AN: I Had To. I Just Had To. And If You Haven’t Watched Tommy Boy, I Highly Suggest It. 

More Prompts

Because I am unoriginal as fuck. The dialogue prompt list was fun to make and I had a lot of fun with answering the asks! Again, I am giving full credit to whoever made any of these aus or prompts.

Our teachers keep pairing us together even though we’re polar opposites, but I can’t deny that you’re really cute.

We’ve been best friends since the fifth grade, so could you please pretend to be my fake (boyfriend/girlfriend) to get this weirdo to stop creeping on me.

Please don’t be mad, but I found a box of stray kittens and a puppy who thinks it’s a cat and now they’re living with us.

I am now the officiant at my best friend’s wedding, so donate money to my unofficial church because I need to pay rent.

You’re really cute and keep ordering black coffee at my shop, but whenever you take a sip you look disgusted. I just wanted to know if you were okay and wanted something a bit sweeter.

We’re both college professors and some students have both of our classes and are now trying to set us up because we both get really dorky and passionate about certain subjects.

I’m a super villain and you’re a super hero. I know we’re supposed to be enemies but would you like to get coffee sometime?

 I know we’re best friends and all, but could you maybe be my date to my cousin’s wedding to prove to my judgmental relatives that I can find love and that I won’t be alone for the rest of my life.

We have to do a group project about ancient Rome and I really don’t appreciate that you’re making me do all the work, so I’m making you buy me food to make up for your douchiness.

You’re my soulmate, so there’s a tattoo on my body where you hate the most and now I’m worried because I have a tattoo that covers my entire upper body.

We’ve hated each other since we were children but here we are pretending to be a couple because my parents want me in an arranged marriage with some rich old guy, and you could even tell that’s fucked up.

Hi, I’m your guardian angel and I can see why you need guarding because who are those guys who were picking on you and how did you get that black eye? But, wait a minute, I’m now in my teens and everything is a mess, and how are you still alive?

You’re the new student and I’m the kid who gets constantly picked on and beaten up because I’m the smartest and I have weird habits and hobbies. Now, you’re defending me for no good reason, but I’m not really concerned with that. What I am concerned with is where did you learn to fight like that because I feel like the government would like to use you as a secret weapon of some sort.

You come from a small town that I’ve probably never heard of and you’re really trusting of people and this is your first time you’ve ever been to a really big city. Now, I’m making sure that you don’t end up dead and politely guiding you around the city, but I’m surprised now because you’re making friends with really dangerous people. Also, how are you now friends with the boss of a really big mafia?

I’m a new demon, and I’m assigned to you. But, you’re really depressed, so instead of making your life worse I’ve made it better. So, now I’m slowly redeeming myself and becoming your guardian angel. Oops.

Our kids are best friends and really want to be siblings, so now they’re pulling a Parent Trap.

I’m really stressed out right now, so don’t question why there are 20 muffins, seven cakes, and about 10 batches of cupcakes.

I will always believe that you are too good, too pure, and too innocent for this world even as you shout death threats in traffic.

We’re both in detention because I punched you for stealing my mechanical pencil, but I also punched you because you’re cute but an arrogant asshole and I just needed a reason to give you a black eye.

You’re my neighbor and we both go to the same university, but you get drunk and throw huge parties every weekend, so now I’m pissed off because I’m trying to study for exams. So could you stop being an asshole during exam week. Thanks. 

Hi there! I just saw you were taking requests and I’m wondering if you could write a fic about Gandalf and a Maiar companion who also was heavily influenced by Nienna and volunteered to cross the sea to Middle Earth with him to thwart Sauron and give Gandalf moral support?

Um.. hi 😳 yeah

First of all, I love this 💕💖💗💕 so thank you for requesting it!!! 😩

I've been wanting to write for Gandalf for a while, but haven't known what to write about :0 so this helps a lot!

Second of all, I am now passionate about writing this and nothing will stop me from making it a series >:)) lmao

I'mma try to load it up with as much lore as i can and make it hecka detailed lmao, so hopefully I can do your prompt justice 😔🙏

If y'all have any additions you want or have any other requests don't be shy! I'd love to hear them :)

Love y'all! Stay safe 🤳💕

-T

Could I request a hc of the fellowship from lotr and/or the hobbit being together with a aro/ace partner? (mostly here to ask for Gandalf since I get aro/ace vibes from him)

You don't have to do this one if you don't want to. I'll be happy if you then could pass it on to someone else who might :)

@tinteaspilled

seems as though we are both resonating at the same frequency.....so you most definitely can! Being aro and ace myself, this is definitely an ask I'm excited to complete :)) I'm gonna make hcs for all the characters, but I'm thinking I'll make the Gandalf one into a whole fic...maybe some other characters as well...so hit me up if want me to include any specific characters!! >:]

-T.👁👁👍

Richard Hayden x Reader Playlist

Author’s Note: Just something I thought I’d throw together before posting some stuff I’ve been working on. I’ve been in kind of a writer’s block, and David Spade was the only person that could get me out of it lmao. Expect more Richard content as well as a Malcolm and Baileywick fic soon! 

Much Love :) xoxo

Superstar by Carpenters (How could I not include this???)

Back in Baby’s Arms by Patsy Cline

And I Love You So by Perry Como

Killing Me Softly With His Song by Roberta Flack

This Must Be Love by Phil Collins

Dance Me to the End of Love by Leonard Cohen

You Were Meant For Me by Jewel

I Love You Always Forever by Donna Lewis

No Myth by Michael Penn

Easy to Love by Sammy Davis Jr.

She by Charles Aznavour

Sex in the City by Hobo Johnson

Hi! I don't know if you take requests from prompt lists anymore, but if you do, can I request from pl #5 with number 4 and/or 14 with Toby Flenderson, please? If you don't, than sorry, please ignore me. Have a great day/night!

Holy crap I've been lacking on this account 😭 Sorry for not posting anything lately y'all, I've been visiting family and dealing with some personal health issues.

I totally take requests from any time period about literally anyone lmao :) Toby is actually one of my favorite characters from the office??? So I've actually got a few fics already started for my boy 😎 I'll make sure to post those along side yours for sure!

Never worry about hitting me up about requests though! There are very few things I won't do, the only issue is finding the time to write them sometimes 😩 but I swear I'm working on them y'all 🙏 patience is key

Thank you for the request and well wishes :)

Hope you have a fantastic day/night as well!! 💕💖

-T.

am i doing this right

  ── ❝ It’s You, Because No One Else Makes Sense❞ ──

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       ✫彡Genre/Prompt: Fluff/Fluff Alphabet

       ✫彡Pairing: Weyoun x (Gender Neutral) Reader

       ✫彡Word Count: Idk man, a lot

       ✫彡A/N: Mentions of trauma, etc. (y/f/c)=Your favourite character

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A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

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With defection came a wide plethora of new foods, ideas, and things to explore for the Vorta. And Weyoun wants to explore every single one with the one he love most: you. 

A few of his favourite activities to indulge in include watching films and trying out new culinary delights. He, of course, has no sense of aesthetic, but with your help he begins to finally understand the simple pleasures in life. 

If anything, when it comes to films, he enjoys analyzing the character’s behaviour so that he can apply his newly gained knowledge to those around him. Whether it has any real life application and truth is something that he will happily figure out through trial and error. 

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B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

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If something is perfect, can someone really pick an aspect to favor over all the others? That’s how Weyoun views it at least. So why should you be any different?

To Weyoun, every aspect of you was sculpted by the Founders; there was not one part of you that was less than perfect and Weyoun intended to prove that point every day. 

Despite that though, Weyoun has a strange interest in your eyes. He read somewhere that the eyes were the gateway to the soul, and to know that he can access the depths of your inner psyche just by gazing into your eyes intrigues him more than anything else has. If your soul was anywhere near as beautiful as your eyes, Weyoun swears that he would fall even more in love with you.

Oddly enough, he is also particularly found of your arms. He knows it’s a weird thing to focus on, but the way in which you wrap them around him makes him feel like the safest person in the galaxy. Especially when his fears begin to dominate his thoughts.

Mentally, he appreciates your compassion and honesty. Before you, he had only encountered those who had their minds made up on how they felt about him. No one tried to get to know the real him and had attempted to look past the responsibilities the dominion had thrust upon him even less. When you came around though, he finally got to experience what it was like for a person to care for and appreciate even the smallest aspects of himself.

And to be cared for and loved in such a genuine way for the first time is one of the most emotional things to a love-starved person. 

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C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

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Anytime you feel burdened by an issue, Weyoun is by your side in an instant. He knows how it feels to be unappreciated and unloved so, if that's something you've been struggling with, he is more than happy to sit down with you and silence those fears. 

Working to make sure you know how much of a priority you are to him is as vital as breathing in his books.

If you have a day where you feel more depressed and apathetic, he has no issue laying with you and taking care of the aspects you feel like you can't deal with. Even if that means calling in sick for you, cancelling both of your appointments, or just helping you bathe.

Being skilled in the art of diplomacy, as well as being educated on all sorts of human issues, Weyoun knows how to deal with everything in a timely and efficient manner; especially when it comes to people. So if it’s an interpersonal issue you’ve been dealing with, he is more than glad to take the reigns and deal with people for you. 

Overall, he can't stand seeing you in pain of any kind. 

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D reams -  How do they picture their future with their s/o?

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Before defecting, Weyoun knew that there was little point in dreaming up a future with you. Although you liked his company, you did not like the company he hung around. And that was something that he knew would keep the two of you apart.

After defecting, he let his inner fantasies run wild. The more he learned about you, your culture, and everything else about you that he could get his hands on, the more he wants to be like the things you love. Anything as long as it meant he could be with you. 

There’s little that he doesn’t want to do with you actually. Get Married? Already bought the ring. Have a child? Don’t even mention it, he’s got time set aside or adoption papers ready as you speak. Up and run away to live a peaceful life by yourselves? The escape pod is ready darling...

All in all, Weyoun just wants to be there for and with you. So your future together is just based on what you and him are most comfortable with; which is usually something of your choice.

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E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or are they rather passive?

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Ever since he defected from the dominion, Weyoun has had a tad bit of trouble being dominant over someone he respects so highly. With those he considered beneath him, it was easy to be dominant. But with someone he loved and basically worshipped? He could never.

He is excessively submissive in a relationship, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. To you, this is a fantastic opportunity to shower him in affection, praise him, and let him heal from the horrific treatment he received at the hands of his 'Gods.' 

It may be a lot different than what he is used to, but after he gets the general feel of it everything clicks into place. 

Only after developing trust in your relationship will he begin to show his newly developed dominant side towards you. And let's be honest, we all liiivvee for dominant Weyoun 😩👏👏

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F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How is their fighting?

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True to his nature and profession, Weyoun is undoubtedly good at defusing situations; your fights being one of them. Though, that also means you two end up having a shockingly small amount of ‘fights’ over the period of your relationship. 

With your sympathetic and compassionate nature, as well as his diplomatic skills, you two have an effortless system devised in order to get to the root of every issue that ends up popping up.

Much like how he was to the founders and his ‘superiors,’ Weyoun is almost too willing to forgive your slip ups and mistakes made against him. And, although this may seem nice, the fact that he accepts any unwarranted judgment towards himself really concerns you. Just like many other traumas from his past, you are trying to help him move past and heal from certain experiences that make him feel inferior and unworthy.

If you two somehow did end up getting into a fight, he is somewhat ruthless with his words. When he reverts back to his old ways to comfort himself, he ends up being cold and calculating; putting himself in a better position so that he can feel safe and keep you at bay. When you both finally realize why he does this, you both make an attempt to heal the trauma and move on. 

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G ratitude - How grateful are they they in general? Are they aware of what there s/o is doing for them?

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Being a born diplomat, he is naturally grateful. He understands the effort and care you put behind things, so he has no qualms with expressing his gratitude towards such efforts. 

Given the fact that he has had to be on the look out for everything his ‘enemies’ did, as well as anything that would make the ‘gods’ upset, he notices every little detail you put into things. This is especially true when it comes to you guys’ relationship; he knows how hard you work to help him heal, and he puts in just as much effort for you day in and day out.

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H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything? 

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Besides the secrets he has to keep for work and other people, Weyoun keeps an open and honest stream of communication between you two. He knows how vital knowledge can be when trying to achieve a goal. Especially when that goal is love. And, in order to experience everything that love has to offer, one lesson he is forced to learn is that of mutual trust.

Quid Pro Quo essentially. 

If you are willing to be vulnerable and trust him, why shouldn’t he be the same way?

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I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

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Being honest, you and Weyoun have both learned something from being in a relationship together. 

For Weyoun, he learned the importance of vulnerability and how not everyone has negative intentions towards him; he can make friends with people AND receive things in return without having to give back. For him, anything foreign was not to be trusted. Everyone had negative intentions and didn’t realllyyy like him. But after you two got together, he learned to heal from those emotional wounds and learned about parts of himself that he never would have under the Dominion. 

On top of that, he learned to let loose and have fun with the things he experiences. Instead of always looking for the practical use of things and attempting to be productive, Weyoun begins to take his time and relax. Something he has, admittedly, never done before. 

On your part, Weyoun was taught you a lot about self-discipline and charisma. He taught you how to not only handle your emotions, but the emotions of those around you. And while others have picked up on the weird, but not entirely unwelcome change in you, they refrain from bringing it up. Especially when there’s a suspiciously intense Vorta breathing down their neck every time they do.

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J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

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Keeping you guys’ relationship a secret came with a lot of things. One of the main ones is having other people hit on you. CONSTANTLY. And while he too appreciates your beauty and personality, he feels as though he is the only one that should be graced with all the secret and vulnerable parts of you. Only he can be with you and know you on an intimate level.

So imagine how awful it felt when he learned that you had friends. The kind that you told loved and respected as well. Oh the humanity; boy is devastated.

Being serious though, he hides his jealousy very well. At first it wasn’t an emotion that he could pinpoint very well; he knew he was upset, he just didn’t know the reason why. 

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K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

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Weyoun is a fantastic kisser. Cannot. Stress. This. Enough. Man’s calculated, educated, precise, and adaptable. Of course he’s gonna pick up on all the little mannerisms you enjoy and prefer. Being honest, Weyoun probably does a plethora of research before you two have your first kiss so that he doesn’t disappoint you. The Vorta have no use for physical affection, so things like this, at first, are very confusing to him. Until he gives it a shot and learns about the benefits of it he’s probably hesitant to try things out with you.

His first kiss with you probably looked something like this:

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L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

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I feel as though Weyoun would really go all out for his confession, but like, in a very subtle way. Weyoun has no prior experience with being in a relationship, so naturally he has to do some research. Especially when he isn’t even sure what emotions he’s beginning to feel towards you.

At first he began to look for signs that you could possibly like him back. Flushed cheeks, nervous tone of voice, longing glances thrown his way, seeming too interested in your conversations and time spent together, literally anything. If you didn’t, then what was the point in wasting time admitting his feelings? Better to avoid it entirely than get outright rejected...

If you do show signs of having feelings towards him he begins to plan his next move: confessing. 

In order to achieve the best possible result, Weyoun researches everything he can on your interests and preferences. He picks the perfect date location, best food options, and even wears cologne that meets your scent preference. Then, he casually asks you if you want to spend sometime together and lets the night unravel itself; everything calculated, but not outright obvious.

When the night hits its peak, he begins to reveal all the emotions that he’s been developing towards you. He explains what drew him to you, how you’ve changed him, and how excited he’s become to move on from his previous lives. All because of your presence in his life.

It shocks you, no doubt, but you can’t help but believe him when he says:

“It’s you, because no one else makes sense. Whenever we’re together, the struggles become worth it and I find that I can only make it through the day when you’re around.”

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M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

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To Weyoun, being able to legitimize your union and show the universe just how dedicated you are to each other would be an absolute dream. Despite his apprehensiveness about it.

Once he learns to trust you fully (which will take a significant amount of time) the first thing he wants to do is ask you to marry him. Since he doesn't have any real friends, and even less people like him, you two have a small wedding on a friendly planet close to Deep Space Nine. You end up having (y/f/c) be your (person) of honour while he has Keevan be his best man. Along with what little company you two have, you both enjoy yourselves to the best of your abilities; having your ceremony, sharing the food you love, and exploring the woodland region you two got married in.

He doesn’t have any traditional clothing to wear from his home planet, so he gets Garak to tailor a purple suit to match nicely with your lilac wedding dress/purple suit. 

Something like this:

Overall, you both have a wonderful day and even better night.

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N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

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Since Weyoun isn’t accustomed to the many nicknames those in the Alpha Quadrant use, he uses those from his own tongue. His favourites include waiyau/waiyauta and zhimata because they’re straight to the point. He knows that no one else aboard Deep Space 9 understands Dominionese, so being able to reveal that you’re his partner and lover in an indirect manner feels amazing to him. If anything, it’s the only way that he can openly admit you’re in a relationship. 

But if anyone asks what it means he just says it’s a term of respect. Nothing too suspicious.

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O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

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When he’s in love, Weyoun doesn’t seem so intimidating. As much as he would like to admit differently, Weyoun is a die-hard romantic. Instead of breezing by stores in boredom like he used to he now stops to peruse their inventory; hoping to find something that you might like. 

Ever since you came into his life Weyoun began to slowly loose the facade that he had previously held together so efficiently. People begin to notice him becoming less focused on manipulating them and more interested in seeing things from their point of view. This boosts his popularity with other people, but also makes their suspicion double. It isn’t until people start realising that he’s in a relationship that they slowly start trusting him.

With you, Weyoun is more carefree and curious. He is free to explore ideas previously foreign to him and feels safe enough to voice opinions that would have been deadly to reveal in a past life.

Weyoun expresses his love in every form possible: written word, physical touch, kind and loving words, and small, but meaningful actions. It provides a welcoming distraction to his hectic life and makes him content, aware that his actions will bring you immense joy.

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P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

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Given his past and current occupation, Weyoun is reluctant to release the status of your relationship to the public. His natural possessive instinct wants to show everyone that you are his and no one else's, but reality prevents him from doing this. If one of the countless enemies he made over the course of his lives decided that they wanted to seek revenge on him, what’s stopping them from using you as leverage?

As strong as he knows he is, seeing you get hurt would break him. Which is why he tries so hard to keep your relationship private. 

‘What other’s don’t know won’t hurt him’ is something that he lives by.

He is, by no means, shy to show you the affection you deserve, but he is scared of the repercussions it may have. So, instead, he does small things to show that he cares.

A smile when your glances meet across the room, a hand on the small of your back when he manoeuvres around you, pulling you into a dark corner to sneak a kiss- y’know, small things.

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Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship

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Weyoun is very direct and calculated with everything that he does, so your relationship is no different. His directness and decision making abilities aid in the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of you guys’ relationship; making it so that you two never get bored, upset, or unsatisfied. 

The conversations that you two have are heartfelt, interesting, and always honest. He never wants you to keep secrets from him, so why would he keep secrets from you?

Additionally, with him knowing almost everything about anything, he knows all the best places for you guys’ dates as well as the best locations to purchase things from. Which saves you both time and money in the long run (yet another important aspect of a relationship)

And when it comes to getting physical....well, at least you can rest easy knowing all your needs will be satisfied- in the best way possible.

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R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative? 

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There’s no doubt that Weyoun is one charismatic Vorta. He was a diplomat for a reason y’know. 

The man oozes a suave persona. (Albeit an infuriating one) But it’s one that captures your attention and keeps it over a long period of time. He knows just enough psychological techniques to keep you interested, and is unique enough to get you to keep coming back. And though he may not be an expert when it comes to being in a relationship, the little eccentricities he elicits from you by just being himself brings you back to a time where you were free to be your authentic self. Which is something that is far more lovely than a bouquet of flowers.

(Which is something that he also get you a lot of. what can he say though, you can’t beat the classics)

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S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

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If there is one thing that Weyoun respects, it’s ambition. While in the Dominion, Weyoun was exposed to some of the most driven and ambitious people in the galaxy. They had a goal and would do anything to achieve it. 

So if you have goals that you are set on achieving, he is all for helping and supporting you. Even if it means manipulating the system and the people in it to get you there faster.

He just wants to see his lover live their best life :)

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T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

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Weyoun, to a fault, is a man of deep caution and habit. Although he gives off the initial impression of being a people pleaser, Weyoun is actually very sceptical of anything that messes with the status quo. Especially when it comes to being vulnerable with another person. 

That being said, Weyoun does not require anything new to happen in your relationship to be satisfied with it, but isn’t entirely opposed to any ideas you come up with. You just need to work your way to those ideas in a slow and calculated manner.

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U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

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With the amount of lifetimes he had to live, added onto the importance of his job, Weyoun had developed an impressive memory. Which definitely came in handy in you guys’ relationship. 

Important dates? Memorised and planned for accordingly every year. Preferred love language? Picked up on and provided 24/7. Favourite foods? Given to you often and bought frequently. Having a bad day? Immediately sensed and dealt with with care. 

In summary, this man has the ability to not only the perfect companion and employee, but lover as well. 

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V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

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Having been in no relationships before you, Weyoun puts careful consideration into who he gets involved in. And, as a result of that, he holds his relationships in high regard. You have been with him for as far back as he can remember after boarding Deep Space Nine for the first time. Something that he does not take for granted. 

Before defecting, he respected and valued you as much as an associate could. After defecting though, he began to realize that his feelings were much more than just respect and admiration. Instead, he finds that he cannot get through most days without hearing your voice or seeing your face. All in all, your relationship becomes one of the most important things in his life. Even if he’s dying, the only thing that’s on his mind is you. Not his general safety or if he’s gonna be okay, but YOU.

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X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

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When it comes to public displays of affection, Weyoun is 50/50. If you two are in a relatively private area, he is all for slipping his palm into yours; caressing it while he thinks up strategies for new projects and assignments. Affection and flattery is one of his many skills- something that he prides himself for with you. When it comes to public areas though, he is somewhat hesitant. He has made a plethora of enemies through his various lives and it has made him cautious. There is no way to know if they will come after you, but all he knows is that he isn’t willing to take any unnecessary chances. 

With friends and acquaintances around though, he is slightly less afraid to praise you and show small bouts of physical affection. 

When alone, he gives one-hundred percent in affection. Curling up next to you, cuddling, holding hands, running his fingers through your hair, rubbing your back, literally no form of physical affection is left undone by this man.

His favourite way to show his love though, is cuddling. And while he claims to prefer being the big spoon we all know this man would absolutely melt if you held him.

His favourite position would have to be this one though:

He just feels so loved and appreciated- as if he is finally safe after all the years of stress and paranoia.

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Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

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Although he can maintain a very convincing facade, Weyoun has his occasional slip ups. Which surprises a large sum of people when it happens.

From the time he was still under Dominion rule to the time that he defected, you remained, unwaveringly, by his side. And when that sense of security and stability is taken away, he tended to get excessively antsy. 

To cope, he reminisces over the photos and videos you took together and by calling you whenever you are able. 

The poor boy just misses you so much and mopes around your shared quarters until you return. 

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Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

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Once given a chance to experience what being in a real, healthy relationship is like, Weyoun would not be that willing to give it up. Give you up. He’s lied, cheated, manipulated, and killed for less. So imagine what he’s like for the person that he’d risk dying for?

All in all, there are no depths that Weyoun wouldn’t stoop to in order to maintain your relationship together. Nothing left to say.

Hey, Hey, L I S T E N

here, on this blog, you do not need permission to slip into my asks. just do it. even if we haven’t interacted before. even if you’ve sent 10 already. send me more. i love getting asks (in character or out of character) and yeah, i’m slow as fuck, but i promise you i will get to them. have at it, fill my inbox with memes or impromptu starters or just tell me how your day is going. it really doesn’t matter. just go ahead and do it. i promise, i don’t get annoyed seeing the same people in my inbox, actually it makes me happy because yAY MORE INTERACTIONS. so just do it.

❄️ Snowball Fight

Prompt: ‘Snowball Fights’ 

Requested by: @livenerdyandprosper​

Pairing: Hawkeye Pierce x Gen!Neutral Reader

Triggers: None; just some shenanigans        Words: 1,068

M*A*S*H Taglist: @thatadroitgeek and @meganlpie

Note: For those who have maybe never seen MASH and are reading this anyway; yes, Frank really is this stupid in the show lol.

With a sharp intake of breath you left the post-op building immediatley being smacked with the cold air around you; small snowflakes continuously falling around you, adding to the piles of snow around camp. 

Getting to The Swamp, you flung open the door and quickly made your way inside, where you saw Hawkeye bundled up while writing a letter. Glancing up he smiled when he saw that it was you.

“Ah, if it isn’t my own personal heater” he greeted as you got closer to the stove to warm up. “I’m writing a letter to my dad, want me to say anything for you?”

“Yeah, ask him to send some sunshine.”

Hawkeye smiled as he finished his letter before setting it aside “Ready to go get some food, or whatever it is that’s in the mess tent?”

You nodded your head before turning to follow him out “How long until you go on duty?”

“In about an hour” he replied as he opened the door, both of you exiting while immediately retreating into your own coat collars to avoid the cold breeze.

As you began walking towards the mess-tent you stopped in your tracks when Frank came marching past, yelling at an orderly about something he was most likely doing right. You rolled your eyes as Hawkeye scoffed “With how much Frank shivers in the cold I’m surprise he can still talk” 

“Frank would march through a blizzard if it meant he could pull rank on someone” you muttered as Frank continued to chastise the corporal. 

“I think Frank needs to be put down a peg” Hawkeye muttered before glancing around, his eyes landing on a pile of snow by a tent. 

Walking over he made a large snowball before winking at you and then chucking the snowball as hard as he could at Frank; smacking him in the back of the head. As he yelled out in surprise, Hawkeye immediately feigned innocence by looking around confused, you immediately doing the same, knowing where he was going with this.

Frank turned and yelled “Hey!”

“That wasn’t me Frank, I’m pretty sure that came from over the hill!”

“Maybe some enemy soldiers’ guns froze up, now they gotta throw snowballs” you mused out loud.

Frank looked around panicked “Enemy soldiers? That would make sense, they’d do anything to get at us!” he rubbed the back of his head “I think there was something hard in that too! Do you think it was a bullet?”

“Oh I wouldn’t put it past them!” Hawkeye spoke with fake anger as Frank looked more panicked before running off towards Potters office.

You chuckled as you watched him sprint away as Hawkeye laughed “What a putz!” he looked back at you before he began to walk away.

Getting an idea, you quickly made up a snowball in your hand before throwing it; smacking Hawkeye in the upper back. He stopped in his tracks before turning back at you. You looked around in surprise “Wow, those guys sure have good arms!” you joked.

Hawkeye chuckle as he took a step towards you “Ah, so I see you have chosen war?” 

You chuckled nervously as you backed up “Maybe not.”

He quickly grabbed some snow, as you laughed, before dodging the snowball. Grabbing some snow you quickly turn around and chuck it at him. 

After a few minutes; you hear a laugh from nearby catching yours and Hawkeye’s attention; seeing BJ leaning against a post as he smiled that the two of you “Oh please, continue, I’m loving the show.”

You and Hawkeye shared a look before both of you turned and hurled snowballs at BJ. He yelled in surprise as he tried to dodge them; failing to do so as he stumbled to grab his own handful of snow. Turning he hurled a ball at you, striking you in the head, to which Hawkeye responded to by hitting BJ directly in the face with a loud “Ha!”

Rounding the corner, comes a stomping, pouting Frank who halted in his tracks upon seeing the snowball fight taking place. “Hey!” he yelled as he stomped towards you “I knew it! I knew the enemy wouldn’t throw snowballs!”

Hawkeye laughed “Then why did you go running to Potter to tell him so?” 

Frank grumbled before running over to a pile of snow “I’ll show you!” spinning around, he chucked a snowball, rather pathetically towards the three of you. As the snowball went past all of you, you watched as it smashed into the chest of Colonel Potter, who had just rounded the corner.

You all froze, trying not to laugh as Frank stared at Potter in horror. Radar standing next to him with his mouth agape. You watched as Potter looked down at the snow on the ground before turning, leaning down and grabbing some snow before turning and hurling it directly at Frank.

You all howled out in laughter as Frank fell on his butt in surprise as the white powder smashed into his face. He sputtered out nonsense as he looked at Potter “Colonel! There was a rock in there”

“Good!” Potter yelled before laughing along with all of you.

After your laughter died down, Potter spoke “So, who started this little war then?” Potter asked as he looked between all of you.

You pointed at Hawkeye, who pointed at you, BJ pointed at both of you. Potter nodded his head “Right. Thought it might have been” 

“Well, there’s enough cold going around, I don’t need three of my best people getting sick out here-”

“That’s nice of you to say Colonel” Frank broke in as he finally stood up from the ground.

Potter looked over at him “Ah, yeah, I suppose I couldn’t do without you either Burns” Frank hesitated as he stared at Potter, trying to figure out what he meant as Potter turned to the three of you again “Now, it’s colder than a well digger’s butt in January out here, let’s go get some coffee in the mess-tent.”

As you all began to walk to the mess-tent, Hawkeye slug his arm across your shoulders. Hearing a loud sneeze behind you, you all looked back at Frank who looked back up at you all “I think I’m getting a cold sir.”

Potter simply shook his head. as the rest of you chuckled, before you all turned and made your way into the mess-tent. 

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