(via hardpursespyzonk)
(via jasper2216, jasper2216, say-yes-daddy)
When a woman says “5 minutes”, think 5 minutes left in the fourth quarter and both teams still have all their timeouts.
The first step to becoming smart is realizing that you’re stupid
(via mr-j-id, mr-j-id)
Technically dragons don’t need sharp teeth because they cook their food