Look At This Happy Little Thing.

Checking the List

I have significantly underestimated this scale of this task.

While doing this, I've reconsidered the lizard for now, but I have another idea: Tumblr structure seems a fine place to try writing a "found document" type of story. It's about a corporate lawyer devil in a post-apoc city.

Edit: I may go through with the lizard story.

What a lovely tribute to our beloved sun goddess.

We painted a new Shiranui zodiac piece this year featuring all the brush god constellations!

(Shiranui themself is in front of the Hanagami, but we did paint them. They're still there. It counts)

WLC 7.1: Accidentally Posted Early

With dinner and the stories over, Empress Jevoi rings a phantom bell. "Let us retire then," she says, "As promised, I have agents ready to accompany you to bed, Mum."

Ling feels arms grab onto hers: lithe arms, yet a firm grasp; two people, nearly identical. Ling turns to see one then then the other.

They are a pair of vrow, but subtle traits in the eyes, brow, and ears hint at orc descent. They have a slight green tint to their violet skin,long raven hair, and shimmering yellow eyes. Both are clad in leotards with long gloves and boots and masks covering their mouths. One is in purple, the other pink.

"G'day," says Ling, "Didn't think ya were real."

"I made a promise," says Jevoi. She gestures to the ladies. "You know what to do."

"G'night, Dalini," says Ling as they haul her away, "Got some wizarding to do."

"G'night, Nana," yells Dalini, lifting her face off of her plate. "Have fun with your friends." She resumes sucking the plate clean.

After Ling has been removed from the room, Jevoi sighs. "This was a terrible mistake."

"It's not going to work," says Angustias.

"No," says Jevoi, alert again, "I mean the cake." She points to Dalini jittering about, now trying to eat the plate.

WLC 6.5: Weapon Identification

"To what end are you traveling, Loomy and Bacon?" asks the radiant lady of the pond, looming above the water, staring down at them. The two speak over each other.

"Visiting my bunica," says Loomy.

"Searching for danger," says Bacon.

"Both of these things?" Ms. Aurocor tilts her head, "And nothing more?"

The duo look at each other for a moment, understanding the risky nature of their situation, then Loomy says, "Some kids are missing. Have you seen any come by?"

"No, I have not," says Ms. Aurocor, "But, alas, I have been here nary a week." She sits in midair, crossing her legs. "And of that time, my focus has been inward. Only these discarded blades have stolen my attention, cast into me by parties unknown."

"Can we see them?" asks Bacon.

"Verily," says the lady diving into the lake, "Mayhaps, you can identify their owners." She emerges four swords held awkwardly in her arms.

The iron sword is a straight short-sword with a typical elven hilt, somewhat fancy, but not overly so. This could belong to anyone who could afford a blade.

D: What's a short-sword? L: A big knife. A: Technically, not wrong. They're usually no longer than sixty centimeters and are built to be used with one hand.

The steel sword is a great-sword with a dwarven-style hilt, a weapon for a true warrior. Unfortunately, warriors are common to Rankedge, but someone who lost a blade this well-crafted would surely be searching for it.

D: What's a great-sword? L: Bigger sword. A: Unhelpful, but still not wrong. It'd would be longer than you are tall, Dalini.

Held carefully between the other weapons, so as to avoid direct contact with Ms. Aurocor, the silver sword is a horrifyingly serrated bastard-sword of crude goblin-make; more an instrument of torture than anything else. It is stained with hardened blood. The girls cannot identify its owner, nor would they care to meet them. Yet, still, this may prove useful.

D: What's a bastard-sword? L: It's a b*****d's sword. J: Mum, don't say that. L: What? This bloody bastard-sword belonged to a b****y b*****d. A: It's just a weapon of a very specific size; longer and heavier than one-handed weapons, but shorter and lighter than two-handers.

Finally, the gold sword is a not a sword at all. It is a wave-bladed dagger with an upturned spiked hilt. This weapon is easily recognizable.

A: Silver, I understand, but why gold? L: Gold's a good conductor. Mages are creative.

"That's the sheriff's Tei Zing dagger," says Bacon, "Who could have taken that?"

"Whose to say she didn't drop it?" asks Ms. Aurocor.

"No way the sheriff would've thrown his favorite weapon away," says Loomy.

"Oh, 'his'?" says the lady of the pond, "Then it can't have been; I've only heard two fellows around here. One I know is not your sheriff, and the other I should hope isn't."

"Who are these blokes?" asks Loomy.

"My friend has business around here; he's an educator, of sorts," says Ms. Aurocor, "The other is a svelte ne'er-do-'ell who comes forth, looming around at night. He leaves strange notes and letters on trees. Avoid him."

"Is he dangerous?" asks Bacon, "That sounds important."

"No, he's just... annoying," says the lady of the pond, she retreats, blade in tow, back into her aquatic home, "Good luck, honest travelers."

Game Manual

Here are some some details and pictures from the games' official manuals.

Mikado and her Shainto counterpart Kaun face off.

The manual pairs her with Jo as speed-type. The stats the ladies have are similar with the four swords, but the polearms are a different story. The Shainto spear is Jo's worst weapon, but the Narukagami naginata is Mikado's best. Mikado and Kaun have the maximum speed and power with the big pointy sticks!

Mikado's stats with each weapon, if you're curious are:

Weapon-----Power----Speed

Naginata----22/22----15/15 Same as Kaun with Yari (Jo is 15 and 12)

Broadsword-15/22-----12/15 Same as Jo

Katana-------12/22-----14/15 Slower than Jo

Nodachi-----15/22-----13/15 Much weaker than Jo (18)

Longsword--10/22----14/15 Slower than Jo (Tied for the weakest Char/Weapon combo in the game.)

Notes: The lowest normal power is 10 and speed is 12. NPCs and the secret duo are above the limit. Mikado is weaker and slower than Kaun with all swords except being as fast with the katana.

In the original game, Mikado and Black Lotus (aka Kokuren, aka James, aka Highwayman) are the medium characters. Sadly, I haven't found the character stats in BB1 yet.

Also, that codename: Gate of the God's Descent. That's even cooler than my nickname for her: the Empress.

Mikado and Tatsumi face off, back when she was balance and he was speed.

These scans came from Archive.org, so that's why the text is scrunched like that.

That smartphone is too weak for him. Get that man a Nokia.

Elena... what is Based?

WLC 5.D: Too Cool for Pool

The pool of the ship is a happening place. The fake sun hanging like a disco ball shines loving warm rays all around. There are couples and crowds swimming, relaxing, and playing pool volleyball with a demilich sealed in a magic bubble. (She's loving it.)

Stretched out prone and naked in a beach chair is Luminița. The lycan drifts in and out of consciousness to the waves of the crowds' mirthful sounds. This bliss is interrupted by a shadow cast upon her.

"Take it," says Jevoi, dropping the bag by the side of Luminița's chair, "Where's my tome hidden?"

"What's your rush?" asks the lycan, her eyes refusing to open, "We'll do this after the cruise."

"Or we can do it now, while we're far from everyone."

"Nope, mourning," says Luminița, flipping onto her back, "My bunica was just sent to Hell."

"That's not my fault," says Jevoi, "And she was trying to kill us."

"Trying to kill you," says Luminița, eyes firmly shut, "Besides, you just want me to have the sheriff on my tail for the rest of the trip."

"No, I don't," says Jevoi, kneeling down closer to Luminița, "She has no reason to think you have it, she'll keep chasing me."

"Oi, Ling," yells a withered voice from the pool, startling Jevoi back up, "Fancy seein' you's 'ere."

Jevoi turns toward the disruptor: a decrepit old sea hag with wet leathery skin and in a tiny black bikini. "You're mistaken, miss, but you're not the first."

L: Salica, maybe? J: How am I supposed to know? L: She'd have been like forty; that's not old. J: She didn't look forty; she looked eighty.

"Really?" The hag crawls out of the pool, her seaweed hair dragging limply. "You look just like 'er." She slithers along the ground, limbs desperately trying to lift her water-logged body; her long claws scrapping as her hands search for footing. "You sound just like 'er." Her neck cracks as she twists her head to better look at the gex. Her smile is marred with broken teeth. "You smell just like 'er."

"Not willingly, I assure you." Jevoi steps back, scratching he wig. She looks about and spots, out into the pool, the volleyball game which has seemingly paused. "I think your coven's waiting for you. Shouldn't keep them waiting."

The hag jerks her head around to look, then she swings back. "They'll be- huh?" Jevoi is already gone.

WLC 6.F: One Last Shot

The lycan, Ioana, stands in her nightgown wearing a simple jacket, Ling's wig in hand. "What is going on down here?"

"Oi, my hair." Ling holds up her hands in front of her, inviting Ioana to throw it her way. "Thanks for that."

"Deputy, where are the others?" asks the sheriff, "Also, my knife?"

"I'm the only one, sir," says Tanglepork, saluting, "And it's in the pond, sir."

"Then why didn't you grab it?"

"The fair lady will only give it to its owner: you."

"A man's got to do everything around here."

"Shove it, mate," says Ling, adjusting her wig, "First is the witches. We con-"

"Oh, new guests!" shouts Zingiber, twitching with excitement, Gudrun right behind her.

"Which one do ya want, Doctor?" asks Gudrun, "Ya've earned it."

"The bl'ell are ya spouting now?" yells Ling.

"Wait, who's what?" sputters Tanglepork.

"Deputy, get the men," says Honeycrisp, his nostrils flaring, "I'll handle this brainjacking b***h."

"Ya took control of him?" asks Gudrun.

"Are you throwing us under the cart?" asks Zingiber.

"Officer," whispers Ioana to Tanglepork without looking away from the witches, "I think we need to get out of here."

"What are ya trying to pull, Gudrun?" Ling adjusts her cloak.

"Porky." "Deputy." "Officer." "Gnome." "Little thing." The voices blended together, contradictory commands overlapping pulling the gnome's attention apart in a dizzying cacophony.

BANG

"Oh," says Ioana, stumbling forward, "Why?"

Tanglepork's gunhand trembles as she stares into the hole in the back of Ioana's head. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Yes," growls Ioana, turning to face her attacker, her face contorting savagely, "I do."

"Why did you do that, idiot?" barks Honeycrisp, "You really trying to kill an eldritch witch with a gun?"

"Bl'ell, everyone wait," says Ling, "I talked to your boss, witches. The kids are alive; we can work this out."

All attention turns to the doctor.

"Why would you trust it?" asks Honeycrisp, "The thing's helping these-"

"It said... something that meant it was talking to the kids," says Ling, nervously, "Or, at least, knew them."

"Is this about the brat you're selling drugs to?"

"I'm not selling drugs."

"Right," says Honeycrisp, "Giving drugs to."

"Not the time, Sheriff."

J: Why didn't you ever just use that surgery spell you crafted on her? L: Because she didn't want it? J: ...Valid.

Zingiber interrupts. "Oh, if they're still alive, we can kill them ourselves!"

"The screaming was nice," says Gudrun, fondly, "We can make a whole choir this time."

"Hate to waste that meat," mutters Ioana.

"What is wrong with ya?" yells Ling, "I'm trying to get ya c**ts out of this!"

"If you think I'm letting these c**ts go," yells Honeycrisp, "You'd best be ready to share a grave with 'em!"

"Ugh, so glad my son doesn't talk like this," mutters Gudrun as the doctor and the sheriff resume cussing each other out. She turns to her elven cohort. "Ioana's got the gnome, I'll take Captain Bulls***e, and-"

"Dr. Ling will feed me my own a**e," says Zingiber with a chipper enthusiasm more appropriate for boarding a carnival ride.

"Or ya could try winning," says Gudrun, exasperated.

"Love the confidence, and I will try," says Zingiber, "But she's going to destroy me, just like she did earlier."

The deputy is unfortunately not forgotten in this mess. The lycan looms over her. What they have to say transcends language, visible by a glance: Ioana expresses an intent to eat and Tanglepork expresses a need to change her pants.

And thus, the fight begins.

WLC 6.E: Bull-headed

"Listen fast," says Ling to the still dazed minotaur, "The kids are alive, there's one witch coming, and the second's getting the third. I've infily'ed their coven and ya're brainwashed. Play along."

Sheriff Honeycrisp has several questions. Unfortunately for him, Zingiber footsteps were slowly growing louder. He lies back into the junk pile, feigning unconsciousness.

"Water for the lady." Zingiber presents a chalice to Ling as if it contained wine or nectar.

"Thanks, mate." Ling chugs it immediately.

"Ready to see my work?" Zingiber sways with glee. "My latest I call Marrow Radiance."

"Can ya make him do stuff?" Ling puts the empty cup down.

"Oh," says Zingiber, deflating, "Like what?"

"I was just wondering if ya knew mind s***e."

"That's Gudrun's thing."

"So, she had him blame someone in town, then?"

Zingiber giggles, "Sort of. She let him just pick someone who'd fit."

"Really now." Ling resists the negative urges rising in the back of her mind. 'Think of the kids, Ling,' she thinks to herself.

"Sheriff, walk to the main room," Zingiber commands, "Any ideas, Dr.?"

Honeycrisp rises and stumbles his way out, quietly grumbling all the while.

As the ladies follow him, Ling asks, "I thought coven's shared magic. Are ya all studying extra things?"

"Yeah, the coven stuff is mostly utility: reshaping land, portals, material conversion."

"Sounds like your boss wants a construction crew," says Ling, carefully navigating the misshaped hall, "Any idea why?"

Zingiber shrugs. It wasn't going to be that easy.

"Can ya make the sheriff do cartwheels?"

"Yeah, but why?" asks Zingiber, "I can do soooo much worse."

"Gotta start small, mate," says Ling as they enter the main room again. "If ya do your big evil s***e now, how do ya top it?"

"Point taken," sings Zingiber, "Alright, moo-man, do s-"

"Zinj, I need to talk to ya," says Gudrun, standing by another door. She scowls at Ling. "In private." She looks to the sheriff. "Watch the doctor," she commands.

"Sure, what's up?" Zingiber dances across the room and follows her coven-mate into the darkness.

"Cartwheels, really?" angrily whispers Honeycrisp.

"Ya want her to pull your skeleton out your a**e?" whispers back Ling, "That one's a loon."

"All you b***hes are loons," says Honeycrisp, "Chaotic w***es the lot of you."

"Ya got a f**king problem, mate?"

"Yeah, c**ts like you!" shouts the sheriff.

"Of course, they do, b*****d," shouts back Ling, "They wouldn't hate ya if ya'd stop being a sack of s***e!"

"You diseased s**t!" Honeycrisp steps forward, his figure towering Ling. "Just here to bang the kidnappers."

"B****y f**kwit!" Ling stands as tall as can, glaring into his eyes. "Just mad ya've been saved by a woman; ya hate us so much."

"You barely count as a woman, p***y-sucking lizard."

"Says the cuckold farm animal!"

"What is this language?" asks Ioana, who had slipped into the room unseen.

"Wow," mutters the diminutive deputy behind her.

It definitely sells her animal tamer role.

Her outfit in the latest episode is so 🔥🔥🔥 I had to make a drawing!