gun to your head. The shadow knew that he had a chance to run, to be safe away from you. But he didn't take the chance. He left it for his teammates who were long killed, him having no knowledge of that of course. Ghost had his scope on the man's head ready to shoot if needed, Gaz was watching a little closer with his sniper rifle same with Soap. Price didn't know exactly what was about to happen but he knew it wasn't gonna be pretty.

"Shoot him soldier!"

The shadow company soldiers shoulder radio went off, it was commander Phillip Graves. Who currently was watching from another place. No where near where the soldier was.

"You have the shot, Take it!"

Graves yelled again that's when the shadow made a grave mistake(get it?) He let go of his gun with one of his hands to respond to his commander. You seen the flick of regret in his eyes as you grabbed his gun, that was now only held by his weaker hand, and yanked it away from him. Instead of shooting him, you smashed the gun as hard as possible in the cheek bone, completely shattering the said bone. He fell back abit grabbing his face, you took that opportunity to smash the gun down on the top of his head, causing the gun to slightly crash his skull, but not enough to damage him to bad. But you didn't stop there. If you did he could have recovered with minor injuries. But no. You continued to smash the gun against his head until he fell all the way to the ground. Now standing over him breathing heavily you gripped the gun and looked at his thigns. Most people would have just killed him, but you? Your like a sloth bear, you inflict the most damage possible instead of killing. You smirked devilishly before repeatedly bashing his thign bone in, his femur bone the most painful bone in your body to break, also one of the strongest. You beat his leg with the butt of his gun watching as it slowly tore itself apart, his bone breaking more and more with every hit, his blood hitting your clothes, skin, shoes, gun, everything. Price covered his mouth horrified at the sight of blood, even though he's been in the military since he was sixteen he's never seen something like this. Alejandro couldn't look away, he didn't want to but it was hard to look away, and Rudy he stood there, gun at his feet, wide eyed as he thought stared. The snipers on the other hand couldn't see what was happening very well. The shadows screams echoed every second across the trees and large rocks surrounding him. You sudden stopped beating one of his legs but kept the gun digged inside of the area where a bone use to be, you looked in the man's eyes and smiled before moving to the other leg. If he survived, he wouldn't live much longer. You repeated the same process to his other leg this time a bit slower, just so he could feel it more. The shadow could feel his bone caving in on the bottom of his thign, he couldn't feel his other leg but he could feel the cold air hitting the inside of both of his thigns. Feeling the butt of the gun repeatedly hit his thign felt way worse than he could even imagine, his leg was turning to mush as you beat it with the steel gun. If you looked at his thigns with any light you'd see the way his muscle, nerves, veins even have caved in, you could see the way his bone broke and shattered due to direct contact. His muscles just looked like raw, boneless, chicken. A slightly brighter pink, covered in dark red blood causing you to not be able to see the pink muscle. The nerves sticking to muscle and bone as it was beaten done and destroyed by you, his viens also latching on to muscle and bone, just thicker and more noticeable than the white thin nerves. You can't see how all the muscles connected due to it being red gooey muse now. The man was only alive due to the adrenaline and pain running through his body. You backed away a bit and dropped the gun, looking at your work you turned your head to look at the three behind you. Price was horrified, slightly shaking, his hand covered his month as a instant reaction. He was like a deer in headlights. Alejandro had to turn around and throw up a couple time due to the bloody sighting. So he was hunched around a pile of puke turning his best to not turn around or puke again. Rudy had snapped out of it due to Alejandro puking. He had to stay strong for Alejandro.

"P...Please"

You turned your head back to look at the man.

"P..please j...just let me-me go..."

You leaned down and grabbed his hair pulling him up to look at you. Tilting your head you looked the shadow dead in the eyes with a look that could scare the devil. And smirked

"And how would you do that? Mm?"

The man only whined in pain as you dropped him. Chuckling you pressed your foot to the shadows head.

"Aww it was fun, but now it's your turn to sleep tight"

You then lifted your foot, bringing it down at a fast paste, the man moved as fast as he could. Grabbing a throwing knife and jabbing it into the sole of your shoe and foot, you let out a scream and you slightly jumped away from the man, causing him to flip himself around and drag himself. Not caring that the grass, the dirt, and small insects along with bacteria was getting into his busted thigns, getting on his blood, beaten muscles. He was basically rubbing the, still intact, muscles and fibers into the disgusting earth below him. Causing infections and sickness to weld up in his opened legs. He thought he was getting far with slowly dragging himself away, but he didn't know or see you yank the knife out of the bottom of your foot. Throwing the knife into the man's shoulder you grabbed his other shoulder and flipped him back over. Now he could see your face clearly. It was covered in blood, his blood, dripping as the droplets of blood connected, making a small stream of blood to run down your neck and torso, speaking of torso, your shirt and vest were covered, soaked in the man's blood, the bombs, the gun, throwing knife, taser, everything had blood on it. But your expression was pissed, it had a permanent glare, a snarl mixed with panting. He could see your spit that was on your teeth causing a string of saliva to slowly fall from the two teeth. The man looked at your eyes, filled with bloodlust and rage, your eyes had red in them from popped blood vessels. You let go of the man's shoulder and stepped on his shoulder and pushed it down onto the knife until you couldn't press down anymore. The entire blade was sticking out, as his shoulder was slightly being torn apart, the handle of the knife was the only part in the man. He was to stunned by the pain in his shoulder to notice your foot come down, this time a knife didn't stab your foot. You stomped and stomped and stomped on the man's head even after his head collapsed on itself. You didn't stop crashing the man's head in until you felt as though you were done. His skull was crashed, his eyes popped and brain caved in, his teeth fell at the back of his throat as it got smashed into the earth below. You crashed his head like a balloon, it popped and blood went everywhere, the surrounding around was covered in blood, in beaten organs, and hungry insects. When you finally stepped away from the body you limped over to the others not daring to look back at the mess you've made. As the bugs start to eat the man enjoying the fresh and large meal, the others couldn't look you in the eye.

"Shall we get going then?"

You asked with a slight smile as you patted Price's shoulder and Alejandro's back you continued on. You four met up with the snipers who were confused. They couldn't see what was happening since the trees and the other three were covering it, Ghost could kinda see what happened since he was higher up then the other two but still didn't really know. So seeing your cover head to toe in someone else blood, a shaky and wide eyed Price, Alejandro covered in his own puked and Rudy holding Alejandro up, being his own source of strength currently. They were confused, very confused.

"Oh my, what happened?!"

Gaz was very worried and alittle scared, hes never seen his Captain so scared before. Soap could only stare at the people who he thought could never be scared. And Ghost was quiet, he knew you did something, not necessarily to them but infront of them, he knew it was because of you.

"Don't worry about it, we all got a helicopter to catch don't we?"

You said with a slight laugh before limping past them to the helicopter lending zone. The snipers were left confused but either way everyone got to the helicopter on time and went back to the base. Meanwhile Graves was staring at a black screen stunned, quite, as white as a ghost. He couldn't believe what he just seen. No, he refused to believe what he seen. It was from that point on no one who was a witness to what you did could look at you without removing that day, you had scared the Captian shitless and was seen as, The fate worse than death.

~

[A/n:If I'm being honest it's not as gruesome as I wanted. I hoped you enjoyed]

Hey there, could i ask ghostface, wesker, joey and deathslinger when a survivor constatly gets sandbagged and bodyblocked by other survivorw, and do the puppy eyes to see if they spare them?

I love this ask sm <3

Killers when you do puppy eyes at them

Ghostface

You were getting chased and doing good only 2gens remained

You were hit and bleeding bad but you were still hanging in there

You headed to the shack

YunJin pops outta no where and slams the pallet down on your head

You fell back and groaned, clutching your head

Ghostface stood behind you

He was agitated that YunJin did that fucking white ruined the chase

He looked down to see you looking at him with puppy eyes

Instant boner

The way you were on your knees with big teary eyes and lip trembling

He took pity on you and destroyed the pallet and let you free

He killed YunJin and then came after you and then fucked you

Wesker

He was chasing down the halls of RPD

You are doing good dodging him

You tried to vault a window but YunJin who was working on a gen close by vaulted it in front of you

She was uninjured and you were so she fucked you over

Wesker stood right behind you

He just stared down YunJin

The fucking bitch wasn't even getting chased or even an interest to him

You turned around and looked up at him with wide puppy eyes

He softened a bit and took pity (he loves you <3)

He went after her and slammed her against many walls and then hooked her

Joey

You were constantly sandbagged by Meg everytime you were in a match with her

You don't know why but she just did not like you

Joey has seen this and felt bad

Especially when you made puppy eyes at him when it happens

He always took pity on you (lil softie)

Although he tries to kill Meg, sometimes she wastes him time and he's not able to

But it's the thought that counts <3

DeathSlinger

You were avoiding his gun and doing good

You went to turn into a building to avoid it

But Meg ran in front of you and blocked the entry way

You tried to push her but it was too late

You screamed when his gun hit you and pulled you back

DeathSlinger saw what happened and it irked him

He looked at you who looked at him with big wide eyes

He sighed and let you go

He then went after Meg

I could never understand why that happened but I guess it was because of the black glasses xd

✦Even. More. Incorrect C.o.D Quotes.✦

Y/N, pinning Soap’s arms with their thighs in sparring: Haha! Eat shit, Scotsman! Soap, struggling: FUCKIN’ ‘ELL, The hell is in your thighs?! Y/N: Pure spite and protein, bitch! --

Someone: Hey Johnny. Y/N: Oh, no, only Ghost can- Soap: Oi! Only Y/N & Ghost can pull that off, it’s Soap to you. Y/N: Yeah he- wait me too? *gaaassp* Ohhh is this what favoritism feels like?! Soap: Pfft, maybe! Y/N: I enjoy it a lot! <3

-- American!Y/N: Fuckin’ git, he’s off his rocker, that one. The entire team: … American!Y/N: *dramatically smacks their hand over their mouth* Gaz: *laughing* Was that genuine?! Y/N: AH, I’ve been conditioned! I’ve been colonized! Soap: COLONI-*WHEEZE*

-- Fem Fatal!Y/N: What th- what is this, a spy movie? You want me to infiltrate by being some eye candy?! Laswell: It’s the best option we have. Ghost: I disagree with this. Soap: Me too! This feels real nasty, I think. Fem Fatal!Y/N: *sigh* Fine, I’ll do it. God gave me these tits for a reason, might as well use’em for somethin’. Gaz: PFF-no no, don’t be funny, this is a bad situation.

-- Graves: No! You can’t, cause if you take it- …you’ll be hurting my feelings :((( Ghost: You know, I was thinking about that. And, the thing is…I really don’t care.

-- (In a ride back to base; just makin’ conversation)

Gaz: Do you find boys attractive? Or girls. That’s one what to check, if you’re not sure. Y/N: *chuckles* You think I’m not sure? Y/N: Everyone’s attractive to be honest, even if it’s just something small. Like, some people have really gorgeous hands. Y/N: I don’t know…I’m a little bit in love with everyone I meet. But I think that’s normal. Gaz: …hm, suppose that’s a fair answer…

-- Soap, laughing: You watch it or might just start fallin’ for ya, L.T! Ghost: …would you like to? Soap: Eh-…huh? Simon: Would you like to? Fall in love with me, I mean… Soap: ….well I-…well, yeah. I wouldn’t mind…if you’d let me. Simon: …I’d let you. Soap: Well then, guess that’s it then. Woo me, Si. Simon: I’ll do my best.

-- Someone: I don't need advice from a team of virgin losers. Y/N: VIRGIN LOSERS?! *grabs Price’s shoulder and motions to him aggressively* You gonna tell me you think this man doesn’t fuck for a living?! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?! Gaz & Soap: *for the millionth time trying not to laugh* Price: *he’s not encouraging it but he does look kinda smug*

-- Gaz, on TikTok: Everyone’s always like “Kyle how’d you bag a baddie, how’d you bag that baddie bruh-“ I didn’t bag shit. Y/N picked me up from my neck, threw me over their shoulder and I’ve been on it ever since. (Zooms out to show that he is in fact, on their shoulder) Gaz: And I ain’t got no plans on getting off anytime soon-

(This also works with Soap & Ghost)

-- Y/N: Why’s it always you got mommy issues or you got daddy issues? Me personally? Both my parents got me messed up, the side I pick? Is mine. I ain’t Hannah Montana- Y/N: 🎶but I got the best of both worlds!~🎵 Ghost: *he’s laughing on the inside, I swear*

-- Ghost, on the verge of dissociating: Why be sad…when you can just be ✨g o n e✨ Soap: Si, no-

-- Graves: Punch me. In the face. Didn’t you hear me? Y/N: I always hear “punch me in the face” when you speak, but it’s usually subtext. Graves: *huff* Well I- *gets punched so hard he falls over* Y/N: ….that felt good. Ghost: I’m so proud- Price: Stop encouraging them.

-- Soap, bursting into the briefing room: Y/N got into a fight! (Insert running scene) Price: Soldier, what hap- Ghost, sliding up in front of them: Did you win? Y/N: Of course I won. Ghost: Nice. Price: STOP ENCOURAGING VIOLENCE-

-- Y/N, in a vent above a room: Soap, it’s me, the devil! Soap: *wheeze* Gaz: *trying so hard not to laugh* Y/N: I’m here to convince you to do SIN. Come with me. Steal candy from babies and from small businesses! Soap: *WHEEZE*

-- Y/N, passing by: *does that super flirty “up & down” look* Hey König…~ König: Hallo, guten morgen. Y/N: *smiles and keeps going* König, as soon as they’re gone: *deep breath* Ohmeingottohmeingott *tiny scream*

-- Ghost after being asked about his feelings on Soap: *heavy breathing* ……..nextquestion-

-- Gaz, a menace on TikTok: Batches be on the lookout for Captain Save-A-Hoe, cause he savin’ hoes. Price, minding his business: ? Y/N, dramatically “swooning” in the background: I WANNA BE SAAAAAVED *falls* Price, unaware he’s having a thirst trap made for him: ?????

-- (I think bullying Graves is funny)

Graves: Let me tell you how this is gonna work- Y/N: You ain’t gonna tell me shit. Graves: Listen!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Listen to me!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Shut up, listen to me! Y/N: Suck my dick, you fuck man. Graves: Listen!! Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: You will be here and listen to my ord- Y/N: You’ll be here sucking my dick. Graves: Listen to me, now! Y/N: Go fuck yourself.

-- Y/N: I would rather lead my team into a pit of fire, than have them wield guns for your ignorant usurper cunt of a general. Price: *mans is so proud it’s showing in his chops*

-- Simon: Your eyes are like sapphires…jeez…ahem, that’s pretty corny though, huh? Soap, swooning: No, not at all. Anyone would like it…aha… Simon: …uh…is this- Soap: Working? Oh yeah, thoroughly wooed, sir. Simon: Good, good.

-- Price: Please tell me you didn’t drag the boys into this. Y/N: I didn’t drag Soap & Gaz into this! *insert banging on door* Price: Who is that? Y/N: I think you know.

-- Soap: I wouldn’t wish that ‘pon my worst enemy. Unless, of course, we’re talkin’ ‘bout my enemy Philip Graves. Soap: Fuck you, Phillip(/neg), you know what you did.

-- Gaz: So you have feelings for this person. Just rip the bandaid off. Y/N, with daddy issues: It’s Price. Gaz: *inhales through his teeth* Put the bandaid back on.

-- Y/N: …Ghost? You’re into Ghost? Soap: Mhm…thoughts? Y/N: And prayers, Johnny. And prayers.

-- Gaz: Are you straight? Y/N: *chokes on drink* Don’t ever fucking insult me like that ever again.

-- (Some type of escort mission or somethin’)

Price: This woman wouldn’t know how to fix a broken fingernail. Fem!Y/N: Honestly, you lot have to be the most boorish, crude, pig-headed men I’ve ever met. Price: Hey, I’ve seen the high-bred boys you’ve hung out with, princess. I’m the only man you’ve ever met.

(Insert overly intense sexual tension here)

-- König: How does that even make any- *knife sound* König: *looks down at the knife in his thigh* Did you just- *takes knife out* Did you just stab me? What is your problem?!

-- (I’m only using Alejandro cause the dude in the audio had a slight Spanish accent, mans is definitely a feminist)

Alejandro: It’s not natural for girls to fight. Fem!Y/N: Now it’s not natural for a man to be as stupid as he is tall, but mm. Here you stand! Alejandro, in love: …